Just a Summer Fling
by High High Heels
Summary: "Did you know that Sirius almost got married?" Remus asked, hardly louder than a whisper. "If you're going to tell him about her," Molly said from the other side of the room, "then you're going to have to tell him about all the work she did for the Order too." "She was in the Order?" Hermione questioned. "As a muggle?" Remus smiled. "Did you think Sirius would marry just anybody?"
1. Chapter 1

A/N: When I first began explaining this idea to one of my friends, she asked if this was a Mary Sue fic where I was imagining myself in all of these different scenarios. The answer: no. Those fics are absolutely beautiful and I love reading them, but I've taken great precaution to separate myself from the character I created.

Okay, some slight alterations to the wonderful world J.K. Rowling created (which, disclaimer, is not me). In this fic, James' family raised him to be tolerant of muggles from the beginning and encouraged him to develop friendships with them before he left for Hogwarts. I tried to find a way to work around this to keep it more canon, but it ended up being too important to the plot. Other than an altogether new character being introduced, that should be the biggest change to the plot. I've done more research for this story than I have for any college paper I wrote, so hopefully it appears that way!

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Chapter 1.

Why he'd chosen to walk instead of apparate, he had no idea.

Remus Lupin rounded the corner to finally turn onto the street the Burrow laid on, craning his neck for tell-tale signs of the Weasley twins' damage. There seemed to always be something slightly askew each time he'd come by, something the twins would pride themselves on. They'd even created a bet that if Remus could figure out what was different with the house by the time he left, they would treat him to a new cardigan. In return, if he hadn't discovered the problem, he would personally assist them with a prank on a professor of their choosing.

Remus was currently running out of closet space to store his winnings.

Today, however, the lawn was perfectly in tact, the windows were all accounted for, and the shingles were straight. In fact, the only thing that was different was the melancholy look that crowded the face of the man walking down the path.

He knew why he'd walked, knew why he'd made the five mile journey instead of arriving there instantaneously. He'd wanted to prolong the inevitable, to forget the reason why he'd been asked to come, to act for just a few more moments like there was nothing wrong. He'd thought that the walk would give him time to prepare what to say; instead, it had only worried him more. He'd thought the fresh air would help clear his head; instead, it only fogged it up more. He had no desire to do this, no will, no motivation. The only thing that kept him going was the small voice in the back of his head, whispering, _It'll help._

He highly doubted that it would.

Remus took a moment to look up at the sky, something that always terrified him. A look up at the sky would tell him how much longer he had for normalcy, how much longer he had to pretend that everything was fine. The comfort provided from looking at the stars twinkling and the moon shining for nearly everyone else was nonexistent with him, though he tried hard to appreciate it. He was always able to find a little bit of comfort, however, when he saw the moon waning towards a close. The peace at knowing the worst part was four weeks away gave him a small ray of hope, and he was grateful for it as he walked closer to the door.

It had been several weeks since Sirius' untimely death, but the memory of it was still extremely prevalent. Remus had tried to drown away his sorrows in Firewhiskey, but the attempt proved to be futile. He had ended up smashing the glasses in frustration at still vividly recalling every second of the incident until he finally broke down on the sofa and began to sob. The thought of losing his best friend was too much, and the realization that he had no one left crushed him. He was entirely alone, save for the occasional visit from Tonks, and he felt the weight of it destroy every ounce of happiness he had remaining.

It had come as a surprise, then, when Molly asked him to come see Harry. He'd received the owl in a state of total inebriation, trying to block his mind from the wolf time creeping towards him. He'd stared at it with shaky hands, trying to focus on the words in front of him, unable to make sense of what it said. It wasn't until he'd fully recovered, four days later, that he'd been able to read the plea.

 _I know that this has been absolute hell for you,_ Molly had written, tear stains smudging some of the words, _but I cannot watch Harry go through this alone. He looks terrible, he doesn't react to anything, and I'm so worried for him, Remus. I think it would benefit you both to spend some time together, to talk things over, to try to make sense of it all. Please, Remus, please come help_.

And now, three days later, Remus found himself only feet away from the front door.

He stood there on the porch, simply staring at the door in front of him, trying to will himself to enter. He didn't know how to help Harry. He could barely help himself. He had nothing prepared, nothing to offer, nothing to think, nothing but sore feet from a long walk. What if this visit didn't do anything to help? What if he let Molly Weasley down?

Remus' thoughts were interrupted by the door swinging open, revealing the very person he was concerned about. "Remus," Molly sighed happily, squeezing him tightly into a hug. "Thank goodness you came."

Remus took in a breath and wrapped his arms around her in response. "Hello, Molly."

She took a step back and looked at him, obvious concern washing over her. "Did you walk here?"

"No," he lied. He didn't need to worry her anymore. "I apparated a little farther down the path is all." He knew she didn't buy it, knew he was a terrible liar, but she didn't question it. He breathed a silent cry of thanks for her choice to ignore it.

"And you're doing well?" she prodded.

He gave her a sad smile. "As well as I can be. How is he?"

She motioned for him to follow her and pointed in Harry's direction. "He's been like that ever since he came."

Remus took in James and Lily's son, hunched over and staring out the window. Harry looked exactly like he had not even twenty-four hours ago, with the same amount of sorrow and heaviness in the same places. Remus didn't know what to do at all.

"Harry," Molly called out. "Professor Lupin is here to see you."

Remus watched as Harry turned around slowly, offering him a small smile. "Hello, sir."

"Hi, Harry," he replied, deciding to cowboy up and sit next to him on the couch. He wouldn't let James and Lily's son down, he decided, and would at least give it a fair shot. "Feel as bad as I do?" he asked quietly.

Harry suppressed a laugh. "Definitely don't feel great."

Remus took in a huge sigh, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward. "Me either."

Before either of them could say anything else, Molly came over. "Do you want anything?" she offered. "Some tea, a sandwich, anything at all?"

"Some tea would be lovely, Molly. Thank you." As Molly scurried away to prepare everything, Remus turned back to Harry. _Molly wasn't lying_ , he thought as he looked his former student up and down. The sorrow was evident in every part of him, from his hooded eyes to his hunched back. Remus knew the sorrow only too well, but he cast aside his feelings as he took in the boy sitting next to him. He looked absolutely exhausted, evidence, Remus knew, of fitful sleep and endless nightmares over what had happened. Then, there was the added "bonus" of the whole wizarding world counting on him, the weight of the pressure as notable as the forlorn look in his eyes. Remus took it in, deciding that even if he could not do anything to make himself better, he would do everything in his power to help Harry.

 _Oh, James,_ Remus thought desperately, _help me talk to your son._

He took in a breath and decided to begin with the obvious. "She's worried about you, you know."

Harry offered a weak nod back. "They all are. I've heard them. They try to stay quiet around me, but they're a little louder than they think."

"Well it's the Weasley's, Harry," Remus replied. "I don't think they know how to be quiet." He watched as Harry let a chuckle escape, bringing a smile to Remus' face. "It must be comforting to be surrounded by people who care for you so deeply."

Harry nodded again. "Do you have anyone with you, professor?"

"Tonks comes by and visits when it gets difficult," he admitted. "She's been very considerate the past couple of weeks. It's nice having her around. I keep telling her that it's dangerous for her to be around me, but…" he trailed off, looking directly out the window, his mind shifting to the girl he'd grown so fond of. Harry faced him, obviously waiting for him to continue, and Remus eventually breathed out, "but she keeps coming." _Focus on Harry, not yourself,_ he chastised himself.

"You know you're always welcome here," Harry offered. "We would love to have you visit more often."

Remus stole a glance at James and Lily's son, smiling as he saw their faces meld together to form his. "Yes, I know. I'll be sure to take up that offer shortly, I promise."

Molly came with the tea shortly after, setting everything to their liking. After promising to check up on them in case they needed anything else, she set out upstairs, nudging Remus before she left. He knew she depended on him, knew that she thought he was the only way to help Harry. He gave her a small nod before she slipped away, a silent promise to try.

He didn't want to let Molly Weasley down.

The two sat there silently for a few moments after, sipping their tea nonchalantly and staring out the window. Although no words were spoken, there was a comfort in the grief that they shared. There was a relief that each of them felt as they watched the rain drops slide down the windowpane, neither of them pressuring the other to talk. This was the healing they both needed, Remus slowly realized, and for those few short moments, they took it in completely.

 _Tell him about her,_ he heard James' voice suddenly say. _Tell him about her and Sirius._

Remus took in a breath as _her_ smile immediately came to his mind. He slammed his eyes shut, trying to repeal the memory. It had been ages since he had thought of her, something he was beginning to become proud of. He had spent so much time trying to hide all evidence of her from his life, the thought of her too painful to relive after all that had happened. Now, after months, _years,_ of blocking her out of his memory, she was suddenly back, this time spinning happily on a dance floor, reaching out for him to join her.

 _I can't,_ he thought, the image of her immediately changing to Sirius disappearing behind the veil again. _It's too painful. There're too many memories. I can't._

 _Tell my son about the girl whose memory deserves to live._

Remus glanced towards Harry, taking in the brokenness before him. This wasn't his story to share. It deserved to be told by his godfather. It deserved to be told in a light hearted spirit, one that wasn't riddled with utter despair and sorrow. It deserved to be told with her sitting right next to Sirius, running her fingers through his hair and pointing out what was being over-exaggerated. It deserved to be relived in a happy setting. It deserved to have a happy ending. _What good would a sad story do for an already sad child?_

 _I can't_ , he thought again desperately, but another image—this time clearer and brighter than any before—of her came to mind, tears streaming down her cheeks, gently grasping his hand and whispering, "I'll never forget you."

He'd repeated it back to her, confident he could keep his promise, and then proceeded to spend the next several years doing everything in his power to defy it. It was too late to try to do her justice, he decided. _It's too late for me to do anything for her._

 _Now we both know that's a pile of bollocks._

Remus' eyes flew open at the voice that entered his head. He tried to maintain a steady breath so as to not disturb Harry, but the owner of that phrase was undeniable. He'd been hearing James whisper in the back of his mind for ages, but now him? He supposed it was inevitable, considering he was gone too, but Remus couldn't even begin to wonder how this would begin to affect him.

 _Do it for me, Moony,_ Sirius said, interrupting his thoughts. _Tell him about her for me._

Remus thought back to what Tonks had said on her last visit. They had been sitting on the floor by his small fireplace, each holding a cup of tea, when he'd admitted he heard James' voice occasionally, guiding him towards certain paths or directions. "He was the one who directed me towards the car that Harry ended up sitting in," he'd explained, staring at his cup instead of her face. "I went to sit in the one next to it and I heard him say, 'Why don't you sit on the one to the left?' I wouldn't have been there when the dementors attacked if I hadn't listened." He'd paused for a moment, rubbing his face with his free hand before looking back up at her. "I know I sound like a raving lunatic, but do you think it's possible that he's actually there?"

"I think it's absolutely possible," she'd said, staring up at him with gentle brown eyes. "I think that he was with you through some of your hardest moments growing up, and he doesn't intend on letting you be alone through these. I think that he'll be with you until he realizes you don't need him anymore. And I absolutely think that, knowing Sirius, he'll show up soon too."

Remus took another look at Harry. _I don't know if I can,_ he argued, but even he could tell how weak it was. His resolve was crumbling as one more image popped into his head, this time of her sitting across from him at a dinner table. "Remus Lupin," she'd said in front of everyone, her voice loud enough for all to hear, "I don't think you realize how incredibly valuable you are."

A smile—a genuine, unapologetically happy smile—came to his face. He had forgotten her compassion, forgotten her grace. She'd accepted him openly and willingly, almost establishing a closer relationship with him than she had with James (though most certainly not with Sirius). She'd been his friend from the beginning and continued to be until the end. He was sure that even now, after so many years had passed, that she would gladly welcome him back into her life with open arms. That friendship was one of the purest ones he'd ever obtained and one of the few—outside of the relationship he had with James, Sirius, and yes, even Peter—that he could genuinely say shaped his life. He'd been so blessed by her; why had he ever forgotten?

 _So then don't do it for us, then,_ he heard James say.

 _Do it for her._

Remus set his cup down and idly picked up a spoon, stirring his tea ever so slightly. "Did you know that Sirius almost got married?" he said, hardly louder than a whisper.

Harry looked up at Remus, a questioning look on his face. "Married?"

Remus nodded. "Yup, to a muggle. An American one at that."

Harry gave him an incredulous look and set down his cup. "Really?"

"Seriously," Remus teased, nudging Harry with his elbow. Harry smiled at the age old pun before Remus continued, "Yeah, they got engaged right before he was thrown into Azkaban."

"What was her name?"

Remus took in a breath, letting it out when another smile crept onto his face. He turned his focus to the window in front of him. "Beth," he said, the smile slowly turning more joyful and at peace. "Her name was Beth."

"Beth," Harry tested. Remus could tell the intrigue was setting in. "Did you know her too, then?"

"We all did."

"Including my parents?" Harry inquired.

Remus nodded and turned his focus back towards him. "She was a friend of your dad's. That's how we all met her."

Harry sat back and turned toward him, giving him his devoted attention. "When did you meet her?"

Remus took in a deep breath as he relaxed into a similar position as Harry. "Oh, let's see. Two years before your parents died. So… the summer of 1979."

"Can you tell me about her?" Harry urged.

Remus gave Harry a long look, one that conveyed all of the heartache the story would entail but also all of the joy that would come from reliving each moment he spent with her. He took in yet another deep breath, allowing his mind to fall back to the first smile he ever saw from her, from the first time he met her. "Hi, I'm Beth." She'd shook his hand, then slightly stepped closer. "And I fully intend on being your best friend."

Finally, a smile. "I'd love to."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

 **Late May, 1979**

Beth stood up on the plane as soon as it landed, anxiously awaiting her turn to get off. She checked for the fifth time that she had everything and mentally went over everything she had packed. _What's the point of worrying_ , she thought. _There's nothing I can do about it now_.

The thrill of being back in England went straight through her as she glanced at the familiar setting of Heathrow airport through the window. It had been too long since the last time her and James had seen each other, and now she was here to spend the entire summer with him. How they were able to convince both her and his parents of the whole scenario, she still had no idea. Yet, here she was, bag in one hand and a wedding invitation in the other, ready to spend what she was sure to be the best summer of her life with one of the best people she knew.

James and her's friendship was anything but spontaneous. No, it was planned out, thoughtfully and carefully by both sets of parents, both determined to see their child befriend the other. The parents had met each other when her family had moved in next door, and the Potter's had been sure to be the first ones to introduce themselves to the new family. Happily surprised by their generous and inviting neighbors, Beth's family immediately took to the Potter's. It was only when they discovered that their children were the same age that the mandatory playdates had begun. Although initially slightly wary of each other (" _What do you mean, I have to share my toys with him?")_ , the two soon hit it off, and thus the friendship began.

James and Beth were infatuated with each other, as most young friends are. They made sure that they did everything together, whether it meant going to the pool, playing pirates, or using sidewalk chalk. It wasn't uncommon for one to stay for dinner or for a spontaneous sleepover to occur. They even tried imitating the other's accent when at the other's house, as Beth's family was from the states and James' from England. The two were inseparable, causing both sets of parents to bask in the success at setting up their friendship.

It was after seven years of living there that Beth's family received the announcement that her dad's unit had been re-stationed in Brazil. Although Beth had known that the possibility of moving would always be upon them, the news of the notice had been heartbreaking. She and James had cried everyday until the move, devastated over the thought of leaving each other. "It's not fair," she remembered James proclaiming over and over. "Why don't you just stay here? You could come to school with me. I'm sure you'd fit in just fine." They had raced to his parents and brought up the idea to them, but their brilliant plan had backfired. The last attempt at trying to stay together was when they managed to fit James in one of her suitcases, but her parents were smarter than they had anticipated. Dejected, they had hugged each other fiercely, adamantly assuring the other that they would write.

However, while their parents had torn apart their idea of living together, they did have one surprise for them. Not anticipating the separation to be as traumatic as it turned out to be, James' family had met with Beth's and had created a system for them to visit each other as often as possible. Beth could still hear James and her's squeals of excitement when they discovered that they would be able to see each other for one week each summer, and that the families would take turns visiting each other. James would come with his parents to visit Brazil one year, and Beth and her parents would go to England the next.

Beth recalled the day when she had asked her parents why they were so insistent on continuing their friendship. "It was the first real friend you'd had," they explained as they unpacked another box, this time in Illinois. "We didn't want to discourage you from letting your friends go just because you hadn't seen them in a while." She had hugged her parents tightly afterwards, determined that she did, indeed, have the best parents ever.

The exchange of letters were as consistent as the summers they visited. Every two weeks, Beth would rip a letter from James out of her mother's hands and practically inhale every word he had written. They were lengthy, going on about the friendships he had made in school, the different teachers he had in classes, and the homework they assigned. "It's entirely unfair how much homework they expect us to be able to do," she remembered from one letter he had written. "How are we supposed to finish that _and_ enjoy ourselves?" She, in turn, would tell him about the process of moving to yet another place, claiming that she would rather have loads of homework come from one teacher than from several others all over the world.

Each Christmas, their parents gifted their children a twenty minute long-distance phone call with the other, something they each anticipated greatly. When the days to Christmas became closer, they would hurriedly write as many letters as possible, anxiously counting down the days until they could hear each other speak once again. Each year, Beth noticed his voice becoming slightly deeper and more mature, and would continuously joke that puberty seemed to be doing him some good. Their twenty-minute conversation meant everything to them, and the tradition continued every single year with the same amount of excitement.

One day, during Beth's final year of high school, she got the letter she had been waiting for since the moment she'd heard of her. " _LILY EVANS AGREED TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME_ ," he had announced, repeating it more than necessary to ensure she believed it. " _I DON'T KNOW WHEN EVERYTHING CHANGED, BUT SHE SAID YES AND BETH, I CANNOT STOP SMILING. WHAT DO I DO ON A DATE WITH LILY EVANS THAT CAN TOP HOW PERFECT SHE ALREADY IS?_ " Beth had rejoiced with her friend from afar, writing as quickly as possible (still under the notion that the faster she wrote, the quicker it would get to him) over how much she hoped the date would go well and how excited she was for him. " _Of course she agreed_ ," she had replied. " _Anyone would agree if you had spent years not letting her forget you were in love with her. I wouldn't be surprised if you simply wore her down_."

The next letter had nothing but positive things to say about their date (literally, it went on for five pages and in so much detail that Beth once forgot she had not attended the date too). At the very end, after the usual questions about how she was doing ended, there was a postscript:

" _Oh, and Beth_ ," it had said. " _I know that this is entirely too soon to tell, but if we get married, you are going to have to promise you'll come. We'll make a summer out of it. You can stay with us the entire time and realize how incredible she is for yourself."_ Beth had laughed at the premature agreement and had replied that she would _"absolutely, most positively be at your wedding_."

The Christmas following their graduation, Beth received a save-the-date instead of a Christmas card. She immediately called James for their twenty-minute conversation and screamed her congratulations so loudly that she was sure he could hear her all the way in England. He thanked her enthusiastically for the congratulation before saying, "Listen, if you can't make it, Lily and I completely understand. If, however, there's any chance you could, we would absolutely love to have you. Do you think it could work?"

"James," she'd said, smiling widely. "There is nothing in the world that could stop me from coming to your wedding."

James had screamed, "REALLY?" just as loudly as she had screamed her congratulations. She had heard the phone drop, followed by muffled (but very loud) cheers, and it wasn't long before a feminine voice took the phone.

"Hi! Are you Beth? James has told me so much about you!"

From the moment she heard Lily's voice, Beth knew that she would like her.

They had hurriedly made as much of a plan as they could that day. Beth would spend the next semester finding an internship she could do while abroad, giving her parents a "good" reason for traveling halfway around the world for several months at a time, and would then be able to spend the entire summer with James and Lily. She promised that she would save up as much money as necessary to fly her there and back, and that she would alert them with the details of her flight whenever the days got closer. They had all screamed one last time before hanging up, and Beth found herself unable to contain all of the excitement perpetuating around her for the next six months.

During those six months, she had saved every penny, did every odd chore, and found an internship in her global economics field for her to complete while in England. Her professors were thrilled for the opportunities she'd have to advance her career in a different country, and went out of their way to set up everything that they could. Before she knew it, everything was in place, and with one final letter detailing the facts about her flight, Beth had said goodbye to her parents and set off on her plane.

Which, she reminded herself, had only been grounded for a couple of minutes. She tried to take deep calming breaths to relax her nerves and calm her excitement to see James once again and meet Lily, but she was hardly able to contain herself. She eagerly stepped out of her seat the second the opportunity was open and nearly sprinted off the plane, desperate to see her friend. After several minutes of frantic searching, she saw some floppy hair and glasses, holding a ginormous sign with the word "BETH" etched on the front. And just like that, Beth felt as though she was truly home.

"James!" she called, waving her arms to get his attention.

As soon as he caught her eye, James gave her the big toothy grin she'd always loved and sprinted towards her, not caring who he ran into. She had just enough time to drop her bag before James leaned down and scooped her up in his arms. "You're here!" he exclaimed.

"I'm here!"

He set her down gently but refused to let go. "How was your flight?" she heard him ask.

"Entirely too long," she admitted, squeezing him back just as tightly. "I was practically shaking with excitement as soon as I sat down."

James laughed and reluctantly released her, opting to grab her bag instead. "I'd be shaking too if I knew I had a devilishly handsome guy waiting for me when I arrived."

"Yeah, too bad he's engaged," she said, elbowing him in the side. He laughed again and threw his empty arm around her shoulders, encouraging her to place her arm around his waist. "When do I get to meet her?"

"What, am I not good enough for you?" he teased.

"I hate to break it to you, but the only way we agreed to get me here for the entire summer was through your fiancée," she pointed out. "As far as I can tell, you're just an added bonus."

James rolled his eyes. "Okay," he said with mock sincerity. "Lily's waiting at my flat with Sirius. She decided she'd let us catch up before she tried to steal you away from me."

"That sounds only fair," Beth admitted. As the two turned the corner for the baggage claim, she turned to him and asked, "Hey, who did you say Lily was with?"

"Hm? Oh!" James slapped his palm to his forehead. "She's with Sirius. You remember my friends from school, right?"

"Vaguely, yes," Beth said, knowing that the only information she had was based on his letters.

"Remember the one who kind of moved in with us towards the end?"

The pieces slowly came together as Beth recalled the events. "Oh, yeah, I remember him."

"Well, he doesn't technically live with me anymore, but he spends so much time there that he might as well. He'll be around for most of the summer," he explained, stopping in front of the trolley as the baggage began to come out. "Drives Lily crazy. That's another reason she's waiting at the flat, she's making him deep clean the room he usually uses so it'll be acceptable for you."

"Aw, I get a room?" she teased.

"What did you think I was going to give you, a couch?" James shook his head and smirked. "Honestly Beth, you're my closest friend, do you really think so low of me?"

After a couple of minutes of waiting, Beth's luggage was collected and rolled back to James' car. Beth recognized it immediately from their early years, remembering the long trips to the beach for a picnic or to a theater to catch a movie. She smiled at it affectionately as James packed her suitcases into the back. "This thing still works?"

James patted the car. "Are you kidding me? Lisa's just getting broken in. Never been better."

Beth gave him an inquisitive look as she reached for the passenger door handle. "You named the car Lisa?"

James motioned to his beloved vehicle. "She doesn't look like a Lisa to you?"

"She hardly looks like a car," she replied, laughing at his hurt expression.

"Not even an hour in and already bashing on one of the loves of my life," she heard him mumble before turning on the radio.

The two talked incessantly the entire ride home. After the obligatory questions regarding the upcoming wedding and her new internship, the two began to reminisce on the few fond memories they shared ("Remember when we stood on that corner and pretended we were spies?" and "Remember when we swiped cash to order a pizza there and the owner called our parents on us?"). Occasionally, Beth would take a moment to steal a glance of the passing scenery she had grown to love so much. Though it had been two years since she last visited, everything was exactly as she remembered it. As she looked out on her beloved city, she became suddenly aware of the familiar sensation that she had on the plane, thinking once again that this was about to be the best summer of her life.

"Oh, hey," James interrupted her thoughts, bringing her back to focus. "I promised Lily I would talk to you about all of my friends before you got there."

"Aw, that's sweet that she's worried about all two of them."

"Oi, watch it," he scolded. Beth only laughed in response. "I'm letting you stay at my house for free for an entire summer."

"Oh please, it was too easy," she winked at him. "What about your friends?"

"Well, as I was saying before I was _rudely_ insulted," he began, turning into the neighborhood. "They're over quite a lot. I know I already told you about Sirius, but Remus and Peter drop by frequently as well. You probably won't meet them today, but you'll meet them soon."

"Okay," she replied. "But why did Lily need you to talk to me about them?"

James paused for a moment, as if searching for the words he could use. Beth watched him search for the right thing to say before he finally settled on, "We're very close."

Beth cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "Like in a 'if the mood is right and no one's home, you might—'"

"Beth, honestly, you are here to watch me get married to Lily."

Beth threw up her hands in defense. "I was just curious, wondering if you were maybe a little…curious too."

"I mean," James cut her off before she could continue talking. "We're basically brothers. Lily took some time to find a way to fit herself into our group. I'm not saying it's impossible, it's just difficult. We're very close," he repeated. "So if you don't get along with them right away, don't worry about it. Remus and Peter will always be nice to you and will try their best not to make it awkward."

"And what about Sirius?" she asked as they pulled into his driveway.

"Sirius," he said, pausing a moment to take the key out of the ignition. "Sirius might take a little while to warm up to."

* * *

A/N: I am completely blown away by the generosity of all of you! Thank you so much for all of the follows, favorites, and reviews! My goal is to always be at least four chapters ahead of what I upload, so as soon as I've finished writing and my wonderful, incredible, magnificent beta nimblescrivener (who has some _fantastic_ stories too, check them out!) gives me the okay on chapter 7, I'll upload chapter 3.

Up next, Beth meets Lily and Sirius. How do you think it'll go?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

 _"_ _Sirius might take a little while to warm up to."_

What a vast understatement that turned out to be.

Lily had met them in the driveway before they had even managed to get her luggage out of the car. She immediately ran straight to Beth, throwing her arms around her and hugging her tightly. "I'm sorry, I don't usually hug people straight away," she apologized, "but I feel like we're already friends."

Beth didn't hesitate to hug her back, her excitement practically bursting. After years of hearing about the famous Lily Evans, she was finally there. "I'm so happy to finally meet you!" she'd exclaimed, smiling widely when Lily responded similarly.

It was when she pulled back that she saw Sirius.

He seemed alright enough from afar. Sure, he was obviously trying to give off the "bad boy" vibe with the long hair and the beat up leather jacket (which was entirely unnecessary given that it was nearly 80 degrees), but Beth had to admit that he wore the look well. He was casually leaning to one side of the doorway, propping a foot up to balance for good measure. James had loved writing her about the different "adventures" (as he called them) they had, and from what she'd read, he seemed to be just as "cool" as James had described.

The second he opened his mouth, however, Beth realized that she would have to add some adjectives of her own to her personal description of him.

"Sirius, come meet Beth," James called over. With a flash of impeccably white teeth, he sauntered over to her with a confidence that would put Marlon Brando to shame. Beth had to physically stop herself from smirking.

"Hi, I'm Beth," she introduced herself, holding out her hand.

He lifted her hand up to his lips instead of shaking it, kissed it, and replied in an overly exaggerated British accent, "Charmed, I'm sure."

It took everything in Beth not to roll her eyes at the move, instead opting to lift her eyebrows and yank her hand away. Luckily, Lily took notice and promptly hit him on the backside of his head.

"Ow, Evans," he cried, rubbing the sore spot. "What was that for?"

"We talked about how you were going to behave," she chastised.

"You talked, I listened," he corrected, leaning over to James. "Honestly, good luck with her, Prongs. She's a piece of work."

James roughly shoved him away. "Oi, that's my fiancée you're talking about, Pads."

Sirius made eye contact with Beth and winked. "I rest my case," he said.

Beth took in a deep breath. _Please don't let this be a long summer, please don't let this be a long summer…_

Ten minutes (and one long conversation about how Sirius could be a gentleman for just a few moments and help carry Beth's bags into the house) later, the four of them set off to show Beth the place. James took the lead with Lily, leaving Sirius to trail behind Beth as they went through the house. Beth immediately felt uncomfortable as she felt Sirius inching his way closer to her, stopping only when she drove her elbow into his stomach.

"Oof," he grunted, holding his stomach. Beth tossed him back a "Oh, did I hurt you, I'm sorry," for appearance's sake before turning back around, trying to steel her mind as she relished her victory. She wasn't one to use unnecessary force when dealing with issues, and in a moment, she regretted her action. She had, after all, just met him.

She'd get over it.

"As you can see, there's not too much here, but it's home," James said over his shoulder, taking her down the hallway. "You've seen your room. Down the hall to the right is the bathroom, and across from that is my room. We're using the space across from you as Lily's storage area until she officially moves in. There's a bed in there though, so if someone comes stumbling in and I'm not home, you can usually just show them to this general area."

"Of course," Sirius leaned in to whisper in her ear. "I wouldn't oppose hopping in with you every now and again."

Beth shot him a look of disgust, deciding to forgo a second elbow to his stomach, but the move seemed to only egg him on. He simply wagged his eyebrows, obviously encouraged by the response he got, and gently ushered her to continue following James. It was then that she realized it would take a little more than an elbow and a dirty look to stop him. The attention he was getting was exactly what he wanted.

She'd have to think of another tactic to get him to stand down.

Lily motioned over to the large area in front of them. "This space is essentially whatever you want it to be. James hasn't completely grasped the idea of a living room and dining room being separate areas, so don't mind all of the food stains. For those who do care, there is a table set up over there, but I don't remember the last time it was used to actually eat food off of."

"Hey, James," Sirius called from behind Beth. "Remember the last thing I ate food off of? Do we still have her number?"

Lily turned around and pulled Beth farther away from Sirius, an action that gave Beth an immense amount of faith in her future friendship with Lily. "Ignore him," she said, casting a look to Sirius. "He's been extra antsy ever since the engagement announcement. He can't stand the thought of me taking his husband away from him."

"I thought we decided he was my wife," James joked, putting an arm around his friend.

"Honestly, Evans," Sirius replied. "You really think I'd look better in a tux than a wedding dress?"

"I think you'd look better in a casket, but unfortunately no one asked me," she retorted. She grasped Beth's arm gently and ushered her towards another room. "They never take a break," she complained under her breath, causing Beth to giggle alongside her.

"You seem to handle them pretty well, though," Beth offered.

"Yeah, well, I've lived with them for the past seven years," Lily said, taking in a deep breath. "To be completely honest, I was always rather jealous of the set up you had. Spend a week with them during the summer and then a phone call at Christmas? Sometimes that doesn't sound too bad."

The final room Lily had to show was the kitchen. It was modest and quaint with barely any space available, and Beth decided she'd never loved a kitchen more. "There's not a lot," Lily explained, showing her the basics. "But it works for James pretty well, and anytime I come over we're usually either eating take out or something I've already prepared. Don't worry though, I'll start bringing food for you too whenever I visit, so long as you promise to do the same for me."

Beth looked up from the stove she was inspecting. "You don't live here?"

Lily smiled softly. "No, we decided to take a little more traditional route before we set up a permanent home. It works alright for now and helps keep the parents happy." At that moment, a large _thud_ was heard, shaking the entire house before a muffled _"We're okay!"_ was shouted throughout the house. "Plus," Lily added a second later. "A break from them isn't always awful."

Beth laughed at Lily's honesty. "Having second thoughts, are we?"

Lily immediately shook her head. "Oh, no, I couldn't ever give up James. Or Sirius, for that matter," she admitted. "I know he's a bit much, but he calms down after a while. He just has to put on a show for you first, you know, and show that he's all that and a bag of crisps. Once he realizes you're not impressed or you stun him into silence, he subdues quite a bit."

"So he's not always that…" Beth paused for a moment, trying to find the right word to describe the person she'd just met. "Loud?" she finally settled on.

Lily guffawed at the word she chose. "Loud. What a polite adjective," she mumbled to herself before turning back towards Beth. "He's mental is what he is. It'll be obnoxious stories and disgusting comments for a while. He plays himself up to be the 'best' at what people perceive him as, you know, with the whole 'bad boy' thing. He's basically just testing to see what will get a rise out of you. He's one of the greatest people you'll ever meet once you finally crack him, though."

"Really?" Beth asked, her tone laced with disbelief.

"Honestly," Lily assured her. "Once you have him on your side, he won't leave. I can't remember exactly, but there was this one moment fifth year, I believe, where I was at the library and hiding from life. One of my 'friends' had just called me a mu—um, a really offensive word I won't repeat, you can use your imagination, and I was sitting in a corner just sobbing. It was," Lily ran her fingers through her hair, obviously uncomfortable at having to relive the memory. "It was awful. I don't know what he was doing there, but Sirius found me. At first I thought that he was just going to poke more fun at me, so I told him to bugger off, but he stayed there. He sat down next to me and, without saying a word, just put his arm around me. I don't know how long we were there, but he stayed with me until I was done." She smiled slightly to herself, and Beth found herself smiling with her. "We haven't spoken about it since, but we both know that was the day we officially became friends. I know for a fact that he'd drop everything to help me with something if I asked him to." Lily looked off toward the doorway, smiling to herself as they listened to James and Sirius talk. "So, all that to say, he will get better. You just have to get there."

Beth glanced towards the entryway. "You think so?"

"I know so," Lily assured her. "He wouldn't be bugging you like he is if he didn't have some sort of attraction to you. You guys will be friends soon, I promise."

"What about his other friends? Are they that crazy?" Beth inquired.

"You mean Remus and Peter?"

"Yeah," Beth confirmed. "Are they anything like Sirius?"

Lily stared at her incredulously. "Has James told you absolutely anything?"

"I know everything about you," she teased. "James wasn't exactly interested in talking about how to get his _friends_ to like him."

Lily laughed and turned to grab the kettle. "Well, if we're going to start talking about the Marauders, we're going to need some tea. This could take a while."

"The who?"

"They call themselves the Marauders," Lily explained, filling up the kettle with water. "You know, like pirates? They would go around school all of the time, trying to find secret passageways and hidden codes and all other kinds of nonsense. All it did was get them into heaps of trouble. But," Lily admitted, turning off the water and placing it on the stove, "they got rather good at it. Somehow, they even got me involved in a couple of different pranks they set up. Those boys have a talent for anything they set their minds to, and all it was spent on were jokes and pranks and—well, no, I guess some good came out of it for Remus' sake."

"What happened with Remus?" Beth pressed.

Lily turned her back and focused on adding some tea in the pot. "Oh, nothing. Sorry, there's just a lot to explain with him and most of it is personal details that only he could really tell you about. I think you'll really like Remus, though," she said, pivoting to face her, and Beth knew that whatever Lily had alluded to earlier was to be dropped.

"You think so?"

Lily nodded her head vigorously. "Oh, for sure," she promised. "He has a really strong head on his shoulders. He's one of the kindest people you'll ever meet too, and in a completely genuine way. He really cares about the well-being of all of them. He's also the most intellectual of the group, so if you like discussing authors and all of that, he's the one you'll want to turn to."

"Are you saying I'm not an intellectual?" Sirius suddenly emerged from the other room, joining them in the kitchen. He reached out for a tin full of cookies, offering the stash to Beth. "Don't let her fool you, darling. We were having a deep talk only minutes before you arrived."

"You were asking me whether I thought James looked better shirtless or in a suit," Lily said as Beth reached in and grabbed a cookie, trying to avoid the wink Sirius gave her.

"And it was invigorating conversation, was it not?"

"It was until you started adding your opinion."

"Oh, please, Lil," James added, entering the increasingly smaller space and reaching out to her. "We both know that Sirius' opinion is just as, if not more important than, yours." He placed a soft peck on her lips before she could respond, melting away the scowl she previously had on her face.

"Only now the question is," Sirius began, leaning across the kitchen island to stare at Beth. "What is Beth's opinion?"

Beth would have sent back a witty retort that would have them all blushing, but Lily intervened. "Would you let Beth breathe a bit? It's hardly fair for her to be subjected to this torture the second she gets off the plane."

"Alright," James complied. "We'll let her go for now. Beth, tell me if this crazy girl starts bothering you. I'll be sure to set her straight."

Lily smacked his arm and told him to knob off before returning her focus back to the tea. "Like I said, you'll get used to it." She took a deep breath and looked back at Beth, confused. "What were we talking about again?"

"Remus—"

"Remus!" Lily interrupted, lightly smacking her head. "Yes, you'll like him. He's extremely kind, unless you get him on a bad day. That doesn't happen too often though, so you most likely won't need to worry about that. Peter, on the other hand, is an absolute bowl of fluff. He made those cookies," Lily pointed to the one Beth was eating. "I don't know him quite as well, unfortunately, but he's an absolute sweetheart. You know for a fact that he'd do anything for his friends. He helps round them out. It's honestly a really great system they have going, the four of them."

Beth leaned in on her elbow and placed her chin in her hand, absolutely engaged by the subject. "So how do James and Sirius fit in? Remus is the intellectual, Peter is the sweetheart, what about them?"

"Well," Lily began, leaning in on her elbows as well. "That's the thing. They don't have one absolute quality that defines them. They're so close to each other that they're all each other, if that makes sense." Beth shook her head, prompting Lily to try to explain them in a different way. "I know, I'm rubbish at this. I'll get it through, though, I promise." She bit her lip in deep concentration, unknowingly bringing Beth back to a letter James had written her years before.

 _She does this thing when she's thinking really hard,_ he had written her. _She'll scrunch up her eyes and bite her lip, staring off out of the corner of her eye, and you can just tell that she'll think up something extraordinary. Maybe one day she'll think up a reason to go out with me._

"I've got it," Lily proclaimed, breaking Beth out of her trance. "They're all essentially a poorly done copy of the other. The qualities that define James, for example, have been adopted into Remus' lifestyle, and then the same with all of the others. You'll see the same traits in each of them, but they've all adopted different parts of each other. So, the idea is that if you like at least two of them, you'll probably end up liking the others."

"And that's what happened with you?"

"More or less," she agreed, taking the screaming kettle off of the stove. "Oh, the biggest thing to know about them is that they all have little nicknames for each other."

 _Nicknames?_ Beth thought to herself. "Like, Jim?"

Lily laughed. "Oh, no, nothing normal. That would be entirely too boring." She reached up and opened a cabinet, pulling down two tea cups. "No, it's all based off of their favorite animal, or something like that. They call James "Prongs," because he likes deer, Sirius "Padfoot" because he likes dogs—which, if you ask me, is more of a double entendre than anything else. Remus likes wolves, so he's called "Moony," and Peter's known as "Wormtail" because of his obsession with rats, or something. You know, I'm not for sure that he actually likes rats, come to think of it."

Beth nodded softly. "That's certainly…original," she offered.

Lily shook her head as she poured the tea. "Beth, I legitimately do not know how I got myself tangled up with this lot."

"Because you love us," Sirius said, sauntering in again. He reached over Lily's head and grabbed a tea cup from the cabinet, going to pour himself a cup as well. Lily smacked his hand away.

"Excuse me, this isn't for you."

Sirius leaned over the kettle. "You've made enough to host the entire Queen's Guard."

"I made enough for me to get acquainted with Beth."

"Well, perhaps I'd like to get acquainted too," Sirius offered, filling his cup in spite of Lily's protests and going to stand beside her. "Has she told you a load of rubbish about me?"

"Only that you like to be called Padfoot," Beth supplied. "I'm afraid the only thing you have going for you right now is your first impression."

Lily sipped her tea. "That's a cue for you to change, Sirius."

"To change? No," Sirius said. looking Beth over. "Like it or not Lil, she doesn't entirely hate me." Beth raised her eyebrows, but found herself biting back a grin in the process.

"Oh, you think so?" Lily questioned.

Sirius nodded. "I'm feeling fairly confident. She would have told me to buzz off ages ago if she did."

"How do you know that's not what I'm thinking right now?" Beth asked him.

Sirius took a quick gulp of his tea before staring back at her. "Because you're an American woman, and by law all British men are required to be hot to you. I'm essentially doing all of this for you."

"So, you're hitting on me because no British woman is attracted to you?"

"Hitting on you?" Sirius repeated, acting offended. He clucked his tongue. "No, trust me, if I'm hitting on you, you'll know. But, in the mean time, who says we can't have a little fun?" He leaned in, as if to tell a whisper. "We can have contests to see who can be louder, us or James and Lily."

Lily stormed to the doorway. "James!" she shouted. "Come save your friend from your friend!"

Beth faced him full on, however, determined to not stand down. Meeting him eye for eye, she replied, "Are you that insecure about your skills in bed that you think the only way we could win is if we were in a contest?"

"That depends," Sirius shifted slightly closer to her, obviously trying to make her shrink away. She didn't. "How well can you drive a stick?" the question was positively dripping with innuendo, and Beth saw Lily close her eyes in embarrassment.

Beth, however, simply took her cup in her hands and lifted it to take a drink. "I don't like to test drive something that doesn't _come_ highly recommended, or one that hasn't had much experience on the road."

Sirius lifted his eyebrows. "Trust me, sweetheart, I've got plenty of miles on me."

"Your right hand talks to you often, does it?"

James turned the corner and entered the room. "You called for me?" he asked Lily. She was staring with her mouth open wide at Beth though, who was staring intently at Sirius, who was staring at Lily with an equally wide mouth. James looked from person to person. "What did I miss?" he asked.

Lily took her cup back in her hand and laughed. "Just like I said, you're going to have to save your friend," she said, pointing towards Sirius, "from your friend," she finished, pointing at Beth.

Beth held the intense gaze between Sirius, adamant not to back down. She watched as a flash of wounded pride flicked past, followed immediately by an air of confidence, but soon quickly chased away by a look of intrigue. The intrigue held, and Beth watched as his face slowly shifted from one of shock to one of impressed bewilderment. She smiled softly at him, an unspoken moment of gloating passing between the two, before calmly taking another sip of her tea. He returned it, and Beth thought she could easily spend hours staring into his dark grey eyes. After a moment more, Sirius gently bowed away, picking up his cup.

"She's alright," he admitted to James before walking out of the kitchen.

Beth watched him leave before turning her focus to James, who was still confused at what had happened. "He's alright," she copied, not even attempting to hide her grin.

 _"_ _Sirius might take a little while to warm up to."_

 _What a vast understatement_ , she thought. _I like him already._

* * *

A/N: You all are incredible. No, amazing. No, _stupendous._ I am so thankful for each and every one of you (especially you, nimblescrivener. Best beta ever). May you all have a better day than Leslie Knope with a plate of waffles.

Up next, Beth meets up with an old friend and Sirius does something nice (is that vague enough for you?)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

"And right over here is where your desk will be," the lady with the pink pantsuit told her.

Beth took a look at her small office space. It was everything she had imagined it would be. The cubicle was facing the western part of the building and was located near a window, something she knew she would enjoy when the days became more and more stressful. The space itself was bare, but her mind quickly put together a collage of pictures featuring her friends and family decorating the blank spaces. _A vase of flowers here, a set of notepads there, and this will be perfect._

"I love it," Beth smiled, clutching all of her papers to her chest.

The lady with the pink pantsuit ushered her into her work space and handed her a small piece of paper. "This will tell you where to find your first bit of work. Unfortunately, I have a meeting in just a couple of minutes and have to be off, so I'll tell you this: the work that we do here is crucial. Everything each person does has been specifically chosen for them and is based on their competency and skill level. So," the lady said, leaning in closer to ensure the importance of what she was about to say, "do not think that we are necessarily giving you busy work by filing through papers. That's what you'll do for a while, and it'll seem tedious and unimportant, I promise. However, they are _extremely_ important for what we do here and absolutely have to be done. Every person here has started with this and has worked their way up the ladder. Give it time and all of your effort, and you'll be able to do the same."

Beth smiled at the lady in the pink pantsuit. "I will."

"Wonderful," the lady said, standing back up. "Introduce yourself to your office mates soon. They'll be crucial to your sanity."

Beth looked around at the people in her area. They were hard at work, hardly taking a moment to breathe, nose deep in papers and post-it notes and office memos. Beth looked back to her blank desk, unsure how or when to introduce herself to the others when she currently had no work to do. The last thing she wanted to do was impose upon others' work schedules to spend time discussing the unusual amount of traffic she was in on her train this morning. Taking one last sweep of those around her, she gulped down the knot in her throat and silently decided that she would meet at least one friend before she left today, no matter who she had to interrupt. "I will," she replied to the lady, nodding to herself for extra assurance.

"And Beth," the lady called, causing Beth to look back up to her. As soon as their eyes met, the lady smiled at her reassuringly. "Welcome aboard."

The lady walked away, and Beth found herself completely alone for the first time in seven days.

She had been at James' flat for a week now, using the short break to spend as much time as possible with James and Lily. Since she had grown up around all of the tourist attractions, the days were spent finding off-the-wall pubs and pizza shops, occasionally opting to stroll through a park or tour the countryside. They'd had an absolutely wonderful time, and with every step, Beth had grown more and more confident in her decision to spend the summer here. In fact, she had been thinking that it wouldn't be so terrible if she moved back altogether, though she was still unsure how Sirius would react to it.

Of course, he'd joined right along with them on their daily trips. She hadn't even been asked if it would be alright for him to come too, not that she would have said no. It had simply been assumed that the four of them would tour her favorite country together, and together they went. He'd been there to point out every sleazy motel and adult store, always asking Beth if she wanted to go in and check it out. She had, in turn, asked the same to him about every zoo, circus, and jail, insisting that he must have escaped from one of them. They had battled each other everyday, usually uninterrupted as James and Lily led them on several steps ahead.

The first three days with him were absolute agony. He had been annoying and crude and obnoxious from the moment he woke up to the moment he fell asleep, even then creating some form of torture as he snored loudly. She'd woken up tired, jet-lagged, and angry each day, only to find that Sirius was hogging the guest bathroom for (what she hoped was) his hair. She'd pounded on the door, demanding he let her in with the early morning logic that she was the guest.

"We're both guests," he shouted back. "I don't live here either!"

They'd both been on edge the remainder of those first three days, constantly making snide comments towards each other and hoping one would stick. Even involuntarily, they were at odds. At breakfast, his hand moved too fast and spilled orange juice in her lap. She'd tripped while holding a smoothie and it landed all over his favorite leather jacket. He'd found the one slick spot on the floor at a pub and had grabbed at anything to keep him steady, his hands "conveniently" finding her boobs. She'd kicked a shoe off when she'd returned from her run and landed it on his groin. He'd yell, she'd scream, and James and Lily would rub their heads at night, trying to figure out how to keep them civil around each other.

The fourth day, however, things began to get slightly more tolerable. The forecast called for torrential rain the entire day, effectively canceling the plans that they had. Lily called earlier to announce that she was caught up in a situation she couldn't get out of, causing James to play the ever-valiant white knight and come to her rescue. And so, Sirius and Beth were left alone in a flat that wasn't theres with many a breakable things in their reach.

Instead of the fight that both of them expected, though, the two spent the entire day watching the telly and doing impersonations of people they knew. Sirius proved to do a rather convincing Nixon impersonation, causing Beth to roll off the couch from laughing so hard. Beth, in turn, did a spot-on James impression, which caused Sirius to shoot milk through his nose. They laughed and talked easily, both of them well-rested and at ease, and were in the middle of a rousing discussion about whether honey was to be eaten or drank when James finally returned.

After that day in, their interactions were more calm and enjoyable. Instead of finding distinct ways to aggravate the other, they ganged up on James and Lily, even when they could not hear them. Sirius would tell a story about one of the many times James tried to ask her out, and Beth would respond with one regarding him practicing his kissing technique on his favorite stuffed animal. The system worked perfectly, and would usually end with one or both of them praising Lily for agreeing to marry him, much less agree to go out with him.

Yesterday, they had ended the night with him showing off his motorcycle (although Beth personally thought that Lily's title, "the only thing he loves more than sex and James," was better). Beth had been none too shocked when he announced he had it with him, choosing instead to be shocked at his offer for them to go on a drive.

"Please tell me you're not going to ask me if you can take me for a ride," she'd begged.

"Technically, it'd make more sense for you to ask me that," he'd replied, winking at her (he did that frequently). "But no, if you want, I have an extra helmet."

She had hesitated, looking for James and Lily for help deciding what to do, but the couple had returned inside. She looked back at Sirius, who was holding the helmet out to her. "Come on, Beth. You haven't seen a London sunset until you've seen it on a bike."

He was right.

Of course, he'd made some comments about her holding on tight ("Hey, does this count as our first hug?" was her favorite), but she had to admit that the ride was breathtaking. He'd driven her up and out of the hustle and bustle through multiple backroads, twisting and turning every which way. About half an hour later, Beth found herself in the middle of nowhere, Sirius insisting that the best view of the city was right over that hill. Upon arriving, Sirius turned off the bike, pointed to the right side of them, and said, "Look over there."

And there, right out before her, was the city she loved so much, the sun gleaming off the buildings in such a way that she nearly cried at how beautiful it was. The purple, orange, and pink of the sunset danced with each other, creating a delicate blend as they all merged together. And the sun, the gorgeous, breathtaking sun with the power to blind those who stared at it too long, had never looked so at peace, so marvelous, so radiant. Her eyes moved from point to point, simply taking it all in, never wanting to let the mental image go.

"You know," she'd said to Sirius, who was now sitting beside her on the grass, "my dad used to tell me that God always loved painters. He thought they were extraordinary coming up with pictures representing the work he made, so he came up with a plan. Every time a painter died, he'd let them create one last masterpiece in the sky." Beth shook her head in amazement. "Whoever did it tonight certainly knows what they're doing."

"That's beautiful," Sirius had admitted, never taking his eyes off of the sky. "I think I like that."

Beth had laughed. "Yeah, I think I do too."

They sat there, taking in the scenery before them, basking in the beauty, when Sirius had said, "I was told a story sort of similar to that." At Beth's encouragement, he'd told her of the first day he had officially moved in with the Potter's. "I grew up in a house that celebrated discrimination," he'd explained. "It was part of the reason why I left. I hated the idea of thinking myself higher than another simply because of my status."

Beth turned to look at him, shocked at his being so open about the situation and wanting to ask questions, but he had simply continued. "That first day, though, James' mum and I took a walk and somehow we started talking about clouds. We were probably saying what shape it looked like, I don't know, but she said, 'You know, I've always thought that the clouds represented people who died. The ones closest to the sun are the ones who believed that they were all high and mighty in life, but look how little they really impact the earth. They provide no life, hardly any shade from the sun, and look as though a small breeze could break them apart. It's the people who spend their life working for the good of others, doing everything they can to love everyone no matter who they are or what they look like, that actually benefit the earth. They're as large as their love for others, providing relief from heat and life to plants. They're the ones to remember. They're the ones that bring life.'"

Beth took in the words, her eyes shifting to see a truth she had never considered. "That's remarkable," she'd whispered, feeling her heart rate increase as the words soaked into her being.

Sirius had smiled. "I've never looked at clouds the same way."

He'd driven her back, and she'd held on tightly (for safety reasons, she'd told herself). She'd thanked him repeatedly for the trip, and he'd thanked her for wanting to take one with him in the first place.

"I know I can come off as a bit of a tosser, and I know I don't really do anything to try to stop that," he'd said, causing Beth to laugh. "But I really enjoy your company, Beth. I think I'm going to be very happy indeed that you're here to visit."

"What if I decided I wanted to live here?" she'd teased as they'd walked to the front door.

Sirius had stopped and had given her an intense look, one she wasn't sure how to interpret. She'd immediately tried to take it back at his lack of response. "Hey, I was just kidding."

He'd stared at her a moment longer before shaking his head, as if coming out of a trance. "I just thought of something," he'd explained. "I think it'd be brilliant if you lived here."

He'd immediately pushed open the door and went inside, leaving Beth confused. His reaction was nothing close to anything she had anticipated, expecting him to throw all kinds of naughty suggestions as to where she could stay if she did. His lack of a response wasn't normal, and Beth had determined to ask him if she had said something wrong. He had already retired for the night when she'd finally entered the flat, however, and Beth, while slightly disturbed at his reaction, decided it best to not push the issue.

This morning, however, he'd stopped her just before she'd stepped out the door for her first day, calling her back. "Good luck today," he'd said. "You'll be fine."

She'd flashed him a smile, told him thank you, and set off, the smile staying on her face for longer than she anticipated.

Which brought her to where she was now, six hours after her initial meeting with the lady in the pink pantsuit, desk flooded in paperwork that would have to be set off until tomorrow, and a hunger that was insatiable. It had taken her nearly half an hour to find the room indicated on her sheet of paper, twenty minutes for the man at the desk to explain to her what to do, and another fifteen to find her way back to her desk. She'd flopped the load down and immediately got to work, determined to finish with everything before she left. Beth thought back to her all those hours ago and laughed. What a naive little intern she'd been, thinking she could get that amount of work done in one day.

Beth picked up her bag and set off on her way, deciding that she had just enough time to have a bite to eat before she caught her train. She knew the only food that would be waiting for her at the flat was cereal, and she was not about to allow that to be her first meal after her first day at her internship. She listened to her heels clack as she walked toward the marble staircase, ready to leave.

"Now, I know for a fact that there is no way that could be Beth, because Beth lives in the states."

Beth turned around at the voice and found a friendly red-haired woman with her arms stretched out wide. She immediately recognized her. "Caitlin!" she exclaimed, running towards her. The two embraced each other with an excitement that only long lost friends could have, and Beth silently thanked God for a person she knew being here. _I guess I did meet a friend before I left,_ she thought, feeling victorious for the first time all day.

"What are you doing here?" Caitlin squealed.

"I'm in town for the summer," Beth explained, still hugging her. "Remember James Potter?"

Caitlin pulled back. "Dorky little James Potter who followed you around like a lost puppy? How could I forget!"

"Yeah, he's getting married at the end of the summer and asked me to come stay with him, so I got an internship and here I am."

"He's getting married?" Caitlin asked.

Beth immediate response was to try and cover for James not inviting her. "Oh, they're only inviting a couple of people, I'm honestly shocked that I—"

"Oh, no, not that," Caitlin insisted. "We haven't spoken in years, you at least I got a letter from every once in a while. No, it's just that," Caitlin threw up her left hand, "I'm getting married too!"

Another squeal erupted from the two girls, causing the receptionist at the desk to give them a nasty look. The two didn't care, though, and Beth reached out for her hand to stare at the rock she was wearing. "Good Lord," she cried. "What does he do for a living?"

"Right?" Caitlin asked, staring at it too. "Anyway, yeah, I'm getting married!"

"When?"

"This Saturday night actually," she smiled widely. "It's all coming together, Beth. Everything has honestly just been so perfect lately and now you're here and—" Caitlin suddenly gasped loudly, clutching Beth's hands as she did. "You should come!"

Beth shook her head, trying to decide whether she heard her correctly. "What?"

"No, you should come! It would work perfectly. I haven't seen you in forever. This is destiny!"

"Caitlin," Beth stopped her, trying to get her to calm down. "I would love to come, but don't you have everything planned out? A seating chart, that sort of thing?"

"But no, see, this is what makes it destiny," Caitlin said, urging her off to the side when the receptionist gave them another dirty look. "My cousin called me today and said that his girlfriend and him just broke up and that he won't be bringing her. You can just take her place!"

"You want me to go to your wedding with your cousin?" Beth asked.

"Oh, you won't actually have to _be_ with him," she assured. "Honestly, he's kind of a bore. No, that'd just be where you sit for dinner and then you could go off and have a great time. I'll even set aside an entire ten minutes solely for you. Oh, Beth, please come, it'd be a favor to _me_ if you did."

Beth chuckled at the coincidence of the situation before she nodded. "If it's alright with your cousin, then I'd love to go."

Caitlin squealed again and wrapped her arms around Beth's neck, spinning them around. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the receptionist put her head in her hands and groaning. Caitlin did not seem to care. "Oh, Beth," she said, still twirling them around, "you have no idea how amazing this is. I was just talking to my fiancé about you the other day and now here you are, agreeing to come to my wedding!"

Beth pulled Caitlin towards the elevator, urging her to get away from the distraught receptionist. "Why don't you call me later tonight with all of the details? Then I'll be able to write everything down so I won't forget."

"I'm one step ahead of you," Caitlin declared, pulling an invitation out of her purse. "I always keep a couple of these on me, mainly just to show off that I can." She handed it to Beth, pointing out the different details. "This is the church address, and underneath it is the reception hall. I cannot tell you how hard it was to try and decide where to hold the reception. Tom's mother decided that she wanted to have it at her house, but I told her absolutely not, because her house is entirely too small. She even managed to have Tom gang up on me, which was remarkable in itself, because he never…"

Beth managed to leave nearly a half hour later after hearing multiple stories about the bouquet ribbons, flower girl dresses, and band arrangements. Promising that she would meet up with Caitlin for lunch soon and assuring her that she would look for her when she arrived at work tomorrow, the two set off. Looking at her watch, Beth realized with a sudden disappointment that she no longer had time to grab something to eat if she wanted to reach her train on time. The thought to be upset about seeing Caitlin crossed her mind, but she immediately threw it off, determined to be happy about a friend than disappointed about a meal. The cereal at home would do.

Beth released a contented sigh when she finally arrived at the flat. She could not wait to sit down and breathe, anxiously awaiting the moment when she could finally take her heels off. The thought of sitting on a comfortable couch with her best friend right next to her was everything she needed, and she nearly cried of happiness when she finally reached the door. Turning her key, she opened the door.

Immediately, a wonderful blend of smells swirled around her. Beth instantly reacted as she recognized the scent of pesto, knowing that no matter what accompanied it, she would love it. The smell wafted around her like an expensive perfume, and Beth felt her stomach rumble in response.

"Beth's home," she heard Lily call from the kitchen. Seconds later, James was at the door, welcoming her back.

"How was work?" he asked, walking her towards the kitchen with one arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"It went really well." The smell continuously got stronger as they walked closer. Beth took in a deep breath. "They just had me filing papers today, but that's what I expected. I saw Caitlin Taylor today, too."

"At your work? Really?"

"Yeah, she works as an assistant to one of the higher ups. She says she loves it there, so that was good to hear. She invited me to her wedding, too." Beth wondered when it would be appropriate to stop the conversation altogether to ask if she could have some of the food.

"Oh, yes, I heard she was getting married. I also heard she doesn't forget to tell a single person she sees that she is," he joked, causing Beth to laugh in agreement.

They turned the corner to the kitchen where Lily was stirring a pot of risotto. Sirius was standing next to her, buttering pieces of toasted french bread. The scent was too much, and her stomach growled loudly again.

"Oh, good, you're hungry," Lily said, stopping a moment to hug her. "We made you a 'congratulations on your first day' dinner."

Beth looked at the array of food before her, touched by the thoughtfulness of it all. "You did all of this for me?"

"Don't count on this happening everyday," Sirius said, looking up from his task. "You're the working girl, so we're counting on you to deliver with a fancy lobster dinner quite soon."

"Oh, come off it," Lily said, nudging him to the side. "This was your idea."

Beth looked up at that, glancing towards Sirius. He had returned his focus to the bread, buttering it with a forced intensity. "Was it really?"

" _Seriously,_ " James replied, shoving Sirius into the counter before moving to wrap his arms around Lily's waist. "We'll finish up in here if you want to go wind down for a bit. It should be ready in what, ten minutes, Lil?"

"Closer to five, actually," Lily corrected, leaning into James' embrace as she stirred in the bowl of pesto she had prepared. "Oh I forgot, will one of you go get a chair for Beth? We only have three at the table."

"I got it," Sirius replied, wiping his hands off on a towel and going towards the entryway. He glanced down at Beth, who was standing only feet away, a large smile adorning her face. "Don't even think about it," he said, pointing a finger towards her.

Beth threw her hands up. "I didn't say anything."

"You were thinking."

"I was thinking about how hungry I am," she teased.

"You were about to thank me," he called over his shoulder as he went into a separate room to find a chair.

"You flatter yourself," Beth replied, walking into the room next to it to change. "Who says I was going to thank you?"

Sirius appeared only moments later in her doorway. "You're not going to thank me? How positively rude of you, Beth."

Beth laughed as she kicked off her heels, rummaging through a dresser to find a pair of sweatpants. "You just told me not to."

"Maybe I was testing you."

Beth eyed him. "Oh, really? Then tell me something. Why do I have a feeling that a simple 'thank you' wouldn't have been enough?"

"Well, I _did_ create a feast for you," he said, taking a step further into her room. "Perhaps a slightly more gratuitous response is in order?" He wagged his eyebrows.

Beth shoved him out, laughing. "You're incorrigible."

Sirius laughed with her, picking up the chair. "Can't say I didn't try," he replied before walking down the hallway.

Beth stood there for a moment, sweatpants in hand, gazing at the door. It was such a simple gesture, but she truly was appreciative of it. She knew for a fact that he would not have made the effort a week ago, and she was touched by how considerate it was. She raced towards the doorway before she could stop herself, calling out his name.

"Yeah?" he responded, turning one head over his shoulder.

"Thank you."

A smile met her gaze, one that was filled with genuine happiness, and she once again found herself entranced by his eyes. Unlike his reaction earlier, they sang of mirth and merriment, easily reflecting the smile he gave, and Beth found herself wondering how someone so obnoxiously marvelous could have felt so distraught by his own family that he felt the need to leave.

"You're welcome," he said, still smiling, before turning back towards the dining room.

* * *

A/N: Just to clarify, Beth has absolutely no idea about the wizarding world. Sure, she's going to get a little skeptical about Remus conveniently getting "sick" once a month, but the last thing she's going to think is, "Oh, I'll bet he's a werewolf!" The question of what's going on will be brought up, but nothing will be given away accidentally. The day they have Beth and the others have a conversation about their identities is completely planned out, so stick around to find out when that will be!

I just finished the chapter about Caitlin's wedding, and let me tell you, it's one of my favorites so far. I can't wait for you to read it!

Nimblescrivener, as always, thank you for all that you do.

Up next, Beth, Sirius, James, and Lily have dinner at James' parents' house!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

Sirius smirked, his eyes turning slowly to face Lily. "I know you like to think you know how to embarrass me, but you really don't."

Lily threw him a look of utter disbelief, raising an eyebrow slowly. "I can do it in one word. Don't test me."

"Oh, you think so, Red?" he taunted, leaning in to the table on his elbows.

Lily maintained her look and continued to stare at him. "Pineapples."

James' parents had invited James, Lily, Beth, and himself over for dinner to celebrate Beth's arrival. Sirius' adopted parents had insisted they all come over once Beth had been settled in to both James' flat and her internship, the intention being to hear about how her life was going since they last saw her. While dinner had been solely focused on Beth, however, the conversation of Beth's internship and family life had long been answered, and the focus was now on Sirius, much to his dismay.

Everyone laughed when he immediately backed away, cocking his head towards her. "You promised never to speak of that again."

"Well that was before you told me I didn't know how to embarrass you," Lily said, picking up her tea and taking a sip.

"I actually know about that too," James' mother added, causing Sirius to immediately turn his attention to her.

"How did you find out?" he asked incredulously.

"Honestly, Sirius," Lily said, his head immediately turning to face hers. "You think that I wouldn't tell my future mother-in-law anything I could to win her over?"

"Okay, I'm curious now," Beth admitted, leaning in towards the table. "What happened with a pineapple?"

"I'll tell you when we get back home," James said quietly.

Sirius whipped towards James immediately. "You know too?!"

"Are you kidding? Lily told me the second she left the room."

"You traitor!" Sirius said accusingly. Lily only responded by taking another sip of her tea, the look on her face screaming success.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Beth looked him over, squinting her eyes. "I think I should know since everyone else does."

"I don't know about it," James' father declared.

"Yes you do, I told you about it," James' mother assured him. "Remember when Lily came in and found Sirius practicing his pick-up lines on a pineapple?"

Sirius groaned and dropped his head in his hands as the people around him laughed. He felt his face begin to redden ever so slightly, but was instantly struck by how joyful and free the sound of Beth's laugh was. He had heard it before, of course, but it had never sounded so pure and genuine.

That would be dangerous for him too if he didn't watch out.

Three days ago, when he had convinced Lily and James to throw a dinner party for the first day of her internship, he realized that her ambition, passion, and motivation was dangerous to him, or rather the way she expressed it all. She had sounded so overjoyed at the prospect of working in her field, and he was mesmerized by the passion oozing from her voice. He didn't know exactly what she was doing or what she was really even studying (nor did he honestly truly care), but she had exhibited such a strong desire to continue in her field that he found himself listening intently, anxiously awaiting to hear the next wonderful thing she had to say about it. For the first time since she had arrived, he found himself in awe of her, too struck by her passion to taunt or tease her in anyway.

It was also revealed yesterday that her tears were dangerous to him.

He had just come in to James' flat when he saw her. It was late at night when he came and his visit was unexpected, only occurring after his quiet flat had been overcome by the voices of his parents in his mind. Without a moment's hesitation, he had apparated to the spot just outside James' house, throwing the door open almost immediately. She had been laying on the couch, her knees tucked to her chest and tears streaming down her cheeks when he came in. The second she saw him, she had quickly sat up and swiped at her cheeks.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, not looking at his face.

"Are you okay?" He hadn't even tried to mask the worry in his voice as he stared at the girl in front of him.

"I'm fine," she had said curtly, moving to stand up. She still didn't look his way. "What are you doing here?"

His mind had searched for anything but the truth he could give as an excuse to satisfy her, desperate to find out what was wrong. "A place down the street was throwing a party and I couldn't sleep," he had finally settled on, breathing out a quiet sigh of relief when she didn't question it.

Beth had turned away from him, obviously aiming to go down the hall. "Well, you know where the spare bed is at." She had thrown her head back over her shoulder, but her gaze still did not make it to his face. "Goodnight."

"Beth, wait," he had said, racing towards her before she made it to her room. She had stopped, but still kept her eyes down. He had met her where she was at, moving to stand in front of her.

"Sirius, I can't right now," she had whispered, the despair evident in her voice. His heart had broke at the sound of defeat, knowing all too well that it was genuine too. "Please let me go."

Without even considering the repercussions of his actions, Sirius had reached down and swiped her tears away, desperate to help her in some way. She had lifted her head slightly in response, and even in the dim light he could see the brokenness in her eyes. Keeping his hand on her cheek, he had grazed it softly, hoping that she was seeing it as an attempt to comfort and not to humiliate or pursue. His resolve had shattered at the look in her eyes, and immediately he had set out to find a way to bring the smile, _her_ smile, back.

"Let me help you," he had said, knowing she would take it as an offer and not a command. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong, and I'll decide whether you need to keep crying or start laughing."

Beth had let out a shaky smile, but it hadn't quite reached her eyes. She had shook her head slightly, saying, "It's really dumb, nothing to be making a huge fuss over. I don't even know why I'm crying."

"I'll be the judge of that," he had replied. "If it's enough to make you cry, then it's enough for me to worry about. Come on," he had said, motioning over to the couch. "Let's go sit down."

Beth hadn't spent an unnecessary amount of time declaring she was fine, instead taking a moment to collect herself before she spoke. Sirius had listened just as intently as he had during dinner two nights before, this time being sure to focus on her instead of being mesmerized by the way she was speaking. He had realized almost instantaneously that the passion and ambition he had become fond of in her voice a couple of days ago was no longer present, even as she began to talk about the internship she loved so much. After she had explained that she had filed a group of papers incorrectly and had cost the company precious time, she had let her eyes meet his. He had taken in her gaze and watched her, determined to take the hurt away from her face.

"They weren't happy when they found out. I've never felt so humiliated in my life," she had admitted, letting out an uneasy laugh. "I don't know if they're going to let me keep working there."

"You're only three days into this, Beth," he had reminded her, maintaining their eye contact. "They don't expect you to know how to do everything perfectly. My guess is that they'll have someone come and walk you through what to do tomorrow without even a second thought. You'll be back to impressing the pants off of them in no time." Beth had nodded, though he could see she didn't really believe what he had said. He had watched her slowly bring her eyes away from his before he had added, "And if for some reason they're still mad, James and I will go and egg the building."

Beth had looked back up at him and let out a small and uncertain laugh, though the uneasiness was definitely gone. "I'll keep that in mind," she had replied, a smile remaining once the laugh had been chased away. "Thank you, Sirius. I really didn't want to go to bed crying."

He brought his head up out of his hands and watched Beth laugh at the pineapple story. It was so different from the one he had heard last night, torn and broken but carrying a smidgen of relief. This laugh, this one full of genuine and pure happiness, was the one he wanted to hear from her. Oh yes, it was definitely dangerous to him. He decided then that he would do anything to keep that laugh in her spirit.

When the laughter began to die down, Sirius said, "Hey, if you're going to be telling embarrassing stories about me, then you'd better make sure you're telling some about James too."

"Oh, come off it," James said, but his voice was tinged with worry.

"You come off it," Sirius replied. "Between your parents, your fiancée, your best friend, and a girl who's known you your entire life, I'm sure we could create some damage to your self-esteem."

"You going to let this happen?" James asked Lily, expecting her to cover for him.

"Are you kidding? I've got six year's worth of you trying to ask me out to talk about," Lily smiled evilly, raising her eyebrows.

"I was eleven—" he began, but Lily cut him off.

"One time, he tried to write it out in this huge display and he spelt my name wrong."

"I remember that one," Sirius said, leaning over to whisper to Beth. Beth flashed him a smile, looking as if she was about to ask him more, when James' father spoke.

"You spelt her name wrong?" he repeated.

"I didn't mean to!" James defended himself.

James' father looked at Lily, a confused expression coming over his face. "And you still agreed to marry him?"

"Sir, I ask myself why I said yes everyday," she replied, throwing a wink at her fiancé's befuddled face.

"Lily, do you remember that time he wrote an entire song for you and sang it in the middle of the breakfast table?" Sirius asked, enjoying the focus being on his friend rather than him.

"Yes!" She laughed, clapping her hands together. "I came in and immediately turned back around the second he started. Then," still laughing, she turned to James, "you started calling after me so you could finish and forgot you were on the table and tripped into the oatmeal."

"I didn't hear that you tripped into oatmeal," James' mother said, joining in on the laughter.

"Yeah, mum, there was a reason for that," James retorted, his face turning red.

"Wait a second," Beth added, pointing towards James. "Was that the song that you asked for my help on?"

"You asked for her help?" Lily screamed, throwing her head back and laughing even harder. "Beth, please tell me there was a first draft to that. I want it performed at the wedding."

Beth nodded. "Oh yes, I kept every single letter for just an occasion. You have your own file and everything, Lily."

James' jaw dropped. "You kept all of those?"

"Well, yes, for sentimental reasons," Beth explained before smiling mischievously. "But also because I anticipated a situation just like this."

"I'm curious now," James' mother interrupted, placing a hand on Lily's. "After all that nonsense he did, all of the times he messed up, what was it that suddenly changed your mind about him?"

Lily looked at James, taking in his beet red face. She lifted her free hand to his cheek and smiled, trying to ease his frustration. It worked wonders, and Sirius watched as James' face slowly returned to a normal color at her proximity. "I'm not really sure," she replied, still looking towards him. "It all just kind of clicked one day. I think one day I was talking to you," she said, shifting her gaze towards Sirius, "and you made an offhanded comment about how I seemed a little more sad since he stopped asking me out, as if I was waiting for it to happen again. I think whenever you pointed that out it all came together."

Sirius gave her a friendly smile before turning towards James. "Told you I was responsible for it all."

"Well, if you're responsible for this," James began, putting his arm around Lily's shoulders, "then I'm forever in your debt."

"Oh, that's really sweet," James' mother added, _aww-_ ing ever so slightly when James leaned in to peck her on the lips. Sirius caught a glance of Beth from the corner of his eye, frowning slightly when he saw a sad smile cross her face. He wasn't sure what to make of that, but gently tapped his foot against hers. When she looked over at him, he winked, which granted him a real smile in return.

 _Godric, that smile_.

As he returned his gaze back towards the couple, Beth moved her chair back up to the table. He couldn't tell for sure, but he thought for a second that she might have moved it slightly closer to his.

"Beth, did you ever take a fancy towards James?"

James was immediately broken out of his trance with Lily and faced his mother. "Mum!" he yelled accusingly as Beth giggled.

"It's a real question," his mother insisted. "Your father and I have thought so for years, now we can finally get a real answer."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you," Beth said, still giggling. "But absolutely not."

James turned towards his friend, his face suddenly distraught. "Wait, you never fancied me?"

Beth gave him an incredulous look. "Did you fancy me?"

"Only for about seven years, you dolt."

Beth covered her face with her hands and shook with laughter. _There's that genuine and pure laughter again_ , Sirius thought, and suddenly found himself jealous that James could elicit it out of her so easily.

The realization hit him harder than he would have imagined. He was jealous? Why was he jealous? She had literally just admitted that she harbored no feelings for James, and James was obviously infatuated with Lily. There was no reason for him to be jealous, especially when he had received that laugh before. _But he did it so easily_ , he repeated to himself. _How did he manage to do it so easily?_

His thoughts were distracted when Beth finally looked back up. "My parents always thought you did, but I always told them no. I thought we were friends!"

"We were friends, I just was also convinced we were going to be married."

"Oi!" Lily lightly smacked his arm.

James looked at Lily, rolling his eyes. "Oh, come off it, Evans, you're the one that got the ring."

"You liked me?" Beth repeated, still laughing.

"Of course he did, dear," James' father intercepted. "Why do you think he wanted to follow you to the states so badly?"

"Oh, James," Beth said, breathing out another laugh. "I'm sorry, but you really are not my type."

Sirius shifted his whole body towards her, resting an elbow on the table. The statement sparked an unusual amount of interest in him. Still, he had to figure out how James got her to laugh that easily, no matter what it took or how far of a hole he dug himself in. "A devilishly handsome and hysterical playboy of a man isn't your type?" he teased, nudging her foot with his again slightly.

"Thanks, babe," James said mockingly. Sirius blew him a kiss and returned his gaze back towards Beth.

Beth raised her eyebrow at the contact between their feet but didn't look away from him, something Sirius found himself greatly appreciating. "I prefer guys who a) aren't in love with another person and b) can admit that the person they're in love with is," and here, she did a dramatic turn of the head towards James, "Sirius, not Lily."

James' parents and Lily immediately laughed, nodding their heads in agreement. "That's one of the biggest reasons I kept telling you no," Lily said, causing Sirius to simply apply a smug face.

He was about to join in on James' parents comments on Beth's statement when he felt a foot gently nudge his back. He immediately turned his head towards Beth, expecting her to meet him with a roll of her eyes or a sarcastic look. Instead, she faced forward, acting oblivious to the fact that she touched him at all, though he could see a slight tinge of pink entering her cheeks.

Sirius sucked in a breath and added a few offhanded comments to the taunts being made before copying Beth's movement earlier and moving his chair up. He didn't even try to cover the fact that he had moved his chair closer to hers, simply made the move and returned his foot, waiting to see what she would do. He was soon rewarded with another gentle touch, this one stroking his foot ever so slightly before moving away.

 _Interesting._

"So what kind of guys do you prefer?" Lily asked, breaking him out of his trance. Their feet were still teasing each other, but stopped after the question was asked.

"Well," Beth said, leaning onto the table. "I haven't dated the best people. I've only dated two guys seriously—I swear, if you make any comment about your name being Sirius, I will punch you." Sirius threw his hands up in defeat, surrendering to her will almost too easily. Beth continued, "Anyway, the first guy I was with was great until I found out that he had cheated on me. The second guy thought I was amazing, but also thought my best friend at the time was equally as amazing, and now they are engaged. So," Beth paused a moment, causing Sirius to go back to nudging her foot. She gave him a quick smile before finishing, "ideally someone who doesn't cheat on me."

"I'm so sorry to hear that," James' mother said apologetically.

"Don't be," Beth said, and Sirius found himself admiring the confidence that came from that statement. "I learned so much from both of them, even if it was just that I needed to raise my standards. They're both happy though, and the part of me that still cares about them is happy for them."

Sirius smiled to himself at her declaration, soaking it in as her foot circled around his foot, now staying on it definitively rather than teasing it and moving away. He let her take initiative for a while before he regained control, adamant to win this little war they had going and doing everything he could to not think about the intimacy behind their secret movements. As he brushed his foot against hers and slowly up her ankle, he silently thanked Merlin that James couldn't see what they were doing.

"So what are you looking for in a guy?" James' mother pressed.

Beth giggled. "Have someone in mind, Mrs. Potter?"

Sirius found himself holding his breath.

"I'm just curious," she replied, giving Lily a little wave of her eyebrows. "I happen to know of a couple of single men. Maybe they'll fit your description."

Beth chuckled nervously, though Sirius honestly believed part of that came from the way his foot was starting to make its way slightly up her calf. "What am I looking for in a guy?" she asked herself, taking a moment to consider her answer.

The table was silent as she pondered, only broken when she finally said, "I need someone who can tell when I need to laugh and when I need to cry."

Sirius immediately stopped his movement as the table digested this answer. They all were replying the same thing, "How insightful," "That's actually a really good definition," and so on, but Sirius _knew_.

Was that a declaration? Did she fancy him? She was certainly doing a good job taking over the control of the little game their feet were playing, and the ministrations were definitely enticing enough. But to directly pinpoint the moment they had last night? What did that mean?

Sirius stole a glance at her when James' parents began to talk about the first time they met, trying to telepathically ask her what that statement meant. She met his gaze and raised her eyebrows, using his signature move back at him and winking.

Not to be outdone, Sirius decided to up the ante and reached out for the hand resting on her leg under the table. He held his breath as he watched her process what he did, praying that she wouldn't acknowledge it to the group, but also praying that she would acknowledge it in some way.

Chancing it, he mimicked the movements his foot was making only seconds ago and began slowly circling his thumb around her hand, making sure to keep his focus ahead so as to not distract the rest of the table of their actions. He listened as James' mother told the story of how her and his father met, trying to stay interested, but his mind remained on Beth. She had yet to respond, hardly even acknowledging that anything was going on at all.

Just when he had begun to lose hope, Sirius felt her hand slowly begin to copy his ministrations, gently squeezing his hand once to assure him.

He couldn't help it. Sirius immediately turned his head to look at her, his face undoubtedly confused and curious as to what was happening. She returned his look, though hers had more of a "you started it" expression. She turned his hand over and began to draw her fingers over the palm of his hand, startling him completely. If James saw that he was playing footsie and holding hands with one of his best friends, he'd kill him. The thought made it all the more enticing, and he began playing with her fingers.

 _Oh, Sirius,_ he thought. _Just what are you getting yourself into?_

"I think we should set Beth up with Remus," Lily declared, breaking the pair out of their trance.

"Oh, Remus would be wonderful!" James' mother agreed. "And he's such a great boy, you'd never think that he didn't care about you. What do you think, James?"

He shrugged his shoulders, casting a look towards Beth. "Would you want to be set up with Remus?"

Sirius desperately wanted to raise their joined hands and announce that _this_ was the relationship that should be set up, but he didn't know how to even begin to acknowledge it. He pictured Remus and Beth together, deciding he did not like the thought at all. Lily was right in wanting to set her up with him. Remus was the perfect guy to bring home, though he didn't spend much time focusing on relationships due to his condition. Beth, however, was completely oblivious to the whole other side of the world, and proper arrangements could be made to disguise Remus' lycanthropy. It would be a wonderful summer fling for him, and would more than likely help rebuild his confidence. The two would be excellent together, having the same interests and both being of high intelligence. They would have arduous conversations and polite arguments and discuss how to better the world, and Sirius would be left standing to the side remembering the time he once held Beth's hand.

When had he begun to fancy this girl? When did he become jealous of James' ability to make her laugh and Remus' ability to be such a gentleman? When did any of this begin to matter? Why was he so captivated by her? Why was a muggle so enticing? Why was his hand wrapped around hers so tightly? Why did all of these feelings have to come up now? Why did Beth have to come visit?

Why was he finding it so hard to breathe around her?

Casting everything aside, all Sirius found that he could do was watch as Beth pondered the idea, catching his breath for what felt like the hundredth time that night as he waited for what she would say and do. Her decision would dictate how he would move on from this moment, from tonight.

"I don't know," she finally responded. "Based on what you've told me about him, I think he'll be absolutely wonderful, but I also think we'll end up being better off as friends." Beth squeezed his hand again under the table, moving to lace their fingers together before she added, "Maybe there's someone else out there for me."

As Lily and James moved on to a different topic with his father, Sirius had only one thought:

 _Oh, Godric, am I screwed._

* * *

A/N: The first time I held hands with someone, it was all I thought about for _weeks_. I can still remember the exact moments I held other people's hands too (although I still have no idea where I can put "remembers when I first held hands with each person I have ever held hands with" on a résumé), so I thought that such a "monumental" milestone should get it's own chapter. Anyone else remember their first time? *sigh*

Nimblescrivener (DEAR LORD, best beta ever) just approved a chapter that I am hype and a half for, so remember this little author's note when Chapter 9 comes around!

Up next, Sirius and Beth have a conversation about the events at dinner.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

Beth could not fall asleep, and she knew the exact reason why.

She looked over at the clock, groaning when she saw the time. Beth had told James she was tired and going to sleep two and a half hours ago. Now, here she was, over one hundred pages in to the employee handbook she'd been given on her first day, bored out of her mind, and still watching the numbers tick by.

Shutting the book harshly, she thought back to the seven cups of coffee she'd had today, promising her future self that it would never happen again. It had been a remarkably easier day than the past four had been, especially after her filing fiasco on Wednesday. Just as it had been suggested, someone had come in and worked with her closely, helping her discover what she was doing wrong and ensuring Beth that all she had to do was ask for help. The relief at the statement had nearly brought her to tears, and she had promised she would work hard to make sure the situation never happened again.

"I was so worried I was going to get fired," she had confessed.

The girl helping her had laughed. "Are you kidding? You're doing an arduous amount of work for this company and getting paid in experience. They're not going to fire free labor."

Beth still wasn't entirely sure how to take that statement, but she let the assurance that the possibility of her being fired was slim be her main focus. She had come in to work this morning with that statement as her mantra, picking up a cup of coffee before heading to her desk. _I'll just drink one_ , she had thought, using the extended visit at the Potter's the night before as her reasoning.

And then she'd had six more.

Throwing her employee handbook to the side, she heaved the blankets off of her and walked towards the kitchen, deciding she'd have a cup of tea before attempting to go back to sleep. She didn't know how much it would help though, because as much as she tried to deny it, it wasn't the coffee keeping her up.

Bringing her thoughts away from _that_ , she thought of the wedding she was attending tomorrow. Caitlin's cousin had called her right before she'd left for dinner with the Potter's, telling her how excited he was to meet her and thanking her for agreeing to go with him. He'd sounded nice enough over the phone, asking her about her day and her visit with James before they'd decided where and when to meet. To steer clear of any awkward conversations that she honestly didn't want to be a part of, she'd assured him that she would take the tube over rather than having him pick her up. He'd seemed relieved at her idea, only politely arguing that he could pick her up once before agreeing to her decision.

"If we go separately, both of us can leave whenever we want to," she'd explained, remembering that he had just come out of a relationship. Attempting to make him feel better, she'd finished with, "I probably won't know anyone but Caitlin there, so I might just stay around until the dancing starts."

"I was thinking of doing the same thing," he'd replied. "I already don't feel up to staying for a long time."

Setting the tea onto the stove, she moved to stand by the counter, staring at the wall ahead of her. She really hoped he didn't try to make a move on her. She wasn't sure she had the willpower to deal with a recently dumped guy _and_ —

"I thought I'd heard the tell-tale signs of tea."

Beth jumped violently, staring at the very person she'd been trying so hard to forget. "Are you ever not here?"

Sirius smirked, coming into the kitchen with an unnecessary swagger. "Got a problem with that?" he teased, reaching for two tea cups.

"Don't you have your own place?" she asked, choosing not to fight him on his assuming he could join in on the tea she'd made _especially_ for herself.

"Well of course I do," he replied, throwing her a wink. "But there's an astonishing lack of single ladies there."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, marveling at how the very person she'd been trying to stop thinking of just happened to be awake and _here_. This had to be karma for her actions at dinner last night.

She wasn't sure what had possessed her to join in on all of Sirius' ministrations. In any other situation, she would have thrown the guy a nasty look and forced him to stop. Heck, if it had been even two days earlier, she probably would have done the same thing to Sirius himself. It was incredibly forward, something she typically didn't like in a guy, and nothing would have given her more pleasure than to completely shoot him down.

And yet, she hadn't. Quite the opposite in fact. She could still feel her hand tingling from the small circles his thumb had made and was still trying to ignore how perfectly her hand had fit into his. She had been amazed at how strong yet soft his hands were, finding it incredibly too easy to trace her fingers over it. They had remained that way the entire night, and she had missed the feeling of his hand on hers the second they had parted ways. The rest of the night, she had traced her own fingers over her hand, trying to recreate the way it felt. She couldn't do it justice, however, and had went to sleep with the determination to forget what had happened and move on.

And yet, she hadn't, for here she was, standing in front of the person she had had to drag her thoughts away from all morning, finding them all come back with an intensity that had yet to be matched in her life.

"What are you doing up?" Sirius asked, bringing her thoughts away from him and back to, well, him.

"I drank seven cups of coffee," she said, telling him the same lie she had been telling herself all night. "What about you?"

"I'm always up late," he told her, moving to lean in slightly closer. "Nighttime activities are my speciality."

"Oh, okay." Beth walked over to the fridge to get some milk out. "That's why you're in your best friend's house having tea, right?"

Sirius reached up into the cabinet for some sugar, chuckling at her response. "At least I'm not using coffee as the reason for staying up."

Beth quickly turned her head to meet his gaze, her confused face meeting his smug. "What's that supposed to mean?" she questioned, suddenly wondering if he was up for the same reason she was.

Sirius shrugged and faced away from her, reaching for the tin of biscuits. "You choose," he said. "I'm sure whatever conclusion you come to is probably one I'd agree with."

Beth found herself more confused than before. "I think it means that I lied before." Sirius stopped moving, immediately locking his eyes back onto hers. She wasn't sure what emotion she saw flash through his eyes, but something certainly did. Deciding it was too late to test the waters, she replied, "I drank _eight_ cups."

Sirius kept his focus on her, however, and once again she found herself absolutely captivated by his eyes. She'd begun to notice that whenever he was intently staring at something, the color would slowly darken and he would squint ever so slightly. She stared back at him, wondering if he could read her thoughts. The look was so focused that she didn't think she would be surprised if he suddenly announced that he could. She wondered which thought he would be the most startled by, that she was thinking so intently about his eyes or that he was the reason she was finding it so difficult to fall asleep.

"Well then," he finally said when the teapot began to whistle. "Let's hope this tea works."

They each made their tea to their liking in silence, moving around each other easily. Beth couldn't help but think about how domestic this all felt, as if they had been doing this all their lives. The notion of it coming so easily surprised her, but she kept this observation to herself. She could only imagine the different responses Sirius would have to it, suddenly imagining him proposing marriage with the idea of, _"Well, we're already making tea together. We might as well."_

She wasn't sure how she'd respond.

"You have a wedding to go to tomorrow, don't you?" Sirius said, trying to fill the silence.

"Yeah, my friend Caitlin's," she replied, bringing her tea and biscuits over to the table in the dining room. "Worried you won't get to see me?"

"Oh, absolutely heartbroken," he mocked, following her to the opposite side of the table. "Are you going with anyone?"

Noticing he didn't look up at her when he asked, she nodded before continuing, "Yeah, her cousin. He's positively dreamy."

That got him to look up at her, and she threw a wink at him for good measure. _Good grief, who winks this much?_ she thought to herself, embarrassment immediately settling in. She prayed it wasn't too obvious on her cheeks and took a sip of her tea, hoping it at least masked it.

"Speaking of weddings," she said, trying to turn the focus away from her. "Are you nervous about James and Lily's?"

He shook his quickly, almost out of instinct. "No," he said, just as quickly. "Why would I be?"

Beth shrugged. "I don't know. You've all been really close for so long. Does it feel weird knowing that it might change?"

Sirius took in what she said, taking a gulp of his tea while thinking. "I don't think it will," he finally replied, giving her a definite look.

Beth smiled softly, realizing she had reached a tender spot. "I really hope it doesn't."

"You've remained friends with him all this time," he noted, looking down at his tea. "Did you ever feel like you weren't as close after he met all of us?"

Beth took in his words, remembering the day that she had hugged James goodbye all those years ago. Was that how he felt? "I think it's different for me," she said, realizing she'd have to choose her words carefully so as to not worry him. "I was moving completely away. We both knew we wanted to remain friends, but we also both knew that we were going to make others. We had our memories to hold on to, but we also had so many more to make. He met you guys, and I kept on moving. I have friends everywhere that I try to keep in contact with, but he has _always_ had you. You've been with him through so much more than I have, and so much more than I ever will. You're not going to lose him," she promised. "You're too important to him."

Sirius nodded to himself, taking in her words. "I guess I did move in with his family," he finally said, a smile creeping onto his face.

"Yeah, that might be a slight indication that everything will be fine," Beth teased, feeling victorious when his smile got larger. "But where will you live once they get married?"

"Oh, I've already made James promise that there will be at least two extra rooms in the house they get."

"What did Lily say to that?"

He shook his head. "It's easier to just get James to agree and then convince him to talk to Lily about it."

Beth laughed, then immediately brought her voice down. She'd forgotten James was still asleep, and knew that waking him up wouldn't be good. "Does it ever work?"

Sirius took note of her hushed voice and copied her whisper. "No, usually he has to get Remus to talk to her for him."

Beth laughed again, then reached for her cup. "When do I get to meet Remus?" she pressed, taking a sip of her drink.

"You haven't met him yet?"

She shook her head. "No, and I'd preferably like to meet him before James and Lily marry me off to him."

"I thought you didn't fancy him?" Sirius said, reaching for a biscuit.

"Well I haven't met him yet," she repeated, not trying to hide her sarcasm. "Think he'll be the one for me?"

"No," Sirius said, swallowing his bite. "I think you're more on track with you not liking him."

"Oh, you think so?"

"I know so."

Beth thought to herself quickly about how to play this conversation, unsure where it was going to go or where she wanted it to go. "I don't know, everything I've heard about him sounds pretty close to what I'm looking for."

Sirius leaned into the table, and Beth watched as his eyes did _it_ again, squinting slightly and slowly growing into a darker shade. "You think Remus will know when you need to cry and when you need to laugh?"

Beth picked up her tea and took a sip. "I think you got lucky with that one."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Lucky enough that I got you to hold my hand?"

Beth stopped moving for a second, stealing a glance at the person in front of her. His look was questioning and curious, and she could tell he had no idea how she was going to respond. She picked up her spoon and began stirring her drink idly. "Maybe I was just saying thank you."

Sirius nodded slowly, the questioning look slowly fading into a somber one. "It was fairly intimate for a thank you."

"I held your hand," she said, rolling her eyes. "I didn't steal your virginity."

"You don't think hand holding is intimate?"

Beth laughed. "I hold hands with my little brother and my elderly grandmother," she said. "Do you think that's intimate?"

"Do I think that something you've reserved solely for dear members of your family applies as intimate when it's used on me?" Sirius smirked, and before she knew it, his hand was holding hers. "You tell me, Beth."

Beth looked down and stared at the their intertwined fingers, feeling her heart rate quicken ever so slightly at the sight. She compared it to the sensation she felt when they had done this in secrecy the night before, deciding that seeing it out in the open like this was much more intimate than she could have realized. _Dang it,_ she thought. _He's right._ She stole a look at Sirius' face, whose smirk had been replaced with a look of interest, and Beth knew he was waiting for her to comment on what was going on. Taking a breath, she took another look at their hands and, as she slowly began to mimic her movements of the night before, said quietly, "Maybe I just see you as a brother."

Sirius pulled his hand away, confusion crossing his face. "Do you?"

"Maybe," Beth whispered, looking down at her tea. Her voice sounded weak, as if it truly was unsure, and Beth knew he could pick up on it when he asked his next question.

"But you don't know for a fact?"

Beth sighed and looked back up at him, refusing to back down. "I know that I am here to see one of my closest friends get married and to complete my internship. As far as I'm concerned, those are the only things that matters. I don't really have time for anything else."

Sirius took this in, nodding his head slightly at her revelation. "But," he said, facing her directly again, "you said _maybe_."

Beth finished the last of her tea, making a show of it being done. "Maybe," she repeated, standing up to take her cup to the sink.

Sirius quickly stood up and reached out for her arm before she could pass by, gently stopping her. The sudden proximity to him made her nervous, though more out of anticipation than uncomfortableness. Not one to back down, she stared up at him, defiantly matching his intense gaze in an attempt to sway him.

It didn't work.

"A maybe is all I need," Sirius said quietly, and Beth felt her heart rate quicken as she felt his breath tickle her face. They stayed there for a moment, both seemingly daring the other to make a move. All too soon though, he let her go, and Beth quickly scurried to the kitchen all the thoughts of him that she'd been trying to forget, to omit, to ignore, suddenly coming back.

What exactly was going on?

She'd be lying to herself if she said she didn't find herself attracted to him. That, she felt like, was a given. He was extremely handsome with his long locks and broad build, and he held the "bad boy" persona so well that she wouldn't be surprised if he had invented it himself. She'd spent the last several nights going through every minute detail about their interactions together, giggling over certain ones and finding her breath taken away at others. However, while she was attracted to him and could admit that, she still wasn't sure how she generally _felt_ about him. There was a huge difference between finding someone good-looking and finding their character just as pleasing. A little over a week ago, she had been fighting and arguing with him over nearly anything, unafraid to make him stand down. Now, he was suddenly kind and caring and interested in everything she did, and the thought of such a sudden change concerned her. Lily had said that Sirius was wonderful once you got to know him, but she had also said it had taken her nearly five years to reach that level with him. Why would she, a person who would only be around for a couple of months, have more success at winning him over than a person who had been around him for years?

Shaking her thoughts away, she quickly washed and dried the teacup before setting it back in it's place. She still wasn't tired, she realized with a groan, but the wedding tomorrow wouldn't begin until later. She sighed as she resigned herself to reading her employee handbook until she fell asleep and went to return to her room.

"Goodnight," she said over her shoulder, doing everything she could not to turn and look at him.

"Wait, Beth," Sirius called. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and took in another breath before turning around, directly facing him.

"Yes?"

"You'll meet Remus soon," he promised, giving her a forced smile that Beth realized had no intention of being masked. Any tension that had been between them moments ago was gone, and she couldn't help but notice that his demeanor had changed from confident to resigned. "He's sick right now, which is why you haven't met him yet, but he'll be back around in a couple of days. I do believe he'll be quite taken with you."

Beth steeled her face, willing herself not to give in to the emotions crowding her mind, but her perplexed feelings found their way through. _He's basically told me he fancies me,_ she relayed to herself, _and yet he advocates for Remus._ Did everyone truly believe that she would be so enraptured by this person that she would forget how enticing, how mysterious, how alluring Sirius was?

The thought startled her, and suddenly, her mind was made up on what she would do about him. Giving him one last look, she replied, "Out of the choices I have, I think you know which one I'd prefer to be taken with me."

Throwing him a wink for good measure, Beth returned to her room, only realizing after she had gotten back in her bed that she had yet to breathe.

* * *

A/N: I'd like to take a moment to let you know that this chapter, not including the author's note, is exactly 3,333 words long. How beautiful can life be?

To all of you who are reading, favoriting, following, and reviewing this story, I cannot thank you enough. You mean everything to me. I wish I could hug each and every one of you (especially you, nimblescrivener. Have I mentioned you're the best beta ever?).

To everyone who is starting school soon or has already started, good luck! Keep that head held high and never stop striving for success. I believe in you!

To Sirius and Beth, JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY.

Up next, Beth has a slight change of plans regarding Caitlin's wedding. Think you can guess what will happen?


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7.

"You didn't talk for an entire month?" Beth asked, flabbergasted at the idea.

Sirius shrugged. "We wanted to prove that we could."

She laughed, picking up another piece of her hair and twirling it around the iron. "What did your teachers say?"

"They honestly didn't question it that much." Bringing up a leg to rest his arm across, he continued, "I think they were all too happy to say anything."

"How did _you_ manage to stay quiet all that time?"

Sirius mockingly placed a hand on his chest. "You wound me, Beth. You don't have an ounce of faith in me at all, do you?"

Beth let the piece of hair go, sectioning out another strand. "Considering I woke up this morning to you singing 'Mr. Blue Sky' at the top of your lungs, no."

Sirius let out a chuckle, nodding his head slightly. "You're right, you're right. However, if you must know, it was actually Peter who had the hardest time staying quiet."

"Oh, yeah?"

"He was rubbish at it," Sirius replied. Cocking his head to the side, he pondered aloud, "Though, to be honest, we weren't entirely fair to him when we decided to do it."

"How so?" Beth asked, letting another strand go.

Sirius chuckled again, gazing off slightly to recollect the memory. "He'd just told us all that he was interested in this girl and had all of these plans in place for how he was going to woo her. Two days later, we all stopped talking."

Beth laughed out loud, turning her head to face Sirius. "That's horrible!" she cried.

"Yeah, we really should have taken that into consideration before we decided to do it. He hasn't expressed interest in anyone since."

An hour earlier, Beth had walked into the bathroom to find Sirius staring at the mirror, fluffing his hair every which way ("I can't have your hair looking better than mine, Beth"). She'd felt her heart skip a beat at the sight of him, though more out of embarrassment and anticipation than attraction.

The conversation they'd had last night had been the second thing she thought of when she woke up (the first had been trying to pick out what song he was screaming). The tea, the tense stares, the way her breath had caught, the last thing she said to him, everything came rushing back with a vengeance. How she was supposed to act around him now, she had no idea. With a loud groan, she'd rolled onto her stomach, clutching the pillow to her face, desperately trying to figure out a plan to avoid him.

She'd been pleasantly surprised, then, when he was nowhere to be found once she finally found the nerve to get out of bed. James was also gone, leaving a note to tell her they were running errands. Breathing out a sigh of relief, she'd spent the next couple of hours doing everything she could to forget everything that had happened, trying to keep her focus on Caitlin's upcoming wedding. The event was still four hours away, she needed to do her makeup and hair and Sirius' eyes were staring at her intently, her breath was catching, his mouth _so close_ and—

NO.

 _Caitlin's wedding,_ she reminded herself. It was a three minute walk to the subway (four if her heels were factored in), four stops down, then she'd walk five minutes to the beautiful church with Caitlin's grey and purple colors decorating everything, and Sirius' eyes were grey, but when the sun caught them just right, there were flecks of blue in them and—

 _NO BETH, STOP._

And that had essentially been her entire morning.

She'd nearly screamed in exasperation when James came home, Sirius in tow behind him. Beth's eyes had immediately caught his, and he gave her a knowing smile that both infuriated and pleased her. She thought desperately back to the plan she'd created: _take a deep breath, ignore him, engage in polite conversation if he starts it, and leave before anything else can be said._ Already, she could see that he wouldn't allow that process to work. She knew with that one grin that he'd planned something too, and while she was sure his included being as close to her as possible, she wasn't sure how her response to it would be.

Which, come to think of it, explained why he was still sitting on the bathroom floor, entertaining her with stories of him and his group of friends. He'd allowed her full access to the mirror to ensure that she could get ready in time, but moved to a position where she could still see him through it. As he told the stories, Beth was forced to watch his face light up with remembrance, eagerly telling her one after the other. She liked the way he talked, she decided, and was entranced by the tales he told, uncaring of whether they were true or not. She'd always believed good storytelling was a gift, and as she listened to him weave together the right amount of dialogue with the right amount of action—once even standing on the toilet lid to demonstrate him standing on a desk—she realized that she was, indeed, attracted to this man.

She'd inwardly groaned at the realization. _This is going to create so much unnecessary drama in my life,_ she thought, doing everything she could to remind herself of her internship. _Focus on your job, focus on your job_.

Sirius' story of Peter attempting to win the girl back after their month of silence was suddenly halted by James' voice calling for her throughout the house.

"I'm in the bathroom with Sirius," she yelled back, curling another strand around the iron.

"Sirius is with you?" the muffled voice asked, slowly getting closer to where she was.

"Don't worry about it, Prongs," Sirius answered before she could respond. "I've only given her four hickeys, though I won't tell you where."

Beth rolled her eyes and tried to glare at Sirius, failing the minute he gave her a wink. James appeared in the doorway only seconds later, humor, though accompanied by slight concern, dancing in his eyes. "Yeah, right, like Beth would let herself anywhere near you."

Beth let the strand go and turned to face Sirius, crossing her arms around her and taking an exaggerated sigh. "I told you he wouldn't believe you if he couldn't see them. You'll have to put them in a more noticeable spot next time."

"Wait," James began, but Sirius interrupted him.

"You didn't like where I put them this time?" Sirius teased.

"Oh, that's right, I did," Beth said, pretending to contemplate a solution. "Maybe you'll just have to do more."

"Alright, alright, enough of this," James declared, eliciting a laugh from Sirius and herself. He raised his eyebrows quickly at her, a silent thank you for playing along passing between the two. "I promised your mum that you would return in one piece. Please don't make me break that promise."

"No promises," Sirius immediately retorted, and Beth was soon fighting back a laugh at the glare James gave to him.

"Anyway," James began after kicking Sirius in the leg for the suggestive look he threw to Beth. "When are you leaving for the wedding?"

 _The wedding_ , Beth remembered, and turned to finish curling her hair. "I have to leave by six," she said, picking up another section.

"You have to leave?" James asked, crossing his arms. "Your date isn't picking you up?"

"Oh, I meant to tell you about that," she said, switching her pose so she could see him through the mirror. "I'm not going with him anymore."

"You're not?" James asked.

"Why not?" she heard Sirius question behind her, not missing the slight tinge of happiness to his voice.

"He called while you two were gone," she explained, dropping the curl and picking up yet another one. "You know how he just broke up with his girlfriend?" At their nods, she continued, "She apparently called him and asked him to come wait at the hospital with her while her mom goes into surgery. He couldn't tell her no."

"He's definitely going to use this to try to get back together with her," James declared.

Beth laughed. "That's what I thought, too. I told him to go ahead, though. I'm not going to be mad at someone for being a good person."

"So you're not going with anyone now?" James asked as she picked up her final strand, twirling it around the iron.

"No, but that's fine with me," she promised. "I didn't plan on staying all that long anyway."

James took in her words, unmoving for a couple of moments. Finally, he said, "You know what? I'll take you."

Beth dropped the curl and immediately faced her friend, gratitude overwhelming anything and everything she felt at that moment. "James," she sighed happily, wrapping her arms around him. "You don't have to."

"I'd love to, are you kidding me?" he said, returning her hug. "I feel like I haven't seen you at all since you started your internship."

She pulled back, happily staring at her friend. "If you don't want to—"

"Nope," James cut her off, moving to head down the hallway. "I'll go get dressed, you finish up, and we'll be on our way."

"Wait, Prongs," Sirius suddenly yelled, standing up and moving closer to the doorway. Beth didn't hesitate to notice how close they were, and the image of him grabbing her arm last night made her heart jump again at the proximity. He didn't turn to face her, though, so she kept her eyes focused on the mirror, willing her heart to quit beating so quickly.

"You have that cake testing thing tonight," he said when James came back into view.

James squinted his eyes for a moment, pondering what Sirius had said. "Is that tonight?"

"Yes, remember when we saw Lily two hours ago and she said, 'Hey, James, don't forget we have our cake testing thing tonight'?" Beth laughed, daring to glance over at him, surprised that he was already looking at her.

"Bugger," James whispered under his breath, and Beth brought her attention back to him. "I forgot about cake testing." He checked his watch, gasping at the time. "And I have to leave in five minutes."

"James, I told you, I'll be fine." Beth gave him a reassuring smile, patting his arm softly. "You go have fun trying different cakes."

"I can ask Lily if we can move it," he offered, but Beth immediately shook her head.

"You can't just tell a bride to cancel something," she said laughing. "Chances are, she's probably had this planned for a while. I'll be fine, I promise."

"I still feel bad," he mumbled. Beth was about to go back into her speech about her being fine, but before she could begin, James suddenly said, "Oh, I know, why don't you go with Sirius?"

Beth quickly looked up at the person standing next to her, unsure of what she should say. On the one hand, she knew she would enjoy herself, certain that it would be an absolutely unforgettable night with him as her guest. On the other hand, she didn't know how they would respond to time alone together. While neither of them had mentioned the events that had transpired early this morning, she was sure that it would be mentioned tonight, and she would be lying to herself if she said she wanted to talk about it.

"I don't know," Beth said, shooting Sirius an apologetic glance. Taking in a breath at his slightly disappointed face, she asked, "Would you want to?"

"I don't have a problem with it," he shrugged, glancing towards James. "I don't have anything to wear to a wedding _here_ , though."

"You can wear my suit," James offered.

Sirius nodded for a moment before looking at James confused. "Will it fit?"

"We can make it fit," James cryptically said with a roll of his eyes, and while Sirius responded with an "oh, right," Beth gave them a confused look. Deciding not to dwell on it, she turned her focus towards Sirius.

"You won't know anyone there."

"I'll know you," he said, giving her a small smile. "Maybe I can apply those extra hickeys you mentioned."

Beth shoved him to the side, laughing, but James pointed at his friend. "You hurt her, I kill you."

"Oh, shove off, Prongs," Sirius replied. "You'd be stuck with Remus as your best man if you did that, and we both know that wouldn't work."

James let his words sink in before nodding his head once. Beth wanted to ask why it wouldn't, but she let the two alone. "Fine," James finally said, still pointing at him. "But I will punch you."

"Kinky," Sirius retorted, brushing past Beth to exit the bathroom.

She steeled herself as the two left for James' room to find a suit that would fit. She had to think quick about what she would do tonight. _This can't be romantic_ , she decided, hoping she'd be able to stick with it once the night came. _I'm going to follow his lead on how to act around each other, and if he tries anything, I'll go into a diatribe about my internship_. Work was always a good reason to not pursue something, right? "I can't do this, I'm married to my work." Wasn't that line used in nearly every movie she'd seen? She nodded her head decidedly. This was her plan. She was going to stick with this plan. This would be the plan to end all plans.

James came into the bathroom briefly, pressing a swift kiss to her cheek. "You'll have fun," he assured her, rushing for the door the second the contact was gone. "I'll be gone all tonight, but I'll be back tomorrow," he called.

"Alright," Beth called back, picking up her tube of mascara.

"Love you," James yelled as he opened the front door.

"Love you too," Beth replied, giggling and rolling her eyes when Sirius yelled it as well. There was the sound of a door thudding, and suddenly the house was quiet, only Sirius and herself remaining.

"So, Beth," a voice called down the hallway. "We're alone."

"Yeah?" she replied, moving closer to the mirror as she began the tedious task of applying the mascara.

"Want me to ravish you on every surface in the house?"

Beth stopped what she was doing and closed her eyes, exasperation filling her mind. _Stick with the plan_ , she reminded herself, opening her eyes again. "I'd rather you didn't."

"I understand," he said, and Beth noticed the voice was getting closer to the bathroom. "You want to see how our date goes first."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Beth turned her head towards the doorway, a smug grin resting on his face. She raised her eyebrows, staring him straight on. "This isn't a date."

"Yes it is," Sirius said, crossing his arms across his chest, the grin remaining in tact.

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"No," Beth said, putting more emphasis on the word. "It's not."

"Two people who are most certainly attracted to each other going to a wedding together?" Sirius nodded. "It's a date."

Beth bit her cheek, trying to keep herself from smiling, but it didn't work. "You wouldn't even be going to this if James wasn't busy," she retorted, copying his movements and crossing her arms. "Would it have been a date if he came?"

"No," he replied, shaking his head for emphasis. "But James is engaged. It's a completely different situation."

"Oh, is it?" Beth asked as mockingly as she could.

"Yes, because when you and I go, it will be considered a date."

"No, it won't," Beth laughed, hoping her argument sounded stronger than it actually was.

Sirius laughed with her, continuing, "The second we come in, everyone is going to ask, 'Oh, who's your date?' The best thing we can do is play along with it."

"Or," Beth countered, "We can say, 'Oh, this is my _friend_ , Sirius.'"

He shook his head and turned to walk back to James' room. "I like my idea better. It's a date."

Beth laughed to herself, moving to stand in front of the mirror. She looked at her reflection, trying hard to remember what she needed to put on next, but Sirius was singing in the background "I've got a daaa-ate, I've got a daaa-ate." She groaned quietly and put her head in her hands, desperately thinking, _Stick to the plan, stick to the plan_. She thought hard about her internship, about the opportunity she had, about how she could not spend an excessive amount of time with one boy while she was visiting another. She repeated it over and over, trying to soak it in to her mind, her soul, her body, everything.

Then, with a huff, she slammed her palms on the sink and walked towards James' room.

"Sirius," she called, pounding on the door loudly.

He opened the door a couple of seconds later, and Beth knew he was taking in her startled look at seeing him shirtless. Knowing he did it on purpose, Beth willed herself to look up, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing her flustered.

"You called?" he asked, leaning onto the doorframe with one arm.

Beth's eyes flicked briefly to his flexed bicep before returning her gaze to his face, knowing she needed to stay strong. "This isn't a date," she began.

"Yes, it is."

"No," she said, pointing up to him. "No, it's not. But, I'll make a deal with you."

Sirius gave her _that_ look, his eyes squinting and the shade turning darker, and Beth bit her lip. _Hard_. "Do tell," he said, trying to maintain an air of indifference, but she could tell the intrigue was settling in.

"This isn't a date," she began, continuing quickly before he could argue with her again. "But, if you're able to convince me by the end of tonight that it is," and here, she took a step closer to the person standing so tall and confidently before her, "then I'll let you take me on a real one."

She'd thrown the ball into his court, and for a brief moment, Beth thought that she had vastly miscalculated the situation she was in. As her suggestion began to sink in, his eyes grew wide, then sank into confusion, then went entirely blank as he stared at her. The look she was so fond of was gone, the eyes returned to their normal shade, and she felt herself begin to sink away, already chastising herself for being too bold. She kept his gaze, though, desperate for some sort of sign that she hadn't been wrong, that there was an understanding, an attraction, between the two.

Finally, Sirius smiled, and it was more bold and brilliant and charming than any one she had ever seen. The only thing that could make it better would be—

"You've got yourself a deal, Beth."

* * *

A/N: Don't you just love when life gets in the way? Sorry it has taken me so long to update, but believe me when I say I have this entire story completely planned out. Out of the 21 page synopsis I have, this chapter reaches about midway through page 2. I have so, so, _so_ much planned, so if an update is late, don't think it's because I've run out of ideas. I'm just getting busy!

To all of you lovely readers, your interest in this story makes my heart overwhelmingly happy. I wish that same feeling on each and every one of you (particularly you, nimblescrivener. Thanks for the unnecessarily large amount of effort you are putting into this story).

I also want to take a moment to say this: life is hard. Life is chaotic and disruptive and sometimes more than we can bear. If you ever need some anonymous person to throw your worries onto, I'm always more than to listen. Keep staying strong, my friends.

Up next, Beth and Sirius attend the wedding together. Think he'll convince her that it's a date?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

Beth sat down next to Sirius, taking a quick moment to glance around. Caitlin had outdone herself in the decorations, and Beth found herself in awe of how spectacular the church looked. A large canopy of pink roses stood waiting at the front of the altar, delicate tea candles surrounding the area around it. The same type of roses were gathered in bouquets at the sides of the pews, gold sashes joining each of them together. It was understatedly elegant, and Beth couldn't help smiling at the evidence of Caitlin's dedication to this event.

"It looks amazing in here," Beth commented, still looking around at the space.

"Not as amazing as you," Sirius flirted, casually putting an arm around the back of the pew.

Beth turned and stared at him, her look displaying disgust rather than flattery. "You're going to have to do better than that."

"I just started," Sirius defended. Rubbing her shoulder with the hand around her, he said, "You're going to have to give me a fair shot."

Beth laughed. "You're going to have to come up with lines better than that if you want me to give you a fair shot."

"Oh, I'm not worried about that," he stated, his confidence oozing.

Beth raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Oh no," he confirmed, leaning in slightly. Beth felt his arm move closer around her, trying to subtly bring her closer to him, but she stayed strong. "In fact," he continued, "I'm certain that by the end of the night, you'll be so enraptured by me that you'll end up kissing me."

Beth rolled her eyes and moved the hand around her shoulders back to his side. "In your dreams, Romeo."

He'd been making comments like that ever since they left the flat. From a distance, Beth assumed he looked like a perfect gentleman, holding his arm out for her and opening every door they came to. Up close, however, Beth was being showered with over-the-top compliments and cheesy pick-up lines. She had to admit, it was better than the usual suggestive comments he usually threw her way, but she felt her feelings from him gain more of a distance with every attempt he made. He was trying too hard, and while she admired the evidence of his hard work in trying to woo her over, she didn't particularly love the feeling of being put on a pedestal.

She'd dangerously wavered off of her original plan to simply ignore him tonight, though she knew (or at least hoped) that it would be for a good reason. She'd give him tonight, she had decided as she was finishing getting ready, and after tonight, she'd tell him it wouldn't work out. She'd do as she'd planned earlier and blame her work schedule, the summer, and the fact that she was here to see James. He'd understand, she hoped, and the attraction between them would die out.

Putting aside her determined thoughts, she noticed a couple of the women around her casting secretive glances towards Sirius. He was surprisingly oblivious, his focus instead on the person gracefully playing the piano. Deciding to test where his emotions resided, she nudged his arm.

"Did you notice all the girls staring at you?" she asked, her voice low.

Sirius brought his attention back to her, leaning his ear closer to her mouth. "What?"

Beth brought her head back slightly. She didn't need it looking any more intimate than it was. "There's a bunch of girls staring at you," she repeated.

Sirius looked around, watching as several heads turned quickly back to face the front. He smirked, then looked back at Beth. "Want to give them something to look at?"

"No," she stated firmly, but she found herself unable to repress the smile that escaped too. "I just thought you'd want to know since this isn't a date."

"It's a date," he said, nodding slightly.

"I haven't agreed to it," Beth reminded him.

He turned slightly towards her, putting his arm back around her. "Why are you so quick to deny me, Beth?"

The question struck her with more intensity than she knew he intended. "I'm not denying you," she defended.

"You're afraid, then," he said, the statement coming more as a declaration than a question.

Beth stared into his eyes, trying to pick out the emotion she saw encapsulated in them. "I'm cautious," she corrected. "I don't want to get into anything lightly. You've got to remember, I'm only here for the summer." Glancing back towards the girls staring at him, she finished, "Those girls seem to be looking for _only_ something light, though. Even if they're not, the odds of them having to leave the continent in the next couple of weeks are next to none. It's just an option."

Beth watched as his gaze followed hers, finding his smile grow at the girls that began to giggle and look away. His interest in the situation was obvious, and she held back a grin as he sat up straighter. She'd wondered what would happen if he had a new target, and it seemed that her suspicions were correct. His attention was suddenly more focused on giving the girls something to fawn over, and she knew his ego was receiving a boost because of it. She expected to feel herself become saddened by the prospect, losing the guy she'd found a crush developing on to a couple of giggling girls. Disappointment wasn't the emotion that followed, however. Instead, a sense of relief swept over her, and thoughts of the attention she'd now be able to spend on the original intention of her summer suddenly became more vivid and enticing.

The same thing happened during the ceremony itself. Caitlin had followed her bridesmaids down the aisle, looking like a vision in her all lace gown, her soon-to-be husband bursting into tears at the sight of her. Sirius, however, was focused on the bridesmaid standing directly in front of them, and Beth soon found her attention being diverted from the beautiful bride to the very person whom Sirius was making eyes at.

Leaning over to touch his arm, she whispered, "Could you be any more discreet?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked, his eyes never coming off of the girl.

"The bridesmaid with the black bob and freckles," she pointed out. "You're not exactly being subtle."

He took a glance at her, raising his eyebrows. "Jealous, are we?"

Beth giggled softly, rolling her eyes again. "No, uncomfortable. Every time you stop looking at her, she gives me a death glare. I think she thinks we're together."

"Well we are, aren't we?" he whispered back, looking back at the bridesmaid.

Beth returned her focus to Caitlin, who was beaming wildly as she exchanged rings with the man next to her. "We came together, yes, but this isn't a date," she reminded, prodding her foot with his.

Sirius' only response was a chuckle.

This continued throughout the rest of the ceremony and all through the first part of the reception. Since Beth was supposed to be with Caitlin's cousin, they had been put at a table with Caitlin's other cousins, all of whom were female. Sirius ate every second of it up, and while she did give him props for trying to include her in as much of the conversation as possible, it soon became entirely focused around him. The girls were just as enchanted by his storytelling as she had been, and she watched as each one of them melted around him.

"How did you manage to get an entire table to fall in love with you in an hour?" she asked as they stood in line for the buffet.

"So I got you to fall in love with me?" Sirius questioned, throwing her a wink.

Beth simply laughed. "I've heard all these stories before," she pointed out. "It's going to take a little more than that to win me over."

Sirius seemed to take her statement under consideration for a moment. "It must be my hair that's doing it, then."

As soon as Caitlin and Tom had finished their first dance to their band's rendition of Etta James' "At Last" and the cake had been cut, the dance floor was opened. Sirius had held out his hand to Beth the moment the music started, urging her out. "Come dance with me," he said.

She shook her head. "I think I'm going to stay here," she replied.

"Come on, Beth," he urged, trying to pull her out of her seat.

She gently swatted his hand away and smiled at him, trying to ease him away. "Go find one of your new friends to dance with," she replied, craning her neck to find a good option. "Where's the bridesmaid you were making eyes at?"

Sirius turned towards the center of the room, looking for her as well. "I don't see her," he said. "Looks like I'm going to have to dance with you."

Sirius quickly grabbed her other hand, pulling her onto her feet. "I'm a great dancer," he prodded, slowly guiding her towards the floor.

She yanked her hands away before he could get her out any further. "I'm not," she began, but was cut off when the bridesmaid with the black bob arrived.

"I am," she said, placing a hand on Sirius' shoulder and leaning into his side.

Sirius was immediately stricken by the bridesmaid's presence, engulfing her in one glance. She was even prettier up close than she had been standing away, Beth noticed, and she found herself glad that she had managed to dissuade any attraction to him away. She would not have been able to compete with the person before her.

Sirius cast a look at Beth, his look obviously asking if she was alright with this. She smiled at him kindly. "It's not a date," she repeated, nodding towards the dance floor. "Go have fun."

Sirius gave her a quick "thank you" and whisked the girl off towards the center of the floor. A large number of couples had already made their way out, and with a quick scope of the room, Beth realized that more were on their way. In just a few short minutes, she had lost all visual she had on Sirius, save for the occasional flash of his hair, and, with a breath, she sat back down at her table.

Beth eased her feet out of her shoes, reaching down to rub them. She was sitting alone at her table, but she did not mind. The group that had been sitting with her had talked only of family drama when they weren't too busy flirting with Sirius, and the chance to simply take in the atmosphere of the room without interruption was inviting. Beth looked around, finally taking a moment to notice the centerpieces, the lighting, and the decorations, mentally taking note of the different aspects she liked. _"This wedding cannot be better than ours,"_ Lily had told her. _"I will never hear the end of it if you end up liking Caitlin's wedding more than the one you actually came to see. Promise me you'll take note of everything so I can make sure that doesn't happen."_

Beth had laughed at Lily's unnecessary jealously, assuring her that she would not allow it to happen. However, as she looked around the space now, she realized that Caitlin might be able to give Lily a run for her money. The pink roses were everywhere, making the room smell wonderful. Unable to resist, Beth picked one out of the centerpiece, sniffing the delicate flower eagerly.

"Doesn't it smell absolutely divine?"

Beth turned to see the bride herself standing next to her, a huge smile plastered on her face. She immediately got up and hugged her friend, congratulating her and stepping back to admire her dress. "You look incredible," she stated, taking in as much detail as she could.

"My feet feel anything but," she joked, taking the seat beside her. "But I wouldn't have it any other way." A huge smile followed her declaration, and Beth couldn't help but smile with her.

"By the way," Beth began, reaching for her friend's hand. "Thank you so much for letting me still come to this even after your cousin bailed."

"Oh, please," Caitlin said. "You were going to come to this wedding no matter what it took. I would have picked you up myself if I had to." Caitlin took a look around, searching for someone. "Did you end up bringing someone along?"

Beth nodded. "He's actually dancing with one of your bridesmaids."

Caitlin stood up, glancing around the floor for Sirius. "Is he with Natalie, the bridesmaid with the black hair?"

"I think so," Beth responded.

Caitlin sat back down with a wide smile. "He's rather handsome," she noted, a twinkle sparkling in her eye.

Beth laughed. "You're a married woman," she admonished, but making no move to discredit her comment.

"Hey, I'm allowed to window shop," she said, stealing another glance at Sirius. "Apparently he is, too. Why aren't you dancing with him? You're together, aren't you?"

Beth shook her head. "Not really."

Caitlin rested her chin on her hand, her elbow coming to lean on the table. "What do you mean, 'not really'?"

With a small sigh, Beth began to explain the details of her and Sirius' relationship, starting from the beginning and ending at last night. "He said he was going to try to convince me tonight that all of this was a date, but I do believe he's found himself distracted from that."

"And you're upset about that?"

Beth gave her friend a look. "No, I'm not upset."

Caitlin raised her eyebrows, the disbelief extremely evident in her look. "You've practically just told me you found yourself attracted to this man," she pointed out. "Now you're saying you're not upset that he's not with you?"

"Well, that's the thing," Beth said, turning more towards her friend. "I thought I would be upset. I really did. But look at him," she said, glancing back towards the floor. "He's so happy. He's having a blast, which is remarkable considering he knows no one here. The only reason he came was because James couldn't. Why should I be upset with him for enjoying himself? If he's able to divert any attention he had towards me towards someone else, then it wouldn't have been anything to pursue anyway."

"Well who says it has to be something lasting?" Caitlin asked. "Why not just have a little summer fling? I mean, it's the perfect scenario for an American. The seductive British accent, the dashing good looks—"

"But it's James' friend," Beth pointed out.

"So?"

"So," Beth laughed, "I can't have a fling with my best friend's best friend. Isn't that like a weird kind of incest?"

It was Caitlin's turn to laugh. "I think you're thinking about this too much. If I know James—which, granted, I don't really anymore—but if he's anything like the James we grew up with, he's going to be ecstatic for the both of you simply because you're happy. He might be a little weirded out at first, but he'll get over it, and it'll leave you with an excellent story to tell once you get home."

Beth turned towards the person they were talking about, smiling to herself when she saw the large group of girls surrounding him. He was eating it up, she could tell from the large smile adorning his face. She shook her head. "No, I think he's having too much fun. If he was interested in something like that, then he'd be over here trying to convince me that tonight was a date." Caitlin gave her a sad look, understanding crossing her face. Beth immediately took her friend's hand again. "Look, I did not come to England to try to find a fling or a boyfriend or a husband. I came to see my friend get married, and now I've got to witness you get married too. I'm as content as I possibly can be right now, so don't feel sorry for me," she assured her.

"Alright," Caitlin said, standing up from the seat. "I've got to go talk to some other guests, but before I leave, I do have one question. If he came over right now, left all of the girls standing out there—even Natalie—and asked you to dance again, what would you say?"

Beth thought about this for a brief moment, taking in her question completely. On the one hand, she hoped he wouldn't, mainly because she'd already decided that she was going to spend the rest of the summer focused on the obligations she already had in place. On the other hand, if he were to drop everything, leave everyone, and insist on her accompanying him out there, she wasn't sure if she would be powerless to stop herself from agreeing. She let a grin escape, biting her lip nervously as she thought of the possibility.

"Yeah," Caitlin said, smirking before she left. "That's what I thought."

As Caitlin walked away, Beth put her head into her hands and groaned. Just when she was certain she felt one way, another idea would come into her mind. The back and forth of these emotions in just two weeks was exhausting to keep up with, even if they were her own. _It's just a crush_ , she chastised herself for what felt like the hundredth time. _These are things that middle schoolers deal with_.

But then why had he become so kind in the past couple of days? Why had he taken her on the motorcycle ride? Why had he asked James and Lily to create a dinner for her first day at her internship? Why had he listened to her cry over her day at work? Why had he sat so close to her at dinner? These thoughts flooded through her mind as more and more memories began to play over in her head. It truly didn't make sense for someone who had enjoyed arguing with her so much to suddenly become more polite, more engaging, more enticing, unless there was something provoking the change. If they had spent the summer arguing, Beth was sure that she still would have considered him a friend and missed him when she left. But this? If she were to leave him right at this very second, her feelings would be forget, harder to erase, and she would have no problem blaming him for her constant questions of _What if?_

Beth vaguely heard the bandleader announce that they were going to play a slower song, but her thoughts were too entangled to care. There was no point in pining over someone who was clearly more interested in the group of girls around him. She shook her feelings aside again, telling herself that it was the right thing to do. She would give him a couple more songs with his posse before letting him know she was going back, with or without him, and would spend the rest of the night concocting a plan to forget these feelings.

"Oh, thank goodness, there you are."

Beth immediately turned to the voice behind her, laughing to herself over her bad luck. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

Sirius took her hand and pulled her up, not allowing her a moment to consider it. "It's your turn," he declared.

Beth felt everything she'd just decided crumble as she scrambled to process what he thought. "What do you mean, my turn?" she asked, hoping it sounded more lighthearted than the panic she felt.

Sirius pulled her out fully onto the dance floor, wrapping his free hand around her waist and holding their joined hands out. "You've had your fun watching me, and I've given you plenty of time to rest. Now," he said, looking deeply into her eyes, "it's your turn."

Beth couldn't have held back her smile if she tried.

They danced slowly, a beautiful voice crooning out Nat King Cole's "Unforgettable". Beth could hardly hear the words over the sound of her heart pounding, though, and she wondered if Sirius could hear it too.

"Are you having fun?" she asked, trying to calm it down.

Sirius nodded slightly. "A blast," he assured. "Thank you for letting me come with you."

Beth smiled. "Well, James couldn't and I haven't met Remus yet."

"Oh, Remus wouldn't come."

"You don't think so?"

"I know so," he said, giving her an incredulous look. "I did live with him for seven years. I think I might know him better than you."

Beth laughed, taking her eyes away from his briefly and scanning the room. Caitlin was watching, a mischievous smile on her face and an undeniable sense of victory radiating from her. Not wanting to explain to Sirius why she was suddenly smiling so widely, her focus shifted towards a familiar group of girls. "Which one did you like best?" she asked.

"Hm?"

"The girls," she repeated, leaning closer to Sirius' ear (only a small fraction of it was to make them jealous). "Which one did you like the most?"

Sirius eased his head back from her so that he could face her directly. "This is a trick question," he stated.

Beth ignored the way his hand was stroking hers, willing away the memories of dinner at the Potter's. "How is it a trick question?" she asked.

"I'm here on a date," he said, nearly whispering.

Beth laughed again. "I'm definitely not convinced that this is a date."

"You're not?" he asked, concern filling his voice.

"Of course not," she said. "I was almost convinced you'd forgotten about me earlier."

Any hope she had of maintaining her feelings of indifference towards him then shattered, for he used the hand around her waist to press him closer to his chest, holding her tightly to him. There was hardly any distance between their faces now, and if Beth thought that _the_ look he had given her before was hard to pull away from, she was certain she couldn't do it now if she'd wanted to. She felt her heart rate skip a beat at their proximity, unsure how to respond or act to this situation.

"Well then," he whispered, pressing the side of his face to hers. "We'll have to change that."

* * *

A/N: Ooooo, all kinds of predictable tension in this chapter. What predictable thing do you think will happen next?

I've got a question for you all that will ultimately be up to nimblescrivener (best. beta. ever.) to decide, but I'll override her if I get a different answer from all of you! I've written a very short chapter 12 that can either stand alone or be put at the end of chapter 11. Would you like one super long chapter 11, or potentially wait a little longer for me to get another one written and receive chapter 12 and 13 at the same time? Let me know!

Up next, Sirius and Beth discuss whether the events above were a date. What do you think will happen during the discussion?


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

"I really don't understand how you walk in these," he said, motioning to the heels he was carrying. "The look like deathtraps."

Beth laughed, holding onto his arm tighter. "They feel like them," she agreed. "You should try a pair on one day."

"Oh, I have no doubt that I would look exquisite in them," Sirius replied. "I just wouldn't dare to put my feet through this torture."

If he was being honest with himself, this wasn't how he saw the night ending. Sure, before they had arrived at the wedding, he'd been hoping that this is how it would end, with her cuddled up next to him and the assurance that this very much _was_ a date established. However, he'd be lying if he said that he wasn't excited by the idea of the several beautiful women practically throwing themselves at him, especially that bridesmaid _(what was her name again?)._ He'd been thrilled when Beth had given him the all-clear to chase after them, convincing himself that he wouldn't ever have been able to persuade her anyway. He'd followed the bridesmaid eagerly, finding himself enraptured by her vivaciousness and life.

And yet, something hadn't felt right. He'd loved dancing with her, enjoyed feeling her arms wrap around him tightly, and hadn't come close to complaining when she'd traced her hands down the length of his body. There had been something wrong, though, and no matter how hard he'd tried to shake it away, the feeling remained.

He'd looked over at Beth multiple times, wishing she would make eye contact with him. If she gave him even the hope of a smile, he'd run over to her immediately. Her insistence that she wasn't a good dancer could be thwarted with enough determination, he decided, even if it meant physically picking her up and taking her to the dance floor. He'd wanted her there with him, wanted to have her laugh ringing in his ears as he twirled her around. He'd wanted her to come back to James' high on exhilaration and life, and for her smile to stay intently on her face. He'd wanted her to agree that absolutely yes, this was a date, and could they please go on another one very soon.

He'd wanted her to see the possibility of _them_.

But more and more girls kept coming over, and his attention shifted to the people in front of him. He'd smirked greedily as they came over, felt his ego puff up to an uncontrollable high, and danced wholeheartedly with any who was interested. He'd tried to keep count of the different people, wanting to surprise James with how many he danced with tonight, but he quickly lost track. Captivated by their presence, he let his mind drift away from Beth and onto the people in front of him.

All would have continued just the same, too, had Caitlin not pulled him aside.

Not even bothering to introduce herself, she'd immediately said, "Go dance with Beth."

"I tried to," he'd responded, holding up a finger to tell one of the girls to wait. "She said she didn't want to."

"Okay, well I _just_ talked to her and asked what she'd say if you asked her again, and she said she would," Caitlin had declared.

His gaze had immediately went to Beth. She was sitting by herself, picking at a flower she had taken from the centerpiece. A grin had escaped his face as he took in the sight. "She said that?"

"Yes," Caitlin had assured him. "She tried to play it off like she wasn't interested in you, and I think that if you stay here amongst all these girls, the interest will eventually fade. But if you go to her right now," she'd said, turning to look at Beth as well, "I think it could lead to something very promising."

The bandleader had announced that they were going to change the pace slightly with a slower song as her statement finished. Caitlin had grabbed his arm in an instant. "Now is your moment," she'd said. "Are you going to take it?"

Sirius had looked back towards Beth with a sudden spark of hope, nodding to the bride standing next to him. He'd taken a step forward, ready to cross over to her, when he'd turned around and said, "Have I seen you somewhere before?"

Caitlin had rolled her eyes. "Yes, I was standing at the end of the altar next to the bridesmaid you were making eyes at. Now go!"

And so he had. He'd whisked her out into the dance floor, holding her close for the remainder of the song and asking her to stay when it finished. She'd bit her lip nervously, reminding him that she wasn't a good dancer, but Sirius had simply denied it and spun her around. She'd quickly proved herself to be a marvelous dancer, and Sirius made sure to tell her as often as possible. He'd denied every other girl that came up to him asking for a dance, replying every time, "Sorry, it's time I spent some time with my date." Beth had smirked and stated that it wasn't a date each time, but Sirius saw that her resolve was slowly chipping away.

They didn't part from each other the rest of the evening. They had talked, they had laughed, and they had danced like no one was watching. When it came time to leave, Beth grabbed his arm without a thought, holding onto it tightly. He hadn't even tried to hide back his grin at her action, the response encouraging him to wrap his hand around hers. That was how they had left: arm in arm, hand in hand, and both smiling ridiculously.

That was why, only a few feet away from James' flat, he had slowed his pace, unable and unwilling to let the night end yet. James, Remus, and Peter were expecting him, he knew, and he made himself promise that he wouldn't be too long, but the thought of pulling himself away from her suddenly seemed impossible. He would greedily take every moment he could with her, right up until the last second, and would apparate over to his friends. The full moon was here, and despite their being out of Hogwarts for well over a year now, the Marauders still met up every month to help keep their friend safe. But right now, this moment belonged to him.

"Are you staying here tonight, or are you actually going home?" Beth asked, bringing his thoughts back to the person standing next to him.

"Well, that depends," he teased, slowing their pace a little more. "What would you rather have me do?"

Beth shook her head, but he saw the traces of a smile forming. "Why do I have a feeling that my opinion wouldn't matter?"

"Because you're very intelligent," he responded, squeezing her hand slightly. "But no, I'm joining James tonight. Remus is sick."

"Oh no." Beth scrunched her face up with worry and glanced at him. "Is he okay?"

Sirius bit back a laugh. _Oh, Beth, if only you knew_. "He'll be fine," he stated. "It happens more frequently than you'd expect."

"Isn't there anything a doctor can do?"

Sirius shook his head. "Unfortunately, no. All we can do is band together whenever it happens. He gets pretty moody, too, so only the best of the best can stand to be around him."

"Is there anything I can do?" Beth offered.

They made it to the entrance, though Sirius kept a firm hold on Beth's hand. "For someone you haven't even met yet?"

Beth laughed, nodding her head in agreement. "Well, according to James and Lily, we're going to be married. I might as well meet him at his worst."

Sirius shook his head. "You're not going to marry him."

Beth leaned up against the door, their hands still joined together. Sirius began to battle her fingers with his own, teasingly entwining and removing them repeatedly. "I'm not?" Beth asked.

"Absolutely not," he confirmed, still battling with her. "You can't get married to him after such a marvelous date with me."

"Ah, well see," Beth began, bringing her other hand up to point at him. Sirius quickly grabbed it and continued his actions on both of her hands. She smiled and continued, "I'm still not convinced that this was a date."

"And why not?" he questioned. "Did me leaving to dance with that bridesmaid somehow convince you that I wasn't interested?"

He watched as Beth smiled at his tease, bringing her gaze to their joined hands. "Why did you come back?"

Sirius looked right at her, though she didn't look up to meet his eyes. "You could have stayed with her, or any other girl for that matter. I wouldn't have minded." She looked back up at him, ceasing the teasing of their hands and moving to stroke it with her thumb instead. "What made you come back?"

Sirius took in her gaze, steady but unsure, anxiously awaiting his reply. Smiling gently down at her, he replied, "The chance to have this moment with you."

Beth rolled her eyes, obviously believing that it was a line he'd used before, but before she could accuse him of it, he squeezed her hand. "Beth, I have to leave soon," he began, looking towards the large moon above them, "but before I leave, I have to tell you something."

"Ah," Beth said, leaning up against the door and crossing her arms. "I was wondering when this was going to come up. Go on and ask me whether this was a date or not."

Holding onto his Gryffindor courage, he took a small step closer to her, watching as her breath slightly hitched. The action gave him a small boost of confidence, and, clearing his throat, he began.

"Beth, before I ask you anything, before any answer is given, before any of this continues, I have to say this. No matter what you decide, I had a truly wonderful time with you tonight." She went to speak, but he held up his hand, silently asking her to wait. "I know you said that none of this was a date, and I know that it will take a lot to convince you that it was, and I know we didn't start out on the right foot, and I know I'm loud and brash and exhausting, but I need you to believe me when I say with absolute sincerity that you look and _are_ entirely breathtaking."

"Sirius," Beth whispered, closing her eyes.

He gently placed his hands on either side of her face, stroking her hair slightly. She looked up at him, and Sirius nearly groaned at the look of expectation she gave him. "You are. I've thought so since the moment I met you."

Sirius felt a hand softly grasp his wrist as she looked up at him. "Sirius," she repeated, slightly more confident than the last time.

He didn't let her continue, however, simply lowered slightly to look right at her, his hands staying where they were. "I know you're only here for a couple of months," he said, never breaking eye contact. "I know you're only here to see James get married and to finish your bloody internship. I know that those are the reasons you're going to give me for not pursuing this, but Beth, you cannot deny that there's something between us."

She shook her head slightly, and Sirius found himself suddenly worried that he had misinterpreted everything. Steeling his gaze, he waited expectantly for her to respond, praying to everything holy that she would respond affirmatively.

"No," she finally said, taking her eyes away from him. "I can't deny it."

He breathed out a silent sigh of relief, moving to stand directly over her again. "Then why try to fight it?" he asked. "Why try to fight something we both want?"

"It's not a good idea," she said, bringing her gaze back to meet his.

"It's a great idea," he countered, not caring that his argument was pathetic. "A summer entirely for us. Think about how wonderful it could be."

She shook her head again. "I'm not looking for anything serious."

He let a grin release, and he couldn't help but notice the twinkle in her eye that followed it. "You're not looking for anything _serious,_ or you're not looking for anything, _Sirius_?" he said, motioning towards himself. "Because the way I see it, one gives us at least the summer and is exactly what I'm suggesting, and the other makes me immensely worried that you'll be smart and end up with Remus anyway."

She smiled at his comment about Remus, stroking his hand again. "What do you mean, exactly what you're suggesting?"

"I mean that you'll want some fun when you come back from work and James won't always be there," he explained. "Why not let me step in?"

"There's no need for any romantic entanglements for that, though," Beth pointed out. "Why not just agree to be my friend?"

"Because you want this too," he whispered. His eyes flicked down to her lips for a moment, and he noticed, not for the first time, how soft they looked. Prying his eyes away from them, he looked back at her face, watching as his words sank in. He swallowed heavily, anticipation flowing through every part of him. "You want someone to wrap your arms around, someone to hold tightly to you, someone who will willingly help you take the stress off from a rough day. And me? I like snogging attractive girls."

Beth chuckled, and slowly brought a hand up to rest on his chest. Sirius sucked in a breath at her touch, but noticed that she was also creating more distance between them. "I probably won't want to go past that," she stated.

"I'd never force you to do anything you weren't comfortable with," he assured her. "I was raised a gentleman."

"That's debatable," she teased, biting her lip as her smile widened. He saw it only through his peripheral vision, but it was still enough to set him on edge. He forced himself to focus solely on her, hoping that the end reward would be worth the struggle.

"Don't you see?" he asked. "We get along splendidly, we always see each other, and we're both astoundingly beautiful. Everything between us will be easy, comfortable, and fun. If you happen to meet someone that you believe is more bewitching than I am—which won't happen—then you see them. Extend the same courtesy to me, and we'll have the best summer imaginable."

"I don't know, Sirius."

"What's stopping you?"

She was silent for a moment, simply staring at him. "I don't know."

Sirius slowly leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes at the proximity. "I might know a way to convince you," he whispered. He felt his breath warm her skin, and heard her sigh gently as he slowly began to bring his face closer to hers. "If you tell me to stop, I will."

She didn't.

The second his lips touched hers, he felt a jolt of electricity race through him. The feeling was overwhelmingly beautiful, and it didn't take long for her to respond to him. She wrapped one arm around his neck, sliding her other hand up from his chest to his cheek as he grabbed her waist and her back, pressing her as closely to him as possible. Encouraged by her actions, he ran his tongue around the seam of the lips he had been staring at so diligently earlier, not even bothering to hide the groan that escaped when she opened her mouth to him.

He'd snogged plenty of women during his days at Hogwarts, though James would always insist that it was a lie. He'd even managed to steal one from Marlene a couple of weeks ago, though that one was the product of adrenaline and a worry that they wouldn't return from their last mission from the Order. This, though, this was unlike any kiss he had ever received. Unlike the conversation they had before this, Beth was not shy to extract what she wanted, and he shivered as she demanded dominance over their kiss. It spoke of years worth of sexual tension rather than a mere two weeks, and as he tilted his head to the other side for better access, he had an overwhelming feeling that she felt it too.

They continued like that a few moments more, hands exploring, heads moving, hearts pounding, before the need to breathe became too much for them. Sirius pulled back only slightly, returning his forehead to rest on hers again. She was breathing heavily, but a smile, _her smile_ , was back, and Sirius decided it was the second best thing he'd ever seen her lips do.

"So," Sirius said, his head remaining on hers. "Was this a date?"

"No."

Sirius pulled back instantly, confused and bewildered. "No?"

Beth giggled, running her fingers down his face in an attempt to calm him down. "No, it wasn't a date. But—"

Sirius didn't give her a moment to respond after he heard the word. He swept down and kissed her again, moving them to press her against the door. He immediately began plundering her mouth, trying with everything he had in him to express how happy he was to hear the word "but". He tore his mouth away from her, wanting to start peppering small kisses all over her face, but she turned her head from him, giggling again.

"But—" she said, forcing him to look at her. "If you were to ask me on a real one, I wouldn't say no."

He instantly grabbed her hands and hastened to make eye contact with her, the words, "Bethwillyoupleasegoonadatewithme" coming out quicker than he realized (though he did notice her reply coming just as quickly).

After several minutes of an intense "thank you" kiss had passed, he stared down at her. Her face was flushed, her lips were swollen, and he had no doubt he looked just the same. _This will be wonderful to explain to James,_ he thought. He brought one hand up to cup her cheek, stroking it slightly. "I have to go," he complained. "Tell me to stay."

Beth leaned up and kissed him softly once more, wrapping her arms around his neck to give him a warm hug. "Go take care of your friend," she said, holding him closely to her. "I promise, I'll be waiting."

* * *

A/N: I've missed you all! I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to post another chapter. I can't promise that it won't happen again, but I will try my hardest to update more frequently.

Nimblescrivener, what would I do without you? You're the absolute best.

Up next, Beth meets Remus and they talk about the date she had with Sirius. Do you think it went well?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

Sirius had botched their date.

Botched was putting it nicely, actually. Completely, utterly, and entirely ruined, that was a more accurate way to put it.

Beth sighed as she climbed the stairs from her stop. She'd prayed for some interesting, exciting work to do to occupy her mind rather than returning to filing papers; instead, her internship granted her an opportunity to die of boredom and to overthink a wasted night spent with a one Sirius Black. By the end of her shift, she had twelve different things she could have said back to him thought up, all of them insinuating in no uncertain terms where he could spend the rest of eternity.

 _The nerve of him_ , she thought, rolling her eyes. _I mean honestly, the absolute nerve of him_.

She had been entirely overjoyed when James announced that Sirius was leaving for the next several days, thanking anyone she could think of that she wouldn't have to see him. Beth honestly wasn't sure how she would respond if she saw him so soon after the fiasco that occurred. She also wasn't sure that James knew all of the details of what had happened after Caitlin's wedding three nights ago, assuming Sirius had said anything at all. She would honestly be more surprised if he hadn't, knowing he would gladly take an opportunity to spice up a story involving him and a girl. If James was completely oblivious, though, there was no way she was going to be the one to bring it up to him. What would she even say? _"Hey James, your friend proved to be a bigger git than we thought?"_

That actually had a rather nice ring to it.

The question she'd been thinking all day came back to her head as she turned the corner for James' street: why did she agree to it at all? She could have told him no, could have insisted she was fine sitting down at the table, could have demanded he not accompany her to the wedding in the first place. Everything could have been easily avoided, and instead she'd allowed a big mess of a situation to occur. Maybe there was someone out to get her, someone trying to prove that she was gullible and easy to trick. What fun that would be.

Beth heard laughing as she reached the doorway, finding herself cringing instinctively. _Please don't let that be Sirius, please don't let that be Sirius_. She wasn't sure how long he was supposed to be gone, though she'd desperately hoped that he'd be smart enough to stay away. _Wait, does putting "Sirius" and "smart" in the same sentence count as an oxymoron? Allowing him to use the word "gentleman" to describe himself had certainly turned out to be._

"Beth!" James called the second she walked through the door. "I've got a surprise for you!"

"Better or worse than your wedding invite?" she responded, kicking off her shoes.

"Oh, infinitely better," James promised. "One you'll thank me about for ages to come."

"Especially if we're to be married," a voice she had never heard before said.

She froze at the sound, a smile quickly reaching her face. Dropping her purse and key at the door, she sprinted to the living room, doing her best not to knock anything over. Turning the corner, she saw the tall, slender man standing with his hands in his pockets, a goofy grin emerging underneath his wispy brown hair. She nearly squealed with excitement. "Are you Remus?"

He shrugged, though the grin remained. "I'm Remus."

Beth sighed loudly with relief, walking closer to him. "I've wanted to meet you for such a long time!" she exclaimed, reaching out her hand. "Hi, I'm Beth, and I fully intend on being your best friend."

Remus shook her hand cheerfully and laughed at her enthusiasm. "Oh, how wonderful. I've never had a best friend before."

"Oi," James protested, throwing his hands up. "You have an entire group of friends. What are we, then?"

"You've been alright for the time being," Remus said, still holding onto her hand. "But I know she won't ask for help breaking rules."

Beth looked over at James, who was sitting on the couch next to them. "See, I've already got you beat."

"Although I'd say there wasn't even a fight to beat him in," Remus added.

"We call ourselves the Marauders," James argued. "There isn't a group of mates around that are closer than we are."

"Mickey Mouse has his group of friends," Beth noted.

"Oh, and there's the Rat Pack, you know, Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin," Remus joined.

"You're honestly going to tell me that Mickey Mouse is closer with his friends than you are with yours?" James asked Remus.

"You're just mad because you know you'd be Minnie and Lily would be Mickey," Beth stated.

As Remus cackled with laughter, James turned to her, incredulous. "Why is it that you always gang up on me with my best mates?"

"It's too easy," she replied. "It's almost like you've personally set up every single situation."

"Well, I won't stand for it," James said, his attempt at being firm coming out more amused. "You do realize you're living in my flat for free for an entire summer, right? What if I decided to kick you out?"

"Well, now I have my husband here," she said, pointing towards Remus. "I'm all set."

"That's another thing," James said, standing up to their level as Remus chuckled. "At what point did Lily or I insinuate that we wanted you two to get married?"

"Oh please, James," Remus argued. "You've been suggesting it to me since the moment we met."

"And you haven't stopped suggesting it to me since we had dinner at your parents'," Beth declared.

James stopped for a moment. "Okay, so I've mentioned it _a couple_ of times. But both of you know what will get me to stop."

Beth looked at Remus, who was giving her the same confused look she had. "We have to get married to get you to stop?"

"Is that why you're marrying Lily?" Remus questioned. "Were your parents just continually asking until you finally proposed?"

"Shove off, you wanker." James mumbled something incoherent under his breath before announcing he was going to get the tea he had made. Beth turned to the man in front of her, taking in the person she had been dying to meet.

"I really am so happy to meet you."

"I'm afraid that this is about all there is to see," he said, looking down at himself. "But, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited to meet you, too."

Beth went to sit down on the couch, smiling to herself when Remus took the chair opposite her rather than the empty seat on the couch. _If only Sirius had been that generous_. "Are you feeling better? I heard you were rather ill a couple of days ago."

"Very much so," Remus assured her. "Thank you for asking."

"Do you know what it is that's making you so sick?" she asked, concern scrunching up her face. "Sirius said that it happens pretty often."

He smiled, chuckling a little bit. "Yes, I know the causes of it. It's quite complicated to go into, though. Just know that I'm fine." Beth went to object, attempting to offer her help in any way, but Remus interjected. "You were at a wedding with Sirius that night, weren't you?"

Beth tried not to roll her eyes. "Yeah. What a fun night that was."

She could tell by the look he gave her that he picked up on her sarcasm. "From what I heard, you seemed to be enjoying yourself."

Beth shot up, facing him directly. "Did he tell you?"

Remus eyed her. "You know Sirius. Do you honestly think that he would have been able to keep that to himself?"

She slightly lowered her voice. "Did he tell you about the wedding or—?"

"Oh no, he told me about the date, too."

"Crap," Beth mumbled, shaking her head. She stole a look towards the kitchen, feeling her heart rate increasing with every moment. "Does James know?"

"Oh no," Remus confirmed. "Sirius isn't the smartest person around, but he knows better than to tell his best mate he snogged the girl living in his flat."

Beth groaned, placing her hands over her face. "How much did he tell you?"

"I was very ill, Beth. I needed a good story to improve my health."

She groaned again, louder this time. "He told you _everything_?"

Remus shrugged. "More or less. He told me everything that he deemed important, so I'm probably missing some minor—possibly major—details."

"It wasn't my fault," Beth began to protest, but Remus held up his hand.

"Beth, in nearly any situation Sirius is involved in, it's generally his fault if it turns out badly. No one blames you, not even him."

"Why would I be blamed?" Beth asked him. "He's the one who showed up drunk."

Remus leaned forward in his chair. "Wait, he never told me that he showed up drunk."

"Oh," Beth said, acting surprised. "Well there's one of the major details he left out."

Remus rubbed his forehead, hiding a smile on his face. "What did the obnoxious prat do this time?"

"Well, let's see," Beth pretended to ponder. "He drove over here on his bike despite the fact that he was totally inebriated, then got mad at me because I refused to let him drive me anywhere."

"Ah," Remus interrupted. "See, he only told me that you had ruined the plans he had made. He didn't mention why."

"I didn't ruin—he ruined everything! Who gets drunk _before_ a date? During, yes, but before?"

"He gets nervous," Remus quietly added.

"I was nervous too," Beth said, quieting her voice when Remus looked over to the kitchen. "But I took deep, calming breaths, I didn't get intoxicated."

"It's something we're trying to break him of, I promise," Remus said. "But before a big event, he typically drinks a glass of something to help him loosen up. The problem is when we aren't around, he forgets to stop at one."

Beth stared ahead at him for a moment, letting his words sink in. "That's the most pathetic excuse I've ever heard."

"You're right, that's why we're trying to break him of it."

"Try harder."

Remus laughed, causing Beth to break out into a smile with him. "So what happened next?" he asked her.

"What are you two talking about?" a voice interjected before she could continue.

The two of them looked up at James, who was coming in with a pot of tea. Beth momentarily froze, unsure how to continue. It wouldn't be the end of the world if James found out, but it wasn't necessarily information she wanted to disclose. She looked towards Remus, her eyes displaying panic, silently asking him for help.

"Beth's telling me about a bad date she once went on," Remus cleverly covered, hardly missing a beat. She released a quiet sigh of relief, giving him a small smile of thanks.

"Oh yeah?" James asked, setting down the tray in front of them. "What happened?"

"So far, the man has shown up drunk," Remus informed him, reaching for a teacup. "He blames her for canceling the plans he'd made despite the fact that her safety was in danger."

Beth laughed. "You're making this sound like a soap opera."

"It sounds like one to me," James said, adding milk to the tea he'd poured. "What happened next?"

Beth took the milk from her friend and added it to her cup. "After he chastised me for a good ten minutes about how I was intentionally trying to ruin the date, he demanded that we still do something despite the fact that I was telling him to just go home. I even offered to do the date on a different night, to give him a chance to redeem himself."

"He didn't take it?" James asked, sipping his tea.

"He did not take it."

"Sounds like a bit of a tosser to me," James mumbled.

Remus looked at Beth, a stoic expression on his face. "He _seriously_ does, Beth."

Beth's eyes grew wide and she gave him a friendly glare. His face remained expressionless, though she could have sworn she saw his eyes twinkle. She hardly bit back her grin, and tried to use the premise of drinking tea to hide her face from James. Luckily, her friend was staring at something on the couch, and did not notice the pink tinge to her face.

"Anyway," she said, throwing one last glare towards Remus for good measure (whose poker face was much better than she would have guessed), "I invited him inside and offered to make some food for the both of us, but everything I suggested wasn't good enough, and once again I was accused of sabotaging the date. By this point, I'm pretty mad, starting to lose my cool a little bit, and he looks at me and says, 'You'd better not act like this on our next date.'"

Remus laughed and covered his face with his hands. James looked at her expectantly. "Did you kill him?" he asked. "Please tell me you killed him."

"Oh, believe me, I wanted to." Beth took a large gulp of her tea before continuing. "But no, I thought that maybe he'd be better once he got some food into him and that I could explain to him that the way he was acting was not okay. We finally decide that cereal will be our big meal, and because I'm an idiot, I asked him to make his own bowl." Beth put down her cup and spread her arms out wide. "Milk went _everywhere_. He's so drunk, though, that he bursts into tears at the sight. I kid you not, James, I had to use the phrase 'there's no use crying over spilt milk.'"

Remus and James were both laughing now, though Remus was laughing considerably harder than James. She prayed silently that he wouldn't give himself away, and tried to telepathically communicate with her new friend to remember to stay quiet. Remus looked back up at her, still laughing hysterically. "Oh please, tell me there's more," Remus managed to say.

"Oh, there's more." Beth sat back on the couch, cradling her cup of tea in her hand. "I clean up the mess, we eat the cereal in absolute silence—which, to me, was the best part of the night—and we go and sit on the couch. I think, 'oh, this would be a good time to mention that tonight sucked.' He apparently thinks, 'oh, this would be a good time to try to stick my tongue down her throat.'"

"So you killed him then?" James asked.

Beth chuckled and took another sip of her tea. "I punched him so hard that I honestly thought I had for a minute. When he came to, I nearly threw him out the door."

"Did he ever call you to apologize?" Remus asked.

Beth shook her head. "No, but he did leave town immediately afterwards. I think he might have been scared of me."

Remus took his tea and raised it to his lips. "And what if he _does_ call you again?"

Beth smirked. "Then he'd better have a really good apology ready."

"How long ago was this?" James interrupted. "I feel like this would have been something you would have told me about, and I don't remember you mentioning it at all."

"Did I not tell you?" Beth covered, trying hard not to let any emotion slip. "I would have thought I'd told you, too."

James stared at her for a minute before shaking his head. Beth stole a glance at Remus, who gave her a quick thumbs up to congratulate her on her cover. "Oh well," James said, picking up his tea. "You know the offer to knock him around for you still stands, though I highly doubt I'll be in America any time soon. In the meantime," James said, missing the other glance Beth gave to Remus at the mention of her date living in America. "Why don't you go on a date with someone you know will treat you with all the respect you deserve?"

"Well I'm flattered, James," Beth said, not even trying to contain the grin that escaped. "But you're already engaged."

James stood up, taking his tea with him, and eyed the two sitting down. "Well, maybe there's someone else around here who just happens to be single and perfect for you." Taking a sip of his tea, he wagged his eyebrows before leaving the room.

Beth looked towards Remus, whose eyes were closed and whose fingers were resting on the bridge of his nose. She took in his agitated yet composed stature, liking how he took the moment to calm down rather than to fire back some outrageous comment. It was so unlike the person she'd went on the "date" with, and the change of pace was welcoming. He seemed to fit her personality well, and certainly appeared to be nowhere near as brash as Sirius often was. She thought back to the last couple of weeks, thinking of the different things that had occurred. How different would it have been if she had met Remus first?

"He's not exactly subtle, is he?" Beth asked.

"They've been suggesting things like that for as long as I can remember," Remus mumbled. "I honestly don't remember a time someone wasn't suggesting I needed a wife or a girlfriend or a lover or whatever." He took a deep breath before returning his focus to Beth. "I apologize if they make you feel uncomfortable."

Beth smiled and shook her head. "I'm fine. I've heard my fair share of comments like that from my family. I can take it from a couple of friends."

Remus stared at her a moment, simply smiling softly, and Beth felt her own smile grow. She had no doubt that he would quickly grow to become one of her closest friends, even if it meant the only time they'd ever talk would be this summer. She prayed silently that it would become true, and that her opinion of him wouldn't change as drastically as it had with—

"I'm really sorry for how Sirius treated you. He didn't tell me all that had really happened."

Beth shrugged and took another drink of her tea. "I've honestly been on worse dates."

"Well then, Beth, I hate to tell you this, but you desperately need to raise your standards."

Beth laughed before acting shocked, mockingly placing a hand on her heart. "Why Remus Lupin, you don't even know me."

Remus gave her a side eye, raising an eyebrow for good measure. "Yes, I do." At the look she gave him, he continued, "I've heard more about you in the past couple of weeks than I have the entire time I've known James, and he talked about you all the time in school. I know more about you than you would think."

"Well you have me at a disadvantage, then, because I know virtually nothing about you."

Remus pointed to her. "I'm glad you mentioned that actually, because that brings me to the next thing I have to say."

"Couldn't you have just said it instead of saying you needed to say it?" Beth asked, raising her eyebrows back at him.

"Fine," Remus replied, placing his cup down on the table in front of him. "Beth, go on a date with me."

Beth froze, unsure if she had heard him correctly. "What?"

"See," Remus pointed out, chuckling at her confused expression. "If you'd have waited, you'd of known why I said that, but you were so adamant to get to what I needed to say that—"

"Okay, okay, I get your point." Beth waved her hand, cutting him off. "Explain."

Remus leaned towards her. "I find you quite delightful, and I would love nothing more than to have an opportunity for you to get to know me better. However, I have no desire to seek out a girlfriend, and even if I was, Sirius, whether you like it or not, is entirely taken with you."

Beth nearly slammed her teacup onto the saucer. "He's what?"

"We'll get to that, I promise," Remus said, directing her attention back to his comment before. "James and Lily are going to keep insinuating and suggesting that we have to go on at least one outing together until the day we finally do. I say that day comes as soon as possible so that the comments go away. They may not bother you, but frankly I'm tired of it."

"Ah," Beth replied, a smirk coming onto her face. "So you're using me."

"Essentially, yes."

"And you're sure you don't mind kind of looking like a rebound?"

"I could honestly care less about what I bloody look like. I want peace."

Beth laughed, contemplating the idea. "So they would think we were going on a date—"

"—but we'll tell them at the end that we think we're better off as friends," Remus finished.

"Because Sirius is 'entirely taken' with me?"

"Ah, yes, that," Remus said. "I couldn't pursue you even if I wanted to at this state of infatuation. He's miserable over the fact that he messed it up with you."

Beth scoffed. "Yeah, I'm sure he's absolutely devastated."

"He is." Remus said it so confidently and forcefully that Beth knew better than to argue it again. "He's probably going to ask you out again. The question is, what will you say?"

Beth gaped at him. "Are you honestly suggesting I say anything but no?"

"I'm asking," Remus explained, "whether you will give Sirius another chance. I helped him create the plans he had for what was supposed to be your date. He's never put that much energy into planning one. I'm not lying when I say he's entirely taken with you, and the thing is, it's pretty clear to see that you're taken with him yourself."

Beth stared ahead, unsure of what to say back. "I'm still mad at him," she weakly argued.

Remus was having none of it. " _I'm_ mad at him. Wasting an opportunity with someone as lovely as you? I'd never let that go if I were you. So hold it over his head, make him feel awful, make him a weak mess every time he thinks about it, but decide now what you're going to say, because I'm fairly confident he'll ask again. If you let him, he'll treat you right, because he knows that he ruined it the first time. No, he didn't tell me all the details of what happened, but he did keep saying, 'I messed it up, I messed it up.' He'll spend whatever time you have together trying to elicit your forgiveness, and will make sure that you're treated like a queen in all the moments in between."

Beth looked towards Remus, fiddling her hands together as she spoke. "Isn't it kind of backwards to ask me on a date and then tell me that your friend will be wonderful with me?

Remus laughed. "What, they don't do it that way in the states?"

Beth rolled her eyes and shook her head no. After a moment, she looked up at him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Remus replied.

"When you said it was pretty clear that I liked him too, how could you tell?"

He smiled at her. "Because despite all of the rubbish he put you through, not once did you say you hated him for it. You said you'd been on worse dates, which means you've tried to normalize all the events that occurred with him. You're mad at him, but you're not livid, and while I'm certain you have a few choice words you'd like to say to him, you would have included it in the story if you meant them. In conclusion," Remus said, throwing his hands up slightly, "I think you fancy him still. Am I wrong?"

Beth shook her head before she sighed loudly. "Are you going to make me tell you what I decide?"

"No." Remus picked up his cup and took a sip. "I imagine you won't even have an answer until the next time you see him. Until then," Remus stood up, taking his tea with him and talking again in a slightly louder voice, "you can rest assured knowing that you have an amazing date waiting for you say, Friday night?"

"YOU HAVE A DATE WITH REMUS?" James yelled from down the hall, footsteps quickly following it.

Beth quickly glanced at the hallway before meeting Remus' gaze with a smile and a nod. "Friday night," she confirmed.

James burst through the opening, slapping Remus on the back before racing to the telephone. "I HAVE TO CALL LILY!"

* * *

A/N: Seem a little out of character? Trust me, I've got a much better explanation for things later on in the story than the pathetic one Remus gave. This whole story strives to be as canon as a fanfiction with a made up character can be, so stick with me!

I hope you all have had, continue to have, or do have the best day imaginable. You all are such amazing, incredible people, and I cherish each and every one of you reading, reviewing, favoriting, or following this story. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Up next, Sirius comes back to find out Beth is out with Remus. Should be an interesting interaction, don't you think?


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

"Well, I can't say I'm not excited to see you," Lily said as she opened the door.

Sirius immediately swooped her into a hug, holding her just as tightly as she was with him. "Oh please," he replied, rocking them from side to side slightly as he continued to hug her. "You know my loss would devastate you."

"Yeah, I'd have to listen to James complain about it for the rest of my sodding life."

Sirius pulled back, returning the grin she was giving him easily. He watched as Lily looked him completely over, knowing in an instant that she was looking for any sign of injury. "You're alright though?" she asked after a quick inspection, concern flashing through her eyes.

He nodded. "I'm fine." Lily offered him a smile, and though Sirius knew she would never admit to it to his face, the softness spoke volumes about how grateful she was to hear it.

"So then why didn't you send us a bloody owl to tell us you were?" James demanded, joining them in the room. "The least you could do was write."

Sirius clapped his friend on the back, laughing at his reaction. "What, and give away where I was hiding?"

"Well—"

"Not to mention you have a muggle living here. I'm fairly certain she would notice an owl sitting in the kitchen."

"Okay, okay, you've made your point." James led the way towards the kitchen, wrapping an arm around Lily's shoulders along the way. "You don't need to be such a tosser about it."

"So where _did_ Dumbledore send you?" Lily asked, interfering the small spat. "He mentioned that it wasn't a usual assignment, but that was all he said."

Sirius shrugged, turning the corner into the kitchen. "Nowhere fancy. Somewhere in the outskirts of France. There had been reports of unusual activity, but the only thing I saw was a group of them at a pub."

"Who all was there?" James questioned.

"The usual lot," Sirius replied, rummaging through the cupboards for a glass. "Lucius Malfoy's hair is getting longer."

"You know, you always comment on how long his hair is," Lily pointed out. "Are you afraid he's going to end up with better hair than yours?"

"Lil, he just got back," James defended. "Give him a couple of minutes before you two start tearing into each other."

"Oi, I hugged him didn't I?""

"Just a couple more minutes," he assured her, pulling her hand up to his lips to press a quick kiss to it. Lily rolled her eyes, but smiled at her fiancé before turning her attention back towards Sirius. "So, Lucius Malfoy?" James urged him.

Sirius nodded, moving to fill his glass with water. "Narcissa was there with him."

"Oh, right," James said. "He's family now, isn't he?"

Sirius scoffed lightly before taking a drink of his water. "He's not family," he mumbled, keeping his eyes focused downward. He knew the sad stares that would follow what he said, and the last thing he desired was sympathy regarding the people he was related to. Crossing an arm across his chest, he added, "The group was too large for me to do any real damage on my own, and they don't exactly let dogs into pubs, so I hardly picked up anything."

"Wait, were you a dog the entire time?"

Sirius raised his eyes, smirking at James. "That's the prize of choosing an inconspicuous animagus, Prongs."

James went on a tangent regarding their animagus being based on their patronus rather than their choice, but Sirius tuned it out. The flat was much more quiet than it should have been. Based on the time, Beth should have at least been back, let alone pestering him for their past night together. He was admittedly grateful to not have to face her wrath, but her presence was missed.

He had spent the better part of his assignment trying to concoct the words he needed to say to ask for her forgiveness. Their attempt at a date had been absolutely ruined, and though he had tried to place the blame on her, he knew the truth. How he was going to weasel his way out of this mess, he wasn't sure, but he knew he had to speak to her. Whether he cared to admit it or not, he had missed her deeply, almost to the same extent as he had everyone else. The small amount of time they had spent together thus far had made an impression on him, and he found that he genuinely missed her company.

Granted, he also missed the way her face fit so perfectly into his hands as he would lift it slightly to brush—

"—and Beth once told me that deer were some of the greatest creations on Earth, so try to compete with that."

Sirius inclined his head slightly, trying not to show too much of an interest for appearances' sake. "Where is Beth?"

Lily's face lit up with a glee that he hadn't seen her express since James' proposal. "She's on a date with Remus."

Instantly, all thoughts of gently trying to persuade her to go out with him vanished as the shocking truth settled in. "She's _what?_

"Yeah, he asked her to dinner a couple of days ago. They've been saying all this stuff like 'the heart wants what it wants,' and 'maybe it's meant to be' all week." Lily smiled victoriously at her fiancé, who was giving her the same smile back. "It couldn't be any more perfect."

"But I fancy her," Sirius said, his mind still racing to wrap around the fact that he was about to lose out on Beth to _Remus Lupin_. He might have been one of his best friends, but Merlin alive was the man about to be hexed into oblivion. How could he?! He knew all about how he felt! Yes, he had taken a couple of liberties when it came to the events of their date, but that didn't mean that Remus could come in and steal her away while he was gone.

"What do you mean, you fancy her?" James questioned, concern washing over his face. "Since when?"

"Since always, you dolt," Sirius accused. "A blind person could see it. Now you've went and sent Remus on her trail—"

"Because Remus would be good for her," Lily stated. "They get along magnificently. You should see the way they interact with each other."

Sirius rubbed his face with his hands before looking at James. "Where are they?"

James shook his head. "You can't go after her. She's on a date."

Sirius laughed loudly in exasperation. "She was on a date with me not even a week ago."

"The wedding?"

"Yes," Sirius said, pointing his finger at the two of them. "The wedding was a date no matter what she says, but then we went on another one Sunday evening and I messed it up. I've spent this whole trip trying to think up a way to win her back."

"She's not a prize, Sirius," Lily scolded. "She's a human being. She can make her own choices, and right now she's _choosing_ to be on a date with Remus. You can't fight that."

Sirius threw his head back, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. "I want to."

"But you said you messed it up," James noted. "She gave you a chance."

Sirius grabbed his friend by the shoulders, meeting him at eye level. Taking a breath, he thought back to the monologue James had given him once after a particularly bad rejection by Lily. Sirius had begged him to stop the madness, to give her up and move on with his life. The response James had given him had stopped him from ever questioning his interest in her ever again, and Sirius worked hard to pull the words from his memory.

"James," he began, speaking quietly and slowly. "I cannot stop pursuing someone who will not stop entering my mind. I have to chase every opportunity I have and hope that she'll say yes. I will continue to do this until I am sure the chance is gone, so don't try to stop me."

James stared into his eyes, recognition flashing before the emotion went blank. Sirius maintained the eye contact, hoping against all odds that James would give him _something_ , _anything._ Lily was standing beside him, her arms crossed and her face flared, obviously trying to signal James to dissuade any thoughts he had.

Ignoring her expression, he stared deeper, trying to reach his friend. "James," he whispered, doing his best to dissuade any and all anger he felt at the moment. "Let me try."

James tore his eyes away, looking down at the ground for a moment before glancing towards Lily. Sirius saw her slightly shake her head. He felt himself deflate slightly, knowing that his chances were dwindling. He knew why she was so against it. He didn't exactly have a history of positive interactions with girls. He had thought he could get away with it with Beth too; whoo her into giving up as much as she could offer, then say goodbye when it was time to leave. It had almost worked, too, until his decision to get drunk interfered. Sure, he liked her, but this was his normal procedure.

When she had so brazenly objected to his advances, he'd been put off to say the least. It was what they had arranged, what they had agreed to—or so he thought. She had made it incredibly clear that she wanted nothing to do with him, but he had remembered seeing a tinge of sadness reach her eyes. No tears, no, but disappointment at the way he had been acting was anything but hidden. That face she made had haunted him throughout all of Dumbledore's assignment, and it had taken less than twenty four hours for him to realize that he wanted to do this relationship for real.

Now, the only thing that was standing between him and absolute happiness was Remus Lupin, if he could ever figure out where he was. The absolute nerve of this man. How could he knowingly pursue someone he was so taken with?!

After a moment longer, James met his gaze. "The diner down the street."

"James!" Lily exclaimed, but Sirius ignored her.

"Thank you," he said, offering him a small smile. Immediately, Sirius apparated to the diner, ready to confront his friend.

* * *

"What in Merlin's name is going on here?!" Sirius shouted the second he walked through the door. He didn't even make notice of where the godforsaken couple were sitting until he had stomped entirely through, finally making eye contact with a wide-eyed Beth and an exasperated-looking Remus. Striding over to them, he pointed a finger at Remus. "You!"

"And here I was concerned you weren't doing well," Remus murmured.

"Oh shove off, Lupin," Sirius snarled. He looked over at Beth, despair crowding his face. "What are _you_ doing here with him?"

"I'm eating dinner," Beth commented calmly as she motioned to her plate. Her peacefulness inflamed him, and he felt his resolve slipping as he noticed how at ease she looked.

"I thought we had made an arrangement," he confronted.

"We made a date _,_ and you ruined it," Beth replied, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Then," Remus interjected, "you led me to believe that it was her fault that the date ended badly."

Sirius stared at the two of them, taking a moment to compose himself before continuing. "Okay," he said, throwing his hands up slightly. "So maybe I forgot a couple of details—"

"A couple of details," Remus mumbled under his breath, chuckling slightly. "You left out the entire part where you showed up drunk."

"So, what?" Sirius asked, all of his attempt at calmly trying to win Beth back vanishing as anger began clouding his mind. "You're just going to go on a date with her immediately afterwards and trash talk someone who's always been there for you—"

"We're not on a date."

Sirius whipped his head towards Beth, immediately stopping his sentence and taking in the girl he was fighting for so hard. She simply raised her eyebrows and took a sip of her water, waiting for him to respond. "You're what?" he finally asked, feeling some of the anger disappear as the sentence started to sink in.

"We're not actually on a date," Beth repeated, giving Remus a small smile. "We're doing this to get James and Lily off our backs. It was all his idea."

"Well, you did play along very nicely," Remus added, leaning in on his elbows. "That line you gave, the 'there's only one way to find out what the heart truly wants,' was _inspired._ "

"You had a good one too, though, " Beth noted. "When you said 'I'm sure love will find me when I quit looking,' and James and Lily acted like it wasn't the most cliché response in the books."

Sirius shook his head, glancing at the two sitting in front of him. "So you're not, I mean, you're not—"

Remus sighed. "Honestly, Sirius, you think I'm going to pursue the girl you couldn't quit talking about the day after you met her? What kind of a friend do you take me as?"

Sirius smiled at Beth, who was still giving him raised eyebrows but whose face was slightly softening. Looking towards Remus, he replied, "A rather good one, I suppose."

"A rather good one?" Remus clarified, standing up from his chair. "If I didn't value our friendship so much, you'd have a run for your money with her." Giving Beth a teasing smile, he finished, "Now, your 'rather good' friend is going to take a couple of minutes outside while the two of you work this nonsense out, and when I come back, there better be a general consensus about where the two of you stand. Am I clear?"

Sirius took a step back, eyeing the man in front of him. "What do you mean, am I—"

"Am. I. Clear?" Remus repeated, staring him down with an impressive intensity. Sirius hid a chuckle as he nodded his response back, Beth, in turn, doing the same. "Good."

Beth and Sirius watched him walk out of the restaurant for a moment, impressed by his suddenly firm stance. "He would be a good teacher," Beth said, her eyes still focused on the door he walked out of.

"Yeah, he would," Sirius nodded. Looking back at the girl seated at the table, he took a deep breath. If he wanted this to work, it would have to be crafted and worded in such a way that Cupid himself would be jealous. Motioning to Remus' empty seat, he asked, "Is this seat taken?"

Beth sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "Apparently not."

"Great," Sirius said, sitting down across from her.

"Listen, Sirius," Beth immediately began, positioning herself so that she was leaning onto the table. "I don't know what you were thinking showing up to that date drunk, but I won't accept a mediocre apology for it. If you're here to say you want to continue whatever 'friends-with-benefits' bull crap you had concocted in your mind, then you might as well leave now."

"I don't want that," Sirius stated, and he realized in that instant that it was completely true. Emboldened by this revelation, he repeated, "I don't want that."

"Oh?" Beth asked. "Then what do you want?"

"Well," he said, chuckling slightly to himself. "Ideally it would involve you and I doing unspeakable things to each other every night—"

Beth reached down for her purse. "Goodbye, Sirius."

"—but in reality," he continued, causing her to pause. "I would ask for your forgiveness for the awful behavior I displayed and for you to try not to hate me."

Sirius watched as her focus immediately intensified, staring into what felt like was his very soul. She sat there motionless for what felt like an eternity, and though Sirius tried to maintain her gaze, he felt himself starting to get nervous under her scrutiny.

"I don't hate you," Beth finally said. "I wish I did, but I don't."

Sirius felt his grin forming the second she started speaking. "You don't?"

"I'm mad at you."

"I can work with mad," he responded almost too quickly. Meeting her smile, he was about to ask her if they could remain friends, already planning a way to win her over, when she interrupted his thoughts.

"I like you, Sirius." She spoke confidently, meeting his eyes directly with a determination that he had yet to see matched. "I think you're clever and funny and obnoxiously handsome, and I think we would work well together. I know James and Lily think differently, but I also know think that we know ourselves better than they know us."

"Wait," he said, motioning with his hand. "Go back to the part where you said I was clever and funny and what?"

"However," Beth said, hiding her smile as best as she could before straightening her face completely, "the way you treated me the other night was not acceptable. I will not allow myself to be treated that way again. If you want another chance, it has to be an all in effort, not some halfhearted make-out session in the coat closet or whatever it was that you had planned. I'm not expecting you to promise me forever, but I'm going to need something more open, honest, and doesn't make me question my choices."

Sirius took in her words, realizing that they had both come to the same conclusion about how to possibly give this another shot. She was right. James and Lily knew nothing about how they worked together. "You're giving me another chance?"

Beth smiled, and _sweet Merlin,_ did he miss that smile. "I'm opening up the opportunity to you. If you don't want it, that's absolutely fine. We'll be friends, and I'll start writing you letters too when I go back to the states, with the understanding of course that I'll be telling everyone about the worst date I ever went on."

"You're giving me another chance," Sirius repeated, stating it rather than questioning it.

Beth eyed him, shyly but directly. "Do you want it?"

Sirius grabbed her hand and cradled it between his two, trying to curb the overwhelming amount of enthusiasm he felt as he spoke. "Beth, will you pretty please with a cherry on top be my girlfriend?"

Beth recoiled slightly, confusing Sirius. "Whoa, wait, girlfriend?"

"Isn't that what you wanted?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

Sirius saw a tinge of red coming to her cheeks, and though he knew it was out of embarrassment, he couldn't help but think how adorable it made her look. "You do realize I'm leaving in two months, right?"

Sirius nodded his head assuredly. "I'm aware."

"And you still want to?"

Laughing, he replied, "Beth, if you're trying to talk me out of this, I don't think it's going to work."

"I'm not trying to—"

"Alright then," he interrupted, knowing he didn't want to get into an argument. "Be my girlfriend for at least two months."

Beth blushed again, biting her lip quickly. "At least?"

"I'm optimistic."

Leaning in to the table more, she asked, "You think you can manage having a girlfriend?"

"Absolutely."

"You think you can manage to not show up to dates drunk?"

Sirius threw up his hands, rolling his eyes before looking back at her. "That was one time."

Beth scoffed. "It was the _only_ time."

Sirius rolled his eyes again, but grabbed a hold of her other hand. "Fine. I won't show up to dates drunk again."

She smiled warmly, moving her thumbs in small circles over the tops of his hands. "And you'll treat me like a girlfriend and not some floozy you're only going to see for the summer?"

"I will treat you so well that James will be ashamed of how he's treating Lily."

She laughed, squeezing his hand tightly. "Then yes."

Sirius froze, her agreement slowly beginning to sink in as a smile crept onto his own face. "Yes?" he asked, needing the verification that he hadn't imagined her response.

Beth nodded, her own smile simply overtaking her face. "Yes."

Sirius moved his hands to interlace his fingers with hers, but his hands were the only thing that he could manage to move. His eyes were stuck on the girl, _his girlfriend_ , sitting in front of him. _Who would have thought one bad date would lead to this overwhelming amount of happiness?_

"Crap," Beth mumbled under her breath, disrupting his happy thoughts. "We forgot something."

"What's that?" Sirius asked, his voice riddled with concern.

"We have to tell James and Lily now."

"Well, they know I'm here," he said. "James was the one who told me where your date was at."

"Yeah, but they didn't know I was fake dating Remus so that I could tell them it didn't work and for-real date you."

"Wait," Sirius said, shaking his head. " _All_ of this was a set up?"

Beth nodded. "We were coming up with ways to make you to apologize the second you walked through the door. I told you it was all his idea."

Sirius' face shifted slightly at the realization. He furrowed his brow. "And I just yelled at him, James, _and_ Lily for the whole mess."

Beth sighed. "Well, what are we going to do?"

"We should probably just go ahead and break up," Sirius offered teasingly, smiling slightly to himself when he saw Beth's eyes twinkle at the response. "That seems to be the only viable option."

"You're right," Beth replied, moving to stand up from her chair. "But we should probably still tell them that we were together, even if it was for such a short time."

Sirius stood up with her and pushed in his chair. "That seems reasonable." Beth smiled at his response _(Oh Merlin above, please don't let me ever tire of that smile)_ and reached her hand out for his, intertwining their fingers together yet again. The look she gave him that followed spoke entirely of newborn infatuation and happiness, and he was struck to the bone in an instant.

"I might have another idea of what we could do before that, though," she commented as they walked towards the exit.

"Oh?"

Beth leaned closer to him, her mouth coming up towards his ear. "We could not go tell them and instead go to the alley right next to here and make out."

Sirius had never dragged someone out of a room so fast in his life.

* * *

 **Summer 1996**

"And that's how Sirius and Beth started dating," Remus said, reaching for his cup of slightly colder tea.

Harry nodded slightly to himself. Remus noticed that the boy's features and body had softened significantly since he started talking, though the traces of sadness were still apparent. Remus had a feeling that they would stay there for a while, especially considering how hard he had taken the loss. He would have to talk to Molly before he left about that, though he was certain that a batch of her cookies would significantly help the situation.

"Why didn't he ever mention her?" Harry asked. "I mean, I know I didn't get to spend an immense amount of time with him, but I would have figured that it would have come up eventually."

Remus took in a breath. There were too many details, too many stories to tell, too many painful memories that came as the answer to that question. "A lot changed after he returned from Azkaban," he replied. "You know that."

Harry looked down at his hands, fidgeting with them slightly. "Yeah, I suppose so," he agreed. Remus couldn't help but overhear the dejection ringing in his voice, and felt his heart clench slightly.

 _He wants answers,_ a voice rang through his head.

 _Yes, I know what he wants, Sirius,_ Remus snapped back. _But you didn't want to tell him about her either._

"That can't possibly be it."

Sirius and Harry turned their heads simultaneously to find Hermione standing in the corner of the room. Her arms were folded across her chest, a look of disbelief crossing her face. "You can't possibly start a story with, 'Did you know Sirius almost got married?' and end it with 'a lot changed after he returned from Azkaban'."

"Were you listening the entire time?" Harry questioned.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I've had those extendable ears the twins made on you since the first night you arrived here. Did you honestly think Mrs. Weasley was the only one worried about you?"

"Well, no—"

"In fact," another voice piped in, "I'm pretty sure it was us that suggested Professor Lupin come."

Remus watched as Ron came out from behind the hallway, walking confidently into the living room. Hermione followed him instantly, both of them coming to sit opposite Remus and Harry. Remus felt himself become baffled by their sudden intrusion, asking them, "How long have you been listening?"

"With all due respect," Harry butted in, "I think this qualifies more as eavesdropping."

Hermione ignored Harry's comment completely and faced Remus. "I've been over there since you came in," Hermione casually replied. "Ron came around about the time of the beginning of the wedding."

Remus stared ahead at his former students, realizing now that they were blocking the view of the window he'd been using when he wanted to avoid eye contact. He quickly glanced around, hoping to find something else to stare at. It was one thing to tell this story to Harry; he _was_ Sirius' godson. It was an entirely different matter to tell two completely uninvolved people about the intimate details of a stranger's life. Suddenly, the need to forget everything about her came back into mind, his instincts running to shut off every memory that came up.

"It's not like Harry wasn't going to tell us later," Ron finished. "Us being here simply takes out the middleman."

Hermione nodded. "Plus it's an interesting story. I don't think anybody knew about this."

"There was a reason for that," Remus mumbled, choosing to stare down at the floor. In his mind, Beth was sitting next to him on a couch, an empty glass of wine standing on the table beside her. Remus squeezed his eyes shut. He'd forgotten all about that night.

"You're going to finish it though, right?" Hermione prodded.

Remus brought his focus back to the people in front of him, smirking slightly to himself at Hermione's beckoning. "I'd forgotten how inquisitive you were."

"We haven't," Ron muttered with a smile, instantly retracting it when Hermione elbowed him in the side. The comment elicited a smile from Harry, though, and the young man's face quickly showed no signs of distress as he watched the two bicker back and forth.

Remus took in the sight, knowing immediately how reminiscent it was of the many times he had sat opposite Sirius and Beth doing the exact same thing. Harry was noticeably more at peace with his friends beside him, obviously enjoying the distraction of life's most recent events through the banter of his friends. Remus had repeatedly put himself in the same situation, using the two's useless—but compelling—arguments over small things to distract himself from the pain of the full moon. He watched as Harry joined in, making some comment about how he wouldn't be surprised to find out that she'd cost them more house points than anyone else. Hermione immediately retaliated, laughing as she threw back a reply, and Remus found himself becoming more at peace.

 _Don't you go replacing us now, Moony_ , Sirius scolded him.

 _Or at least find friends your own age,_ James added.

"Anyway," Hermione said sharply, looking expectantly towards Remus. "Will you finish it?"

Remus breathed in deeply. "You honestly want to hear the rest of it?" The three of them nodded their heads assuredly. Remus eyed them all, giving them the same stern look he'd given them in his classroom. "You're not just saying that to make me feel important or needed or whatever else Molly told you?"

Ron sat back a little, surprised at his deduction. "You knew my mum was in on this?"

Remus raised his eyebrow. "Are you honestly going to tell me your mother isn't listening in on this conversation as we speak?"

"I am not!" a muffled yell came from upstairs, followed by the scurrying of feet.

Remus smiled to himself and nodded as the other three began to laugh. "Yeah, I thought so."

They all sat in silence for a moment afterwards, Hermione and Ron obviously waiting for him to begin again. Remus remained speechless, however, hoping his silence would diminish the desire to hear the remainder of the story. He probably would have gotten his way, too, had Harry not broken the silence with, "I'd like to hear the rest, too."

Remus turned towards James' son, whose composure was still full of more despair than a boy his age should have. Remus couldn't have denied him even if he wanted to. Sighing reluctantly, he asked, "You would?"

"I would," Harry affirmed, situating himself into a more comfortable position on the sofa, an expectant expression overtaking the previously sad one.

Remus rubbed his hands over his face, allowing the memories, thoughts, and emotions to come back to him. There were so many elements he couldn't tell, didn't know how to tell, or, on principle, wouldn't tell. As they all came flooding back, though, he found himself helpless to it all. The smiles, the laughter, even the heartache, it all lead to who he was today. To omit anything would be to omit a part of himself.

Shifting himself back in time to several years before, he nodded softly. "Okay."

* * *

A/N: Hello all! I am floored by your kind words, favorites, and follows. Thank you for following this little story of mine!

Chapter 14 has just been sent to the illustrious nimblescrivener, and guys, let me tell you, it's a game changer for this fic. The whole chapter was her idea actually, so huge snaps to her for getting me out of writer's block.

I will do everything in my power to update soon. Stick with me!

Up next, a budding romance is in the air. I hope you have dental insurance, because it's sweet enough to get a cavity.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12.

 **Summer 1979.**

"We went to the beach, we watched the sunset, I got this beautiful tan; it was essentially all I could have asked for."

Beth smiled as Caitlin reached down to take another bite of her sandwich. She'd been making attempts to pick it back up ever since their conversation about her honeymoon started, but no progress was ever made. Smiling wider, Beth watched Caitlin pick it up, bring it up to her mouth, before shouting "Oh!" again and placing it back down.

"Did I tell you about the drummer we met?" Beth shook her head no, though Caitlin had already begun to recount the story. "Okay, so we were walking down the beach on our first day there and this guy comes out of nowhere, right? He looks at us and goes, 'please, I need to find some dancers for my show.' Originally, Tom flat out said no and started to walk away, but the guy grabbed my hand and started begging me to help. I tell Tom to hear him out, you know, see what he has to say, and long story short, we ended up dancing on a stage in front of at least two hundred people."

"Two hundred people?" Beth repeated.

" _Two hundred people,_ " Caitlin nodded, her hands moving down towards her sandwich again. "Turns out people really enjoy watching people dance to drumming there. Who knew?"

"Was it the people living there or the tourists?"

"That doesn't matter," Caitlin replied, waving her hand. "The point is that there were at least two hundred people watching us, and it was exhilarating. It was all Tom could talk about for days."

Beth laughed, knowing that the chances of _Tom_ being the one not being able to stop talking about it were slim. Caitlin took her laugh as encouragement, however, and managed to take a bite of her sandwich before beginning to talk again.

"Honestly, though, whenever you get married, at least consider going there. It was wonderful."

Beth smirked and reached for her drink. "I think I've still got a while to go before I have to start planning out my honeymoon."

Caitlin raised her eyebrows. "Oh, you think so?"

"I know so," Beth responded immediately, pausing afterwards to take a drink. "I'm missing some crucial monumental events like becoming engaged. That usually leads up to it, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," Caitlin replied, picking up her sandwich again. "By the way, who are those flowers from on your desk?"

Beth rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but smile at her friend's comment. "They're from Sirius."

Caitlin nodded. "Right, so as I was saying, June is the _perfect_ time to go there, and you could possibly dance for two hundred people."

Beth found her cheeks getting warm as Caitlin continued to poke and prod about their relationship. It had been nearly two weeks since Sirius had interrupted her and Remus' "date," and it had been nothing short of cliché how wonderful the two weeks had been.

It had all started immediately with a date to remedy the disastrous first one they'd had. James had been sitting on the couch, waiting for Sirius to arrive to give him the "have her back by 10:00" speech, which had been met with a surprising amount of sincerity on Sirius' part. James had tried his hardest to maintain the role of the strict father, but Beth had seen his resolve breaking. When they finally got up to leave, James' twinkle was so bright in his eye that Beth had been certain it would be visible from space.

The second the door had closed, Beth found herself tangled into Sirius' embrace. She couldn't have helped but smile at the feeling of his strong arms around her, and she _giggled_ when he gently kissed her cheek. Grabbing her hand, he had led her to his bike with a large grin adorning his face, and Beth couldn't help but feel pride at knowing that she had put it there.

"So," Beth had asked as she snapped his extra helmet onto her head, "what do you have planned?"

Sirius had waved his eyebrows. "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Well, I'd like to know whether or not it's going to end in as much of a disaster as the first one did."

Sirius had rolled his eyes. "Our first date didn't end in disaster, though."

Beth had scoffed as she had climbed into the seat behind him. "Do you need a reminder of how it went?"

"No," Sirius had said. "I just remember walking you back to Prongs' flat, both of us announcing we fancied each other, and snogging you senseless."

Beth had punched his arm lightly. " _That_ wasn't a date."

She could have sworn she heard his grin before she heard his laugh, though she still wasn't sure how. Turning his head slightly towards her, he had argued, "Yes, it was," before revving the engine loudly and blasting onto the street.

Several minutes later, Beth had found herself standing in the very spot they had watched the sunset several weeks ago. Grinning at him widely, she had asked, "Is this supposed to be a recreation of that first time we came here?"

Sirius had smirked, bringing out a picnic basket from the small compartment on the back of his bike. "You think it's that obvious, huh?"

Beth had eyed the basket knowingly before looking back at him. "Oh, yes, I see," Beth had replied, the sarcasm positively dripping. "The picnic makes it an entirely different event. There's no chance at all this could be anything related to the first time we were here."

"Well, I'm glad you think that, because it's not."

She had raised her eyebrow. "It's not?"

Sirius had shook his head. "Our actual date will take place over there."

Beth had followed where his finger was pointing, her face furrowing into confusion when she saw the large wooded area in front of them. "Where?"

"There," he had repeated, waving his hand in front of them. "In whichever tree you end up choosing."

"Wait, what?"

Sirius had grinned widely this time, and Beth felt him absolutely bask in her confusion. "We're going tree climbing."

And tree climbing, they did. Beth looked at her hands as Caitlin continued to prod and make jokes about how she was the one who got them together. The calluses that had stood out so prominently the day after their date were almost gone now. Of that she was thankful, particularly for Caitlin not being there that day. She could only imagine the kind of jokes she would have had to endure about callused hands and new boyfriends.

"Has he taken you on any other dates?" Caitlin asked, reaching for her drink.

Beth nodded. "We went out to dinner a few nights ago. Most of the times we're together we're either with James and Beth or Remus, though. I'm meeting his friend Peter tonight, too."

"Are you doing anything fun after?"

"I don't think so," Beth replied. "He knows I have to be here tomorrow, so we try not to do anything too wild during the week."

"But on the weekends…" Caitlin said suggestively, letting her statement trail off with a wave of her eyebrows.

"Shut up," Beth laughed, reaching for her drink to try and hide her smile. "Is your sex life already so boring that you need to involve yourself in mine?"

Caitlin laughed with her, rolling her eyes comedically. "I mean, if you want me to talk about how bloody brilliant my husband is in bed, I can certainly—"

"No, no, no, that's okay," Beth insisted, raising her hands in surrender.

"Then tell me," Caitlin pushed, leaning further into the table and lowering her voice. "Are you getting serious with Sirius?"

Beth chuckled before shaking her head. "No, we're not doing anything."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not going to sleep with him to make you happy, you nut," Beth said laughing. "Plus, we hardly know each other!"

That wasn't entirely true.

Beth recalled a moment the two of them had shared in their fourth tree they'd climbed. They were both perched onto a branch facing the direction of the city, though their focus was unashamedly on each other.

"What do you think of this one?" Sirius had asked, swinging the basket hanging on his foot slightly.

"It's pretty sturdy," Beth had responded, knocking on the branch. "I think we could go higher up if we wanted to."

"But then we wouldn't get to watch the sunset."

Beth had turned her head towards him. "I thought you said that this was different from that time we first came here."

"It is," he had insisted, motioning his hand around them. "We're in a tree."

"Oh, excuse me for not seeing the shockingly obvious difference."

"Yeah, you would have thought you'd catch on to that after at most the third one we climbed."

Beth had let a small laugh out as she stared at the man sitting beside her. Taking in a deep breath, she had torn her gaze away from him unwillingly, taking a moment to absorb her surroundings. "This is fun."

"What is?"

" _This_ ," she had replied. "I haven't ever been on a date like this before. It's fun. I like it."

"I knew you would."

Beth had jokingly glared at him for his matter-of-fact response, and had seen him not even attempt to hide his growing smile. "Oh really?"

"Yes, really," he had stated, finally meeting her gaze. "I know you much better than you think."

"You know what you've heard from James."

"No, I'm just that good."

"Oh?" Beth had shifted so that she was straddling the branch, her whole body turned towards him. "Then prove it."

Sirius had given her _that_ look again, and she had felt it land in the bottom of her stomach. She had met it with a genuine smile before she could even consider doing it, and had found herself entranced by the focused look in his eyes. He'd sat there for a moment longer before shifting himself too, taking great care to keep the basket balanced on his foot.

"I know that you love the color red."

She had shaken her head. "Take one look around my room and you'd know that. That's obvious."

"I know that you like horses."

"Every girl likes horses."

Sirius had shook his head. "My mother doesn't."

"She doesn't?"

"No, but that's too much of a story to get into right now." Beth had opened her mouth to push for more information, but Sirius had continued, "I know that you like to read."

"But do you know what I'm reading now?"

" _The Glass Menagerie_ ," Sirius had responded immediately. Beth had bit her lip in a useless attempt to hide her smile. "I actually picked it up and read a bit of it while you were in the loo earlier."

"Did you really?"

"Yeah, didn't hold my interest at all."

Beth had nodded, her smile now glaringly obvious. "What else do you know?"

Sirius had shifted forward, now less than an arm's length away from her. Beth had felt her breath hitch in her chest slightly at his proximity, but hadn't dared move away. "I know that you love Frank Sinatra but also The Beatles. I know that you like the rain more than you like the sun. I know that you order a salad simply for the croutons. I know that you like your eggs scrambled, fuzzy socks, and every time I reach for your hand."

She had looked down at her hands that moment, unsurprised to see them already joined. "I know," he had begun again, her eyes raising on instinct to watch him speak, "that you like playing with my hands more than you like simply holding them. I know that you like when I hold you a little tighter in my arms before I let you go. I know that you like when I brush a strand of hair behind your ear, but that you like it even more when my hand moves down to cup your cheek." Sirius' voice had become lower, as though he was trying to tell her a secret, and he had moved even closer to her to do the very action he just described.

"I know that you close your eyes if I move to kiss your cheek." She had found herself doing just that as he leaned in and did just that. "Or your forehead." Another kiss. "Your nose." Another. "Your shoulder." She had breathed in heavily. "Your—"

She hadn't let him finish, opting instead to spring her lips onto his, and had relished in how quickly he responded. She had leaned into him, throwing an arm around his neck while her other hand came up to rest upon his cheek, and she had kissed him, hungrily but calmly. His grip had tightened around her back, one hand sliding up to tangle in her hair, and she had moaned when his tongue met hers.

And that's when a large crash had been heard.

Quickly, they had sprang apart, looking around for noise before finally settling their sight on the ground below them. There had lied the picnic basket, the food unceremoniously spread out in a large mess. Beth had laughed loudly as Sirius put his head in his hands.

"It had to happen right in the middle of me trying to be romantic," he had complained.

"Hey, hey, hey," Beth had said, gently guiding his gaze back to her. "I thought it was incredibly romantic."

They had sat there for a moment more, simply taking in each other's gaze before Sirius had reached out and moved a strand of hair back behind her ears. He had been right. She did love it.

"I know that you like me," he had said quietly, never taking his eyes away from her.

She had smiled. "I most certainly do."

Suddenly, Beth's momentary flashback was startled when the lady with the pink pantsuit walked in, a large file that Beth immediately recognized in her hand. "Excuse me, Beth?"

"Yes?"

She held up the file. "Did you do this?"

Beth quickly met Caitlin's gaze, unsure how to respond. "Yes, I did."

The lady with the pink pantsuit nodded and looked down at it again. "Are you aware that this is not done in accordance with the procedure outlined for you to follow and that this makes the second time you have deviated from it?"

Beth gulped before nodding her head slightly. "I am, yes. I modified it."

"Why?"

The lady with the pink pantsuit was standing with her arms folded across her chest, an unreadable expression glaring across her face. Beth took in a shaky breath. "The procedure had me filing everything in an unintelligible way. I modified it to put everything in alphabetical order."

"Despite the fact that we've been doing it in the outlined way since the beginning of this company?"

"Yes," Beth said, trying to maintain a calm voice. "I talked with the other people in my cubicle, and they all expressed their hardship with trying to find the files needed. The system works, but this is much more convenient for the sake of the company. By doing this, I'm able to save the company as a whole more time since everything will be in it's prescribed place."

The lady with the pink pantsuit nodded solemnly before opening the file once more. Beth felt her heart sink into her stomach as she looked towards Caitlin, fear dancing in her eyes. Caitlin shrugged, though fear was splayed across her face as well. In silence, they waited for the woman to speak.

After several long moments, she looked up. "See to it that the remainder of the files are alphabetized. I expect it done before you leave today."

Beth closed her eyes briefly and let out a sigh of relief, nodding to assure the lady in the pink pantsuit that it would be done. "I'll start the second I'm done with lunch," she promised.

With a huff, the lady in the pink pantsuit walked away, leaving Beth alone with Caitlin. "Well, it looks like you did something right," Caitlin exclaimed happily, patting her on the arm.

Beth rubbed her hand over her face. "Yeah," she confirmed. "I guess so."

Caitlin leaned in towards her again, her voice no louder than a whisper. "I'll bet Sirius will _congratulate_ you when you get home."

"Oh, shut up," Beth laughed, though she already knew he would.

* * *

A/N: Hello my beautiful, wonderful readers! I'm so sorry for the delay. It is completely unfair to all of you for me to be so behind with this, something I am going to work hard to rectify. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this fluffy chapter! Trust me when I say that the fluffiness of this one will be needed for some upcoming chapters. That's right my friends, we're entering a legitimate plot (dun dun DUUUUUNNNNN).

Nimblescrivener, what would I do without you?

Up next, the Marauders help Lily plan her wedding. How much free reign do you think she's going to give them?


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13.

"You can't tell that story."

"It's a great story! People will love it."

"I don't care if they'd turn it into a bloody stage play, you're not telling it."

Sirius sighed and looked at his friend expectantly. "James?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Lily interrupted before James could reply. "You can't just ask James if you can override me. He's going to agree with me." Lily turned her head to face him too, settling her chin in her hand. "Right?"

James looked back and forth between Sirius and Lily several times before looking at his fiancée. "He makes a good point."

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, James," Lily said, leaning back into her chair and folding her arms. "You honestly want McGonagall to hear that story?"

"What is she going to do, give us detention?"

"You want to chance the idea that _won't_?"

Sirius watched James take in her retort for a minute before turning back to him. "She's right, Padfoot, we better nix it."

Sirius threw up his hands in exasperation. "McGonagall is not going to give you detention for this."

"We broke about ten rules in that instance alone," Remus said, coming back from the loo. "I wouldn't chance it either."

"But it's perfect," Sirius argued. "It completely encompasses just how vast James' love for you is and it teaches a good life lesson at the end."

"And what would that be?" Lily questioned, her eyes staring a hole into his head.

"Don't have sex in the common room."

Sirius and James laughed at Remus' quick remark, though Lily reached over and slapped his arm. "I expect more from you, Lupin."

"For the life of me, I don't understand why," Remus replied. "You do realize I was the one who figured out how to get around all those rules, right?"

"I could have gotten around them," Lily protested. "I was Head Girl, don't you forget."

"And yet it was always me the professors praised for intelligence."

Sirius laughed to himself as Lily continued to argue back and forth with Remus, moving to cross another story off of his list. They had been at this for almost two hours as Lily had decided she needed to screen what stories Sirius was planning to tell during his Best Man speech. So far, he was only allowed to mention the first day they all met and the day that James proposed. Every other occasion he had wished to talk about had been deemed "too inappropriate for a wedding," whatever that meant.

"I'm running out of stories, Lil," Sirius complained, looking at his nearly entirely crossed off list. "You've got to give me something."

"I told you what you could talk about," Lily replied, taking a drink of her water.

"I can't talk about your proposal."

"Why not?"

"Because everyone that will be at the wedding already knows how you got engaged."

Lily closed her eyes and rubbed her head with her hands. "Fine," she said. "I'll bargain with you. Change or take out anything that is or possibly could be taken the wrong way, and I'll let you use a couple of stories."

"Wait," Sirius stopped her. "I have to change it?"

"That takes out the entire point of telling the story," Remus said. "Why would you change what could arguably be the best part?"

"Look," Lily stated, leaning back into the table towards the group. "You can either take this or you can get over it and make people cry at how amazing James' proposal was. It's your choice."

Sirius looked back at his list, going over the stories he had written down. " _Anything_ that can be taken the wrong way?"

" _Anything."_

"So I should probably take out the insinuation that you like to ride horses?"

Lily paused for a moment, cocking her head to the side. "That I like to ride horses?" she repeated, confusion spreading over her face. James took a drink from the cup sitting in front of him.

"Yeah," Sirius replied, doing his best to keep his face straight. "James said that you two usually like to do it—"

"JAMES POTTER," Lily screamed as Remus began cackling next to him. James had nearly spit out his drink as the realization set in, and it didn't take long before he was joining in on the laughter too. Lily had thrown her head down onto the table in embarrassment, and while Sirius certainly felt sorry for being the source of it, he'd be lying if he said the feeling lasted long.

After several minutes of laughter had passed, Lily raised her head and glared at her fiancé. "Why would you tell him that?"

"He asked," James offered, but Lily had already begun groaning.

"Sirius, I swear, if you breathe a word of this or even slightly allude to it at my wedding, you'll have nothing left to offer any girl."

Sirius dramatically picked up the quill and scratched out the phrase, feeling his attempts at writing a killer best man speech quickly fading away. He took a moment to look at the remaining stories he had written down to offer up, quickly scratching out all but two. He felt Lily's contempt for this whole process begin to rise as she released an exasperated sigh, though he also heard James quietly snickering beside her. _Oh well,_ he thought. _At least I still have—_

"And I don't want any deer related jokes at my wedding either."

The whole table complained at that.

"Not a _single_ deer related joke." Lily crossed her arms tightly across her chest, eyeing the whole table as she continued. "The whole point of you all being unregistered animagi is that no one knows about it. If you keep making obvious references to it, people are bound to catch on. I'm not going to have my wedding be the cause for an investigation from Voldemort and his little friends."

Remus leaned in, folding his hands on the table. "Lily, you have to let them have the deer jokes. We've been coming up with puns for months."

"Years, if you count all the times before you two were officially engaged."

"And what are you going to do if there's someone acting as a spy and gives this information to him?" Lily questioned. "You don't tell jokes, you don't risk outing one of the biggest benefits the Order has."

"No," Sirius shook his head sullenly. "The deer jokes stay."

"Sirius," Lily actually whined, catching all of them off guard. "Not on my day, please. I am literally begging you."

"What's all this 'my wedding, my day' nonsense?" James asked, resting an arm around the back of Lily's chair. "It's our wedding."

Lily didn't even look at him, maintaining eye contact with Sirius, as she replied monotonously, "It's my day. Keep it up and you won't be invited."

Sirius grasped the hands of the woman sitting in front of him, pleading with her with his eyes. "Lily, please. I have so many jokes that you will find a-doe-able."

Lily groaned loudly. "That's it—"

"Okay, okay, that was a cheap shot, I'm sorry." Sirius tugged on her hands until she was looking at him again. "But come on, you've taken everything away from me. I've lost the best stories, the Quidditch references, and you've even taken James away from me." Sirius watched as Lily closed her eyes tightly, though he could tell she was having trouble not smiling over that last one. With a nod towards James, he continued. "Please, let me have the puns."

Lily met his gaze, her face strong and steady as she pondered over his argument. She squinted her eyes slightly before replying, "You get ten."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Twenty."

"Ten," Lily countered, her face unwavering.

"Fifteen."

"Ten."

Sirius stretched his neck to one side. "Twelve, final offer."

"Ten."

"Deal," Sirius said, reaching out his hand for her to shake.

Remus patted him on his shoulder. "Great job bargaining, Padfoot."

"Yeah, yeah," Lily rolled her eyes, standing up from her seat and stretching her arms out. "Wouldn't have needed to bargain if you had followed the rules correctly the first time."

"James was the one who gave me the rules," Sirius said as she took her glass back into the kitchen. "I followed everything correctly."

"Yeah, except for the part where I told you that James' rules don't count."

James' eyes followed her to the kitchen, a content smile coming to his face. "And they say romance is dead."

"Good thing we're still going strong, right Prongs?" Sirius teased, tossing him a flirtatious wink.

"I don't know," Remus replied, reaching for his cup. "Looks like the relationship that's still going strong is yours and Beth's."

"Oh yeah," Lily said, coming back into the room with a fresh glass of water. "Please, tell me how you haven't screwed this one up yet."

"Hey, not all of us can deny the fact we're attracted to one another before finally agreeing to date during our _seventh year_ ," Sirius retorted. Lily cast him a glare, though he once again saw the trace of a smile reaching her face. She returned to her spot at the table, scooting her chair closer to James and leaning her head on his shoulder.

"And now look at us," James responded, looking down at his shoulder. "Two months from getting married and arguing over deer puns." Sirius watched as Lily smiled softly, leaning into James' shoulder more when he kissed the top of her head.

Not to be outdone, Sirius said, "Yeah, well, Beth and I just went on a date that we didn't steal from you two, so beat that."

"Wow," Remus laughed. "It's becoming serious enough that we're going on actual dates with actual time invested now."

As James and Lily laughed along with him, Sirius held up his hands. "Okay, okay, so I haven't always had the best experience with girls, but I really fancy Beth. She's…" Sirius paused a moment, trying to find a word that best encapsulated the person he got to claim as his own. "She's wonderful," he finally decided, a smile sneaking its way onto his face. "What she sees in me, I'll never know."

" _We'll_ never know," Lily mumbled under her breath.

Sirius shifted his gaze to her to confront her, but was caught the off-guard look crossing James' face. "Wow," his friend softly exclaimed, staring at him deeper. "You're telling the truth, aren't you?"

Sirius laughed out loud and looked at Remus. "Where is this whole idea that I don't tell the truth coming from?"

"Probably from the countless lies you've told to get your way."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Please, name one."

"A month ago," Remus immediately began, "you told Dumbledore that you couldn't go on an assignment because you had an important engagement when you really were going to a concert."

Sirius looked at him incredulously. "It _was_ an important engagement."

"He told me to go instead and while I was gone, you met Beth. What if I had died?" Remus asked dramatically, clutching his hands over his heart.

"Yeah, well, you didn't," Sirius weakly argued.

"Remus makes a good point though; you've only known her for about a month," Lily interjected, no anger or disdain seeping through. The change was very welcome as opposed to the previous conversations they'd had about Beth, and he could tell that she was trying her best to remain calm about this. "There's a whole other side to you, to all of us, that she has no idea about. The only things she knows about you are the fake stories we've all told her."

Sirius sat back in his chair, keeping his gaze focused on her. "So I should go ahead and tell her now that I'm a wizard, is that what you're suggesting?"

Lily lifted her head off of James' shoulder as she protested, "No, no, that's not what I'm saying—"

"She's right, Padfoot," James interrupted, no doubt hearing the rise of her tone as she had begun speaking. "I'm happy for you two, I really am, but your whole relationship is built on lies. Granted, they're lies that anyone else in this situation has had to tell too, and lies that are necessary to the secrecy of the government, but how do you think she's going to react when she finds out?"

Sirius shook his head slightly, trying to process what he had just heard. "Who says I'm telling her anything? What happened to 'we've only known each other for a month'?"

"What we're saying is be careful of falling too hard too quickly," James explained, moving to rub Lily's arm. "She's only going to be here for the summer. If, for whatever reason, this happens to work out for the both of you, you're going to have to tell her."

"Wait, why do I have to tell her?" he asked, looking toward James. "You're the one who's known her your entire life."

"And yet, you're the one swapping saliva with her on a daily basis."

Sirius nodded. "Point taken."

"So let's agree on this, then," James offered, leaning up into his chair. "If you somehow reach a point where you think that you're in love with her, then we'll talk. We'll decide whether or not we think it's necessary for her to know everything, and if it is, then we tell her. You're in a more tender spot than I am, though. She'll take it harder hearing it from you than she will from me."

"And what makes you think that?"

"I told him," Lily said. "Trust me, I'm right."

"She is, always," James replied quickly, causing the rest of the group to chuckle softly.

"Until then what will you do?" Lily asked.

"Until then," he responded, taking in a deep breath, "we're just your normal, everyday couple that will fight to keep the sanctity of deer puns alive."

Remus snickered quietly at his response as Lily looked up at James. "I think I want him uninvited, too," she stated.

"Wait, 'too'?" James questioned, seemingly flabbergasted at the word.

Lily nodded. "You're still pending approval," she said as she reached up to kiss his cheek.

James opened his mouth to throw a retort back at her, but at that moment, the door opened widely. _She's back_ , Sirius thought, smiling instantly as he watched the very person they were talking about enter the room. She greeted everyone with a cheerful hello, but it was with him that her eyes met. In that moment, with the topic of conversation preceding it, the way she looked right now, and the way her presence made him feel, Sirius knew that he was very much in danger of having to have that talk with her and James.

"Hello," she greeted quietly as she moved to take the seat next to him, kissing his cheek before she sat down. His arm instinctively went around her, holding her closely to him as she leaned her head down on his shoulder.

"Long day?" James asked.

"Exhausting," Beth complained. "The elevators are under maintenance today. I swear I've never seen a group of people so cranky in my life."

"You clearly haven't done a wedding planning session with Lily," Sirius whispered loudly in her ear, cocking an eyebrow up at Lily's glare.

"Oh, please," Lily commented, looking directly at Beth. "Your boyfriend over there is an utter tosser."

"No," Beth said dryly and sarcastically. "Sirius? Never."

"He's trying to tell completely inappropriate stories at my wedding. I want you and Remus to take out anything that you deem as such."

Remus and Beth's eyes met, confusion spreading over her face. She looked back towards Lily. "You do know that Remus is simply going to egg it on, right?"

"Look at that," Remus chuckled, pointing at her. "Beth's been here for over a month and already knows me better than you do."

Lily met his gaze squarely. "I'll take away the chocolate fondue."

Remus instantly looked towards Sirius and, with mock sincerity, stated, "Not a _single_ deer pun, Padfoot."

"Nah, you'll come around," Sirius said, standing up from his seated position. Reaching out his hand, he pulled Beth up as the rest of the table followed suit, moving to different parts of the house. Keeping her hand held tightly in his, he gazed down at her, keeping their place by the table. "How are you?" he asked, squeezing her hand slightly.

"So much better now," Beth said, reaching up to place a chaste kiss on his lips. He felt her hand curl around his neck as she did so, and she kept it there when she pulled away, scratching the back lightly. "I am starving, though," she admitted. "Do you want to grab something?"

"Oh," Sirius said, confused. "I thought you said yesterday you had some work to do tonight?"

"I thought I did," she stated. "Turns out I got it all done. Do you already have something planned?"

Sirius nodded. "James, Remus, Peter, and I are going out for a pint tonight. I'm sure if you wanted to, you could tag along—"

"Oh, no."

"No?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "Go have fun with your friends. I'll ask Lily if she wants to get dinner."

Sirius stopped her from leaving immediately as she intended, pulling her back towards him instead. "You really don't mind?"

"Of course not," Beth replied, smiling. "Your friends are much more important. Promise me something, though."

Sirius gazed down at her twinkling, beautiful eyes, a smile grazing his face as well. "What's that?"

"Make it up to me."

Laughing, he reached down and captured her lips again, an arm snaking it's way around her waist. Pulling back for just barely enough room to breathe, he whispered, "Oh, I intend to."

He would have pulled her back in, would have stayed there for many, _many_ minutes (hours) more, if a loud "Oi!" had not interrupted them. Facing James, the two stepped away from each other, Beth's giggle escaping easily.

"I leave the room for one minute and come back and find this? Do either of you have even a shred of decency in you?" Beth went to answer, but James held up his hand. "I don't even want to hear it."

"Don't listen to him," Sirius said to her, making sure that James could hear him as well. "He's just jealous you got to all of this before he did."

James rolled his eyes. "As true as that may be, will you please set up away from this raw, carnal display and fix your hair or something?"

"I'm going, I'm going," he said, pressing one more kiss to Beth's forehead before heading off. He smiled contently, feeling lighter than he had in years, and moved down the hall for the loo. Behind him, he could hear James telling Beth that he had promised her mother that she'd return home in one piece, and displays like that made it hard to keep his promise. Sirius smiled as she teasingly defended their relationship, proclaiming that she was "wildly, madly in love with the father of her child." Sirius was enjoying the eloquent, almost well-rehearsed string of curses that followed from his friend when Remus walked to the door of the room, leaning onto one side.

"Did you hear all that?" Sirius asked, motioning towards the living room.

"How could I not?"

Sirius nodded and laughed, going for the stack of clothes lying on his bed. He could have sworn he last saw his leather jacket over here somewhere. Rummaging through, his face scrunched up. It wasn't there. Where could it—

"She fits in with us well, doesn't she?"

Sirius briefly glanced at his friend as he walked to the other side of the room. Maybe it was over here? "You think so?"

He saw Remus nod out of the corner of his eye. "Is she coming with us tonight?" he heard him ask.

Dang it, it wasn't there either. "No, she said I needed some time to be with you lot."

"She did?"

Sirius looked up at Remus at the tone of his question. It seemed incredulous, almost unbelieving. "Yeah," he confirmed, giving him a slight look of confusion. Shaking it off, he returned to the pile, lifting shirt after shirt from it. He rummaged through it for a few moments more, thinking for a moment he saw it lying at the bottom.

"You do realize that if you hurt her, James will kill you."

Sirius looked up, finding Remus standing beside him, leather jacket in hand. Grabbing it from him, he casually replied, "Yeah, I know."

Remus nodded, standing there a moment longer as Sirius threw on the jacket. When the jacket was entirely on, Sirius moved away, aiming to head back to the living room.

"I'll probably help him."

Sirius turned back around, facing his friend. His face was straight, absolutely no trace of humor indicated. Struck by the sincerity, Sirius clapped him on his shoulder, trying to ease his face as much as possible. It wasn't very effective, but Sirius swore he saw his face release some of the tension visible. "Relax, Moony," he said. "I'm not going to hurt her."

Turning to leave the room, he didn't manage to hear Remus whisper under his breath, "You'd better not."

* * *

A/N: It's been so long! How are all of you? I'm so sorry for the delay, but I didn't want any of you to think I'd forgotten this story. School has been absolutely hectic, but I think I'm finally finding a rhythm that will help me get this story where it needs to be :)

As always, thank you for all of the follows, favorites, and reviews. For those of you just perusing this, I can't thank you enough for making it this far. Every one of you mean so much to me (particularly you, nimblescrivener).

Up next, the plot finally starts to kick in. I've been working on the next chapter for months, so stick around!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14.

"There is no way that's true," Beth said, shaking her head and obviously trying to contain her laughter.

Sirius shrugged, pulling up his sleeve to reveal a series of lines across his shoulder. "They're right there."

Sirius felt tingles run through his body as Beth touched the marks softly. Chancing a look at her, he smiled as he saw her mouth gape open. She followed it quickly by throwing her head back and laughing harder, making Sirius smile wider. _She. Is. Beautiful_.

"Did the tattoo artist ever question it?"

Bringing the sleeve back down, he nodded. "Once. After I told him I wanted a sixth one, he asked what it was representing."

"Did you tell him it was your body count?"

"No," Sirius replied, shaking his head. "I told him the truth. I was counting the number of tattoos I had gotten from him."

"That's so funny," Beth giggled, stepping back to the side of him. She quickly accepted the arm he'd casually stuck out for her, pressing herself tightly to his side. "And that was the first tattoo you got?"

Sirius nodded. "One straight line on the shoulder."

He felt her lean her head into his arm, pressing her grin to his skin. He took the opportunity to place a small kiss on the top of her head, feeling victorious when she looked up at him with an overwhelming happy smile. They'd been talking about their firsts in life for what felt like hours, walking slowly and laughing too much as they toured the London Zoo. He'd brought her here to "marvel at the animals," as she had put it, but she'd appeared to be more interested in learning about him.

They'd been together for almost a month now, and though they had certainly gotten to know each other better, their time was often spent in the company of others. It was not uncommon for her to walk into James' small flat and find the entire group there, waiting for her return so they could argue over where to eat. It happened so often that a routine had quickly been established: she'd toss her shoes off, quickly change into more comfortable clothes, join him on James' run down chair, and challenge every option James offered for dinner as she ran her fingers through his hair. Sirius would lean into her, wrapping an arm around her tightly as she, Remus, and Peter argued passionately against James' choice for dinner. They'd all end up deciding, they'd go out, they'd eat, and before they knew it it was time to return back home.

Sirius enjoyed those moments with her, watching her interact with the people that he considered to be the most important in his life, but it was the moments he had her alone that he truly loved. When he was able to sneak her away from the others and elicit her precious time all for himself, he did everything in his power to make the moments last longer. With all of the time she'd spent working at her internship, her time to see him was becoming limited. Today was needed for both of them, and the opportunity to simply laugh and enjoy life with her was more amazing than he had anticipated.

"Okay, your turn."

Sirius looked ahead lazily, pondering a good question he could ask her. "Mmm," he murmured, an idea coming to him. "First album you bought."

"Abbey Road," she said, hardly missing a beat.

Sirius looked down at her. "Really?"

"Does that surprise you?"

Sirius shrugged. "I took you more as a Fleetwood Mac kind of girl."

Beth laughed. "Are you judging my taste in music?"

"No, no, no," Sirius defended. "Not at all."

Beth eyed him curiously. "Why? What was your first album?"

"Abbey Road."

Beth laughed loudly at that, squeezing his arm a little tighter. "There's no way that was your first album."

Sirius chuckled with her. "It was! I got it as a gift, though. I didn't actually buy that one."

"Then what was the first one that you personally bought?"

"Led Zeppelin IV."

Beth laughed again, nodding her head. "Stairway to Heaven, makes sense."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed, thinking back to all those years ago when him and James had scoured the streets of a small muggle town, stopping in the record store simply for the air conditioning. "Peter listened to it more than I did, though. He actually taught himself how to play it on the guitar."

"Did he really?"

Sirius nodded, looking down at her. "Ask him to play it for you sometime. He's actually quite good."

"I will," she promised, nodding her head once to confirm it. They walked like that for a couple moments longer, and Sirius took the opportunity to reach his hand down and interlace his fingers with hers. After a quick stop to look at the rhinoceros, they started back up. Noticing a bench seated further along the path, Sirius began to lead them to it.

"Okay," Beth interrupted his thoughts, bringing his attention back to her. "I've got one."

"Lay it on me," Sirius replied.

"First kiss."

Sirius laughed aloud at her declaration. "I was wondering how long it was going to take for you to get there."

"You were not!"

"I was," he laughed again, squeezing her hand a little tighter. "You can admit it, it's fine. I won't laugh at you too much."

Beth rolled her eyes, pushing him off to the side without a moment's thought. "Just answer the question."

Sirius sighed dramatically, pulling them both to the bench next to them. "Alright, alright," he conceded as he sat down. When she was settled down next to him, he said, "Natalie Acton. I was fourteen, she was fifteen. We did it on a dare."

"On a dare? How romantic," Beth teased, poking his arm. "Did you fancy her, then?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, I think James just wanted something to tease me over. It didn't work, though. It was a bloody wonderful kiss."

"Oh, really?"

"She knew what she was doing," Sirius nodded, moving to encircle his arm around Beth. "But don't take it too hard. Your effort is extraordinary."

"Shut up," she laughed, elbowing him in the side for good measure.

Sirius laughed along with her, kissing the top of her head to dissuade any rising anger. She leaned into it happily, and Sirius watched a wave of contentment cover her face. Taking ahold of her expression, he turned the question back to her. "And what about you?"

Beth cocked her head to the side in thought. "Hm, Spencer Hall, I was twelve, he was thirteen."

"You were twelve?" Sirius exclaimed.

"Hey, you're not the only person who 'has game'," Beth argued, overemphasizing the quotes in what he was sure was an attempt to aggravate him. "We were getting ready to leave for summer break and he hadn't kissed me yet, so I stopped to see him at his locker and planted one on him."

Sirius raised his eyebrows in response. "That's awfully modern of you. Was it a good kiss?"

"No, it was awful, but I did it before you did."

Sirius squinted his eyes as she stared directly at him, a smug grin covering her face. _She wanted a challenge, huh?_ Sirius thought to himself. _Then fine._

"Alright, Miss I-Did-It-Before-You-Did," he taunted, moving to face her more directly. "First time you shagged someone."

Beth rolled her eyes. "And you were making fun of me asking about your first kiss," she scoffed.

"Oh no," Sirius shook his head. "This is more just to prove that I have more game than you do."

She laughed loudly at that, throwing her head back before turning to look at him. "Since when does the age you lose your virginity constitute as 'having game'?" Sirius went to throw back a retort at her, but she continued, "I'll bet your whole first experience was done in five minutes or less."

Sirius thought back to that night all those years ago with Amanda Martin, a fourth year Ravenclaw with more spunk and personality than he'd ever imagined. They had met up frequently to, ahem, work out some frustration, and that night had been no exception. Despite there being no abnormal amount of potions essays or transfiguration tests coming up, the stress had been high, the tempers had been quick, and the tension was rising with every passing moment. Before Sirius knew it, Amanda was sliding his shirt off of him with an intensity that he'd never seen and had given him a look that made it all too clear what she wanted to do.

Beth was right. It had been the fastest three minutes of his life.

"I was fifteen," he stated, raising his eyebrows. "Think you have me beat?"

Beth squinted at him in response, taking several moments before replying, "I was in love with mine."

Sirius twisted his face into one of shock and mockingly placed a hand over his heart. "You wound me! You honestly think that _I, Sirius Black_ , would be interested in nothing more than a wild tryst on a starlit night?"

"Am I wrong?" she asked, biting back a grin.

Sirius waved his hand, dismissing the very idea. "It doesn't matter, I lost mine before you did, didn't I?"

"Yes," Beth confirmed, standing up and holding out her hand to him. "But I got my first kiss before you did. I entered the game before you did. "

"And yet, I'm the one in the lead."

Beth laughed again at that, intertwining her fingers once again with his. He wasn't sure if he'd ever tire of her delicate touch, and as they continued their trek down the path, he found himself wishing he'd never have to know a moment without her. She began to passionately argue with him over the matter, insisting that a first kiss is just as, if not more, important and significant than a first night together, and as he watched the beautiful person next to him make her case, a thought pricked his mind.

It was a flash of something, nothing more, nothing less, but it was something. More specifically, it was them, spent and sated and tangled in sheets, but having a pointless argument just like this one. Maybe they were just as they were now, maybe they were more serious, maybe they were married, but it was certainly them years down the road.

It was at that moment that he realized a future with her was something he could easily see. Despite all of the secrets, despite her living far away, despite his not knowing what at all he was going to do when this war was over, it was there, teasing him. Whether or not he wanted it was still yet to be seen. Neither of them were in love, neither of them knew whether this would last any further than the summer, but he could see it. It was there, currently unattainable and far out his reach, but there was a glimmer, a promise, out in the distance.

He wondered if she could see it too.

"You've got to admit it," Beth said loudly, drawing him out of his thoughts. "A kiss is a rather extraordinary milestone."

"I never said it wasn't."

"You're definitely implying it."

"No," he said, turning them to walk past a secluded building with no exhibits around. It was perfectly isolated for such an intimate conversation. "I'm saying that shagging someone is a more important event."

"It's important, yes," Beth stated. "But it's not more important."

He shook his head, leading her to turn at the corner of the path to walk alongside the building. "Give it up, sweetheart. You know I'm right."

Beth stopped, pulling him around to face her directly. "No," she said, her face stoic and her eyes full of determination. "You're not."

And then she kissed him. Hard.

She pushed him against the wall of the building, her hands snatching at his leather jacket like it was a lifeline, pulling and tugging him as close to her as possible. She was nothing but energy, dominating the kiss with more experience and versatility than he'd imagined. For several moments he simply stood there, relenting to her will and allowing her to steal his breath away. She licked, nibbled, and utterly _ravaged_ his mouth, pouring herself into the kiss with everything she had before abruptly pulling away, leaving them both breathing heavily.

Oh Merlin yes, he could easily see this being a part of his future.

"Tell me a kiss isn't more important," she breathed out, her eyes full of fire and her chest heavily lightly. "I dare you."

Those three words were all it took for him to gain control, and he roughly turned them around and pressed her against the wall. She stared up at him, somehow unperturbed at the sudden change, her eyes still burning, and she defiantly waited for his response. Leaning down slowly, he brought his lips close to her ear, letting his breath tickle her skin. She clutched at his shoulders in anticipation, but he hardly felt it over the pounding of exhilaration in his heart. What he did feel encouraged him, though, and he placed a few soft kisses around her cheek before moving to the spot right under her ear.

"Tell me," she repeated, but her voice was weak. She had leaned her head back, allowing him further access and urging him on with a hand clutching at his hair. Instead, Sirius leaned back, meeting her gaze directly.

"Prove me wrong," she whispered.

"Oh, I'd rather you didn't."

The voice came from out of nowhere, and the two of them sprang apart immediately. Sirius heard footsteps coming at a steady pace and, still facing Beth, let out a soft chuckle at having been caught. "Wouldn't want to turn you in to the authorities for public indecency," he heard the man add.

"We're sorry, sir," Beth replied, straightening her hair and her shirt. "We'll leave right now."

"No," the man said, coming closer to the two of them. "No, I don't think you will, not just yet."

"Listen," Sirius turned around. "It was just a—"

 _No._

A death eater was standing with a wand pointed directly at him, the disturbing mask covering his face. Without a moment's hesitation, Sirius began to let his own wand slide from under his sleeve into his hand, trying to make it as inconspicuous as possible. With his other hand, he motioned to Beth.

"Get behind me."

"Siri—"

"Just stay behind me, I'll take care of it."

"Oh," the man said, tilting his head to the side. "How incredibly thoughtful of you, standing up for your little muggle slut."

Sirius kept his eyes forward, willing his resilience from lashing out at him. He heard Beth murmur something behind him and waved his hand down, trying to get her to stay quiet. Taking a daring step forward, he let his wand fall a little farther down the sleeve into his hand. "What do you want?"

"Oh, let's move away from all the pretense," the man said, taking another step forward as well. "It makes for a much more boring report. You know what it is I want."

"I hate to break it to you, mate," Sirius replied, "but I'm not interested in giving you a proper wank to relieve all that tension. Might have to do that one yourself."

The man was suddenly only an arm's length away from them, his wand pointing directly at Sirius' neck. Beth gasped loudly and grabbed onto his arm, pulling him back a step.

"Look, you have us confused for someone else," Beth said shakily.

"Stop," Sirius interrupted.

"Whatever it is you want—"

"Beth, stop," he commanded.

The man cocked his head again. "Beth?" Even with the mask, Sirius could feel his gaze shift from him to her. "So the muggle slut has a name."

Immediately regretting addressing her, Sirius stepped closer to the wand extended out to him. "Listen, I'm the one you want. Leave her be."

"Oh, I don't know," the death eater responded, walking closer to him and reaching out a hand for her. "I think the Dark Lord would be particularly interested in finding out about this one."

He felt Beth shift farther behind him, and he took this moment to step farther in front of her. "Leave her be," he repeated.

The death eater turned to face him again before slowly bringing his hand down. "For now, perhaps," he commented. "Can't promise for later, though. Very interesting information, indeed."

Sirius kept his eyes focused on the person in front of him, sliding his wand now fully into his hand. He smirked as the death eater backed up into his original position. "You know, if you took that disgusting mask off, you'd have been able to attack me from behind. You'd certainly be able to see better."

The death eater touched the top of his wand to his jugular, pressing it into a crevice in his skin. "I would watch your tongue if I were you."

"Or what?" Sirius taunted. "You'll jab me to death with your pointy stick?"

The death eater twisted it, digging it further into his neck, but Sirius refused to acknowledge it. He locked his eyes on the small slits of the mask and leaned his head up, giving the death eater more access. "Go on then," he dared. "Do your worst."

"Don't. Test. Me."

Sirius smirked. "I don't think you'll do anything."

"Sirius." Beth clung to his shoulder, her voice shaky and wavering.

He pressed his arm back again, nudging her farther behind him. "I think you weren't given a chance to prove how tough you were, and you're going to try to do it now."

"I am warning you—"

"And I am telling you," Sirius interrupted, "that you are the least threatening death eater I have ever had the displeasure of meeting."

The man drew back his wand at that, and Sirius immediately threw up his own. A barrier shot out, preventing it from hitting either one of them. The man drew it back immediately afterwards, striking at him again. Again it bounced off. Sirius kept his eyes focused on him, matching each movement with one of his own before he felt himself run into Beth behind him.

"Beth!" he yelled. "Get behind the building!"

When he could no longer hear her scrambling for cover, he took a proper position and began firing back at him. He was right. The death eater was inexperienced, only barely blocking each spell Sirius shot at him. He was clumsy, and Sirius knew that he would give out shortly. He continued firing at him, sending the spells in as many different places as he could to distract him.

It took only seconds for the death eater to change his focus on sending spells at him to protecting himself. He frantically waved his wand around, blocking each burst of color he saw coming towards him. In another time, Sirius was sure he would have found the moment comical, the attacker frantically trying to protect himself from his supposed victim. Sirius took ahold of the opportunity that was his distraction and began walking closer to him, shooting each spell off quicker with each step.

Finally, one hit. As the death eater fell to the ground and turned to his wound, Sirius shouted, _"Expelliarmus!"_ The wand went flying through the air and Sirius stepped forward, his wand pointed in the very position that had held him captive moments ago.

"And here we see a 'great man' fallen," Sirius spoke, wiping his forehead with his arm. "Does your precious Lord Voldemort know of the talent you possess? The ability to be beaten and disarmed with a muggle watching must be a fairly impressive résumé booster."

"You do not know who you are dealing with," the man muttered.

"No, I know exactly who I am dealing with," Sirius said, bending down to point his wand into the man's neck. "Cowards. Fiends. People who know this man is wrong and choose to follow him out of timidity." He chuckled, twisting his wand just as the man had done earlier. "Who are you going to follow when we win?"

The man raised his head to look directly at him. "The Dark Lord will win. He will dispose the world of muggle filth and will bring order back to a disorganized society. Why fight a losing battle when you could march with us?"

Sirius dug his wand in harder, relishing in the small whimper of pain he heard emerge from him. "Because people like you disgust me."

"People like me," the man repeated. Moving his head higher up to allow better access to his neck, he mockingly defied Sirius. "I was told to give you a message from one of these people like me."

"What?" Sirius seethed, the word sliding through his teeth.

"A Mr. Regulus Black sends his regards."

Sirius punched him without a moment's hesitation.

So his little brother, the same brother he had played with as a child, had adopted the pureblood ideals. His little brother, who had once laughed so hard that he produced his first case of accidental magic, had chosen to serve the enemy. His little brother, the family pride and joy, was a death eater.

His little brother had joined forces with people just like his parents.

His little brother was one of _them_.

Standing back, he watched as the death eater rolled in pain, clutching at his jaw. The sight gave him no satisfaction, and he briefly considered doing it again when he heard his voice being called out.

"Sirius," Beth said, her breath quivering and her hands cold as she reached out to him.

Tossing her hand aside, he knelt down once more and glared at the man. "Do not mention my brother again, or I will personally find and kill you." Standing up, he kicked him, rolling him over to his side.

Beth immediately pulled on his arm, urging him to turn around. "Let's go," she pleaded.

Sirius stood firm and pointed his wand back at the death eater, however, making eye contact with him one last time as he murmured, _"Obliviate."_

Grabbing onto her hand, Sirius apparated them back to an alley close to James' flat, too worried about getting her out of there to bother explaining anything to her. The second they appeared, Beth fell against him, her breath heaving and uneven.

 _Oh Merlin, Beth._

"What was that?"

Sirius' face softened as he pulled her tightly to him. "Are you alright?"

"No!" she shouted. "What just happened? Who was that? What were you doing?"

"You're alright," he sighed, pressing his lips to her hair. "They don't know about you anymore, you're safe. You're okay."

"I am not okay!" she cried, pushing back from him. Her face showed one of terror, and Sirius felt his heart crumble at the overwhelming look of distrust evident. Backing away even more, she asked, "What are you?"

Sirius breathed in shakily as well. _This is not how this was supposed to go_. Doing everything to stay calm, he replied, "I'm a wizard. It was all magic."

"What do you mean?"

"Magic is real," he said, holding up his wand. Beth immediately stood back, holding her hands up in defense. It nearly tore him apart. "That man is part of a league, a very dangerous league that James and I are fighting."

Beth's eyes went wide. "James can do this, too?"

Merlin, now he'd drug James into all of this. "Everyone can."

"Everyone?" Beth repeated, though her voice faltered.

He nodded. "There's a war going on, Beth. We're all working very hard to protect you."

She was swiping furiously at tears streaming down her face, doing her best to maintain eye contact amidst the pain that was so evident in her eyes. She was livid. He had caused it. He had put her in danger. It was his fault. Squeezing his wand tightly, he took out as much tension as he could, feeling his knuckles slowly beginning to ache from the force. Good, they could feel the same way his heart did.

 _Obliviate her_.

Yes, he could do that. He could make that look go away. He could make her happy again. He could fix this.

She looked at his hand suspiciously, the distrust still present in her gaze. "What are you doing?"

"I need you to stand very still for me."

She jerked away, shaking her head wildly. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm protecting you," he said gently.

"By doing what?"

"I'm going to take away your memories."

Her jaw slacked at that, and she pushed him away when he tried to get closer. She was terrified. Disgusted, even. "You're not touching me," she commanded frightfully, still backing away from him.

His heart ached. "It won't hurt."

"You're not touching me!"

"It's for your own good," he argued, hoping his face showed more concern than the overwhelming pain. He took a step forward. "Please, Beth. The only way to protect you is to do this."

She shook her head. "You can't expect me to forget all of this."

"I promise," he assured her, chancing another step forward. "It won't hurt you at all. You won't remember anything about this. You'll be safe."

Beth took a step back, running into the wall behind her. He watched her tap it, looking for something to hold onto for security. He shifted forward, not quite taking a whole step, just aching to be closer to her. "Beth, please. It's not safe for you to know any of this."

Beth stared directly into his eyes at that, her mouth slightly ajar at his declaration. He reached out a hand slowly for her, grazing it down her arm as he stood right next to her, his heart skipping painfully when she flinched. He had put that terrified look into her eyes. It was his fault that she was standing there scared to death, and there was no other possible way to end her terror. James would kill him for this, he knew, but _this was not how she was supposed to find out._

Looking up at him, she asked, "Are you in danger?"

Sirius hesitated a moment before nodding. "Yes."

"Then why are you involving me?" She pushed him away again, walking farther down the alley. "Why would you put me in danger too?"

"Beth—"

"No," she screamed, accusingly pointing at him. Tears continued to fall from her eyes as she glared at him. "You just stay away from me."

Sirius felt his heart drop at her disdain filled words. He reached out to her again. "Please—"

"Stay away!"

He took in a breath, raising his hand slowly and praying she wouldn't see it. "Beth, I'm sorry."

She scoffed. "Oh, so since you're _sorry_ everything will be—"

 _"Obliviate."_

A hazy cloud passed over her eyes as he saw the memories begin to fade away. Slowly lowering his wand, he watched all of those nasty feelings disappear. The hatred, the disdain, the terror crept away quicker than they came, and soon a serene look crossed her face. Sighing, he tucked his wand back up his sleeve and ran his hands through his hair.

They had been attacked.

Regulus was a death eater.

Beth had hated him.

He had obliviated her.

How was he going to explain this to James?

Not even an hour earlier, he had been considering what a future with her would look like. Sure, it had been wishful thinking, and sure, if he was being honest with himself, nothing would probably happen. But now? After seeing the way she had reacted to all of this?

 _It's different_ , a voice told him. _She was thrust into this situation. She'll understand when you tell her again._

 _No. She won't._

"Hey."

He snapped his attention back to Beth, taking in her warm smile. He took it in greedily, grasping to that false sense of happiness exuding from her. She didn't remember. She didn't know. Offering as genuine a smile as he could muster, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Hey what?"

"You never told me how you lost your virginity."

He let out a small laugh, hoping she didn't notice the pain-filled sound that emitted. "I don't think it's a story I want to tell."

Beth rolled her eyes dramatically as they turned the corner back onto the street. "You'll tell me one day."

Sirius thought of the events they had narrowly escaped, of the fight he had fought, of the lie he was putting up now.

"I'll tell you one day," he responded.

But he knew he couldn't. He couldn't tell her anything.

He wouldn't tell her anything.

* * *

A/N: We have entered the plot, my friends.

As always, thank you for all of your reviews, favorites, follows, and reads! I wouldn't be motivated to finish this without them. Keep them coming!

Nimblesrivener, guys. Nimblescrivener.

Up next, Sirius discusses all that happened with someone we all love. Who do you think it is? What do you think they'll say?


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15.

Beth canceled their dinner date the next day. She had called ten minutes before she usually returned home, sounding distressed and disoriented.

"I'm sorry," she'd apologized. "I know we've had this one planned out for a bit, but I'm swamped with this new assignment. I won't be leaving for at least another hour."

He'd said it was fine, urging her to get her work done as quickly as possible. "Maybe we'll be able to go see a film."

They hadn't.

* * *

A couple of days later, Dumbledore gave him a new mission. Edinburgh for six days. _Six days._

Beth had asked him about his family when he'd gotten back. Mentioned that she knew virtually nothing, wanted to know more, asked if/when she'd be able to meet them.

Her innocent question had kicked him in the stomach. His heart had clenched with pain, and he'd looked down at the floor, unable to meet her gaze.

What if he'd have to go against his brother?

When she repeated herself, he shook his head, clenching his jaw tight.

"My family…"

Hates me.

Despises me.

Wants me dead.

Is fighting against me.

 _Regulus._

"…is complicated."

She'd kissed his forehead, promising him that he didn't have to tell her about them if he didn't want to. He'd smiled his appreciation, tried to act like his heart hadn't been violently ripped out of him. She'd believed it.

That night he'd drunk his way through an entire bottle of firewhiskey, praying it would help. It took drunkenly owling Remus and watching him scourgify the vomit away to realize that it hadn't.

That night was when the nightmares began.

* * *

He'd planned out a big surprise date for them two days later. She'd been coming home at her normal time the past couple of days, and it had sparked a small amount of hope inside of him.

Peter had helped him set everything up. Went with him to buy the groceries. Helped him pick out the music. Taught him how to light candles the muggle way. Lectured him about the importance of fire safety.

Rose petals were scattered on the ground. The only lights on were the flickering candles. James had slapped him on the back with a smile, and left for Lily's for the night.

But Beth came home three hours late.

By the time she'd arrived, the food had been put away. Petals swept up. Candles blown out. Sirius had drunk nearly all of the wine save for the little bit still in his glass. She'd had no idea.

They'd fought. She'd accused him of demanding too much out of this. He'd let all of the anger and torment he'd felt out on her. He'd regretted it immediately.

He'd tried to kiss her before he left, trying to apologize, hoping it would help.

It hadn't.

* * *

He'd left for Edinburgh the next day. "Suspected activity," Dumbledore had said.

He'd told Remus to come up with a plausible reason for Beth. Explained that they'd fought the night before. Remus asked him if he had hurt her.

Sirius answered honestly.

* * *

Polyjuice potion worked better than he realized.

It was his second day there that he discovered this. He'd gotten into the small pub easily. A group of pureblooded wizards sat a couple of feet away. Most he recognized as the friends his parents would associate with at the suffocating galas he had been forced to go to. In the front sat Abraxas Malfoy, commanding and domineering as ever. His son, thankfully, was nowhere to be seen. Sirius had sat far enough away to not draw suspicion, but close enough to hear. To anyone else, he'd looked old and decrepit, too drunk to even hold his head up.

Only part of it was acting.

He tried to keep his mind focused on the conversation taking place ahead of him. Tried to keep Beth out of his head. Tried to silence his mother's voice telling him to leave their house. Tried to forget the number of times James had to reassure him that he was okay in the middle of the night. Tried to forget about Regulus.

And then his father had walked in.

He'd sat down at the table and greeted the others. A mumbled conversation began, followed quickly by the sound of him laughing loudly—the first time Sirius had ever heard him do so. On instinct, Sirius turned at the noise.

"My apologies," his father had said to him, motioning to those seated at the table. "We're old friends."

It was the kindest he had ever spoken to him.

Yes, polyjuice potion worked better than he realized.

* * *

The next several days were spent trailing his father.

Sirius suspected he was only sent so as to test his allegiance to the Order. He didn't dare accuse Dumbledore of doing this in his reports back, though he desperately wanted to. He held back for the hope of being led to his brother.

He never was.

His father was not a death eater, that much he knew for sure. A sympathizer, yes, but not a death eater. He was, however, supplying the organization with money, and spent his time traveling from pureblood to pureblood in an attempt to convince them to do the same. "An investment opportunity," he'd called it.

Every person he met with contributed their funds, save for one. On his last day there, Sirius learned that the man had been killed.

* * *

Sirius was chained to a wall. Not by magic, but by steel binds that cut into his skin.

His mother approached him from a far distance, walking slowly until she was face to face with him.

She screamed loudly and long, deafening his ears. It was terrifying, watching his mother look like she _wanted_ to drive him to insanity. He did his best to steel his face, not allowing her to beat him despite his position. When she'd finished, she smirked.

"I never loved you," she taunted.

His father appeared beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "You think you can save him," he laughed. "You can't save your brother. He is everything we wanted you to be."

Regulus was then there, his mask covering his face. In his hand was a steel rod, a blazing hot emblem sitting on top. Sirius recognized the skull and snake immediately.

"You can't save your brother," his father repeated. "But he can save you."

At his mother's nod, Regulus pressed the scalding metal onto Sirius' forearm.

Sirius had shot out of the bed, panting heavily.

His arm was unscathed. His wrists were not bound. The shabby inn was not the dungeon he'd been in moments earlier.

He'd sighed, falling onto his back. Sleep was evading him.

* * *

When he'd returned, Beth welcomed him back eagerly, much to his delight. She'd apologized immediately for the hurtful things she'd said during their fight. He'd apologized for everything else.

They'd ordered takeaway and snogged on the couch for what felt like hours. After days of being by himself, the comforting presence of his beautiful Beth was almost overwhelming. She'd filled him in on her and Remus' attempt to teach James how to waltz. He'd told her the funny bits of his trip to Edinburgh. They'd laughed, they'd smiled, and they'd kissed, again and again and again.

She'd fallen asleep curled to his side on the couch. He'd hoped this would keep the nightmares at bay. Instead, he saw her chained to the wall.

So he'd stayed awake through the night, watching over her and gently cascading his fingers through her curls.

He couldn't lose her.

When she woke up, he'd told her he was going to take her to the art museum later that day. She'd smiled wide, declaring that she couldn't wait.

Eight hours later, her work got in the way.

* * *

Two weeks after the visit to the zoo, Sirius knocked on Lily's door.

"You're not in love with me, are you?" she'd asked at his sudden intrusion.

"You're marrying my best friend in a month, why is that your automatic first question?"

He'd told her everything about that day. How it'd started out non-threatening, how they had been laughing and joking, how happy they'd been. How the death eater had emerged from nowhere, how they'd battled, how he'd won. How he'd obliviated him, apparated away, and in turn obliviated Beth.

During his story, she'd only asked two questions.

"Is she okay?"

"Are _you_ okay?"

He'd nearly broken down at her second question. She'd noticed his change in demeanor and did nothing to force it to light. Instead, she'd made a pot of coffee and brought him food, ashamed at him when he said that he hadn't eaten in over twenty-four hours.

"If you die, who am I going to pass James off to?"

* * *

He'd told her about his mission as she'd packed for her own. The food and coffee had helped him steel his nerves together, and he recounted everything: the growing support, the new names, what little of the plans he'd heard. She'd nodded along as he warned her of what he had learned, thanking him for the advice.

Then the conversation had turned to Beth.

Lily agreed that she seemed to be working longer than any of them thought she'd be. She'd agreed that it was unfair to him for so many plans to be ruined by her work. "But this is what you signed up for," she'd reminded him. "You can't get mad at her for doing her job."

"It's unpaid," he mumbled, picking at a thread in her pillow. "It's not a job."

"Neither are these missions. But you consider them a job, don't you?"

He couldn't get mad at her for having a life of her own, Lily had said. He had to be patient. He had to let her live her blissfully unaware life.

"It's not like you're going to have much time left with her anyway. She's leaving soon. Be thankful for what you have."

* * *

Three days later, Beth cancelled again. He tried not to fight with her.

Apparently, he didn't try hard enough.

* * *

Four days later: "An F3 tornado ransacked a small suburb outside of Manchester."

Roughly translated to: "A group of death eaters destroyed a small muggle town, killing eight and injuring thirty."

* * *

Beth finally made it to a planned night with Sirius two days after the attack.

He'd taken her to a swing dance club, hoping that her smile would distract him from the attack he was trying so hard to ignore. So they'd spun in circles, kicked their feet up, and tried to master the crazy dips and turns the professionals were doing.

They'd had a ball in the beginning. She'd kissed him after every dance, thanking him for such a fun date. He'd kissed her back and drag her back out to the floor, momentarily forgetting the turmoil that was going on in his life.

But then he saw a friend of Rodolphus Lestrange enter the building.

He'd turned his back to the door. "I want to leave," he'd told Beth.

She'd stared at him incredulously. "Why?"

 _A reason, any reason._ "I don't feel well."

She'd scoffed. "We've been trying to go out for weeks now. I'm finally off a night and you want to go home?"

"Well it's not necessarily my fault that this is the first night we've been able to go out, is it?"

She'd glared at him.

He had to leave. He didn't care.

"I want to stay," she'd protested.

The man was working his way over to the bar. If they were going to leave, this would be the best time. Sirius grabbed her hand and roughly tugged her away. "We're leaving."

They'd fought the entire way home.

He had to keep her safe. He didn't care.

* * *

A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry it took me forever to update, but I _promise_ , I have not forgotten this story. In fact, over the past several weeks, I've been reworking it to get a better idea of what I want to happen. My amazing beta, nimblescrivener, has worked relentlessly with me over it, and let me tell you, what we have planned is an angst fest. However, it allows the story to flow a lot smoother, and I think you guys are going to be happy with the end result. Don't give up on me!

Thank you to all of the people asking me to update, it really helped get my butt into gear. I appreciate each and every one of you!

The next chapter follows my regular format, but this chapter needed to be blocked out like this for storyline reasons. What'd you all think of Sirius seeing his father?

Up next, well, just have tissues ready.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16.

Beth was ready to go home.

Picking up her cup, she took a long drink as she continued to stare out the window. The sun was setting, splashing a beautiful display of colors throughout the sky. _Another beautiful painting_ , she thought with a smile. Her dad would have loved it.

It had been a couple of weeks since she'd received a letter from her parents, and the lack of communication was starting to get to her. Not that she wasn't entertained by the people she had here; in fact, she was sure that this was the closest thing to home she'd ever find. She had gotten much closer to Remus, often meeting up with him for coffee before she left for work in the morning. Lily often asked for her help arranging small details for the wedding ("It's not like I can trust the boys to create the place settings"). Peter had helped her make one of the most delicious batches of cookies she'd ever had for her coworkers, and James would come into her room some nights and tell stories that would make her laugh until she was crying.

And Sirius…

She shook her head, picking up the shirt she had been folding and setting back to work. As great as the family she had here was, she missed her family back home. Being gone from them for so long was a lot more exhausting than she would have thought, especially considering the cost of a long distance call. Letters worked, but letters took time: time to write, time to send, time to wait for the other person to write and send, then time to receive the letter that they had written and sent, only to have to start the whole process over again. She hadn't liked waiting for letters when she had been writing James for the past several years, but she _hated it_ now. Three months without even hearing her family's voice was too long.

Which, of course, certainly gave her mixed feelings on this job offer she'd gotten.

If she was being honest, she'd known it was coming. With the insane amount of overtime she'd been forced to work, it would have been ridiculous to not offer her _something_. She was going above and beyond what she thought she'd be doing: attending meetings, taking notes, gathering information, processing it, then relaying her takeaways to the lady in the pink pantsuit. As of lately, the meetings had required her to offer her own input into how to address whatever issue they were discussing at the moment, which also required her to analyze how her ideas could better the situation, which then needed to be typed into a report to give to the lady in the pink pantsuit, who would then determine whether it had any validity, which would then bring her and anyone else's ideas to the attention of the next meeting, and then it would start all over. By the time she staggered home, her stamina was typically nonexistent, her brain fried, her eyes shot.

And yet each time she brought up something new, the lady in the pink pantsuit would acknowledge her work with a smile. Once she'd even said, "I think you made the right career choice." And somehow, in the midst of all of the paperwork and meetings she was forced to take care of, those small actions and stamps of approval made the whole process worth it. In fact, it had gotten to the point where she was excited to go to work, even if they did spring a last minute overtime spree on her.

Sirius was the only one who seemed bothered by it.

Sighing, she picked up another shirt. When Remus had told her during one of their coffee runs that Sirius was going to be gone for a couple of days, she'd breathed a sigh of relief. They'd fought the night before about her coming home late and supposedly ruining a date that she didn't know they had, and honestly, the space from him was what she had needed. When he came back, she had been ecstatic, having missed him terribly and spent the night reminding him over and over again how happy she was that he was back. But then one of her ideas had struck, and the lady in the pink pantsuit was never fully convinced that she was presenting her best work, and she'd spent an entire week tweaking just the one report. The report represented her, and if the lady in the pink pantsuit thought that it wasn't to where it needed to be yet, then by God she'd work on it until it was. She'd thought that Sirius would recognize that, and for a couple of days she thought he had.

He hadn't.

Then there was the whole debacle with the last date they went on and him insisting that, despite not showing any prior symptoms, he didn't feel well and that they _had_ to leave right then. She called his bluff, and he admitted something else was wrong, but not until they were back in James' flat. It took another ten minutes for him to blurt out that she wasn't safe, which only made her more angry at the fact that he didn't think he could protect her, which made him angry for her to suggest that was the reason why he was worried, which had caused him to storm out of the flat, leaving their fight on pause and without a resolution. It had mentally destroyed her watching him simply walk away from it all as if that was their only option for peace, and she'd retaliated by throwing herself into her work, staying out as long as possible to avoid seeing him.

It hadn't worked. She still saw him.

Beth looked up when she suddenly heard the door shut close, putting the shirt back down on her lap. "Hello?" she called.

There was a momentary pause before she heard, "Hey, Beth."

She closed her eyes. Of course it was him. "I'm in the bedroom," she responded, picking the shirt back up.

They'd seen each other, sure, but they hadn't really spoken to each other since that last fight. He'd been around the flat every night she'd finished work, but someone else had always been there. Both she and Sirius had mentally decided to make it look like everything was fine between them, but she knew that everyone was aware of the growing tension building. It figured, then, that this time they were completely alone, as James had chosen to spend the night at Lily's and Peter was helping take care of a sick Remus.

 _They probably planned this out,_ she thought to herself. She wouldn't put it past them.

Sirius came into the room and smiled at her before leaning down to press a small kiss to her forehead. She gave an unsteady grin back to him, unsure of how this conversation was about to play out. Deciding to put her focus back on the shirt, she asked, "How are you?"

"I'm alright," he said, nodding his head slightly. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," she said, adding a smile in for extra effect.

He moved to sit on the bed with her. "Good."

"Good," she repeated.

And then they just sat there. No moving, no talking, just Sirius turning to gaze out the window and Beth finding a sudden interest in the carpet. It was weird. She'd hoped it wouldn't be, but it was. They were still on pins and needles around each other, the fight was still on pause, and they both knew it. It was weird.

After a few moments, Sirius cleared his throat. _Oh, thank God,_ she thought. "How was work today?"

"It was good!" she said, folding up the shirt and picking up another one. "Yeah, no, I got a lot done today and I got some things prepared for Thursday's meeting, so it was good."

"Got a lot done and settled in by six, wow."

Beth looked at him, biting her cheek to keep from saying something she'd regret. He seemed to understand what her look meant, though (had to give him that), because he asked about her report only seconds later.

"The official draft got turned in today," she stated. "They're going to address it on Thursday."

"Are you nervous?"

She shook her head. "No, they pick apart everything that people turn in. I'm used to it. I'll be fine."

"It doesn't hurt to be cautious, though."

Her brow furrowed at that. _Doesn't hurt to be cautious?_ she asked herself. "I'll be fine," she declared firmly. "They all like me, they're not going to intentionally hurt me."

"Oh, do they?"

Beth nodded sharply, refusing to look up from her shirt. "Yeah, I'd say so. They offered me a job."

Though she kept her focus on the shirts, she felt Sirius staring at her. Steeling herself, she willed herself not to look up. She didn't want to see his reaction. She honestly hadn't wanted to tell him. It was out now, though, so she waited for his response.

"A job?"

 _Not a bad response to start with,_ she thought. "Yeah, they want me to graduate, come back, and work for them. Apparently I have 'potential'." She made quick eye contact with him, then dropped her head back down.

"Come back to England?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I mean, I'd have to think about it, for sure, and talk to my parents, but it's an option." Putting aside the shirt she was working on, she looked towards him. "I mean, it's not most people who can say that they have a job lined up before they graduate."

He paused for a moment before moving to stand up. "Very true," he confirmed, walking over towards the kitchen. "Is that something you'd want to do?" he called out. "Leave everything, everyone you know, to come live here in drabby old England?"

Beth took advantage of him being gone and rolled her eyes. "Gee, don't sound _too_ excited."

"No, no, it's not that." She could hear him mucking around in a cabinet, no doubt making a mess while at it. She really didn't like having to clean up after him. "The US just seems more like the kind of place to live, and England—or really, the whole UK—is more the place you go to visit on holiday. Don't you think?"

Confusion draped over her face. She stood up. "Haven't you lived here your entire life?"

"Yes, but—"

"And James and Lily and Remus and Peter," she continued as she walked towards the kitchen to meet him, "I don't think they have any intention of moving."

"Yes, but there's something different about relocating yourself here and living here your entire life."

She scoffed. "I did live here for seven years, don't forget."

"Yes—no—I know," he said, shaking his hand. "But you haven't lived—it's just—I would think about this before you made any rash decisions."

"Yeah, I know how big decisions work," she said.

"Beth, I'm not trying to—" he took a breath. "I just want to make sure you're thinking about this. To uproot your entire life to move here, is that really something you want to do?"

She stood there, silent for a minute, pondering on what he was saying. It all made sense. It was what she'd been thinking too. Then why did it sound off to her? Why was she bothered by this? Why was…

"Oh, my God," she breathed out, realization hitting her like a brick. "You don't want me to move here."

Sirius hesitated, and in that short moment, she realized her suspicions were correct. Laughing to herself, she turned and started walking down the hall, knowing the pause had ended.

"Beth—"

"No, no," she called back, still walking. "I hear you. I get it."

"Beth, of course I would love it if you were here."

"No, you wouldn't. You don't want me here," she said, turning around to face him. "Because you know that if I decided to move it would mean I would constantly be working, which would mean I would constantly mess up your plans, and God forbid we—"

"Oh shut up, Beth," Sirius snapped, causing her to falter for a moment. "Are we really going to have that fight again?"

"Well considering you're obviously still mad at me for having goals and ambitions and a _career_ —"

"Why would I be mad at you for doing something with your life?"

She scoffed. "You get mad at me every time I call you!"

"Yeah, because you're putting your job ahead of everything else, not because you have goals and ambitions."

Beth nodded, her mouth tightly pressed together. "So I'm supposed to put _you_ ahead of everything else, is that it? This three month fling is supposed to take precedence over my future?"

"No!" he yelled out. "Of course it's not! But you didn't come here for a future job, you came here—"

"What, to start a relationship?"

Sirius was clenching his fist tight, but he continued, "You came here to watch your friend get married."

"And I happened to get a job offer along with it!" she fumed. "Just like I happened to start dating you! Why does this have to be an issue? I haven't even thought about this enough to have an answer. I was literally just telling you that I got offered a job. Why do you have to…" Beth shook her head and brought a hand to her face.

"Why do I have to _what_?" Sirius demanded after a moment. "Don't get weak on me now."

Beth brought her eyes up, flaming with stress and anger as she glared at him. "Why do you have to make this about you?"

Sirius laughed loudly, disdain filling every chuckle that came out, as he turned around briefly. "How the _hell_ am I making this about me?"

"Are you kidding me?" Beth taunted, moving closer to him. "You expect me to be at your every beck and call, you expect me to drop _everything_ , and anytime I choose to focus on me and the things that are important to me, you make me feel like crap for it. Then one night I go out of my way to make sure everything goes according to _your_ plan, and _you_ decide that you want to leave. How is it _not_ about you? When has this 'relationship' ever _not_ been about you?"

His back was still to her, but she saw his head shaking. "You can't, _you can't_ use that night against me."

"Why not?!" Beth yelled. "You have no problem making me feel horrible. Why is it different for you?" He went to respond, but she interrupted, "Could it possibly be that you're making this about you?"

He turned around at that, stepping towards her with a rage that momentarily terrified her. Steeling her nerves, she stood her ground, matching his eye contact. "Don't you _dare_ use that night against me! I bloody well could have saved your miserable life that night. You have no idea, you know _nothing_ about me."

Unmoving, she answered, "And whose fault is that?"

Sirius stopped at that, choosing to stare down at her as she glared up. Beth could feel his frustration radiating off of him as he thought about what to say next, how to somehow claim that she was the one to blame for all of this. He wouldn't be able to though, they both knew it, and she knew that would hurt him more than any other thing she had said. It was his fault that she knew nothing about him. It was his fault they were in this argument.

But she supposed it was slightly her fault for what he said next.

"This shouldn't have ever happened," he said, taking a step back and moving towards the couch in the living room.

"What? This argument?"

He shook his head. "This relationship."

And suddenly, despite all the past fights, the hurtful words, and how much she'd been thinking the same thing lately, Beth's heart dropped into her stomach. Forcing herself to look unaffected by what he said, she walked towards the chair opposite him. He momentarily looked up at her, but quickly brought his head back down. "I don't know what I was thinking," he said. "I knew it wasn't going to work. They all knew it wasn't going to work."

He looked deep into her eyes then, and her heart sank even lower as she prepared herself for the words she knew were coming.

"I don't want to do this anymore, Beth."

She bit her tongue, bringing her eyes away from his face as he continued to speak. "I'm done fighting, I'm done—I just—I'm done. I want to be done."

Beth kept her eyes focused on the ground as she processed what he was saying. A mixture of actions and remarks flooded into her brain, but she remained silent. Emotions, so many different emotions, clouded her soul, covering out any ray of happiness that had been left as she ran his words through her brain. _I don't want to do this anymore. I'm done fighting. I'm done. I want to be done._

He _wanted_ to be done.

"Beth," he whispered, but she shook her head. _I want to be done_ , he'd said. _I_ want _to be done._

Was this his fault too?

"Beth."

His hand was cradling her cheek before she realized it, and she brought her gaze up. He was kneeling beside her chair now, looking just as shaken by what he said as she was sure she did. She gently nudged her face away, closing her eyes tight. It wasn't helping. He _wanted_ to be done.

"Please, just go," she whispered.

He took his hand away but remained beside her for a moment longer. She was still angry, still upset, but this new heartache was pounding away at her resolve to stay strong. She knew if he stayed much longer that she would probably cry, though more out of frustration than sadness. He would become that sweet, caring person he was on that day he comforted her when he saw her crying on the couch, she would cling to him desperately for relief, and it would only make the situation worse. So she remained motionless, staring at the floor beside him until she felt him stand up and leave, not bothering to say another word to her.

As soon as the door closed, she lifted her head up to the ceiling, taking a deep breath as she felt her first tear fall. Oh yes, she was really ready to go home now.

* * *

A/N: Now before any of you get mad or upset, I want you to go back and read the summary for this story. Don't worry! Things will get better, but sometimes we have to go through a valley in order to reach the mountain. Fictional characters are no exception.

Nimblescrivener put in some work to help me with this chapter, so a round of applause for her, please (*scattered clapping*).

As always, please follow, favorite, and review! I love getting notifications from you lovely people. It genuinely makes my day.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17.

Lily's flat was filled with boxes, and frankly it was a little suffocating.

The whole group of Marauders were there, trying to help sort and stock items into some sort of logical way so that Lily could officially move in with James. So far, they'd all managed to somehow mess up where an item was supposed to go at least twice. "The glass can't go right beside the plates, what if the box lands glass side down during the enlargement charm and the plates crush it?" or "Why, _why_ would you shrink the rocking chair and put it with the books? Does it look like a bookend to you?" Remus had yet to turn up, which meant that the only "clearly organized" person available was, by her own admission, Lily Evans, which in turn meant doing things exactly according to her will.

Truth be told, though, it was a welcome distraction for Sirius. When he'd left James' flat nearly two weeks ago, he'd apparated home and simply sat there, facing an empty fireplace. He'd been met with thoughts of gratitude, much to his surprise, and had decided then that the end of their relationship was the right choice. She would be happier now, he knew that, and he would be able to put his whole attention to this never-ending, god-awful war. For nearly a week, this had carried him, and he found himself floating through life as he had normally been, an unseen weight lifted off of his shoulders.

But then he'd seen her.

Out of habit and muscle memory, he'd walked into James' flat without even thinking about it. James had been in the same room, thankfully, but she'd been sitting on the couch reading. When they saw each other, both of them flushed, and hurried greetings were dished out before James took note of the obvious discomfort and left with him.

The second he closed the door was when he had started to pine.

To be fair, it hadn't been a series of wails or sobbing into his pillow over what could have been. It really didn't have a physical effect on him at all. Instead, he began to notice how quickly she had become a part of the pattern in his life. He'd found himself thinking about what she was eating for dinner that night, what book she'd be reading, what time she'd finally crawled into bed. He noticed that the memories he'd managed to stash away for that first week were creeping back in. _That was the bench we had ice cream on. That was the canopy we stood under during the rain._ London was bloody crawling with memories, and it irritated him daily.

So when Lily had said she needed help moving, he'd jumped on it quickly. The chance to have a conversation that distracted him from anything about Beth was exactly what he needed. So far, he'd been correct.

But that didn't stop him from rolling his eyes as he moved the rocking chair away from her books.

"We've been at this for hours, Evans," James complained, flopping onto the ground. "When can we stop?"

"When everything is finished and tucked away so I can move in, you dolt."

James turned his head towards her. "What if we just bought you new stuff altogether?"

Peter groaned. "Godric, that sounds wonderful."

"Excuse me, I'm not wanting to move into a flat that doesn't have a functioning _dining room table."_

"Merlin above, if you're going to complain about the dining room table so much, why didn't I just move in here? Installing the fireplace to the Floo Network doesn't take _that_ much to do."

"Because whether I care to admit it or not, you have the nicer flat." She fiddled her wand around and watched the spell tape the box shut pristinely. "Even if it does have a shoddy table."

Peter sat up off the floor. "If you're going to keep talking about dining room tables, can we please do it while sitting at one? I'm starving."

"You're always starving," Lily mumbled, picking up another box.

"No, you haven't let us eat at all today, _that's_ why I'm starving. It's nearly six in the evening."

"Is it really?" Lily asked, turning to face the clock on the wall. Just at that moment, the bell began to chime. "Why didn't anyone say anything?"

"We did," James complained. "You kept telling us to keep packing."

"Well excuse me for being excited to start my life with you," she responded, standing up and reaching a hand out for her fiancé.

"Yeah, you'd better be," James teased, kissing her forehead.

They scarfed down their meal quickly, partly due their famished states, partly because of Lily's insistence that they could finish this all in one day. "I don't care if it takes all night, we're going to get all of the boxes _at least_ packed, though I would still like to just go ahead and move them into the flat."

James took a drink of water and shook his head. "We're not doing that tonight."

"Why?"

"Because it already is tonight!" James cried in such a state of fake despair that Sirius and Peter found themselves laughing along with him. "Any later and it will end up being tomorrow."

"Well then tomorrow, let's unpack—"

"No, we can't do it tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Because I'm exhausted _today_."

"But—"

The sound of Remus entering interrupted their playful argument. They all turned to face him, relief washing over Sirius immediately. Maybe Remus could talk some sense into Lily and what was expected to occur during day one of moving.

"Hey, Moony," Sirius called, with the others soon following.

"Hi," he replied, more curtly than usual, flopping a newspaper onto the floor as he maneuvered off his shoes. When he stepped further into the light, Sirius noticed that his expression matched his tone. He looked weary, slightly defeated, and… sad?

"Are you alright?" Lily asked, obviously picking up on the same signals.

"Have any of you seen the _Prophet_ today?" Remus asked immediately, tossing the copy onto the table.

"No," James said, picking the copy up. "Why?"

"There was another attack."

Lily leaned over James' shoulder to look at the newspaper with him as the rest of the group fell silent. "Another attack?" she asked. "Didn't they just do one not too long ago?"

"What, you think they keep a schedule?" Remus retorted.

Lily shook her head. "No, it's just closer than normal."

"How many?" Sirius asked.

"Thirteen." Remus sighed, bringing a hand up to rub his face. "All muggle."

Confusion swept over everyone. "All of them?" Sirius repeated.

"Every single one," Remus confirmed grimly. "There isn't even a population of wizards living there."

Lily leaned up, horror etched across her face. "So they were—"

Remus nodded. "They were targeting muggles."

"Where was it at?" Peter asked, craning to get a glimpse of the newspaper as well.

"A small village outside Perth," James spoke, still reading the article.

"Wait," Lily said, moving his arm to get a better read of it. "Outside Perth, it's not…" Her face suddenly paled, and she let out a short breath before closing her eyes. "Oh, Merlin."

"What?" James put the paper down, focusing on her.

She looked right at him. "It's Luncarty."

"What?"

"Luncarty," she repeated. "I was just there. That's where Dumbledore sent me." She sighed, sitting back in her chair. "They must have known I was there."

"What makes you think that?" Peter asked.

"It's too small of a coincidence," Sirius said, picking up the _Daily Prophet_.

"Exactly," Lily said. "Sure, there's always the possibility that they just happened to choose the exact same place I was at, but the odds are too small." She looked at James, panic filling her eyes. "They knew I was there."

"Let's not jump to conclusions," James said. "Has this happened before?"

Remus shook his head. "Not that I remember."

"But all patterns have to start somewhere," Lily insisted. "Just because this is the first time this happened doesn't mean it won't be the last."

"But just because it happened once doesn't mean it's the start of a pattern," Peter said.

Lily shook her head. "I really think it is."

"But what do they gain from attacking it _three weeks_ after you've left?" Peter questioned. "If they were attacking with intent, wouldn't you be the target?"

"Possibly—"

"Then there you have it."

"But now it's been compromised, and at the cost of thirteen innocent people." Lily's words rang through each person, silence slicing through any person's argument. "We can't use it now," she continued. "No one is going to move to a place that's been attacked. If they were attacking 'with intent,' as you said, then why couldn't the intent be to make it uninhabitable?"

"She's right," Sirius sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "If they start to catch on to where we're trying to find safe places for people to live, the Order is going to fall."

"Then what do _we_ do?" James asked.

"We'll have to come up with better security measures," Remus said. "Something airtight, in case, Merlin forbid, someone decides to turn against us."

"Which means another meeting," James mumbled.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Joy."

"It'll have to be soon, though," Sirius said. "Frank is scheduled to leave next." Looking at James and Lily, he asked, "Do you think you'll be up for one before the big day?"

James looked at his bride-to-be, smiling sadly. "We don't really have a choice. The safety of the people is more important than our wedding."

Sirius watched as Lily nodded tersely, grabbing a hold of James' hand. As a sad look passed between the two of them, Sirius felt his heart clench. It wasn't fair to them, not in the slightest, to have to worry about a war in the week leading up to their wedding. What should be an exciting time of preparation and excitement was now going to be filled with agitation and uneasiness. He knew they weren't naive enough to believe that there would be absolutely no complications, but Order meetings were generally tense and full of constant bickering. It raised tempers as people desperately sought a way to end this war, and often led up to Dumbledore simply making an executive decision.

But it was the right thing to do. They all knew it. They might have hated it, but they all knew it.

"What if we didn't have a wedding?"

The whole table froze at Lily's quiet suggestion. James' face immediately crumbled into one of disbelief, and he leaned closer to her, still grasping her hand. "What?"

She looked around at everyone's shocked faces before turning back to him. "What if, for the safety of everyone, we just elope?"

James' face softened a bit as the realization that she still wanted to be married settled in, but the disbelief still remained. "Why would that be better?"

"I still want to marry you," she affirmed, causing James to give a small smile. "I can't imagine my life without you." She paused a moment, and Sirius noticed a bit of wetness filling her eye as she quickly blinked back the threatening tears. "But I won't want to remember our wedding if it gets attacked. I don't know if I can knowingly ask every member of the Order to gather together in one area when we don't know if someone has told Voldemort that we're all going to be together in one area. If word gets out—"

"Then word gets out."

She shook her head. "James—"

"Look, everyone knows we're engaged. Or at least anyone who was at Hogwarts at the same time as us knows. And anyone who doesn't know that we are knows that I had a _slight_ crush on you, so they wouldn't be surprised." She let out a soft laugh, and he continued, "But everyone who knows that the wedding's happening, knows what day the wedding is, also knows the risk they run by coming. All of the guests coming are doing so because they chose to, not because we forced them."

"It's not that we're forcing them to come, it's that we'll all be in one area that can very easily be taken down."

"Lil', McGonagall's coming, you really think it's going to be easy to take down?"

Lily smiled in spite of herself. "But this attack," she continued, "they knew where I was at. What if—"

"There's always going to be what if's," James said. "And when we look back, we'll probably think about seven different protection spells we could have placed on the building to make it safer. But the people surrounding you right now," he looked towards everyone seated at the table, "and the people on their way know what they're getting into. They're willing to take the risk for us."

Remus nodded. "It's true."

James kissed her hand, still holding onto his. "Listen, if you want to call this off and elope and move to Brazil or Australia or even Antarctica, I'll do it with you in a heartbeat. If you're too worried an attack will come, then I'll understand. I'll never be upset with how I got to begin spending my life with you, just as long as I'm spending my life with you. But in the middle of a war, in the middle of trepidation, in the middle of sadness, sometimes the best way to fight back is through pure joy, through dancing, through unadulterated happiness. Our fight is against one who stands for death. What better way to fight back than through life?"

Lily stared at James intently as he spoke to her, soaking in every word he said. Sirius noticed her features slowly relax and watched as her thumb began to draw small, absentminded circles on his hand. It reminded him of… something.

Who was he kidding. It reminded him of Beth.

"You really want to do this?" she asked.

James' other hand rested on top of hers. "I want to marry you."

And this time, a genuine smile emerged from her. She looked quickly to each person sitting at the table, settling her eyes primarily on Sirius. "And you're all okay with this?"

"Honestly, I'd be offended if you didn't have the big grand ceremony, considering how much time you've spent on deciding what cake to have," Remus teased.

"Moony's right," Peter agreed. "There's no better way to fight back than cake."

She nodded, looking back towards James. "Have the wedding then?"

"Best way to fight," James replied.

"We can increase security?"

"We'll bring it up at the meeting," he promised. "I'm sure Frank and Alice have ideas about what worked best for their wedding."

She nodded once more before asking, "And if everyone dies?"

"If everyone dies," Remus interrupted, "then we'll haunt those bloody death eaters until they die too."

Everyone cheered at that but Sirius, who instead remained motionless in his seat as Lily immediately set to work on creating the safest place possible. Increased security measures meant an obvious use of wands. It meant apparition wards, it meant charms surrounding each part of the venue, and it meant each guest having an assigned duty if attackers did come. It didn't settle well with him. Sure, they were needed, but there was one thing, or person, rather, that everyone seemed to be forgetting about.

"What are we going to tell Beth?"

Lily halted, turning to face James. "I'd forgotten about Beth."

"She doesn't know a thing," Sirius reminded them. "If she's going to come, we'll have to tell her. There's no way we can hide all the charms and wards from her, not this time."

"Are you certain?" Lily asked. "She never seemed to notice the one surrounding James' flat."

"Okay, then how are we to explain all of the people surrounding her talking about a war?"

"We do what we'd originally planned on," James said. "Make sure that no one talks about it around her and keep her away from people who might blow it."

"But in our original plan, there wasn't an attack a week before the wedding," Sirius mentioned.

"We also didn't have you dating her in the original plan," Remus murmured. "But sometimes complications come up."

"What are you saying?" Sirius balked.

Remus raised his eyebrows. "You want to be the one to tell her that by dating a high profile blood traitor she could very well have a target on her forehead?"

"Yeah, well, we're not dating anymore."

"You think that's going to matter to Voldemort?"

Sirius raised his hands up in disbelief. "What is going on here? How did this suddenly become an attack on me?"

"Alright, alright, enough," James interrupted. "Accusing each other is going to get us nowhere, and frankly we have a much bigger problem on our hands than deciding who's to blame."

Sirius broke away the glare he was holding towards Remus and sighed, dropping his head into his hands. He wouldn't ever admit it, but Remus was right. There was no telling what Voldemort's men knew. Sure, he'd obliviated the death eater they'd come into contact with that day at the zoo, but he also knew that the Order had secrets stashed away that the others—hopefully—had no idea about. Beth could very well be a target, and he would have no one but himself to blame for it. The words she'd said the night they broke up were emerging back into his mind, as they had been for the past couple of weeks now. This time, though, they felt like stab wounds, piercing away at his resolve. _Why do you have to make this about you?_ she'd asked. _When has this relationship ever not been about you?_ He'd reacted with anger, insisting it wasn't true, but she was right. He'd used her, made her a beacon of hope and a light in his dark life, trying to milk out any ounce of happiness he could get from her. He'd expected too much of her, wanted perfection, and instead received a human being with flaws and problems of her own. She'd wanted friendship. He wanted a distraction. He'd essentially talked her into a relationship, and now her life could be on the line for it.

He sighed. This pining nonsense was getting to be too much.

"Sirius."

Peter's voice interrupted his thoughts, and he brought his attention to his friend. "Yeah?"

"You alright?"

He looked around the table, noticing everyone staring at him in expectance. Clearing his throat, he said, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Peter nodded once, but Sirius knew he didn't buy it. Peter chose to ignore it, though, and asked, "What do you think we should do?"

Sirius took a breath in. _What would be best for her?_ "I think she's too inquisitive to tell her nothing. She'd catch on at the wedding pretty quickly that something was up."

"So what," James asked. "You want to tell her that we're involved in a war?"

He paused for a moment before shaking his head. "I think we should tell her everything."

James looked down at his conjoined hands. "Everything?" he repeated.

"Everything."

James took in a deep breath, looking straight at him. "I've managed to keep this a secret from her for as long as I've known her," he said. "Is the best option really—"

"James, you know it is," Lily said. "She'll understand."

"I have no doubt that she'll understand," James replied. "What I do doubt is her ability to completely forgive the lies we've all told her. We had systems, plans in place for this wedding organized months ago. I thought we'd decided the only way we were going to change it is if she somehow fell in love with you."

The way James worded it made Sirius flinch. _Somehow_. As if it weren't possible.

"I mean, she's not, is she?"

Sirius thought back to how she asked him to leave. He shook his head. "No. She's not."

"Then is it absolutely necessary?"

"Prongs, the poor girl has no idea that anything is going on." Remus shifted to face him more. "We can't leave her completely oblivious to this when there's a chance she could get hurt. Think of this as another way to keep her safe."

"We'll all help tell her," Peter offered. "It won't just be one person going in."

James looked towards Lily with questioning eyes. She nodded. "I think it's the best option we have to keep her safe."

He sighed and said, resigned, "Then we'll tell her."

* * *

"How are you holding up?"

Sirius looked at Peter with a sad smile as they meandered down the street to their apparition spot. "Not too well."

"It's starting to get to you, is it?"

Sirius shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "It's been at me."

Peter nodded and walked alongside him, step for step. The sense of his friend being in solidarity with him, even if just in a walking gait, was somehow cathartic. Sirius looked ahead of him, trying to push back the thoughts of Beth that were now pressing into every corner and crevice of his mind. He figured they wouldn't stop anytime soon.

"You think the talk will go well?"

"I hope it does."

They had only walked a couple of steps further when Peter stopped and turned to face him. "Are you hoping that by talking to her it'll fix things?"

Sirius stopped at that and stared down his friend. "What are you saying?"

"I think that even though she may not be in love with you, you've started to fall for her."

Sirius looked around, uncomfortable at Peter's bluntness. "Wormtail, do we have to talk about this now?"

"I don't know of any other time that we could."

Sirius sighed, looking at his friend tiredly. "I'm not in love with Beth."

Peter eyed him curiously. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm the one who ended things with her," he defended.

"But you didn't want to."

"It's not about what I did or didn't want," he snapped. He needed to walk, needed to clear his thoughts as much as possible.

Peter, however, followed. "Then what _is_ it about?"

"It's easier this way," he mumbled. He started picking up his pace, desperate to get home. "She's able to focus on finishing her practice, on the things she needs, and I—I need to focus on preparing for this war and training and… it's just easier, Wormtail. That's all there is to it."

"So this talk, then," Peter prodded, "it won't include an explanation of how the war affected your relationship?

Sirius felt agitation rising like vomit at his unceasing questioning. "I don't know, maybe. It would certainly help explain things. Maybe get me on better terms with her."

"So that you can admit you're in love with her?"

He turned around sharply, addressing Peter at his full height, feeling slightly powerful at the way he began to slightly flinch away. Peter had always had trouble sticking up to someone who he knew was stronger than him, and Sirius took advantage of it now, glaring at his friend intensely. "I am not. In love. With Beth."

"Okay, okay, okay," Peter said quickly, cowering away slightly until Sirius was no longer looming over him. The way he had quickly scurried a couple of feet apart from him shocked Sirius back into reality, and he silently berated himself for using Peter's weakness against him like that. This was his friend, not someone dangerous.

"Sorry," he murmured, slouching against a post and bringing a hand up to his face. "I'm sorry. It's hard moving on when everyone talks about her. I literally cannot get her out of my head. I acted out, I apologize."

Peter seemed to recognize the sincere apology and nodded his acceptance. Stepping slightly closer to him, he said, "Might I suggest something, then?"

"What?"

"You're not in love with Beth," Peter clarified. "And you're trying to get over her, yes?" After Sirius nodded once, he said, "Then I think what you need to do is not mention anything about how this war affected the relationship you had."

Sirius furrowed his brow, returning his hands into his pockets. "What, and leave her in the dark about everything? Make her think that I'm still—"

"Make her think that you broke up for purely selfish reasons," he interrupted. "That's the only way you'll keep her truly safe. If she finds out that all of your reasons for being frustrated at her staying at work late were because you couldn't keep watch over her, or because you saw a friend of Lestrange enter the building, she'll realize that you were doing it to keep her safe. She'll be grateful, extremely grateful, and you'll end up back on happy terms if not back together, and then she'll feel more of a reason to come back here and accept the job they offered, and then you'll have death eaters for sure finding out about her, and then we'll almost assuredly have another attack, but this time, it'll be on you two."

Sirius took in everything Peter said, sadly realizing that everything he said was true. He hadn't even realized that the real reason behind him getting so angry with her working late was because he couldn't watch over her. That was what this whole summer had been about, hadn't it? Keeping her safe? All of the precautions enacted, all possible scenarios drafted, and they'd managed to hide her from Voldemort's army, except for the _one time_ they'd ran into one. Peter was right. He hadn't ever gotten upset over her working until that first attack when he realized that he wouldn't always be there to shelter her. The thought had terrified him. That, then, had to have been the reason why he felt the need to leave so quickly after seeing Lestrange's friend walk through the door. The chance of another attack, the possibility of not keeping her safe, _that_ was what, ironically, kept her safe. If she were to move here, it would "almost assuredly" be for nothing.

"You're right," Sirius said. "You're right. I can't let her know."

Peter nodded. "The best way to keep her safe is to tell her as little as possible."

Thoughts, too many thoughts about how many different ways this could end badly engulfed his mind. He shook his head, trying to clear them away. "I hadn't even thought…"

"Well, luckily for us, you're not the brain of the Marauders," he smirked, clapping Sirius on the back. "Come on," he motioned, walking back down the sidewalk. "Let's get going."

Sirius followed after him, soon settling into the gait they had earlier. "Thanks for that," he offered. "Back there. Probably," he laughed, trying to ignore the unsettled tone it had to it, "probably should have just not dated her at all, huh?"

Peter turned his head towards him. "You regret it?"

Sirius looked down at the ground, sifting through all of the memories he had stored away while trying to keep in mind all that Peter had told him. But every time he managed to overthrow a thought of her smile, her laugh, or her genuine inquisitiveness, a different one popped up. And suddenly, despite all of the warnings given and knowledge of the difficult conversation they were about to have with her and the seemingly relentless days he'd spent pining, all he could see was Beth.

"No. I don't."

* * *

A/N: Hello you lovely people! I hope you've all enjoyed this sudden spurt of me updating like a monster, because I certainly have! James and Lily's wedding is so close, can you believe it? Things are progressing, and there's still so much more to go!

Did you catch Peter low key being a bit of a snake? I was having trouble incorporating him into the story, but as I began writing his dialogue, I realized he was too much fun to write. As troublesome as he is, it's important to remember that he WAS friends with them, so balancing his conflicting views was a blast. Definitely expect to see him pop up more!

To my dear Nimblescrivener, thank you for not judging me went I sent this to you in a haze at 3 in the morning.

Please remember to favorite, follow, and review! I love hearing your reactions to this story. Let me know what you think!

I think you can all guess what will come up next. How do you think it's going to go?


	18. Chapter 18

FREEDOM.

When Beth had first learned about the Declaration of Independence, she had been floored at the ability to just suddenly declare themselves free. It always seemed a bit presumptuous to her, simply stating that you were no longer bound by the demands of someone else. No, in her mind, it made more sense to work towards freedom, not to suddenly just demand it. And then, as time had gone on, she recognized that the Declaration did not come unexpectedly, but had been a thought, a small bloom, sitting across the ocean and needing a months-long voyage and a new land to get out. She'd heard about the battle for freedom, the cost of the war, and how long and arduous the process had been to get to the point they were at now. That was when she realized that freedom had not been demanded, it had been earned, through hard work and sweat and determination.

And yet she was almost certain that the liberty she felt from ending her internship was infinitely more triumphant than how those revolutionaries felt.

Her internship was done, James was getting married tomorrow, and she was going home. She sighed happily as she walked towards his flat, determined that today was going to be the best day she'd had all summer. All of the boys were going to be out tonight. Lily was going to the hotel. She was going to have a lie in, basking in her success and triumph, eating Chinese takeout, and watching bad television, all while packing to get ready to leave, and it was going to be glorious.

Nearing the door and reaching out to unlock it, she thought to herself that there was nothing in the world that could diminish her mood right now, nothing that could stop her from enjoying today, nothing that would—

 _Oh, bloody hell._

"Hi," she said, trying to control her erratic heart rate at the sight of him. Sirius looked just as disturbed to see her as well, flustering around the objects on the table before looking at her fully.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I wouldn't have been here if I had known—"

"And I wouldn't have come if I had—"

"Right, right."

"Right," she repeated.

It was only after several moments had passed that she realized they had just been staring at each other, both having not moved since she'd entered.

 _God, this was awkward._

She moved to place her bag down, settling it down by another bag and trying to play out how to best handle this situation and, subsequently, all the plans she had made for the night. She could retreat to her room, claiming tiredness, but that was the furthest thing from the truth. She could insist that he leave, but that would only create unnecessary drama. She could try to pretend as though nothing had ever happened between them, pretend that they weren't alone for the first time in weeks, pretend that this was just a friend and not someone that had broken up with her on the couch in the room next to them.

She wasn't sure which one she would rather endure.

"I thought," he cleared his throat, clearly feeling just as awkward as she was. "I thought you wouldn't be back until later."

"They let me leave early," she said as brightly as she could, turning around to face him but remaining still in her spot.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I guess after you've worked the entire summer for them, they'll let you leave early on your last day." She flashed a small grin but immediately brought her head back down, unwilling to see his reaction. "Could have come in handy a couple of weeks ago, I know," she added quietly.

"You're entirely finished then?" he asked, and Beth breathed a sigh of relief at not commenting on her last statement. "No more long hours, no more projects, no more meetings, it's all done?"

She nodded. "There's not much else I could do considering I leave on Monday."

"Monday?"

She met his gaze at his clarification, finding an unnerving amount of tenderness in his eyes. Brushing it aside, she nodded again. "The wedding tomorrow, a day to pack, and then back to the States. Always been the plan."

He shook his head slowly as if absorbing the words that she was saying. "That's a rather eventful couple of days."

"Yeah," she laughed, crossing across the room, daring to stand closer to him. "I don't know if I could handle something else dramatic happening during that time."

Sirius froze a moment, his eyes remaining glued on hers. She furrowed her brow, uncomfortable at the sudden look he was giving her. Breaking the eye contact, her eyes landed on the pieces of paper spread out before him, covered in what looked like scribbles and arrows pointing each and every way. "What's that you're working on?" she questioned, desperately wishing to end the moment.

It apparently worked, because Sirius immediately brought his attention back to what was in front of him, ending the weird tension between them. "This is a seating chart that I was supposed to have finished a month ago."

"A seating chart?" Beth walked closer to the table, peering over it from the opposite side of where he was sitting. "For what?"

"For the wedding."

Beth stopped, still staring down at the papers. "The wedding that's happening tomorrow?"

"One and the same."

She chanced a glance at him, finding him stifling back a laugh and rubbing his face with his hands. "Why are you doing it?"

"I offered to help ease the burden of planning and Lily thought that this was the only thing that I would be able to finish on time and with 'excellence'," he put quotes around the words.

"And you're finishing it now?"

"And I'm finishing it now."

"And Lily hasn't killed you yet for not having it done?"

"It's not my fault," he said, holding his hands up. "As luck would have it, I was a little busier than we all expected this summer."

Beth bit her tongue when he met her gaze straight on, relief washing over her when she realized his eyes were twinkling in amusement. He wasn't accusing her. The sensation of realizing he was joking with her again coiled into the pit of her stomach, settling like a rock as she realized that she had missed it. Unable to hold back, she responded, "So it's my fault, is it?"

"It's definitely the excuse I gave to Lily."

She laughed, looking down at it. It looked as if half of the names had been accommodated for, and if it had taken him this long to complete that much, she could only imagine how much longer he would be there. She wanted to have her day alone—desperately, honestly, and truly she did—but now he was sitting there and he was joking with her again, and she watched her plans suddenly shift in her head. If he stayed, that would be … bad, right? _Yes, it would be,_ she tried to remind herself. _Horrible, awful, bad_.

But if she were to offer to help him, that would simply be to help him leave quicker, right? Not for any other reason. Solely to have him leave as soon as possible. Steeling her nerves, she asked, "Should I help you, then?"

 _For the sake of helping him leave,_ she reminded herself. _Not for any other reason._

"Do you want to?" He seemed startled by her offer.

She nodded. "It does seem to be partly my fault that this happened."

"Yes," he replied, and Beth watched as his eyes took her in fully, moving from her head to her toes before finally settling back on her face. "I mean no, no, I have everything under control."

Beth bit her lip. That certainly was not the answer she'd expected. She supposed she could just go into her room, sit there, and wait until he finally left. It certainly wouldn't be a problem, and both of them would probably be grateful for the lack of contact, and she'd still get to have her day to relax. And yet, he was here, he was sitting there, he knew she was there, and what would be more awkward? To be involved in the middle of an awkward situation and make fun of it all? Or to attempt to continue in ignorance, pretending as if nothing had ever happened, and feel the weight of the burden of hiding?

"I mean," he cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. "Unless you just _want_ to help."

Her face brightened at the invitation, and she silently chastised herself for getting so excited. "You don't think it'll be awkward?"

"Oh no, I fully intend for it to be one of the most uncomfortable experiences ever," he teased. "But we might as well get that first uncomfortable talk out of the way, right?"

"The first uncomfortable talk?" she asked, pulling out the chair directly next to him and sitting down. She tried desperately to not let the sudden proximity affect her, and continued, "Are you planning on having more than one?"

That face happened again. His features froze again, and because of how close she now was, it was nearly impossible to look anywhere else. He looked so pained, so hurt, and she couldn't place her finger on what it was that was affecting him so. It obviously had something to do with her. What had she done to make him feel that way? Was it even her fault at all? She kept his gaze, nervous to say anything that would bring her away from him, for even in the midst of this awkwardness, she felt a little bit of life restored in her at the familiarity. Maybe it was selfish, but she didn't want it to go away, no matter what was on this man's mind.

After what felt like hours of his gaze boring into her, he turned toward the sheets in front of him, fidgeting with it unnecessarily. "No," he said, and it was spoken with so much command of the situation that Beth knew it was out of sight and out of mind. She wasn't to ask about it. So, instead, she picked up a page of names listed, focusing all of her attention on the names not marked off and not on how _good_ he smelled.

"Let's get started, shall we?"

* * *

We can't sit him there," Sirius protested, pointing to a table on the opposite side of the room. "This is the one to go with, I promise you."

"But you said that he's married to one of the bridesmaids," Beth protested, pointing to her original idea. "If he sits here, he's at the table directly next to it."

"But if he sits there, he has to sit with Molly and Arthur, and Frank doesn't have the patience to sit by them for the entire night."

They were nearing the end of the list, putting the final finishing touches on the last couple of names that had yet to be crossed out, and it was surprisingly … not awkward? Not uncomfortable, not unpleasant, not weird at all. It felt as though she had just met him all over again, and the constant playful bickering over where to seat everyone had been a sigh of relief after all the yelling that had occurred the day they had ended their relationship. Granted, she _was_ reminding herself constantly that if she ever wanted to visit James again, she'd have to be on friendly terms with Sirius. That was certainly a motivating factor. That and she knew now that it would have been worse if they had decided to ignore each other.

But it was good talking to him. It was fun. It was enjoyable. She'd forgotten how easily he could make her laugh, and was loving every moment that he did. The last month of their relationship had been tense and overworked, as if they both knew the end was inevitably near and were doing all that was possible to not let it happen. But, she'd realized about halfway down the list, it was almost better not having those words of "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" tying them together. She could enjoy him now for the person that he was, not the person he was trying to be for her. He felt more real now, more alert and awake and alive. Whether or not that directly correlated to him being single again, Beth didn't know, but seeing him this way was refreshing. It was everything that she had been initially attracted to, and as she stared at him, she couldn't help but feel—

 _Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa. Nope. No. Nope nope nope._

 _No._

She brought her attention back to the list, glancing at the names to make sure she was talking about the right people. "You said Molly and Arthur were great."

"They are," Sirius agreed, "but they just had twins last year and that is _all_ they will talk about. Frank and Alice just got married. If he sits by them, they won't ever have kids."

She laughed. "I think Frank can deal with a couple who just had their first kids for a couple of hours."

"Oh no," Sirius objected. "These are their fourth and fifth kids."

Beth's eyes bulged out. "Oh."

"And they're already planning their next one."

" _Oh_."

"And Frank and Alice _just_ got married."

Beth looked down at the names listed for that table. "Wait, you have me sitting at this table."

"Yeah, so you can be close to the wedding party table."

Beth laughed. "But that's exactly what I said for-"

"Yeah, but we're doing this for Frank to save his marriage."

"Whereas for me, it's just my sanity I'll be losing, right?"

"Precisely," Sirius said, and wrote down Frank's name on the table he suggested. "Have to think of what's most important."

Beth glanced down at the list again. "You have me sitting right next to them!"

"Think about Frank. Do it for Frank."

"But I don't know Frank!" she protested.

"This is your calling. This is your destiny. Do it for Frank, Beth."

Beth laughed, rubbing her face with her hands before placing her palms back on the table. "Frank better be one extraordinary person then."

Sirius didn't respond, simply gave her a lingering look that did not match the mood of the situation. Confused, Beth glanced around before realizing suddenly that she'd placed one of her hands on top of his. Quickly pulling her hands away, she shifted uncomfortably before chancing another look at him. His eyes had not moved. His expression had not changed. He was overwhelming her senses, and he did not care, and suddenly she realized that that small contact had been the first time they'd touched each other since that horrible night. She shifted slightly away, trying to ignore the piercing gaze.

"Sorry," she apologized quietly.

His response was just as quiet. "Don't be."

Beth met his eyes, this time deliberately. His expression still had not changed. And then, without so much as a glance down, she felt his hand grab back hold of hers, and she couldn't help but intertwine their fingers together, bringing back memories that pierced her heart.

And maybe it was only because it had been several weeks since they'd really been this close to each other, but God, it felt like that night with James' parents' all over again.

"We're back!"

Beth and Sirius immediately sprang apart, looking back at the papers in front of them without so much as another glance in each other's direction. "So yeah," Sirius said, and Beth was surprised at how calm and steady his voice was. "If we sit Frank there, then you can sit here."

Beth nodded overeagerly, plastering a huge smile on her face. "I like it! I think that looks great!"

"Working hard, I see," Lily said as she came closer to the table. "Is that the seating chart that I told you to finish two months ago?"

"One month ago," Sirius clarified, "and I was just putting finishing touches on it."

"Sure," Lily said, sitting down at the table across from him and glancing at what they had written down. "No worries, I already have one made."

Sirius threw up his hands. "What was all this for then?"

"Mainly to get you off my back about volunteering to help."

Sirius turned to stare at Beth with an exasperated look covering his face, immediately causing her to laugh despite the somewhat intense moment they had just shared. "Do you hear this person?" he asked her.

Beth shrugged. "I can't say it was a bad idea."

"It got you guys talking again, I'd say it was a good one," Lily added nonchalantly, never looking up from the paper.

Beth blushed, turning her attention to James and Remus, who were now coming into the room with them. _Thank God,_ she thought. _Someone else to help keep my mind off of him._

Unfortunately for her, James would not allow that.

"You guys are friends again?" he asked loudly, sitting next to his fiancée. "When did this happen?"

"Actually," Sirius interjected before Beth could respond, "this whole thing has been a ploy. We were never actually in a relationship."

Beth bit back her laughter, immediately joining in as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "Hey, when did we decide that we were telling him this today?"

Sirius looked at her with fake confusion. "I sent you a memo."

"Must have gotten lost."

"All right, all right, shut up," James said, rolling his eyes. "You guys think you're so clever and funny just because you're back on friendly terms."

And this time, Beth looked at him first. She smiled softly. "Yeah," she said. "We are."

Sirius held her gaze, but something seemed to be prickling in the back of his mind. There was a small, small inkling of worry hidden behind his grey eyes, something that only someone who had been close to him would have noticed. She picked it up immediately but said nothing of it. _At least I hope we are,_ she thought desperately.

"So friends now?" Lily asked, peering up from the above the piece of paper. "Are you guys telling each other all your wild, crazy secrets?"

Beth laughed at this, shaking her head. "I don't think I know all of you well enough to tell my _wild,_ crazy secrets."

Lily nodded once, then looked at Sirius. "And what about you? Think you know her well enough?"

Beth watched as an odd tension passed between the two of them. It was unmistakably there, raw and rough, and Beth immediately knew there was something she was missing. She looked towards Remus and James, hoping they'd be able to telepathically communicate what unspeakable thing was going on, but they seemed to be just as perturbed by Lily's statement as Sirius. Frowning, she looked at all of them.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes," Sirius said too quickly. He took in a small breath and gave her an equally small smile. "Yes," he repeated. "Everything's fine."

"Is it?" Lily asked, standing up from the table. "I'm glad to hear it."

Another harsh look was exchanged between the two of them. Confused, Beth turned once again to Remus, who was only able to give her a smile as small as Sirius'. She was about to ask again what was wrong, what was going on when Lily spoke again.

"I'm headed off," she said, reaching down for the bag that was sitting by the door. "I'll see you guys tomorrow?"

"Wait, where are you going?" James craned his head toward the door.

Lily rolled her eyes and came behind him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I have an important date I have to start getting ready for," she said, kissing his cheek.

"But you're leaving now?"

"I'm sure you can manage one night without me," she laughed. "Besides, I think you guys have something to tell Beth about, don't you?"

 _Wait, what?_

"I'll see you tomorrow," Lily whispered, and gave him a lasting, promising kiss before she left, leaving Beth alone with three guys who looked about as nervous as a mouse hiding from a cat. The second the door closed, Beth leaned against the table.

"All right," she said. "What's going on?"

A look was shared between the three of them. She shook her head. "No, no more of these looks. Just tell me what it is that's going on."

"Shouldn't we wait for Peter to be here?" Remus asked.

"No," James said. "He said he'd meet us at the pub after his meeting."

"You are scaring me," Beth declared. "What is going on?" The two fell quiet, and Beth found herself yet _again_ looking at the man sitting beside her, hoping beyond all hope that he would let her know. "Sirius?"

He shut his eyes, taking in a deep sigh before facing her fully. "There is something we have to tell you," he finally said.

"What?"

Sirius looked at the two sitting across from them, waiting for a response. Beth wanted to scream. Whatever it was that was going on, it couldn't be that serious. Could it? When Remus and James both gave nods of approval, he looked back at her, clutching her hand in his again.

"Beth," he whispered her name like a prayer, and she felt her heart clench in anticipation. A moment passed, and then he said, "I'm pregnant."

It took her much longer than she'd care to admit to process what he said.

Then she smacked his arm.

"Sirius Black!" she yelled, throwing her head back into laughter. "I hate you!"

"You should have seen your face," he laughed as he pointed at her face. "You totally bought it for a second."

She shook her head, still laughing. "Is that really what this is all about? Are you just purposefully trying to rile me up?"

Sirius was still laughing, and she looked over to see how James and Remus had reacted. There wasn't even a trace of a smile from either of them.

"No," Remus said, a little more calculated and determined than the person she'd come to know. His stern response quieted her laughter. "We do have something to tell you."

Beth felt all the happiness wash away as her nerves began to settle in. It wasn't like them to be so serious. James, for heaven's sake, had hardly said a word since he came through the door, and he wasn't looking at her now. She sighed. "Can it at least wait until I go to the bathroom?"

"Yes, yes, yes," Remus waved to the general direction, ushering her off. "Please, by all means."

Beth gave a shaky smile in response before she walked to the small washroom and closed the door. Whatever was going on had to be fairly serious. Scenario after scenario ran through her head, trying to weed out whatever was impossible. _One of them's dying,_ she thought. _One of them killed someone. One of them has tricked me into working at the wrong company. One of them is a robot._ Thought after thought, idea after idea, ran through her mind, until suddenly she was drowning in a sea of possibilities. There was something wrong, something that involved her in some way, but also involved all of them, and apparently Peter as well. Lily had left fairly quickly too. She knew. She knew something was wrong and left so that they could all address it. The wedding was still on, that much she knew. What could possibly be so troubling that all of them needed to talk to her about it?

Taking a deep, long breath as she looked in the mirror, she tried to mentally prepare herself for whatever was in store for her, sighing in frustration when it did nothing to help. Just as she opened the door, however, she heard voices coming from down the hall. Cracking it open, she shamelessly began to eavesdrop on what they were saying.

"…had to."

"But why?" she heard James asked. "Why would you joke about it right before?"

"She's going to hate all of us for this," Sirius said. Her hand tightened into a fist. What was he going on about? "Especially me after all that I… I just—I had to make her smile one last time."

Her heart clenched at the admission, and worry overthrew every emotion she had. Beth opened up the door, prepared and armored and ready for whatever nonsense they were about to throw her way.

And yet even her wildest dreams couldn't have possibly prepared her for the bombshell they then dropped on her.

* * *

She hadn't said a word since they told her. She'd been sitting there now, silent and motionless, for about five minutes. Her hands were folded tightly in her lap, and she stared at them with a blank but strong intensity.

This, this was the most painful sight Sirius had yet to see. He'd watched her face shift all throughout their conversation, from the moment she thought that everything was a joke to the moment she realized it was all too true. It had been almost unbearable to watch as they delicately tried to explain that the life she had known with them was almost entirely a lie, that there was another world she knew virtually nothing about, and that they were all a part of it. She'd taken it in as much of a stride as she had been able to, only interjecting occasionally to ask clarifying questions, never to doubt.

He'd been right in saying that she would hate him. How could she not, particularly when he announced that he'd obliviated her memories? He knew it would happen, knew that she would be distraught at the knowledge of how he'd manipulated her. But she'd maintained eye contact as he told her, and he'd watched as her opinion of him shifted even more so than it had already. When he'd finished, she'd looked away, and he had yet to meet her eyes directly since then.

Remus and James had tried to explain a bit about the Order, telling her that a number of the wedding guests were a part of it and that talk would be circulating about the war that they were currently in. She was greatly unperturbed by the idea of a war going on, probably assuming that it wasn't as drastic as they all knew it was. And why would she think that it was some catastrophic event? She had no knowledge of it. It was not in the muggle news. Surely, something that she didn't have any knowledge about couldn't be that chaotic, right? And so they'd had to explain in greater detail all that had happened, all that was going on, and soon she was refusing to look at them too.

And then she'd just sat there. Taking it all in, absorbing all that she'd heard, processing all that'd been said. It was the most uncomfortable silence Sirius had ever felt himself be in, and that included all of the family dinners he'd been forced to go to after he was sorted into Gryffindor. Because at least then, there was still talk, even if it was all directly negative towards him. Her saying nothing after hearing _everything_ , that was torture worthy of Voldemort himself.

"I think-" she finally said, still looking at the ground as all three of their heads quickly snapped to her attention. "I think I'm going to go lay down."

"Beth—" James started to say, but she simply shook her head and stood up.

"No, I'm just going to lay down for a bit. I should probably start packing too." She walked down the hall towards her room slowly, still refusing to look at any of them. "You guys are leaving for the night anyway, you should go."

"Beth—"

"Just go. Have fun."

Remus called out after her. "We're sorry, Beth."

She paused for a moment, hand already on the doorknob, and then she looked up at Sirius. Out of the three people standing there, she chose him, and while it made sense for her to do so (he _was_ standing directly in her viewpoint), she chose _him._ And despite how desperately he'd wanted her to make some sort of contact with them to let them know that she was at least still alive, the look she gave was full of distrust and unbelief and hurt, kin to the one she'd thrown at him several months ago in a dark alley after he blurted out the secret that they had so carefully deconstructed today. It felt as if he was standing across from her all over again, wand at the ready to clean her mind, and he found himself wishing at that moment that she had chosen someone else to look at.

She held that gaze for a moment longer before entering the room, shutting out the animagus, blood traitor, and werewolf with a definite slam.

* * *

A/N: I'm still here!

To make up for my ridiculously long hiatus, here is a nice, long chapter for you all. I cannot promise the next update will be quick, but I can promise that the groundwork has been laid out. I am constantly writing ideas and snapshots out, whether it's in my journal during my classes (don't be like me, study hard) or on my computer. I have it all laid out in my mind. It's just a matter of doing it.

Thank you, nimblescrivener, for pushing me to finish this, even if you didn't know you were.

To all those who have recently followed, favorited, or reviewed, you helped kick my butt into gear! Please, PLEASE keep it up. It motivates me more than you could ever know.

Thankful for each and every single one of you.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

In everything that she could have imagined they would tell her, dropping this bombshell was one of the last things that had ever crossed her mind.

Beth looked at the small clock by her bed, cringing when she saw the time. 12:13. That meant she'd been lying here, trying to figure out what to do with this information, for two and a half hours. Two and a half hours, and she still had no idea what to make of everything.

So magic was real. Not the clowns and magicians type of magic she was used to growing up, but for real magic. That's how James had clumsily first announced it, at least. _For real magic._ What did that even mean? They'd tried to describe some of what that entailed, pulling out wands that looked like the cheap toys you could buy at any department store. But no, apparently these were real, though Beth's first instinct when they showed a small object levitating was still to ask, _Where did you learn to do that trick?_

It was a mess, whatever this situation was. She didn't know what she was supposed to do with the information now that she had it. Did they seriously expect her to just move on, pretend that this was normal, accept that this was now a part of her life? She rolled her eyes. It would have been less surprising if they'd told her that they had reincarnated Winston Churchill and that he would be officiating the wedding tomorrow. With that, at least, she'd have a good story to tell. This _for real magic_ thing though, she had a feeling she wouldn't be able to tell anyone about.

Beth flopped a pillow on top of her head. This was ridiculous. Ridiculous and messy and plain weird, if she was going to be honest. She didn't know what she was going to do to tomorrow. Smile and wave and say hi as if she hadn't just learned this life-altering information? Pretend like everything was okay when people introduced themselves? Were they all going to think that she could do this too, or was it going to be blatantly obvious when she walked in the door that something was off?

She groaned. This wedding was not supposed to be such a stress-inducing event.

A _knock knock knock_ came from her door. "Beth?"

She glanced back over at the clock. 12:16. Had it really only been three minutes? "Yeah?"

"Are you up?" James asked her.

"Evidently."

He cracked open the door slightly, peering his head through the gap. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she snapped a little too harshly, hardly finding the patience to care. She crossed her arms over her chest. "You're back earlier than I thought you'd be."

"Yeah, well," he entered the room a little more, "none of us really felt like staying out."

She nodded tersely. "That's my fault, is it?"

"No," he said, shaking his head convincingly. "Of course not. It's ours."

Beth was about to respond, but James continued, "I actually do have a reason for coming in to see you. I have a question."

"Okay."

"Am I supposed to have a gift for Lily tomorrow?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Like a wedding gift?"

"Yes," he responded, running fingers through his shaggy hair. "I was always under the impression that we're already getting married, there wasn't a need to get a gift, but Peter said he heard Lily talking about what to get me, and now I don't know if I need to have one for her too."

Beth smiled, shifting in her bed to sit up a bit straighter. "You're kind of waiting until the last second to think about this, don't you think?"

"I didn't know until tonight."

"You and Lily didn't talk about it?"

"I would not be asking you what to do if she had."

"Fair point," she agreed. "Then yes, I'd say you should probably have one for her."

"I was afraid you'd say that," he groaned, bringing his hands up to rub his face. He paused after a moment, then brought his eyes up to meet hers. "Hey, Beth—"

Beth sighed. "James—"

"Will you please help me find a gift that will convince Lily to go through with the wedding?"

"You have no reason to think that she won't."

"No, I know that," he said. "But I just … I want it to be perfect for her, because I know she's put in so much time to make everything go smoothly, and I've already probably, I'm assuming, ruined this trip for you—"

"James—"

"—and I don't want anything to go wrong or to happen that would make her wonder why she's marrying me. So if I need a gift, I need a gift that will convince her that she's making the right choice." He paused, staring intensely at her. "I know that it's unfair for me to ask you for help, especially after today, but I can't ask—or well, I could, but I don't want—I'm asking for your help. I need your help."

Beth stared at him, his big doe eyes staring back. Even in the shadows, save for the small light coming from the hallway, she could see the desperation. James wasn't exactly shy about wearing his emotions on his sleeve, and while she usually loved him for it, today it was guilt tripping her. Sighing, she took another look at the clock.

"All of the shops are going to be closed."

"We'll find one," he assured her.

"Not a good one."

"I'm sure there has to be a pawn shop or something open. We'll find something."

She shook her head before throwing the covers off of her. "Give me a minute to get dressed."

* * *

"I told you it would be closed," she said. It was their third stop, a small, local jewelry store in town that would in no way still be open at such a late hour. It was a futile effort. She knew it, he knew it, everyone they'd asked for suggestions knew it. James was nothing if not determined, however, and she continued to follow him as they came up with new ideas of where to go.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Should we check the dodgy part of town? There might be something open there."

"James, it's nearly one in the morning. The only places open right now are pubs."

"I don't even know what we could get for her at a pub."

Beth shrugged. "Do you want to try one and find out? Maybe the bartender could have some ideas, or at least know some places that would still be open."

He nodded, hurriedly walking back to the car and sliding in. "Worst comes to worst, I could always just buy her a bottle of red wine. She can drink it when getting ready tomorrow or something."

Beth rolled her eyes. "James, she's not going to drink red wine in her wedding dress."

"What?" he asked as they began to drive. "Why not?"

"She's wearing a white dress, right?"

"Yes, but—oh. Maybe white wine then."

She smiled, trying to hold back a yawn as James turned down the empty street. Her body ached for sleep—craved it, really—and yet her mind was still reeling from the earlier events of the day. She was exhausted and yet fully awake, and no matter how hard she tried, she could not get the phrase _for real magic_ out of her head. It was seeping into every fiber of her being, ringing through her head like Quasimodo himself was in charge. This "adventure" had helped tone it out some, but every time they reentered this car it came back, louder and stronger and more declarative than before.

She fidgeted nervously with her fingers, keeping her eyes straight ahead in the midst of the silence. In another time or moment, she might have commented on how they'd hardly managed to stay silent since she'd arrived. Now, though, she wasn't sure she could even begin to joke about the awkwardness she was sure he felt too.

James cleared his throat. "I think I know one we could go to," he said. "We go in there fairly often. They might be able to—."

"I have a question."

It was so random and quick that Beth didn't realize she'd said it until she saw James looking at her. She met his gaze with a long pause as the realization that she'd actually said what she was thinking He looked just as shocked and nervous as she felt. At least she was in good company.

He gulped and turned his head back towards the road. "Yes?"

 _Well, actually, I have 37_ , she wanted to respond. Looking down at her hands again, she racked her brain for something, anything, that could help begin to organize the clanging in her mind. She settled on,

"Why was Sirius' first instinct to tell me he was pregnant?"

James let out a loud laugh and looked back at her. "Out of all the questions I'm sure you have, that's the one you start with?"

She raised her hands up. "It's a legitimate question," she defended.

"And you think I have the answer, do you?"

"You would certainly know better than me."

He laughed again, shaking his head. "Beth, I honestly don't know what to tell you about that other than he has a flair for the dramatic."

"Wait, Sirius?" Beth asked in mock confusion. "Really?"

"Shocker, right?"

She laughed along with him, thankful that some of the awkwardness had been alleviated. Taking in a deep breath, she continued, "I do have some questions, though."

He nodded. "I was hoping you would ask them. What do you want to know?"

She started with the first question that popped into her mind. "You've been able to do magic for as long as I've known you?"

He nodded. "As long as I've been alive, actually. It's an inherited trait. Both of my parents can, their parents can."

"And that's why Lily and Sirius and Remus and Peter can too?"

"Only Sirius and Peter have both parents as wizards," he corrected, shifting in his seat. "Remus' dad is a wizard, but his mom isn't. Neither of Lily's parents are, or her younger sister."

"But they knew about all of this beforehand, right?"

James shook his head. "They found out at the same time she did."

"Oh," Beth replied, feeling slightly better knowing she wasn't alone in being completely in the dark. At least with her, it simply changed the way she was viewing the wedding, not her entire lifestyle. "How did they take the news?"

He shrugged. "More or less the same way you did. They've accepted it pretty well, though. Her parents will be at the wedding."

"Not her sister?"

He shook his head. "That's too complicated for one in the morning, though."

She nodded in understanding, deciding to move on to the next question. "Why couldn't you tell me about it earlier?"

He hesitated a moment, then said, "Technically, you're not supposed to know at all."

"Why not?"

"For the same reason it's not common knowledge, I suppose. It breaks the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy."

Beth laughed aloud. "That's a bit of a mouthful."

He smiled along with her. "Yeah, it's a pain in the butt, too. Essentially, it states that we are not allowed to cause any harm or draw notice of muggles, or people who can't do magic, rather. Causes a whole string of messes every day."

"Really?" she asked. "Why?"

"Do you realize how difficult it is to find an integral part of yourself to just a stranger, let alone one of your best friends? It kind of changes your lifestyle."

Beth's heart clenched at that, and she dropped her head down. "I hadn't thought of it like that."

"And there's no reason why you should have," he assured her. "When I was growing up, I was taught to only cross the street after looking both ways and to not let muggles know about magic. It was simply part of my education. But my parents were determined to not let my life be defined by what I could do. There's a lot of people that grow up in this elitist, entitled community where all they know is this wizarding world. That wasn't my parents, though. They knew the importance of not living life in a bubble and appreciating people for who they were, not what they were."

She looked up at him and smiled back when he saw her grinning fondly at her. "And that's how I met you," he said.

Her heart glowed at the memory of meeting him for the first time, remembering how wary they had been of each other initially and how quickly they'd both gotten over it. Never in her wildest dreams would she imagine that she'd only _truly_ be getting to know him all these years later.

"I'm honestly surprised you didn't find it out before now," he joked. "There were a couple of times I thought you'd for sure figured it out."

She shook her head and laughed. "No," she confirmed. "I had no idea."

"I guess we're better at keeping secrets than I thought," he mumbled.

Beth recalled the conversation they'd had only hours ago, a certain story sticking out in her head more than the others. "Sirius apparently isn't, though."

"What?"

She straightened in her chair. "I said, 'Sirius apparently isn't, though.'"

"Oh, you mean him taking away your memories?"

She nodded.

He sighed loudly. "Honestly, Beth, that was probably the best thing he could have done in that situation."

She tensed at his declaration, and she folded her hands tightly in her lap. "I don't know if I agree."

"Yeah," he whispered. "It'd be hard to convince you to."

"I just—" She groaned, trying to find the right words to say, feeling the remnants of hurt resurface. "It just seems like it's such an intrusion of privacy. I mean, have you ever had to do it to me?"

"No."

"So one of my best friends, one that I've known for almost my entire life, hasn't had to take away memories, but this boy I used to date had to in a matter of weeks to save face?"

He nodded. "I know, Beth."

"Doesn't that seem off to you? Doesn't it seem like it should be the other way around?"

"It does."

She threw her hands up in frustration. "So does that mean that you're extra careful or he's extra sloppy?"

James hesitated. "The reason why he did it… I would have done it, too."

She paused at that, but his eyes remained glued to the road, almost as if he was refusing to look at her. "What was it, then?"

He took in a shaky breath. "I can't tell you."

Beth rolled her eyes. "James—"

"I want to tell you. I do. But I can't. He's the one who can tell you why, not me."

"Why?"

He paused as if the words he needed were hanging in the air. "It stems from a very personal matter," he settled on. "It's not my story to tell."

"So you're not going to tell me just like you didn't tell me about this whole double life thing you've got going on?" she snapped.

He shook his head. "You can't manipulate me with that, Beth," he said calmly. "I know you too well. It won't work."

She sighed, murmuring an apology before considering all he'd said. _He's the one who can tell you why._ "He's not going to want to tell me."

"If you ask him, he will."

She hadn't expected that response. She supposed it was true, but it still took her by surprise. "Well, maybe I don't know if I want to talk to him about it," she offered.

"Beth, with all due respect, you're talking to me."

She shrugged. "You're one of my best friends."

He nodded. "Doesn't it make more sense for you to be mad at the person you've known for what, fifteen years, rather than the person you met this summer?"

"James, of course I'm not going to be mad at you. I'm a little hurt and upset that you didn't tell me, but I'm not mad."

"So you're trying to find a reason to stay mad at him?"

She sighed heavily. _Yes._ "No."

"Would it change your mind if I said that he was the one who decided to tell you, not me?"

Beth's brow furrowed. "He was the one?"

James nodded.

"But why?"

"Because he wanted to be open and honest with you, and I still wanted to hold onto the idea that everything would be okay if you never knew."

Her face dropped. "Why wouldn't you want me to know?"

He sighed, clutching the steering wheel a little tighter as they turned down the street. "Because it's still dangerous," he said. "The war that we told you about, it's real. We have every protection imaginable ready for tomorrow, and I can personally guarantee that nothing will happen to you. But it's dangerous, and I didn't want you to have to be involved in something you had no reason to worry about."

It made sense, she supposed. If the war was truly as terrible as they had been saying, it would stand to reason that they wouldn't tell her about it. What was the point of terrifying someone for no reason? "But what if something had happened to you? What was I going to be told?"

He grimaced. "Thankfully, now we'll never have to know."

Beth took in everything he'd said as they turned into the pub car park. It made sense. She certainly had fewer questions. There were some still pressing in the back of her mind, of course, but she knew enough to keep her satisfied, at least for the time being. Had she completely processed all that she'd been told today? Absolutely not. But he was her friend, and instead of someone who had lied to her in the name of keeping her safe, the only person she could still manage to see was the five-year-old boy that had lived next door. She saw the countless hours at the park, the sleepovers in matching pajamas, and the snowball fights in clothing that made them look like marshmallows.

He had hidden an importantly huge part of his life from her. That was hard to swallow. There was an entire side to him that she'd never known, and she figured she would never fully understand. But for now, she was here. She'd spent years cultivating and maintaining their friendship, determined to never let it fade, and now she was mere hours away from watching him marry the love of his life.

It didn't matter that she didn't know as much as she thought she did about him. What she knew was that he was her friend. He had always been her friend. That much had never changed. Through all the magic, through all the secrets, their friendship had never wavered, and in the end, wasn't that what was most important?

"I'm glad you know about everything, now," James said after a moment. "I'm sorry it took so long to tell you, but now that you know, I'm really glad that you do."

"Really?" she smiled.

"Of course." He turned his head, looking at her fully for the first time since they'd gotten into the car. "You're one of the closest friends I have. If I lost you, I wouldn't ever have an excuse to travel to the States."

She laughed. "I'm glad I know where my worth is at."

"Yes, that's the only thing you have going for you."

Beth laughed again, moving to open the door, but James spoke, "But listen, don't be mad at Sirius."

She sank back into her seat. "Why not?"

"You have every right to be, I get that." He unbuckled his seat belt. "But try not to be. Try to listen to him. He really wanted to make sure we told you everything in the least threatening, most lighthearted way."

"Oh, so that's why he told me he was pregnant."

"Unless you actually knocked him up and have something to tell me," he said, wriggling his eyebrows in suspicion.

She lightly pushed him and rolled her eyes. "Let's go get Lily some wine."

* * *

A/N: Hello, and happy new year! Nimblescrivener practically wrote this chapter, so give her a big hand for all of her hard work.

The wedding is the next chapter! We've made so much progress, and there's still so much to go! What do you think will happen? How do you think it'll all go down? Do you think she'll actually leave and go back? Let me know!

Please be sure to read, review, favorite, and follow. I love getting the notifications from you all.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Potential Trigger Warning:** Beth finds out about Sirius' home life with his parents. I don't go into it very much at all, but it is blatantly addressed by an outside party that he was verbally abused. I want you all to be happy and healthy, so if this is an issue for you, skip the part when someone goes to get someone else food (vague, I know, but I don't want to spoil anything!)

Happy reading!

* * *

Beth sat across the street holding the address in her hand, simply watching people enter the venue. It was here, the day that had been the entire purpose of her visit, and she was sitting away from it all in a small moment of worry.

They didn't look much different from her, all these people entering. Then again, neither did James or Sirius, or anyone she knew who had these abilities—which, she'd realized last night as she'd talked to James, was more than she would have thought. They'd picked out a bottle of wine in minutes, but their conversation had lasted much longer. It was well into the early signs of morning before they finally bid each other goodnight, friendship renewed and past hurts forgiven.

But now it was more than simply talking to James. Now, there was person after person entering this building that might as well be another world, and she was alone. The only friends she had were certainly going to be busy the entire time. Objectively, she knew that she'd be in this situation regardless, but at least then she'd assumed she could blend in. Would it be obvious now that she was different?

Taking a breath, she slowly edged closer, willing herself to have a good time like it was a mantra. James would have said if he thought she'd feel uncomfortable. He would have warned her if there was something to worry about. She would have fun.

Worst comes to worst, she could always just leave early.

"Oh, thank God," Remus said when he saw her, pulling her into his arms for a hug.

She laughed as she returned it. "Honestly, Remus, you think I'm going to miss the only reason I decided to come?"

"We weren't sure, but now," he pulled back and grasped her cheeks, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead, "It's Christmas." He bent slightly further down, making sure she met his eyes directly. "And you're all right? No secret desire to kill us all?"

"It's still a little weird," she admitted, glancing over to watch a couple enlarge a small box with a wand and place it on the gift table. "And I can only assume it'll get weirder as the day goes on, but James said that I'm hardly the first person to be surprised by this, so that helps."

Remus nodded. "The way I understand it, my mother left my father when he told her. Came back the next day though, and then nine months later I was born, so she apparently took it pretty well."

Beth laughed again at his candidness. He was in a far greater mood than he had been yesterday, and it was refreshing to see his smiling face again.

"So listen," he said, still with a hint of a smile on his face. "I have to stand up front and act all orderly and such, but I can have you sit next to somebody if you'd like. I have a couple of options—"

"Oh, don't worry about it," she said, shaking her head. "I'll just sit wherever."

His brow furrowed. "Do you want me to escort you, at least?"

"You're a dear," she said, grasping his arm. "But no, I'll be fine, I promise."

"Okay," he responded, glancing at his watch. "I don't need to be there until—well, actually no, it starts in five minutes, but I'll see you after, yeah? Come check up on you, see how things are going?"

"I'd like that," she smiled.

"Fantastic," he replied, kissing her hand before turning to walk away. "You look lovely, you are lovely, I'm really glad you're here," he called out, then disappeared into the crowd.

She took a deep breath as she glanced at the people surrounding her, almost expecting to see a familiar face popping up out of nowhere. The chances were slim to none, she knew, but the thought was too appealing to altogether forget. Luckily, no one seemed to give her any particular notice other than an older woman, who smiled gently at her as she passed by. _This is good_ , she thought, thinking to herself that she just might be able to blend in with the crowd.

She began to head into the ceremony space, her eye-catching a flower blooming on a large piece of ribbon as she did. Beth stopped and stared at it incredulously, finding herself absolutely enraptured as she watched it continue on with each embellished flower.

Which, of course, made someone run directly into her.

"I'm so sorry," she began apologizing immediately, turning around to face the person behind her. "I got distracted by the—"

His mouth was slightly ajar, his eyes wide and shining with surprise. "Hi."

"Hi," she said, finding herself suddenly short of breath.

Of course it was him.

They stared at each other for a long, uncomfortable moment. "I'm sorry," Sirius said, taking her completely in. "I didn't realize it was you."

"Well, it's the same dress I wore to Caitlin's wedding," she laughed quietly. "Shouldn't have been a big surprise."

A small smile came to his face, and she was surprised to see that it reached his eyes. "Oh yes, our first date."

Beth's heart tightened. "It wasn't a date."

"I think it was."

 _He looks so wonderfully amazing in that suit._

 _Wait, what?_ She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "Yeah, you would."

"Well, this situation's nearly the same," he said, looking around the room. "Perhaps I could have the opportunity to try again?"

Beth stared at him incredulously in response, forcing down words that she knew would only make the situation worse but that so desperately wanted to be said. He read her expression correctly, though, and immediately the teasing smile that had accompanied the question raced away.

"Perhaps not," he whispered, standing there blankly for a brief moment before turning to walk away. "Forgive me, I believe I'm needed elsewhere."

"Sirius," she called out.

He paused his walking and looked at her once more. She had so many questions, craved so many answers, and for the life of her, not a single one came to mind as she stared deep into his eyes. She couldn't stand him, she reminded herself. She was hurt and upset with him. But he was right. The situation was nearly the same as all those weeks ago when she'd found herself enraptured by the flirtatious audacity he exuded when he'd swept her onto the dance floor and made her laugh uncontrollably, when he'd taken her back and stood by the doorway and pressed—

"Don't worry," he said. "You're just as beautiful now as you were that day."

God, she hated him.

* * *

"Molly, Arthur, this is James' friend Beth," Peter said as he pulled her seat out for her. "She's new to all of this, so please do try and make her feel less awkward."

"Wow, thanks Peter," Beth laughed as she sat down.

"You certainly could have singled her out a bit more," Molly teased, pressing her hand onto Beth's. "Don't worry, dear, you'll know more about all of us than you'd care to admit by the time the night is over."

"Just as long as it's not me you're talking about, Molly," Peter retorted. "I need her to remember at least _some_ good about me."

"No promises."

Peter leaned down slightly closer to Beth as Molly and Arthur laughed. "You'll come get one of us if you need anything?"

"I will," she smiled brightly at him, patting his arm. "Thank you. Tell James he looks beautiful."

"Will do."

The wedding was stunning. Breathtaking, honestly, was probably the better word for it. Absolutely enrapturing, gorgeous, and so heartfelt that she, along with many others, was crying within moments. James hadn't even tried to contain himself when Lily began walking down the aisle, and Lily smiled so wide during the entire ceremony that Beth was sure her cheeks were killing her.

And now they were married. Mr. and Mrs. James and Lilly Potter, tied together for life, and so obviously happy that it couldn't help but spread to even the most unpleasant looking guests. They had laughed and smiled and looked so adoringly at each other for the entire ceremony, and Beth was overwhelmed with happiness when the officiant finally declared that the two could kiss. After years and years of pining, wishing, and writing her over and over and over about how desperately in love with her he was, they were now as paired together as they legally could be, and it was wonderful.

Now they were sitting amongst a large table with the other members of the bridal party, Peter taking his seat next to Remus. There were conversations going on between every person there, laughter coming from nearly everyone, but James and Lily sat there in blissful ignorance of everyone else, gazing at each other with more love than Beth had ever seen. Her heart nearly exploded with joy when he brought her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to it. This, she realized, would be her definition of happiness for the rest of her life, for what could possibly compare to the serenity of love?

Her eyes darted across to Sirius, his proximity to James making him impossible to ignore. To absolutely no surprise of hers, he met her gaze at that exact moment, because of course it had to happen that way. He didn't look away, though, instead raising his glass to her and taking a big drink of his champagne.

Despite herself, Beth returned the gesture.

"So Beth," Arthur said, leaning in closer and bringing her attention away from Sirius, "I understand that you have a great amount of intelligence about the muggle world."

Beth laughed. "I guess you could say that."

"Tell me, what exactly is the purpose of a rolling chair?"

"Arthur, dear, would you be an angel and get me some food? I'd go myself but," Molly placed a hand over her rounded stomach, "I'm feeling a bit queasy."

Immediately he stood and kissed the top of her head. "Anything for you, my dear. We'll discuss more when I get back, Beth."

Molly smiled her thanks and watched him head towards the opposite side of the room. As soon as he was out of sight, she turned quickly towards Beth. "My dear husband is planning on asking you an obscene amount of questions. He was beside himself when we were told that you came from the muggle world."

Beth laughed nervously, reaching for her cup. "I don't mind him asking."

"You're the first," Molly said, leaning in towards her. "I'm sure you were warned about us before you sat down."

Beth shook her head vehemently as she swallowed her drink. "No, no, not warned," she protested. "I was simply told that he would be very easy to talk to."

"Well, that's a good mindset to give to you, I suppose," Molly chuckled. "Arthur's one of the greatest men in the world. A terrific husband, an even better father, but dangerously curious about anything and everything. He's a car hidden on our property that he's convinced he can get to fly." She nodded towards the table next to them. "Of course, he got the idea from Sirius. Still need to have a word with him about that."

Beth's heart sped up at his name, and she chanced a look towards the man in question. He was laughing with James wholeheartedly about something. She quickly turned her head away from him, doing everything in her power to keep her focus on Molly. "From Sirius?"

Molly nodded. "Him and his blasted flying motorbike. Did he ever introduce you to that thing?"

Beth thought of that first night watching the sunset, the day before her internship started. "A couple of times," she said absently. "But I didn't know it could fly."

"No?" Molly asked incredulously. "I find that surprising. I'd have thought for sure he would have shown you the second you found out about this whole other world. You must ask him to show you before you leave. He's much too proud of it to keep it hidden forever."

Beth smiled softly and looked back at him. "It's the only thing he loves more than sex and James."

Molly nearly spat her drink out at the statement. "That's the most accurate thing I've ever heard," she laughed. "Although I guess you would know, wouldn't you?"

Beth stiffened at the implication. "What?"

"Well I'm sure he was around, wasn't he?" Molly asked. "You must have had plenty of opportunities to get to know him."

 _She doesn't know_ , Beth realized with a start. She must not have been told her about their relationship. _Or no,_ she thought, _their fling._ For the best, probably. _"_ Lily told me that, actually."

"Ah," Molly said. "My mistake. But certainly, you know him fairly well, at least? Would you say it's true?"

"I think so," she responded.

Molly shrugged. "I certainly wouldn't know," she said, reaching for her water again. "I was done and gone from Hogwarts when he started. Of course, you always hear stories. Whether people choose to believe it or not, the wizarding world isn't as vast as they like to make it appear to be. Word always gets around. I still remember finding out about him."

 _Finding out about him?_ she thought. _What was there to find out?_ She glanced back at him again, finding him now talking intensely with Peter. "About what?"

"Oh, you know," she said. "The whole scandal of him being sorted into Gryffindor. His entire family disowning him and whatnot. I'm surprised it didn't make the front page of _The Prophet_ with how much people were talking about it. Would have been a much better exposé than the usual drabble they make up."

 _His family what?_ She turned back to Molly, trying to find a question that gave her the information she desired without letting on that she had no idea what Molly was talking about. "People were talking about it?"

"Certainly," Molly nodded. "It's not often that a family switches houses. Usually, you follow the line of whatever your parents were sorted into, and they're all Slytherin on his side, or at least they were. Now he's the black sheep, so to speak. His brother being sorted into Slytherin rather sealed the deal on that one. And then, of course, there was the whole fiasco with him leaving. I don't know what he would have done if the Potter's hadn't been willing to take him in."

"James told me about him moving in," she whispered. _But he didn't tell me why._

"He did tell you, then? Of course, he'd have to, wouldn't he? You being such close friends and all." Molly looked at him and sighed, and Beth found herself looking at him too. "Poor dear. Nearly broke my heart when word got out about how awful they'd been to him. Never physically abusive, or at least he didn't let on that they were, but certainly verbally. His mother was the worst, from what I heard. She was the one who actually disowned him. Blasted him off the family tree and everything. Now whenever they're mentioned in the papers, they're listed as only having one son." Molly shrugged and placed a hand over her stomach protectively. "Simply cannot imagine. Must be why he carries on the way that he does. He's got to be desperate for love. Anyway, here I am monologuing about the person you've just spent the entire summer with. Certainly, you know all of this already."

She shook her head. "No, I didn't."

"He didn't tell you?" Molly chuckled lightly to herself. "Well then, I just doled out an unnecessary amount of personal information. Shows how starved I am of adult conversation, I'll tell you that. Oh," she said, reaching out to her husband, "Arthur, darling, thank you."

The husband and wife immediately broke off into a separate conversation, leaving Beth alone to deal with all of the new information she had to sort through. It certainly … explained a lot, she thought, was the nicest way to put it. Explained why he had those flirtatious tendencies. Explained his strong attachment to James. Explained why he never wanted to speak about his family. Everything about him suddenly made sense, and yet at the same time, she was still so confused.

She had a feeling she wouldn't be able to sort it out any time soon.

Making her excuses, Beth walked outside, desperately craving fresh air. As soon as the fresh air hit her face, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. Slowly, she felt everything melt away. Everything Molly had just told her, every encounter she'd had, every thought plaguing her mind vanished with each breath she took, and she felt herself reach a normalcy that had been missing since yesterday.

There was so much. So much she did not know, so much she did not understand. She tried to remind herself that she was leaving in less than 48 hours and that it wouldn't matter after that; it did little to calm her nerves. So instead, she focused on the fact that, at least for now, she had this moment away from every unfamiliar thing that was begging to make her acquaintance, this moment to remember that despite everything, she was still herself. That would not change.

Opening her eyes, she took in her surroundings. A man was standing by a lampost not too far from her, staring at her in curiosity. Smiling back, she gave a short nod in greeting. The man did not return it but simply turned his focus onto the doors leading to the reception.

Beth shifted, growing slightly uneasy at being around this mysterious looking man. She turned back to head inside, deciding that she'd had a long enough moment to herself before Remus would begin to worry. She hoped desperately that sense of peace she'd had only moments ago would follow.

"You need not leave."

Beth turned her head towards the man. He spoke deliberately, enunciating each syllable with certainty, but made no move to come closer. Instead, he crossed his arms across his chest and stared at her again. She went to respond that she was just leaving anyway, but he interrupted her.

"I did not think I would be in anyone's company when I came."

She froze, keeping herself at a distance from him. "I'm sorry to bother you."

He shook his head. "You are not."

The man intrigued her. Dressed in as much black as he was, she couldn't imagine he'd feel comfortable in the August weather. His eyes were piercing and cold and were just as dark as the hair that framed his thin face. Surely, she would have noticed him inside, would have been introduced to him when Peter had escorted her around. She walked towards him slowly, and while she maintained her distance, her curiosity was piqued.

"Are you here for the bride or the groom?" she offered.

His eyes flashed, then focused back on the doors. "I was not invited."

"Oh," Beth said apologetically.

"It's no matter," he said, a tinge of sadness stinging his voice. "I knew I would not be."

She remained silent for a long moment, unsure of how to respond. The man was still staring ahead at the doors, looking at them as if they contained water as he died of thirst. He so obviously longed to enter, and yet would not move to try. When a great burst of laughter came from inside, his eyes squinted and his brow furrowed, as if in disappointment.

"Is she happy?" he asked.

Beth glanced back towards the doors and somehow knew exactly who he was thinking of. She thought of the ceremony, and the overwhelmingly joyful smile on her face as she walked down the aisle. "Yes," she replied.

When she looked back at him, his eyes were closed, and Beth had the feeling that this was not the answer he wanted to hear. She regarded him for a moment more, and then he opened his eyes.

"Is she beautiful?"

Beth was taken back by the innocence of the question and paused a moment before responding. When she went to speak though, he shook his head.

"What a simple question," he murmured. "Of course she is, she always has been."

The man stood straight, clasping his hands behind his back, and stepped closer. Beth immediately backed away, unsure of what he was going to do. She thought for a brief moment that he was about to enter, invitation or not, and worried that she would not be able to find the strength to try to hold him back. Instead, however, he stood before the doors and simply regarded them, noticing every detail there was to see.

"You do not know who I am." It was not a question.

She shook her head. "No."

The man nodded. "She will. They all will. The second you tell them someone is standing outside, they will know." He turned his head, not fully so as to see her, but just enough that she could see his eyes shining. "Do not tell her today."

Beth nodded, unsure of how else to respond. The man, content, looked back towards the doors, his hands still firmly grasped behind his back. "She deserves today," he said. "Though he does not deserve her."

She thought of James' tears when he saw her walking down the aisle and the sheer emotion that choked his voice as he said his vows to her. She thought of how warmly he held her hand throughout the ceremony, and how tender and loving that first kiss had been. Didn't deserve her? She could think of no better match.

"But then again," he mumbled, almost whispering, "neither do I."

This time he turned towards her fully, staring so fully into her eyes that Beth felt he could almost read her mind. His face softened, though not entirely, and somehow she knew it was done to make her feel more at ease.

"If you ever find an opportunity to love as I have, do not be like me." He hung his head low, and this time did whisper. "A coward. It is only at this moment that I would admit it."

He looked back into her eyes. "Please," he said calmly. "Do not tell her today."

Beth stared back at him for a long moment, trying to piece together who this man could be. Instead of asking, she simply nodded, too frightened to want to hear the answer. "I won't."

She thought she saw the corners of his mouth slightly turn up, but they were back in the thin line before she could blink. Finally, he nodded his head to her. "I am in your debt."

And with that, the man walked away.

* * *

Beth didn't tell anyone anything when she walked back in. No one seemed to particularly notice that she was gone, which was relieving for her. The last thing she needed was more attention to the apparently obvious fact that she didn't belong here.

She returned to her table and talked with Molly and Arthur some more, managing to steer all topics of Sirius away. They were a lovely and willing distraction from everything, and Beth quickly realized why everyone had been so insistent on seating her here. They were calm and fun and easy to talk to, and Arthur was so greatly intrigued by the way that she grew up that she could not have denied him a question if she wanted to.

Remus stopped by later and whisked her off onto the floor, insisting that she spend some time dancing. The band was absolutely incredible, playing many more of the "muggle" songs that she was accustomed to than she would have thought. She twirled around and laughed with Remus easily, and were soon met by James and Lily.

"You look happy," she told James as he whisked her off into a lively, upbeat dance.

"Of course I am," he shouted at her as they tried to keep in time. "Have you seen my wife? She's bloody marvelous!"

They danced and danced, and Beth was so quickly distracted by how happy her life was at that moment that she didn't think about anything else. After several songs passed by, she went to get something to drink, basking in the moment to simply catch her breath.

And that was when the song came on.

As soon as the band announced that they were going to start slowing things down, Beth knew what song they were going to play. Call it intuition or psychic powers, but when _Unforgettable_ started playing, she couldn't say she was surprised. Because of course it would play at a wedding, and of course it would be the first transition song, and of course the bandleader would say to find a partner, and of course the person that would come to her would be—

"Hello."

She nodded at him, still wanting to hate him, desperately wanting to hate him, and not focusing on how amazing that suit fit him. She still had questions, but she couldn't help but look at him with an overwhelming sense of curiosity. She had known so little about him. The person standing there now was someone completely different, and she hated it.

"Hi," she responded.

He cleared his throat and held out his hand to her. "I know things are quite horrid right now between us, but may I dance with you?"

What else could she say but yes?

He led her to a small spot on the floor and pulled her in close. It was almost an exact parallel of that night at Caitlin's wedding, and if she didn't think about it too hard, she could almost pretend like it was.

But it wasn't. They both knew that. Everything was different.

Sirius took a deep breath. "James said you wanted to talk to me."

Beth nodded. "I do."

"I suppose now's as good a time as ever."

Beth glanced towards the band, memories of the first time they'd danced to this sweeping through her mind. "Is that why you picked the song? So that I would talk to you?"

He paused all movement, causing her to focus back on him. "I thought you requested the song so that I would come talk to you," he said.

"No," Beth chuckled nervously.

"Then who requested it?"

The two of them turned in perfect sync towards the newly married couple dancing a small distance away. James' goofy grin met them, and he quickly gave them both a thumbs-up.

"I'm going to kill him."

"Not if I get to him first," she retorted.

Sirius looked back at her, mischief suddenly gleaming in his eyes. "A double effort, then."

"We can sabotage the honeymoon."

"There's the Beth I remember."

The smile that had been decorated on was suddenly wiped clean, and his expression changed into one of solemn understanding immediately after. Swallowing hard, she let him guide them back into their dancing, letting the movement set her at ease.

"Why did you have to?" she asked quietly, not bothering to look into his eyes. "James said that you had to, that he would have done the same thing. Why was that the only option?"

He was silent for a moment and made no effort to move other than to continue swaying slightly. "I didn't want to."

"But you did."

"I didn't know what else to do."

"Why?"

He sighed heavily. "Because you had seen magic and you weren't supposed to. I didn't want you to remember."

At that, she pulled back, forcing her gaze onto his. "Why? What happened?"

He quickly averted his face from hers, staring at off at the wall behind her. "I was careless," he said. "I wasn't thinking and I just reacted the way I normally would, and then you were confused and angry and I didn't want you to remember it so—"

"Wait, what?"

At her interruption, he finally looked back down at her. "You reacted similar to the way you did last night and I didn't want you to have to remember—"

"You didn't want me to remember?" she repeated, stopping their movement altogether. "What for, to make up for the fact that this," she indicated between them, "didn't work?"

"Beth, no—"

"You didn't want me to have some sort of tarnished memory of you, did you?" she asked, dropping her hands from his. "Thought that because you'd goofed up that you could make it all better? Then why didn't you just do that for the rest of our 'relationship'? You could have gotten as many do-overs as you wanted and it wouldn't have ended the way that it did."

"Beth, I didn't _want_ to do it."

"Yeah, somehow, I'm having a hard time believing that."

She quickly walked away, wanting air, wanting peace, wanting home. Wanting away from here. She could hear him following quickly behind her, calling after her, and she picked up the pace slightly, wanting to just leave. It was too much, it was all too much, and it was stupid and pointless, and it hurt. It was a mistake, it was all a mistake, and now she was reaping the rewards.

"Beth," Sirius called again, and she stopped walking, knowing she couldn't pretend to keep ignoring him. "I never meant to hurt you."

She laughed, frustration and anger and hurt seeping through every sound. "That's all you ended up doing." She turned around. "If you didn't mean to, you wouldn't have."

"I have been tormented by that memory ever since it happened," he defended. "Do you honestly think that I wanted to hurt you?"

"No, I think that you were careless and not thinking and just reacting the way you normally would," she spat, throwing his words back into his face. "And I think right now, you're still trying to salvage whatever scraps of good memories you think I still have about you. For the loved of God, Sirius, just tell me what happened. Tell me the truth."

Her breath was heavy. Her cheeks were definitely red, though she couldn't see them. She was angry and hurt, and he was simply staring at her with an intensity that she hadn't seen since the night they'd ended things. It read of the same emotions she was feeling, the same hopelessness and hurt and anger. If it had only been a couple of weeks earlier, she would have done everything in her power to rid his face of it. Now it only angered her more, and she felt it rise into her expression quickly.

"That's the same face you made at me that night," he whispered. "That's why I did it: because I couldn't stand the thought of you looking at me like this every time you saw me."

She rolled her eyes. "What a load of good it did you."

She walked back inside, determined to find Remus and leave. He was calling after her again, but he did not follow, nor did she turn back.

It was time to leave.

* * *

He needed a drink. He needed a drink bad.

He saw himself over at the bar before he felt himself move, and had already ordered by the time he sat down. Everything was messy. Messy and weird and awkward and all his fault. He'd wanted to chase after her, make it just like a fairytale and sweep her off her feet. Then he'd get to have her in his arms again and kiss every inch of her and enthrall her the way he'd wanted to since the moment he'd laid eyes on her.

But who was he kidding? That opportunity was long gone.

He took a long swig of his drink the second it was brought down, nearly downing it in one gulp. The bartender eyed him cautiously before refilling the glass. Sirius didn't even bother to look up, simply grunted his thanks and took another drink. It wasn't helping.

"That didn't look good."

Sirius simply stared ahead instead of responding as Peter sat down next to him. "Did you tell her everything?" Peter asked.

"No."

He saw Peter nod his head out of the corner of his eye. "It's for the best."

 _It's for the best. It's for the best. It's for the—_

"No," Sirius said firmly, turning to look towards where he knew she was standing. "No, I don't think it is." The drink was clouding his judgment, but as he watched Remus usher Beth out of the doorway, he found himself unable to care any more. "I'm going to tell her."

"Padfoot—"

"No," he said, moving to stand up. She wasn't going to leave hating him. "Don't try to stop me," he demanded. This would end the way it was supposed to if it killed him.

"Sirius, it's dangerous."

"Telling her about this whole bloody thing was dangerous," he argued. "This is nothing."

"This is stupid," Peter said, pulling him back. "She's leaving in two days. What do you expect to happen?"

"What do _you_ expect to happen?" he said, reaching his full height again in a pointless attempt to scare his friend into submission. "You honestly think Voldemort's going to show up mid-shag?"

Peter stood his ground though, staring at him directly in his eyes. "So that's what you expect to happen?" he asked, revulsion absolutely filling his voice. "One good shag before she's off, huh? And you think that will make it better? That will help you clear your conscience?"

Sirius shrunk into his seat, guilt hitting him like a punch.

"You're disgusting, mate."

Sirius sighed, rubbing his hands over his face as Peter walked away. "I know," he whispered to himself.

 _I know._

He took another drink.

* * *

It had been Remus' idea to take the tube instead of walking back. His reasoning was that it would be faster, but all Beth could think about was how desperately she wanted him to stay with her. She knew it was unfair of her to want that, especially when the wedding reception was still going on, but it felt nice to have him near. He was so much less chaotic and rambunctious than others, and she felt at ease around him. Selfish, she knew, but after everything, she wanted a bit of selfishness.

 _"_ Did Arthur talk to you much?"

Beth nodded, doing her best to smile. "Yeah, he was nice."

"Isn't he?" Remus asked. "And what did you think of Molly?"

"She's delightful. I really liked her."

"Did she talk about her children the entire time?"

She stared out the window across from her, seeing the city race by just as quickly as her thoughts. She took a deep breath, doing her best not to think about all that Molly had told her about Sirius. "Only a little bit."

"Really? That surprises me. That's usually all she talks about. I'm fairly certain that if they didn't have so many kids, they'd be in the Order too. Her brothers are the ones that introduced us to them."

"Oh yeah, Fabian and Gideon, right?"

Remus nodded. "They sold us on them pretty quick. Then, of course, Sirius and Arthur bonded over their flying automobiles and now they come over for tea close to monthly."

She'd tensed over hearing Sirius' name. She knew Remus could tell, too. He sat there, silent for a moment, before saying, "I saw you talking to him."

"A lot of good that did," she mumbled.

"He really was torn up about that day."

"Yeah, he seemed it," she said dryly.

"Beth, with all due respect, you don't know what he went through afterward," he scolded her softly. "He lamented it for days, weeks. He's still quite upset about it all. Course you can't blame him for that, can you? It's not the poor bloke's fault his brother ended up being a death eater."

Beth sat up quickly at that, every ounce of attention she had now completely directed towards her friend.

"And finding out the way that he did, what with a death eater attacking him and you, who still didn't know that any of this exists?" Confusion overwhelmed her senses. "I'd wipe you clean too."

She focused on the last thing he said first, turning to face him more fully. "We were attacked?"

Remus regarded her and seemed to have the same amount of confusion sweep over him. "I thought he talked to you about it."

"He just said that I'd seen magic and that I wasn't supposed to," she clarified. "Is that really what happened? We were attacked?"

"Yes. He was terrified that someone would find out about you after that. He kept having nightmares about his brother being charged to kill you. Did he not tell you any of this?"

Beth shook her head. "No."

And suddenly, the truth was out.

Remus explained everything that had happened that day, from what had actually occurred to how Sirius had responded, telling her about the countless times he'd woken up in a panic and went to Remus for help and the endless worrying he'd done each and every day that followed. How he'd begged Remus to check up on her so that he didn't seem like he was trying to overwhelm her. How he'd gone to him the day they'd broken up, relieved out of his mind, and how quickly terror began to settle in after he realized that she could still have been in danger. He told her about the death eater, how they still hadn't identified him, and how they'd put in countless of charms surrounding the flat to make sure that no one found out about her.

And it all made sense. All of the wondering and questioning about why things panned out the way they did, what had happened that day, and why Sirius had been so quiet to hide it made sense. It was still manipulative and horrible and awful, and she still hadn't heard the truth from the horse's mouth, but it was there.

"I know he didn't go about it the right way," Remus said as he walked her inside James' flat. "We told him that from the beginning. Him trying to control you the way that he did wasn't the best idea around, even if it was out of a misguided sense of protection. But it was just your protection that he was after, nothing more."

Beth nodded solemnly. "But why didn't he tell me?"

Remus sighed and drew her into a hug, holding her tight against him. "I don't know," he said. "I don't know. He should have."

Beth nodded against his chest.

"But Beth, don't ignore all of the good just because of the bad. It's hard to do, and trust me, I am not perfect at it." He drew her back, placing his hands on her shoulders. "But we have to try, yes? You don't have to like him, but try not to hate him. He's a good man, even if it's impossible to see."

And with that, Remus left her, alone with too much information and too many questions.

So Sirius was from a pureblooded family. His family hated him for being sorted into a different house, and his brother was sorted into the right one. His brother decided to fight against Sirius, and a death eater was sent to tell him that. She saw a fight between the death eater and Sirius, and that was why he erased her memory. Not because he was careless and not thinking, but because he was trying to protect her. That then led into the annoying babysitting she felt she was going through with him.

It made sense. She didn't like it, but it made sense.

But it still wasn't from Sirius.

She sat down on the couch, unable to move as she sorted through the abundance of information she'd learned tonight. Thought after thought, idea after idea was, in the best way she knew how, organized to make the most logical reasoning. She wasn't sure how long she sat there, maybe minutes, maybe hours, but her organizing quickly stopped when she heard three knocks on the door.

She kicked off her heels, only then realizing that they were still on, and opened the door.

 _Of course._

"Hi."

"Hi," he said, looking at her as if he didn't know what to do. He averted his gaze after a moment, handing her her jacket. "You forgot your—"

"Oh yes, thank you," she said, grabbing it quickly. "Forgot about that."

"Yes."

He was standing right there and she knew everything. He hadn't told her anything, but he was here, and everything made sense, and she wanted to talk but she didn't know how to force her mouth to speak.

Luckily for her, he cleared his throat.

"Can I come in for a moment?" he asked.

She nodded, opening the door a little wider for him. He eased his tie from his neck, letting it drape around him floppily. If it had been another time, she would have found it attractive.

Who was she kidding? It was hot, and she hated it.

Did she still hate him?

"I want to tell you something," he began.

She didn't give him a chance to explain anything. "About your brother? Or the fact that we were attacked?" His eyes became wide with shock, and he stood there frozen. She nearly laughed at his befuddlement. " Or are you going to try to make up some good excuse why you didn't tell me about either of those things?"

He was silent for a moment. "Remus told you."

She wanted to be happy he was here, wanted to say that everything was fine, and yet she couldn't. "You certainly didn't."

"Beth, I didn't know how."

"Remus didn't seem to have any issues with it."

"Remus wasn't directly involved in the situation."

"Well that seems to be the best option for finding out things, doesn't it?"

"I was going to tell you."

There it was. There was her issue.

"When?"

"That's why I'm here, that's why I came here."

"So I should be happy that at some point you were going to tell me and just ingore the fact that you were _still_ lying to me about what happened."

"I was protecting you."

"I don't need your protection!" she yelled.

"Yes you do!" he shouted back. "You don't understand, there's a war going on, Beth. Not a fight, not an argument, a war. People are dying every single day. It could very bloody well be me tomorrow. Of course you needed protection. Forgive me for trying to keep you safe, and yes, lying to you to do it, but I wasn't very keen on the idea of seeing you die."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I had a white knight standing in front of me," she spat. People were always trying to shield her, always trying to protect her, and she was _tired_. "I don't know how I possibly made it without you. Please, continue protecting me from the world and the very unlikely possibility that I could die."

He threw his hands up. "You almost did! Does that mean nothing to you?"

"No, it doesn't, and you know why? Because I don't have any memory of it!"

He rolled his eyes. "Use a different argument, Beth. That one's getting old."

God, she hated him so much. Hated his smug face, hated him for trying to make things right, hated his tie for just lazing upon his neck, hated how his eyes were on fire now and how badly she'd missed that look.

"No, I won't," she stated, walking slightly closer to him. "And you know why? Because all I remember is you suffocating me and trying to 'keep me safe' and then lying to me again when you no longer had a reason to hide the truth from me."

His entire countenance steeled over at that, and a shiver went down her spine. "You want the truth, Beth?" he prodded, walking closer to her in what she was sure was an attempt to intimidate her.

It didn't work.

"Fine," he stated. "I showed up to our first date drunk out of my mind because one of my friends died that day trying to protect his family. I left the next day because I was in charge of the mission to find his body. I had Remus lie to you and tell you that I was nervous because I couldn't stomach the idea of having to tell you the real reason why.

"When we were attacked, it was by a person sent, I belive, solely to tell me that my brother had officially joined arms against me. He didn't hurt you, but he would have if he had the opportunity, and my family wouldn't hesitate to finish you off if they had found out about you. So I wiped his memory and then yours, because I was careless and not thinking and reacting the way I normally would, which was to protect you. Then, sure, I got a little paranoid, because I'd watched a person terrify you beyond comprehension and was scared to death that it would happen again. I had nightmares every night of my brother seeking you out and killing you.

"When I left for Edinburgh, I realized that my father and mother were supporting the same cause my brother was fighting for, which meant that not only did I have to worry about my brother killing you, but now I had to worry about my parents encouraging him to do so. Then you kept on disappearing for hours on end, and I didn't know if you were all right, I only knew that for some reason I couldn't see you and just hoped against all odds that you were fine.

"The night that we went dancing, I saw a known death eater enter the building, and I panicked. I took you home, and you were livid, and it was fine because you were home and safe, and I was protecting you. And I was protecting you when I ended things, and I was protecting you by keeping you at a distance, and I was protecting you by not telling you everything tonight. And no, that doesn't change the fact that I lied to you or whatever nonsense you're going to throw back in my face for trying to keep you safe.

"But you want the truth, Beth?" he asked, standing so close to her that she could almost feel the heat coming off of his body. "The truth is I was selfish, because I treasured every second I had with you, and I loved the fact that you didn't know my tragic backstory, that all you knew was that I was a friend of James and that not once did you feel the need to look at me with that pathetic sadness in your eyes. Not once did you feel the need to treat me differently because my family was fighting against me. You were innocent to our world, and it was a relief I didn't know I needed until I met you. So there, Beth. There's the truth. All of it. I hope you're happy, and I hope you look at me differently from now on, and I hope that you know that nothing tormented me more these past few months than the thought of losing you."

Tears were pricking her eyes, and she refused to acknowledge them. They appeared to be glistening in his, too, though she was sure he'd deny it. They stood there, both breathing heavily in an act of defiance and willpower, both refusing to back down. There was something incredibly different about being this close than there had been while they were dancing. Then, they'd had a reason to touch. Now, she was certain that if he even grazed a finger down her arm, she'd be done for.

She took a deep breath in. "All I ever wanted from you was the truth," she whispered.

"And now you have it," he said back just as quietly. "All of it. What are you going to do with it?"

She went to pat his chest, to lightly push him away from her, and she would testify that until the day she died. But instead, she found herself grabbing him by the undid tie around his neck and slamming her lips against his.

She felt his hand move to cup her face, but it quickly dropped. He pulled away, breathing heavily. "Beth, we shouldn't."

"Sirius—"

"We should stop."

"Sirius, for once, stop trying to protect me."

She was angry. She was mad. She was hurt. She was upset.

He was exhausted. He was broken. He was desperate. He was demanding.

She wanted to hate him.

He was tired of her.

And yet.

Sirius responded immediately, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her back with more passion and intensity than she had ever felt in her life. The careful and playful certainty that had encompassed that first kiss at that first wedding was nothing compared to the absolute fire that was overwhelming them now. They were starved, feeding off of each other with an animal-like hunger, desperate to right the wrongs of the past, and Beth felt herself nearly crumble at the moan he made when she pressed him even closer to her. It was intoxicating, it was messy, and it was _everything._

She felt herself being pushed against the door with a thud that must have been inappropriate at such a late hour. He tore his lips away from hers forcefully, forgoing the usual playfulness of small kisses down her neck and instead biting hard at the spot just above her collarbone. Beth grabbed his head, tugging on his hair hard as he continued to attack that spot, leaving a mark that she was sure would last her for months.

She hoped to every form of deity she could think of that it would.

She tugged his head back up to hers and found his lips again, wasting no time in devouring every taste of him that she could get. He was pressing against every curve that she had, grasping and kneading and pulling relentlessly, hands never staying in one spot for long. She brought her head back and sighed loudly when she felt his teeth clench around her ear, squeezing his arms tight when he bit it again, this time harder. It was too much, it was all too much, and yet there wasn't enough.

Pushing him away from her, she shoved his suit jacket off of his shoulders and pulled the tie off. "A bit anxious, are we?" he teased before slanting his mouth back onto hers, the curve of a smile still playing at his lips. Beth didn't even attempt to put up a fight, simply surrendered to his control as she ran her hands over the expanse of his chest, reveling in the moan he made when she ran her hands down to his waist, tugging his shirt out of his trousers. In response, Sirius lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he all but ran towards her small room.

It was bold. It was rash. It was impulsive. There were more reasons to stop than to keep going, and truth be told, it never should have happened. But as Beth heard the door shut behind them, she knew that both of them simply did. Not. Care.

* * *

A/N: This is it. This is _the_ chapter. This is the chapter that started this idea, and I can't believe it's already here. I've been crafting this and recrafting this for over a year. I hope it delivered everything I wanted it to. Please, please, please tell me what you thought of it!

To everyone who has been waiting for my schedule to fit in me being able to write a chapter, I hope this extra long one delivered for you. I know where this story is going. It is nowhere close to over yet. It may take a while, but stick with me! I'm not abandoning you guys.

A special thanks to nimblescrivener for helping me piece together this chapter. A special thanks to all of you for convincing me to keep going.

Up next, Beth says her goodbyes. How do you think it'll go with a certain someone?


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21. 

When Beth first woke up, her immediate first thought was that she had missed her flight. In a panic, she grabbed the small clock by her bed, sighing with relief when she saw that she had not and laying back down contentedly when she remembered that her flight was not scheduled until tomorrow. Settling back under the covers, she took in a deep breath, allowing the comfort of her sheets to envelope her in an overwhelming sense of warmth.

It was only then that she remembered another body was laying next to her.

One second later, she remembered that she was naked.

And approximately 0.3 seconds after that, every single moment of last night came back in a flash.

The wedding.

The dancing.

The talking.

The yelling.

The touching.

The _kissing._

The …

Oh God, she'd initiated it all. James was bound to kill her. Or Sirius.

Or maybe them both.

There wasn't a way he could know about it already, could he? She didn't know that much about magic. Was it possible to have some sort of tracker on either of them? She could almost imagine the scene now: James would wake up, be notified, kiss Lily on her forehead, and say something noble and gallant like, "I'm off to right the wrongs of the past," and then he would come in with Remus and Peter and just _stab them_.

At least then she wouldn't have to live with herself. _Two days before I'm leaving?_ she thought. _Could I have picked a worse time?_

"You know, I can practically hear your mind racing right now."

Beth turned her head. He hadn't even opened his eyes yet. "Can you?"

"It's like the bloody Indy 500."

She crinkled her brow in confusion. "You know about the Indy 500?"

"A bunch of cars drive really fast in circles," he mumbled. "Like the English Derby, but less cultured."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. At least _he_ seemed unphased by all of this.

 _Lucky him._

"Did you sleep okay?" he asked, turning onto his side so that he was fully facing her. His eyes remained closed.

"Yeah, until you started snoring." _And when I realized what I'd done._

"Oh yes, I meant to warn you about that before you drifted off," he murmured, snuggling deeper into the pillow. "Usually a silencing spell does the trick."

"Did you sleep okay?" she reciprocated.

At that, he finally opened his eyes, and his face looked more relaxed than she'd ever seen it be. "Like an absolute baby," he replied. "Best night's sleep I've gotten in a while."

"Is that a 'bravo' to me, then?"

"Bravo, well done, amazing, bloody fantastic, you can choose whatever word you want."

 _Whatever word I want_ , she thought to herself, trying to repress a smile. _That has to be a line._

If it was, it sure worked.

"And y… go… too."

Beth tilted her head towards him. "What?"

"'And you were good too,'" he repeated, turning over so that he was resting on his stomach. "I'm supplying you with the appropriate response."

"Not confident enough in your abilities?"

"More like I have a reputation to uphold and maintain."

Beth rolled her eyes. "So here's a question for you," she began, ignoring his response.

"Hit me."

"Did you have electricity at your school, or was it just a bunch of candles floating ominously?"

Sirius gave a deep, throaty laugh. "Is this what's keeping you up at night?"

"Yes, I am very, very concerned about the electricity."

He moved to sit up, and the blanket pooled around his chiseled waist.

Not that Beth cared.

"Watch this," he said. " _Accio_ wand _."_

Beth gave a small yelp of surprise when the wand immediately appeared in his hand, winning her a small smile.

" _Lumos."_

And suddenly, the room was filled with light from this small object in his hand. Beth looked around the room in wonder, then back to the wand. "Could I try?"

"Yeah, sure," he nodded. "Sit up."

 _Shoot, she wasn't wearing a shirt._ Clutching the blanket around her chest, she asked, "Can I not do it laying down?"

He smiled at her knowingly and suggestively before _accio-_ ing a shirt and underwear for her, doing the same for himself. "So I'm guessing morning sex is officially off the table?" he asked as he slid on a pair of boxers.

"Sirius—"

"I'm joking, I'm joking."

Sirius was a natural teacher, as it turned out. He was patient and encouraging, and Beth thought that if anyone could help her suddenly realize a gift she never had, it would be him. Over and over again, he coached her on the right way to hold the wand, the right way to say the word, and any other trick he could imagine would help.

Unfortunately, it didn't work.

"Don't worry," he said, putting an arm around her waist and drawing her to lay back against him. "It's nothing you're doing wrong. Magic in this capacity isn't something that can be taught, it's something inherited."

She shrugged, trying to ignore how safe and warm she felt with his arm around her. "It was worth a try, right?"

"Right." He squeezed her arm.

"So wand and everything," Beth nodded her head to the object on the bed. "This is real deal magic."

He nodded. "Wand, spells, charms, transforming into animals, it's all quite real."

"Transforming into animals?"

"Indeed."

"Can you do that?"

"Can I do that?" he scoffed. "Of course I can. But I'm not going to."

"Why not?"

"Because no one will believe you when you say I was an _actual_ animal in bed."

She elbowed him in the gut, and he groaned as he laughed.

"You're a bit of a pig, you know that?"

"Ahh, well I guess you can say that you had an animal in bed, then."

She sighed in slight aggravation, earning a small chuckle from him. She felt his chest rumble and move underneath her, and all at once had an overwhleming urge to never leave. To simply stay there, wrapped up in his arms and leaning against his strong chest, wouldn't be the worst idea in the world. The longer she continued laying there, the more she could begin visualizing what it would be like to stay.

It was a dangerous idea to entertain.

"I should probably start packing," she murmured, not bothering to get up.

"Packing?"

She nodded. "I leave tomorrow."

"Oh," he replied, almost taken back. "That's right."

"Break your heart a little bit, does it?"

"I'd forgotten you were leaving," he replied honestly. "I'd forgotten you didn't live here."

 _She had too._

He pressed his lips to the top of her head for a long moment, and began stroking her arm with his hand. "Will you answer me something?"

She held her breath. "What's that?"

"If you weren't leaving, if you were here for the rest of your life, would you go out with me again? Say, Tuesday night?"

She knew it was bound to come up. At least she could rest easily knowing it hadn't been her to ask. "Sirius—"

"If we're lucky, we could end up right back here."

Beth moved to sit up beside him. "Sirius."

"Don't you think that'd sound—"

"No."

He paused. "No?"

She shook her head. "No."

He was silent for a moment again before a smile crossed his lips. "Playing hard to get?"

"No," Beth said, wincing slightly when the smile dropped. "I'm saying no."

A silence passed between them again as he took in her response. "May I ask why?"

She sighed. "I think it was the right decision to end things when we did. I think that finding out I'd been lied to that entire time validated that. And then realizing everything else and realizing I _still_ didn't know everything—"

"Beth," he interrupted, "I explained everything yesterday."

"I know."

"I apologized for everything yesterday."

She nodded her head. "I know."

"And yet you would still hold it over me?"

"Just because you apologized doesn't mean that everything's suddenly okay now, Sirius." He got up out of the bed, beginning to collect the rest of his things. She immediately missed his warmth. "Or that I even understand everything," she continued. "It just means I'm a step closer to figuring this all out."

"So yesterday when _you_ were the one who pounced on me—"

"Sirius, I was sad, I was sorry, I missed you, I'm leaving soon—"

He gave out a short, curt laugh that cut her to the core. "So it was a goodbye."

She winced. "If you want to call it that."

He shook his head. "This doesn't make sense to me, Beth. It doesn't make sense at all. How come I'm the one receiving all of the blame for this? Why isn't it Remus, or Lily, or Merlin, James that you're mad at?"

She fingered the blanket absentmindedly, refusing to look him in the eye. "I don't know, Sirius."

They stayed there like that for a long time, him standing, her sitting, both too fully aware of how messy this situation had turned out to be. She knew he was thinking the same thing she was. _Was it all worth it?_

She didn't know what his answer would be.

She didn't know what _her_ answer would be.

"You cannot continue piling all of the blame on my shoulders," Sirius said in such a calm voice that she found her eyes darting up to his. "It is not my fault I was born into a different world than you. It is not my fault James didn't tell you earlier. And it is not my fault that I wanted to protect you." He took a small step towards her, and Beth saw pain cross his features. "But you know what especially isn't my fault? It is not my fault that you can't accept any of that. Move on, Beth."

"I will, and so will you. Which is why I said no." She stood up and faced him, looking at him directly for the first time all morning. "Even entertaining the idea of this all being swept under the rug and everything getting better is dangerous. I think the best thing to do is to just chalk this up to a one time thing and forget it ever happened. I'm sorry, Sirius. I really am." One more step, and visions of last night's argument plagued her thoughts. "But it's not my fault that you thought it could all be cleared up in one night."

They stood there, sizing each other up, both daring the other to respond with anger, with hate, with lust. But they did not move. Beth knew that in this moment, they were completely clearing the slate. There was no going back to everything being normal, there was no way to pretend that nothing had happened. For as long as she would ever know him, she knew that this moment was going to be present for the rest of their relationship. Everything had changed. This was their new normal.

A moment longer, and then, "Goodbye, Beth."

* * *

"You have everything, right?"

"I'm fine, James," she said, throwing her bag over her shoulder. "Remus came over yesterday, helped me pack. I've got everything."

"You're sure?"

She flashed him a smile. "I'm fine."

"We got everything covered," Remus clapped him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Prongs."

"Well, I'm worried that if she forgets something that we won't be able to get it to her and—"

"James," Lily said, brushing a kiss against his cheek. "Stop."

They were all standing at her gate at the airport, waiting to see her off. Only a ticket and six hours separated her from home, and as much as she had been looking forward to returning only weeks ago, it suddenly felt all too real. She found that she was not quite ready to say goodbye.

Turning to Remus, she wrapped him up in a long hug. "I'm going to miss you."

"Well, not too much, I hope. We're going to be pen pals after all, right?"

Beth laughed. "Of course," she said, stepping back and giving him a bright smile before turning to hug Peter. "Peter, it was great to meet you."

He returned it happily. "Come visit us again soon."

She turned to Lily next. "Promise me you won't kill him too quickly?" she asked, looking towards James.

"Not a chance," she assured, wrapping her up in a friendly hug. "I'm so happy you could come."

Finally, she stood before her friend. Her dear, close, wonderful friend. "James," she said simply.

"Beth."

With a faltering grin, she enveloped him tightly, holding on to him with an unmatched strength, saddened at how quickly this summer passed and how little time she truly spent with him. So she said the only thing that could rectify everything and express how entirely grateful she was for him.

"I love you."

"I hate to tell you this, but I'm a married man." She laughed, and James hugged her tighter to him. "I love you, too. And next time I'll come and visit, okay?"

"You're a dear," she said, kissing his cheek before pulling away.

And all that was left was Sirius.

When he had left yesterday, Beth had sat on the bed for a long, long time. It was true that Remus had come in later in the day and helped her pack, something she was eternally grateful for. He'd guessed immediately what had happened, and instead of lecturing her on bad decisions and threatening to tell James, he'd pulled her out for one last coffee and treated her to Chinese. When they'd gotten back, they'd put on Queen and scream-sang to _A Night at the Opera_ while throwing clothes in bags, and Remus had made her promise to stay in contact with him. Overall, it had been a wonderful end to the day, and surpassed any early morning antics that had occurred.

But then the morning came, and everything came rushing back, and it was two hours before she needed to leave, and everyone was there to have breakfast with her one last time, and Sirius still was not talking with her. And now everyone was at the airport, and all of her bags had been packed and checked, and all of the hugs had been given, and promises were made, and Sirius was still not talking with her.

She'd come to the conclusion that all this had been was a little summer fling. Everyone had suggested it to her when she'd arrived, and even though Sirius had tried to make it seem like a legitimate relationship, asking her to be his girlfriend "for at least two months," all it had been was picnics in trees and dinner with friends and makeout sessions in zoos and fighting and screaming and hurting. It hadn't all been great. Flings usually consituted fun and happiness, didn't they? Certainly not heartbreak. It was supposed to be casual and fun and breezy, and it had ended anything but.

And yet it hadn't _all_ been bad. Hiding in there somewhere, there was good. She might have to search for it, might have to peek and glance into every corner, but there was good. There were smiles, and there was laughter, and somewhere in there was happiness too, and maybe Sirius had rubbed off on her, but she needed to fix it. She wasn't about to lose her friends, both old and new, on account of some botched fling. She needed to fix it.

She wanted to fix it.

"Sirius."

He met her eyes.

"It wasn't a date."

A moment of confusion. A look of understanding. And finally, a flash of peace.

"Keep telling yourself that, darling."

And when she hugged him, she felt him hug her back.

"I'll see you all soon," she promised, grabbing her bag and walking toward the gate.

"Not soon enough," he called out.

Beth met his gaze, shocked by the genuineness of his words.

He maintained it, a soft smile crossing his face.

It was going to be okay. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even the next time she saw him, whenever that'd be, but one day, eventually, it was going to be okay.

And that was enough for her.

* * *

 **Summer 1996**

"And then she left."

There was a brief moment of stunned silence before Hermione blurted out, "Is that it?"

Remus reached for his tea, casting a warming spell on the liquid. "Well, it's all of that summer, yes."

"But didn't you say they almost got married?" Harry asked.

"Well, they did almost get married."

"And we're supposed to just assume that through this one summer?"

"Oh, come on, Hermione," Fred teased her. "Where's your romantic spirit?

"Could one summer not make you consider the idea of marriage?" George questioned.

Hermione sighed heavily at the twins. Truth be told, Remus could not remember when they decided to listen to the story too, only that they were now here and were just as intrigued and invested in the story as everyone else. He was almost surprised Arthur hadn't plopped down to listen yet.

"I'm not saying that," Hermione defended. "I'm saying Remus never even mentioned that it was an idea." Shooting him a quick glance, she gave him an apologetic look. "No offense, sir."

Remus waved it off and said, "Well it wasn't an idea, not then."

"So there's more?" Ron asked.

"There'd have to be, right?" Harry continued.

"Yes," Remus said. "There's a bit more to it. "

"You know, if you're going to tell him about her," Molly said from the other side of the room, "then you're going to have to tell him about all the work she did for the Order too."

The five of them froze in their places at her words for a brief moment before errupting into madness, throwing question after question his way. From afar, Molly leaned against the wall, smiling at his attempts to quiet the bunch down.

"Thank you, Molly," he called out, uncaring of how evident the sarcasm in his voice was. "Hadn't considered that yet."

"She was in the Order?" Hermione questioned. "As a muggle?"

Remus smiled. "Did you think Sirius would marry just anybody?"

"Yes, but _our_ Order?" Ron clarified.

"Well, the one at the time, yes."

"As a _muggle_?"

"Are you insinuating that because she's a muggle she wouldn't be capable of it?" Fred challenged.

"I was not insinuating anything!" Ron turned to his friend, clearly attempting to explain. "Hermione—"

Hermione quickly cut him off. "They're teasing you, Ronald."

"She met the majority of you," Molly offered, starting to move further into the room. "It's possible Bill and Charlie remember her. She met you too, Harry."

Remus nodded. "She wasn't there for your birth, but she moved back shortly after—"

"She moved back here?" Harry asked.

Remus nodded again. "Moved back, went on several missions with us, met the Minister of Magic."

"She what?" Hermione gasped.

"Did you hear about that one, Molly?"

"She met the Minister?"

Remus smiled at Harry, beaming at how much more well-off he appeared to be. In his mind, he could hear Sirius and James reminiscing on details of that day, that winter, that following year.

 _Merlin, he missed them._

"Like I said, did you think Sirius would marry just anybody?"

* * *

A/N: We're back, baby!

I went through the ENTIRE story a couple of weeks ago, added some tweaks and clean-ups, and we are currently looking at FIFTY chapters, including the epilogue. FIFTY. That's a lot of story still left to go! So thank you, thank you, _thank you_ for sticking with me.

Nimblescrivener, a pleasure to work with you, as always. Thank you for all of your advice and input. This story would not be possible without you.

I'd like to try something new: What's a good fic that you've read recently, be it Harry Potter or something else? I went on a very short but _very_ intense Parks and Rec kick recently and read the story "Snapshots Left on the Negative" by Panache. I was crying on my bus route! Let me (and everyone else) know in the reviews!


	22. Chapter 22

**September 1979**

The jet lag had lasted for four days. For four days, Beth walked around like a zombie, drinking coffee like it was part of her religion and taking naps like it was her job. For four days, Beth reacquainted herself with people driving on the right side of the road and talking with her own accent. For four days, Beth hugged her family, met up with her friends, and adjusted back to life in the United States.

Now, four weeks later, her summer spent abroad was becoming more of a memory than a reality.

Everyone had wanted to know how the summer went when she'd returned. She'd obliged happily, telling them all about how her internship had progressed, raving about the connections she'd made in her field. She'd told them about James and Lily's wedding, going into detail about the decorations, the dress, and the colors. She'd talked about all of the touristy sights she saw, all of the tea she drank, and all of the fish and chips she'd eaten. When pressed, she'd even found herself talking about Sirius, telling everyone that it had not been anything serious, that they had had fun, and that they were keeping in touch through James and Remus' letters.

Essentially, she gave them all of the information she knew they'd want and held tightly to all of the information they could never know.

That had been one of the longest conversations she and Remus had had while they were packing: what she could and could not say. Remus had explained that, while magic _did_ exist in the United States, it was just as secretive there, and any knowledge of her knowing anything about it could result in her memories being erased again. She'd argued against it, but ultimately agreed, and suddenly she was part of the very conspiracy that had torn her relationship with Sirius nearly apart.

How hypocritical.

But soon, people stopped asking her questions about her trip and started asking about her classes. They stopped asking about her summer romance and started asking if she'd go on a blind date with a friend. They stopped asking about her internship and started asking where she was thinking about applying after graduation. Slowly but surely, life began to move on.

Her advisor had praised her repeatedly for her glowing recommendation letter from her internship, telling her that she was almost guaranteed a job anywhere she wanted. She'd told him about their offer to have her back permanently, and a huge smile had crossed his face as he asked what she'd responded. Pushing aside the memories of what _else_ had happened that day she'd found out, she'd told him she had considered it, but that it was more than likely not in the cards for her to return.

"Keep your options open," he'd told her.

"We'll see," she'd said.

Every couple of days, she'd find a new letter waiting for her postmarked all the way from England. James' letters spoke of situating himself finely into married life, which only intensified how strongly he spoke of loving Lily. " _I don't think I comprehended what the idea of marriage meant when I agreed to it,"_ he'd told her in his last letter. " _I don't think I realized that this would be the rest of my life, living with one person, fighting over what to order in, and learning how to arrange throw pillows in the right way. I did not realize the amount of work that must be put forth to make it work, to create a forever. And now, I find myself incapable to imagine what life would be like without it. I do not think I could be happier if I tried."_

Remus' last letter, in contrast, said this: " _Peter apparently hooked up with a girl at James' wedding and didn't tell any of us, which is absolute bollocks considering he hasn't had a shag in two years, and now we are all questioning our friendships with one another. This also means that, in one night, James, Sirius, and Peter got laid while I spent it helping the staff tear down decorations. I have renounced my friends out of jealousy and spite, so please consider this a formal notice that I am moving away from them forever and will attempt to find love on the island of Fiji."_

As more time passed, she found that they would mention catastrophic events more and more often. Nothing ever too intense or passionate, but talks of freak explosions and train crashes and floods became a reoccurring topic. Often, one or both of them would start an entirely new letter, and it was becoming very common to receive a new letter every couple of days. One would be an uproarious tale about their recent run-in with a beekeeper, and the next would be about lightning striking a power line and causing a fire. They both asked her about any crazy events happening where she lived, and she gave them whatever examples she could find.

" _I feel like an investigative journalist,"_ she'd written to James once. " _I've read more newspapers and watched more news than I thought was possible, just to keep up with you!"_

Occasionally, one or both of them would mention Sirius in a story, updating her on small moments in his life. At one point, she'd sat down and tried to write a letter to him, but after writing, " _Dear Sirius, I hope you are well,"_ she found that she could think of nothing else to say. With James and Remus, it had been easier to write about the cute guy that sits next to her in her class. With Sirius, she felt that even in their attempts to stay friendly and civil with each other, it would be too weird.

She also didn't want to open up the possibility of having to hear about the gratuitous amounts of sex he was having in response.

And so the balance of life began, and within these four weeks, the number of classes she was taking, the letters she was writing, and the plans she was making finally began to settle into a rhythm that she could depend on.

Which is why when she walked out of her class one day and saw Sirius Black outside the door, she nearly peed her pants.

He was standing there, smiling softly, hands stuffed in his leather jacket, leaning against a tree with a foot propped against it, looking almost exactly like he did the first time she met him. She froze in her place with a jolt, earning her a couple of choice words from the people who skidded to a stop behind her.

She didn't hear them, but simply stood there, mouth gaping, heart thudding, and nerves racing as he made his way over to her.

"What are you doing here?!" she practically screamed as he came closer.

"Hello to you, too," he replied, moving in to hug her. She awkwardly wrapped one arm around him, struggling with what to do with her books in her other hand. She was certain her face looked just as awkward as that felt.

"Is someone hurt?"

He chuckled. "No, no one is hurt."

"Then why are you here?" she asked, shifting her books to her other side.

He took in a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair. "Well, in all honesty, I came to tell you something, but you don't seem quite happy to see me."

She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. "I'm just surprised," she covered quickly. "I didn't expect to see you so soon. You know, when I said, 'I'll see you soon' and you said, 'oh, not soon enough' I didn't think that'd mean—"

And now she was rambling. _Great job, Beth._

"Yes, I'd rather depended on that," he laughed.

"I'm sorry," she said, looking down at his chest, which, of course, was the exact moment she remembered she'd traced the lines of his abs with her tongue. Her eyes snapped back up to his. "What did—what—um—what did you want to tell me?"

"Yes," he said, a sullen and serious expression coming over his face. "Beth."

 _Oh, God._

"Beautiful, wonderful, lovely, amazing Beth."

Her heart knotted at his words. Out of fear, disgust, intrigue, or hope, she did not know.

He reached out to her face, tracing his fingers over the shape of her cheek, and another image of him stroking somewhere _entirely_ different came to mind.

 _What was he doing?!_

"Precious Beth."

 _Oh God, what was he doing._

"I'm in love with you."

Her heart plummeted.

"Oh, you wanker," a voice behind her said. Beth whipped her head around to the person coming through the building. "That's not what we agreed on you saying!"

"James?!"

A big, toothy grin erupted onto her best friend's face, and he scooped her up and spun her around. "Surprise!"

"Oh, my God!" she screamed, hugging him back in full force. "What is happening?! Why are you doing here?"

"Well, I'm not here to listen to this prat try to shock you to death," he said as he put her back down.

Sirius was laughing. "Forgive me," he said, reaching out to hug her again. "The opportunity was there, and the look of absolute terror that crossed your face was priceless."

Skeptically, Beth wrapped an arm around him in response. "I beg to differ," she argued, uncaring of whether the look on her face was nasty or not. "I think there are about 20,000 different things you could have said that would have garnered a similar reaction."

"He told me he was going to tell you that Remus had finally found a girlfriend," James said.

"But then we figured that'd be too far-fetched."

"Oh, shut up," another voice called out.

Remus emerged, and Lily and Peter were coming in tow behind him.

Out of pure excitement and bewilderment, all of her books fell to the floor, and so loud was her yell of surprise that the people eating across the street looked up from their meals in disgust.

* * *

"So Peter," Beth said, situating herself on her couch back at her apartment. "I hear you have a girlfriend now."

He threw up his hands. "You told her?"

"You didn't tell us," Remus retorted. "Of course I told her."

"No, no, no, I shouldn't have had to tell you. If all of you weren't busy doing something else, you would have noticed."

"I was getting married, you idiot," Lily yelled.

"Alright, you two, fine," Peter said, motioning to her and James, "but the rest of you were so worried about Beth here that—"

Beth's jaw dropped. "Is it my fault?" she asked, a short laugh escaping her. "Are you blaming this on me?"

"I'm simply saying—"

"I can't believe—"

"I'm simply saying," Peter talked over her, "that if you weren't there, everyone would have known."

"That is so not fair!" Beth said.

"And now you are all in the dark about it, and will not know anything else."

"Oh, Wormtail, come on," James said. "Give us a small hint. What does her name start with?"

Sirius shifted forward. "Hold on, are we 100% certain it wasn't a bloke?"

"Of course it wasn't a bloke," Peter argued.

"Wormtail," Remus said. "You know there's nothing wrong with that." He gestured with his arms. "This is a safe space."

"I know there's nothing wrong with that, but what happened between Chastity and me—"

His hand flew up to his mouth as soon as the words came out as everyone else howled with success.

"You screwed a girl named _Chastity?"_ Lily screamed.

"That in itself is almost better than my _entire_ sixth year," Sirius said.

"I did not _screw_ her."

"Did you _make love_ to her?" Remus teased.

"Hey, at least I had someone to 'make love' to," he shot back.

Remus rolled his eyes as everyone laughed. "I resent that."

"Are you still seeing her?" Beth asked, taking a sip of water.

"Of course he is," Sirius interjected. "He's too desperate to let a one night stand get away."

"For your information," Peter said, "I never called her."

Lily's jaw dropped. "You never called her?"

"This was four weeks ago!" Peter exclaimed. "Do you really think that if I was still seeing her, you wouldn't have met her by now?"

"So let me just get this straight," Lily said, sitting up higher in her seat. "You legitimately came to my wedding, had a one night stand with someone, and it's not phasing you at all that you neither called her nor told us anything about her?"

"Sirius sees a new girl every week and we know just about as much about them!" he shouted back. "Why am I the one being questioned?"

Beth tensed, fidgeting in her seat a little as the group continued to playfully argue with each other. She wasn't mad. She _wasn't_ mad. What was there to be mad about? She'd gone on dates. She'd gone on a lot of dates. Well, okay, two dates, but that was still something, right? One of them had been a med student, too. That had to count for something. And that one had actually planned another date with her Thursday night, so not only had she gone on two dates, but she was about to go on a third. Sirius was probably just off having little flings—

—like he'd had with her.

 _"A new girl every week."_

She thought back to the bridesmaid with the black bob at Caitlin's wedding. He'd probably found her again, finished what he'd started. That would make sense. Or no, some tall and leggy blonde who did yoga every day and was super flexible and ate ice cream without gaining weight. That would make more sense.

But what did she care? She was going out with… Tyler? Connor? Whatever his name was, he was a med student. That's what mattered.

"So Beth," James said, drawing her out of her thoughts abruptly. "There _is_ a reason why we're here."

"So Sirius could profess his love for me, right?" Beth quipped too quickly. _Way to go, Beth,_ she thought to herself. _Bring attention back to the idea of you two being together._

"Believe it or not, no, it was not so that Sirius could prove he's a dickhead," James continued, throwing a pillow at his friend to further prove his point. "We have a favor to ask of you."

"Oh?"

"We wanted to know if you'd be alright with seeing us every week or so," Remus said.

Beth laughed nervously as everyone stared at her expectantly. "What?"

"Remember the war we told you about?" James asked. "How we said we were all fighting in it? We're part of this group called The Order, and essentially what we do is monitor absolutely everything that seems suspicious. We go on missions and check for the safety of towns or eavesdrop on conversations or basically just whatever needs to be done. We have contacts in surrounding countries that provide us with any knowledge we may need regarding events that have happened."

"Remember the tornado that went through while you were staying with us?" Lily asked. "That was a planned attack, not a tornado."

"Right," James continued. "We train these contacts to be on the lookout for any specific wording given in the reports of what happened, and to detect whether malevolence was involved or not."

"It's a very crucial part to the way we run things," Remus said.

"Exactly. It helps us deduce where safe options for relocation are or where we need to send more spies, and it helps give us an insight into who the attack was against. Recently," he shifted in his seat uncomfortably, "the targets have been more Muggle-based, and we're trying to put an end to that."

"So what we want to know," Lily said, "is whether or not you'd like to be our contact for the United States."

"You wouldn't have to do anything you didn't feel comfortable with," Remus assured. "And we wouldn't ask for very much. Just stay on top of domestic events, watch the news, read newspapers, stay interested in the world, which, for a person studying global economics, will not seem suspicious in the slightest. That's why Prongs and I," he nodded to his friend, "have been asking you about what you've heard recently. We wanted to get a sense of how involved with current events you were."

"And frankly, you have more contacts than the UN, what with all of the different places that you've lived," James said. "Plus, your internship and whatever previous work you've done opens up all kinds of resources that we wouldn't have ever thought of."

"Also, we miss you," Peter added.

"We do," James nodded his head. "And this way, we could see you all the time. You could be like a little safe haven for us."

"So what do you say?" Remus asked.

Beth sorted through the gratuitous amount of information she had just been given, trying desperately to find out where they all should go. Question after question popped into her head, trying to make sense of all that had happened in the last hour. She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that Sirius had a new girl every week, for crying out loud.

"I have some questions," she admitted.

"By all means, yes, of course," James said. "What do you have?"

"Okay," she said, leaning up farther in her seat. "So you said you're called the Order?" They all nodded their heads. "So it's like Star Wars?

Instinctively, she looked towards Sirius, who was fighting hard against a grin coming to his face.

"No," James said, shaking his head. "No, it's not like Star Wars."

"There's an Order in Star Wars."

"Yeah, but they're the bad guys."

Sirius dropped his head into his hands and was laughing to himself.

"Well, you're the bad guys to the other guys, right?"

"Sweet Merlin, are we kind of like Star Wars?" Peter asked, astonished.

"We're not like Star Wars," James snapped.

"I'm just saying, there's an Order in both, they have lightsabers and the Force, you have wands and magic—"

"I think we're a little bit like Star Wars," Sirius admitted, still laughing.

"Okay, first off, no we're not," James said. "Secondly, do you have actual questions?"

"Yes, I do," Beth said. "Did you get the idea for the name from the movie Star Wars?"

"I can't do this right now." James stood up and headed for the kitchen. "Lily, you're up."

"Get me a water," Lily pleaded before turning to face Beth fully. "So yes, a tiny bit like Star Wars, but we had the name first."

"Alright, next question," Beth started, trying to grow more comfortable with this idea. "You'd be here every week?"

"Ideally, yes," Lily said. "But never on the same day."

"We took a device called a Portkey to get here," Remus explained. "It transports you to one secure location. They're ordered through the Ministry, though, and we cannot trust that it is completely Death Eater free, so we'd have to travel on seemingly random days, and almost never all at once."

"We thought what we could do is ask you each time we visit what day in the next calendar week would work best for you, and we'd plan it around your schedule," Sirius contributed. "Then we'd take turns coming to visit so that members of our Order won't be suspicious of one person leaving constantly."

"Though people honestly probably wouldn't even notice," Peter commented. "Too many other things going on in their own lives."

"Are you suspicious of the people you work with?" she asked.

Silence grew around them, and Beth felt the tension in the room start to rise. "We can never be too careful," Remus stated grimly.

No one else contributed.

Sensing the need to change the topic, she continued, "So it would just be you visiting, or would other members—"

"It'd be anyone you'd want to see," Sirius interrupted.

Beth nodded slowly. "Okay," she said. "And how long would you be staying?"

"However long you'd let us," Remus said. "Never more than, at the very most, ten hours?"

"Probably not even that," James said as he came back into the room, handing Lily her cup of water. "Just a quick check-in followed by three hours of gossip and catching up."

"Certainly much more effective than letter writing," Remus said.

"You don't have to say yes," Lily stated as she took a long drink.

"But it would be entirely selfish of you if you didn't."

Beth rolled her eyes and looked at Sirius, who was staring back at her with a smirk crossed over his face. It almost felt as if he was double-dog daring her to say no. Straightening in her seat, she raised her eyebrows. "I'm in."

James' face broke out in an infectious grin. "Really?"

"Well, I wouldn't want to be accused of being selfish, now would I?"

Sirius' smirk fell. She tried not to gloat in it.

The next ten minutes were full of teaching her the wording to be on the lookout for and trying to figure out how she could get access to the magical newspaper in the United States. Beth tried to keep up with it all, even going so far as to take out a notebook and write down some notes, but even with them detailing everything, she found it difficult to keep up. Remus caught her eye at one point and asked her if she was okay, promising that he would write down detailed instructions of what and what not to do. The effort to help her was appreciated, but still, she felt overwhelmed. Her semester had only just begun, and she had only one semester after this before she needed to be on the lookout for a job. She really hoped this didn't turn out to be more time-investing than it sounded like it would be.

When a lull finally was reached, Beth offered to order food, much to the happiness of the group. Walking to the kitchen, she listened for the group to carry on in their conversation before she leaned against the wall separating them.

This was a lot. _A lot_ a lot. Potentially-saving-her-country-from-dark-forces-that-no-one-knew-existed a lot. And now it was almost entirely on her shoulders? She took in a deep breath and let it out, hating how shaky it sounded. They'd said it wouldn't be anything, right? "A quick check-in," James had called it. _That's all it is_ , she told herself. A quick check in, then time spent with people she really didn't think she'd get to see again.

She looked at her kitchen, staring at a small patch of dust on one of her cookbooks. She'd have to clean her apartment more often now.

"Hey."

Beth's eyes flew towards the voice, surprised to see that it belonged to Sirius. "Hey," she said, walking to the drawer full of takeout menus, trying to act busy.

"You sure you're all right with all of this?"

"Of course," she said without making eye contact with him.

"Beth." She let out a small sigh and looked at him. His face was surprisingly genuine. "You can say no."

"But I said yes."

He nodded. "Yeah, you did."

Nodding once with him, she went back to looking for a menu.

"Listen," Sirius said, leaning against her refrigerator. "I wanted to apologize."

"For what?"

"For surprising you the way that we did."

"Oh, you mean when you said you were in love with me?" she asked icily.

He faltered. "I thought at the time it would be funny."

"It was hilarious." Her voice contained no expression at all.

"And for what Peter said." He shuffled his feet and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "The whole 'new girl every week' thing. It's not been… _every_ week."

"I don't care," she shrugged, finally pulling a menu out. She glanced down at the options she knew by heart and walked to the phone. "We're not together anymore. You can see whoever you want."

He was quiet for a moment, and Beth finally looked up at him to see what he was doing. His eyes, however, were down too, and her heart began to beat a little heavier at the sight of seeing him so… defeated.

"I just wanted to—anyway, you're right." He turned to leave.

"Sirius." He turned around slowly, and she took a small step closer to him in response. "I'm sorry, this is just—"

"Weird?"

"It's weird," she nodded in agreement. "And I know, we need to just get that first awkward talk out of the way."

"Well, the last time I said that everything kind of fell apart."

"Yeah," she said, fumbling with the menu in her hands. She turned around back towards the phone.

"It's not imperative that I be here, or that I visit you at all," he said, taking another step forward. "If you'd rather I didn't, I won't be offended."

She shook her head. "I'm not going to tell you that you can't come. That'd almost be weirder."

"Good," He offered a small smile. "Now I can play the ex-boyfriend card and scare off any potential suitors," he teased.

"Well, you're a little late for that," she mumbled as she picked up the phone.

"What was that?"

She sighed slightly, turning back to face him. "I'm going on a third date on Thursday."

Okay, so it was a slight lie, but the implication for what was to come was higher for a third date than a second.

Also, she liked the way he slightly squirmed, no doubt suffering her torment of remembering what _she_ looked like that night.

"Are you?"

"Yeah," she said. "You're not the only one capable of moving on." Quickly, she threw in a small smile, trying to alleviate some of the tension. It must have helped because when he did respond, it was a smile back to her.

"Well, I hope he knows just what he's in for."

Beth's eyes shifted. "What do you mean?"

"You're saying that it's the third date, which means it must be the second."

Her eyebrows furrowed. _How did he figure that out?_ "How so?"

"Because the first date with you doesn't count."

Beth threw her head back and laughed. "It wasn't a date!"

"Beth, we ended the night kissing."

"That doesn't mean anything!"

"Yeah, if you're Peter, it doesn't."

This time Sirius laughed along with her. "I'm going to fight you on this for forever."

"Put up your Dukes then, Black," she taunted. "I've got until then."

"Oh, do you?"

"Oh, I do."

Sirius smiled, nodding once at her. He was silent for a moment longer, then shuffled his feet. "Beth," he said, "I know it's terribly cliche and awful to say this, but I think we could still be friends, especially if we're going to be seeing each other more frequently now. I think we need to decide to put the effort into trying, because, no offense, I am not going to lose my closest friends to you." A loud laugh came from the other room, and he turned his head toward the noise. "If you take them away from me, I'll never forgive you."

She saw the depth of absolution in his eyes and knew immediately that it was non-negotiable. She shook her head. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Good, because I make very bad, very impulsive decisions when I get upset."

"That's not a good thing."

"No, you're right, it's horrible," he agreed. "I do things like showing up to a date with a girl sloshed out of my mind."

She thought back to that night, how embarrassed and awful she'd felt, and how much her heart had reached out to him when he'd explained himself. "You told me about all of that, though. You don't need to beat yourself up over it. I get it. It's understandable."

"Understandable, but not acceptable," he said. "You of all people deserved better."

She felt color rise into her cheeks, but she didn't try to turn her head away. He looked grateful for it. "Well," she said, "it's a good thing that we're just friends, then."

"Friends that have had sex, though."

She buried her face into her hands. "We're not going to be friends for very long if you keep mentioning that."

"I won't," he laughed at her embarrassment. "In a way, it works better though, because now we have that weird, 'I kind of want to shag you' energy out of the way."

She groaned in confusion. "What are you even talking about?"

"Do you not get that? I thought that was universal."

"No, I think you're just that obsessed with sex."

He nodded pointedly. "I _do_ like sex. Did I ever tell you about Clarissa Tho—"

"Sirius."

"You're right, you're right," he said. "Friends, but not _that_ close of friends."

"Yeah, please don't ever—"

"As long as _you_ don't ever—"

"Right, right."

Sirius smiled, reaching a hand out to high-five her. "I think we're going to be great friends."

Beth smiled back, returning the gesture, and when she responded, she was surprised by how genuinely she meant it. "I think so too."

* * *

A/N: Back already! Thank you to all of the reviews that recently came in! Your support pushed me to write quicker, and look what happened! We got a new chapter very, very quickly!

Nimblescrivener, you are beloved for all of your help. Thank you for the insight on this chapter.

Keep. Those. Reviews. Coming. I have summer classes that started yesterday, so I'm going to need all of the motivation to write I can get!


	23. Chapter 23

**November 1979.**

There are things in life that are non-negotiable needs: water, food, shelter. Whether we learn about them in school or from personal experience, these facts of life remain indelible. There are other factors that appear to be necessary for life, but in fact are simply desires: new clothing, nice bedsheets, solid pairs of shoes. And while those desires may seem customary and essential to maintaining a life worth living, the fact of the matter is one can do without. It may not be comfortable, it may not be exciting, but at the end of the day, those desires fade off when you sleep. Water, food, shelter. These are the things that may not be ignored.

But as Sirius Black looked toward the sleeping figure beside him, he realized that there was one thing that constantly skirted the line between a desire and need for him: companionship. Relationship.

Contact.

He lifted a cigarette to his mouth and took in a long drag. To be fair to himself, he hadn't been the one to initiate this tonight. Marlene had been the one to seek him out, to strike up a conversation, to offer to buy him a drink, and to eventually suggest they pick up where they'd left off. It'd been nearly ten months since their last late night tryst, right before she'd begun dating Dorcas Meadows' cousin. When she'd looked at him with pleading eyes earlier tonight after describing the nasty breakup she'd just endured though, he'd been powerless to say anything but yes.

They had talked once about entering a legitimate relationship, sweaty and out of breath and entirely too drunk to be having such a discussion. They talked of safaris and road trips and endless sex for several minutes before reality began to sink in on them. It wouldn't have ever worked between them. The only thing the two had in common was their attraction to one another, and that alone wasn't going to save any hope of a relationship between them. So they agreed to stolen moments like this when desperation was high and the need to simply be with someone overwhelming. They'd been meeting up since their fifth year, and, outside of the Marauders, was the most dependable friendship he had.

And it wasn't enough.

He took in one last drag, then smashed the cigarette into the ashtray and leaned back into his pillow with a sigh. He supposed this would be the last time he'd get to have a moment like this for a while. Marlene, bless her soul, had offered to take the mission he'd received before all of this had happened, but he didn't have the strength to accept it. He'd simply waved it off, insisting that he would be fine. He knew she'd heard the strain in his voice, but she'd said nothing more about it, instead moving in closer and placing a hand on his thigh.

He couldn't describe why it wasn't enough. Lately, hardly anything had been enough. He'd thought for a while that it was all because of Beth, but even then, it hadn't been enough. She'd flirted and kissed and smiled her way into his life, and he'd been very, very fond of her, to be sure. But even after _finally_ sneaking his way into her bed, he'd felt slightly empty. The night with her had been wonderful, sure, and he'd replayed moment after moment in his mind; but that desire, that _need_ for companionship and relationship and contact had not been fulfilled by her either. Meaninglessness shouldn't logically follow pleasure. So why was that all he felt?

Marlene stirred beside him, and he reached out to brush his fingers down her back. This was contact. This was a relationship of sorts. There was certainly an element of companionship. Perhaps he was simply reading into things too deeply. Perhaps everything he wanted was laying right there.

Or perhaps his need wasn't for those things. Perhaps it was for something else, something stronger.

Love?

Doubtful.

But possible.

He'd fallen in love once. Emory Brown. He hadn't meant for it to happen, hadn't even realized it was on its way until he opened his eyes one morning and realized he was miserable. It was unrequited, that much he knew for certain, and he'd worked hard to worm the girl out of his heart before anyone else found out. It was a pain he had not been prepared for, falling out of love with her, and it was why he'd began relentlessly pursuing others, desperately trying to fill that void.

Now it was catching up to him.

Love had never crossed his mind with any of the girls he'd been with since Emory. Peter had insisted he'd been in love with Beth, but he'd simply loved having her around. Seeing her as often as they all had been helped confirm that. Lately, he'd found himself counting down the days until they'd get to see her again. He'd gone out of his way to try to be there as often as possible, mainly to have an excuse to escape from everything for a couple of hours. The last time he'd visited, for example, had been with James. She'd taken them to the movies, having found a theater that was still playing _Alien_ , and for two hours had been able to forget about everything except Ripley standing in her underwear. It had been a welcome distraction, what he'd needed for the time being, and she'd guessed it before he had.

Maybe she'd be able to help him figure out what he needed again.

Marlene shifted once more, this time turning to face toward him. Her eyes fluttered open when he ran a hand down her arm, rubbing it gently.

"You're still up?" she mumbled.

Sirius nodded his head once. "Couldn't sleep."

"Want some help?"

He smiled. "You're still asleep."

"Mm," she mumbled in agreement. "Maybe you should wake me up."

He brought his hand back up her arm, moving to cradle her cheek. In return, she moved closer to him until her chest was only centimeters away from his.

This certainly wasn't what he needed. It wasn't what he necessarily wanted, either. _But it would do, for now,_ he thought, and moved to press his lips against hers.

* * *

Several hours later, Sirius knocked on a familiar door, peering his head in to see the woman he'd been searching for sitting on a couch, reading a book. Smiling, he opened the door wider. "Hello, mum."

Euphemia Potter looked up at him and smiled widely. "Hello, darling," she said as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. "You smell of sex."

"What a relief," Sirius replied as he sat down next to her. "I was wondering what had been going on all that time."

She rolled her eyes, setting her book on the table next to them. "Who was it this time? That Elizabeth girl?"

"No, that was weeks ago. Marlene dropped by."

"Marlene McKinnon? Again? I thought she was with—"

"She _was_ with. They had a bit of a falling out."

"And now you're dating her?"

"I wouldn't necessarily say _dating_ ," he said, drawing out the last word.

"Oh, Sirius." She shook her head and grasped his hand tight. "I do wish you would find someone and just stick with them. I'm having a hard time remembering all of these names."

"What, and be like James?" he teased. "One person for the rest of my life? I've never loved someone that deeply."

"You've never given it the chance to find out if you did."

"That's because the only woman's love I've ever been interested in is yours," he said, pressing a kiss to her hand.

She rolled her eyes but kept the grip on his hand tight. He felt his heart clench in response as he took in her weary form. Her face was thinner since the last time he saw her, and her hands were becoming frail and bony. He could only imagine how Fleamont was doing. The doctors had discovered the disease in him first before realizing that Euphemia was suffering the same fate several weeks later. It had been a trying few days since the news had been broken, and for a long while, there were only tears shared between everyone. As the days transformed into weeks and the realization that time was running short began to settle, everyone had spent a little more time visiting and hugging the Potter's, always coming in expecting the worst. He'd come in today expecting the worst. The light that he saw in her eyes, though, bright and sparkling and full of life, anchored him back to reality. She was still there, still breathing, still alive. He stared down at their joined hands. She was still there.

She just wasn't _all_ there.

"You're staring."

Her voice brought his eyes up to her, and he bit his tongue hard to keep his face stoic. "I'm sorry." He took in a shaky breath. "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged. "I've been better. My dear husband, he's the one I'm worried about."

"I'm sure he's just as worried about you."

"Maybe he is," she nodded. "We try not to talk about it much."

He looked down. "Ignoring it won't make it go away."

"We know that," she said, patting his hand. "But death happens every day. We're just lucky to be going through it together." His throat clenched. "Makes it easier for us that way."

"Easier for you," he repeated quietly. "What about everyone else?"

She laughed. "You poor thing. I'm sorry. How are you doing?"

He tried to match her laugh, tried to be joyful and happy around her. But as he looked at her weary face, he found the only thing he could feel was hurt.

"You're the only mother I've ever known." He cleared his throat. "What am I going to do when you're…"

He brought his head down, unable to finish the sentence. Tears were welling up in his eyes. Furiously, he wiped them away with his free hand, trying to calm his rapidly increasing breathing.

"Darling," his mother whispered, reaching her free hand up to stroke his cheek. "If you're going to be that torn up about it, I'll promise to haunt you."

A smile escaped despite his best efforts. She leaned in, pressing her forehead against his. "I'm never going to leave you," she said. "You know that, right? No matter how hard you might try to get rid of me, I'll always be right here." She placed their joined hands on his heart, pulling back to look into his eyes. "Right here. Do you understand me, Sirius? I'm not going anywhere."

One tear rolled down his cheek in response. Smiling, she gently wiped it away before moving his hair out of his eyes. "You are my son," she stated clearly. "I care about you, I am proud of you, and I love you."

She had told him once that there were two important aspects to any relationship: trust and love. Without either of these two things, the relationship could not survive. It is the lack of one of these that brings an end to marriages, crumples relationships between family, and reopens wounds that had previously healed. "To deny the importance of one brings about the destruction of the other," she'd said. Sirius knew this all too well from personal experience. It was why it had been so easy to leave his life when he finally made the decision to go. There was no feeling of loss when he left, no trust broken, no love missed. He had walked out, uncaring of the consequences of doing so, and had gone immediately to James.

And yet, it had not been James that had met him upon his arrival. It had been this glorious woman sitting next to him, a book in her hand and a cuppa sitting on the table, both immediately forgotten as soon as he walked through the door. It had been her who had caught him when he crumpled down on the floor, sobbing and hurting and broken. It had been her who had stroked his back, who had whispered words of comfort, who had healed the bruises left from the several curses Walburga had so carelessly thrown his way. It had been her who stayed with him that night, letting him lay in her lap and stroking his head until sleep finally found him. And it had been her who had said to him for the first time ever in his life, "I love you."

It was the first time in his entire life that he learned about what a relationship truly could mean. He'd trusted her with every secret he'd ever kept that night, telling her things that he hadn't even told James before, and she'd listened to every single word. His friendship with the Marauders was the glue that held and continued to hold him together all these years; but it was this woman, the one and only mother he would recognize in his life, that had helped him stand back up.

So when she opened up her arms as another tear fell, he leaned into them quickly, relishing in the warmth of what Walburga never managed to spare, relishing in the trust and love that radiated off of her, and relished in how easy it was to respond with, "I love you too, mum."

But this love hurt too. This love was leaving him. This love couldn't stay.

Merlin, he truly had absolutely no idea what it was that he needed.

Whether they stayed that way for twenty minutes or twenty hours, Sirius honestly did not know. He took everything that she was willing to give, and she was more than willing. The only thing that ended up breaking them apart was Fleamont Potter himself walking inside.

"Oh, Merlin, what's this nonsense?"

Euphemia pulled back with a genuine smile as Sirius wiped his face with his sleeve. "Sirius just dropped by for a chat."

"A chat that ends with tears and a hug?" he asked, walking towards his wife. "Must have been dreary."

She pressed a quick kiss to his lips as he leaned down. "Absolutely terrible."

He then turned to Sirius, extending a hand out to him as he stood up. "Good to see you, son."

Sirius grasped his hand and hugged him, patting him on the back twice. "You too."

Fleamont kept a hand on Sirius' shoulder as he pulled away. "Why do you smell like sex?"

"It's Marlene again," Euphemia said, standing up as well.

"Marlene again? I thought she was with—"

"Do I really smell that strongly?"

"Yes," they both responded.

"Fine, fine," Sirius mumbled to himself, pulling out his wand and casting a spell to be rid of the stench. "I'm actually glad you caught it, I need to be off."

"So soon?"

"Yeah," he said, stuffing his hands into his jacket's pockets. "Another mission from Dumbledore. That's actually why I came by."

"It's been a while since your last one, hasn't it?"

Sirius nodded.

"How long's this one?" Fleamont asked.

He shrugged. "I'm not sure. Three weeks, I think. Maybe two. A bit longer than the other ones."

"What are you doing there?" Euphemia asked.

"I'm making sure our protocol in case of an attack matches with their's," he explained. "Dumbledore wants us to appear as a united front."

"That's what they did against Grindelwald," Fleamont stated. "It's smart. Important. You're doing a good thing."

Sirius nodded sharply. "I know it is," he said. "I'm just worried about possibly running into Regulus. I don't know if I have the balls to off him if it became necessary."

"Oh, don't worry," Euphemia said. "The chances of you running into him must be slim."

"The chances of me being stationed where I am were slim." Sirius swallowed hard. "That's why I'm worried about _these_ chances."

"Where are you at?"

"He can't tell you, dear," Euphemia reminded.

"Ah, Dumbledore and his rules," he murmured, shaking his head. "You have a place to stay, though?"

Sirius nodded again, uncertainly. "I have a place in mind. Have to make sure it's all right with the owner, first."

"Always a smart thing to do."

"Well, be careful, darling," his mother said, wrapping him up in one last hug and kissing him on the cheek. "Write to us if you can."

"I will," he promised, before moving to the older man and doing the same. "Promise me you'll both hold off on any major life changes until I get back."

"No promises," Fleamont said, shaking his head. "I was thinking of knocking the missus up after you'd left."

"Oh, honestly." She gently swatted her husband's arm before turning back to Sirius. "We'll do our best, darling. Don't hate us if we can't keep that promise, though."

He gave them a sad smile before walking toward the fireplace, gathering a handful of Floo powder in his hand. He turned back to them just before he threw it, taking in one last sight of the only parents he'd truly known.

"I love you both."

"We love you, son," Fleamont responded.

And with the feeling of trust and love surrounding him, Sirius left.

* * *

He stood far from the door after knocking as if it was going to bite him.

Thankfully, it didn't, nor did it appear that it was going to, but he stood away from it nonetheless.

There was always something slightly uncomfortable about the idea of inviting oneself over. It had taken him two summers to understand that when the Potter's had said, "Come over anytime," they literally meant anytime. Once he had appeared while everyone else had gone and had sat on the couch waiting for them to return. When they finally had, they had been mad at him for not eating something despite him being hungry, not that he was in their house alone.

But that was the Potter's, the people that had taken him in as family, whom he had only hours ago embraced and said goodbye. This was an entirely different situation of which he had absolutely no idea how it was going to go.

He shifted on his feet and put the bag in his hand down, waiting for some semblance of sound coming from the other side. He had no idea how to even begin this conversation. _Hello, I know this is all very untoward, but I was wondering if I could stay with you_. That could work. Prim, proper, understanding.

Total bollocks.

 _I'm staying here._

Insistent. Direct. Abrupt. Also, most likely to get him kicked in the shin. Or somewhere much, _much_ worse.

He turned around, rubbing his face with his hands. This was ridiculous. What was he doing here? He should have taken Marlene's offer. This had every bit of potential to turn sour, and then what was he going to do? Go back to Dumbledore and say, _"Oh, sorry sir, but I couldn't complete the mission because the only person I could stay with was—"_

"Hey."

Sirius abruptly turned back to face the woman standing in front of him. "Hi."

"Hi," Beth responded. She crossed her arms tight against her, face confused and concerned. "Is everything okay?"

"You've a towel on your head."

He grimaced at himself. _What kind of a response—_

"I have, very astute of you to notice."

He took in a deep breath, wondering how the best way to get this question out would be. As far as he could see, there was no easy way. _Rip off the bandaid_ , he thought to himself. _Just tell her._

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Would you believe me if I said I was in the neighborhood?"

"No."

Sirius laughed shakily. "Good, that wouldn't be true." He shuffled his feet, looking down at them for a brief moment before meeting her eyes directly. "I have a proposition for you."

Her eyebrows lifted. "A proposition?"

He took a deep breath. "How would you like a roommate for an undetermined amount of time?"

 _Well done,_ he praised himself as he let the air out. _Ripped off the bandaid._

Apparently, Beth did not ascertain that the same courtesy was expected from her response.

At his question, she let out a heavy sigh, bringing her fingers to rest against her forehead. She looked almost… pained. Pained by what she'd heard. Pained by what he'd asked. Out of all of the reactions he'd thought she might have, somehow pain was not one that crossed his mind. He continued looking at her, waiting for her response, until she finally turned back towards the door, opening it wide.

"Come on, then."

* * *

Sirius had begun explaining everything the second the door had closed. Beth had listened intently, taking her hair out of the towel and patting it dry as he spoke. He'd told her everything, every single detail he could think of, in hopes that she would realize he had no part in stationing himself here. Dumbledore was very secretive in disclosing locations to others, and Sirius himself hadn't known where he was being sent until yesterday night. He'd known the mission, known what he had been sent to do, but was just as shocked as Beth now was to hear that it was only minutes from where she lived. He'd been momentarily baffled. Now, she was facing the same thing.

"So you just happened to be assigned here?" she questioned, obviously unconvinced.

He shook his head. "Beth, it could not have been more out of my control if I tried."

She sighed, sitting down on the couch opposite him. "It just all seems very convenient. _Too_ convenient."

"It does," he agreed. "It does very much, and I completely understand your disbelief. I reacted the same way when I heard. If it's that much of an issue for you, I won't force my stay. I'll find a hotel."

"No," she responded immediately, shaking her head, though that slightly pained look still remained. "You're not staying in a hotel. Of course, you can stay here."

"It's really no trouble," he said. "If you genuinely don't want me to stay here, I'll understand."

"It's fine."

She'd spoken sharply but was now staring at her hands, fidgeting with them nervously. He leaned forward, knowing she still had more to say.

"But?" he prompted.

She sighed, bringing her eyes back up to meet his. "I can't keep giving up my life for you guys, Sirius."

His brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I have classes I have to go to, I have tests coming up, I'm going to be studying, I have friends I'm going to see, I have a date tonight—"

"You have a date?" he interrupted.

"Yeah." She pointed to her hair. "That's why there was a towel on my head."

"Ah."

An uncomfortable silence reigned between them before Beth finally laughed exasperatedly. "I wasn't—You weren't—This is what I'm talking about. I can't—I mean, I'm not—I _won't_ give up my life just because you're here."

"I'm not asking you to."

"But no, see, that's what's going to happen. I'm going to be off, and I'm going to be having a nice time, and he's going to say, 'Do you want to go back to my place?' and I'm going to have to say no because you're here—"

"Why would you have to do that?"

"Because," she threw up her hands, "I can't say yes knowing you're here because then the next day you're going to say something about it and then you and I are going to get in a big fight and you'll leave and I'll never get to see James again because he'll take your side—"

"Beth."

"And then Remus'll drop by once to check up on me but he won't do it again and then I'm going to get stressed and I'll fail the semester—"

"I had sex this morning."

He was almost as startled as she was at his admission and bluntness.

"What?"

"Yup." An awkward pause passed between them as he watched her mind start generating snarky responses. "Granted," he cut in, "I wasn't planning on just throwing that out there like that, but yeah."

She scrunched her face in confusion. "And you're throwing that out there _now_ because—"

"Because we're both adults, Beth," he offered. "We're both moving on and there's no reason to hide that. I mean, we used to date, it didn't work out, we shagged, we haven't done it again, but people have urges, and we're friends now, and obviously I wish nothing but the best for you. Why should it be an issue?"

She scoffed. "Are you giving me permission to have sex?"

"What the f—" He rolled his eyes at her question. "Beth, what are you talking about?"

"I don't know," she admitted, dropping her head into her hands. "I don't know. But this, it's weird, right?" She motioned between them. "This is weird."

"It'll only be weird if you keep on insisting that it is," he chided. "Most exes stop seeing each other altogether after they break up, but we broke up in August and it is now November, and we have seen each other once a week for several weeks now. We've gone past all of the awkward conversations, I've visited you multiple times, I'd say at this point that we're fine."

Beth sighed. "It's still—I don't know. I guess you're right."

"Listen," he said, being sure that he was looking directly into her eyes, hoping that she would take it as a move of sincerity. "If you are still uncomfortable after a couple of days, let me know. I will find another place to stay, no questions asked."

She pondered that for a moment. "No questions asked?"

"No questions asked."

Beth nodded slowly. Her hands were still fidgeting, but her eyes remained on his. "James and Remus and all them—"

"They'll still come to visit, of course," he promised. "Dumbledore will tell them that I'm here right before they come here. That'll work out well for me because I can just relay any information I learn to them then, and then they can bring it back to the Order. Plus, I'll be able to help you look for those magic-related attacks and differentiate them between actual disasters."

"I am still having a little trouble with that," she admitted.

"But it won't even be an all-day-every-day thing," he pointed out. "I'll be gone for most of the day at meetings, you'll be gone at class, I'll come back before too late, I'll stay quiet, and I'll help pay for any food or other expenses you have."

She took in his words but looked at him skeptically. "You're being very kind," she said, almost accusingly.

"It's not being done in an attempt to seduce you. Get over yourself, Beth."

For the first time since he'd arrived, an actual smile escaped her. He accepted it greedily, happy to see some resemblance of normalcy finally returning. She glanced down at the object she was sitting on. "My couch doesn't pull out into a bed," she said. "You'd have to—"

"I think I can manage to sleep on a couch, Beth. And," he shrugged, "if it gets too bad, I'll just hop into bed with you."

She rolled her eyes. "Sirius—"

"I'm joking."

"If this is what you're going to act like the entire time—"

"Then you can send me back to Dumbledore in pieces. I'm sure Remus would happily pay for postage."

Beth bit back a grin, and Sirius knew in that instant that he had finally won.

"Fine," she said, throwing her arms up in display. "Welcome to apartment 313 C."

"Fantastic," he said with a wide smile. He stood up quickly and went to her, grasping her face in his hands and placing a loud kiss on her forehead before moving to the door to retrieve his bag. "You won't regret this," he called back to her.

In his excitement, he didn't see her fall back against the couch, didn't watch her eyes close, didn't hear her sigh, and didn't listen to her say, "God, I hope I don't."

* * *

A/N: _Of course_ it happened to be right near where Beth is staying. This isn't called fanfiction for nothing, folks!

A very big thank you to all of the reviews, follows, and favorites from the last chapter! We're currently at over 100 reviews and over 200 follows! My heart is soaring with happiness. Please keep them coming!

Nimblescrivener, thank you for your wonderful insight into creating this chapter. I could not do this without you.


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